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Is This A Bad Idea???

StickFigure

New member
My son has his pre-school "graduation" tonight and my ex called to let me know where it is and then invited me to go get appetizers with her and the kids afterwards.

Do you think this kinda thing gives the kids a false sense of hope that mom and dad are getting back together?

Or do you think it's healthy for them to see that mom and dad are still friends?
 
It could go both ways. Would be good to let your son see that mom and dad may not be together, but they are still friends. But, at the first sign the kid thinks you guys are back together, sit him down and make sure he understands that mommy and daddy are friends. Better than fighting all the time. That may leave negative effects on him and affect his future relations with women.
 
chef_bone said:
Are you gonna hit it?

Seriously, set a good example for your kids sake and go out with them.
:Chef: :tuc:

FUCK NO!!! We get along but now, I wouldn't fuck her with Lestats dick and KB pushing!! :heks: She is a good mom, but as a person she is a total turn off anymore.
 
mrplunkey said:
how long has she been your "ex"?

The mariage was over more than 2 years ago, we seperated over a year ago, and the divorce was finalized in court on Valentines Day this year.
 
It sets a good example. It shows that you are both involved in your children's lives although the ex-wife and you are divorced. I think it's healthy to be around the children with the ex on activities such as these. It may create a perception on the children's minds thatr you may be getting together but that is the cost of sharing time together with them. The benefits definately outweigh the costs here. Plus, you don't really want another guy playing the daddy role.
 
StickFigure said:
The mariage was over more than 2 years ago, we seperated over a year ago, and the divorce was finalized in court on Valentines Day this year.
Way too soon IMO. If it were two or three years post-finalization, your chances of the kid getting confused would be much less.
 
Trojan Horse said:
It sets a good example. It shows that you are both involved in your children's lives although the ex-wife and you are divorced. I think it's healthy to be around the children with the ex on activities such as these. It may create a perception on the children's minds thatr you may be getting together but that is the cost of sharing time together with them. The benefits definately outweigh the costs here. Plus, you don't really want another guy playing the daddy role.


That's reminds me.....the kids told her that it was cool, and good if daddy had a girlfriend but it was NOT ok if she had a boyfriend! LOL!
 
StickFigure said:
That's reminds me.....the kids told her that it was cool, and good if daddy had a girlfriend but it was NOT ok if she had a boyfriend! LOL!
The first time they see either one of you with a new SO it will hit them hard. It shatters the illusion they have that you two will get back together.

Just a heads-up.
 
mrplunkey said:
The first time they see either one of you with a new SO it will hit them hard. It shatters the illusion they have that you two will get back together.

Just a heads-up.

Actually they knew I was dating someone and were very excited.
 
Setting a good example my parents got divorced when I was 4 by the age of 7 or 8 they were on good terms pretty much. My mom invited my father over for holidays a far bit and he was always invited to any kind of celebration that was for my brother or myself.
 
I think it is nice for them to see you being civil to one another
 
HeatherRae said:
I think it is nice for them to see you being civil to one another

Since our seperation, we have never let the kids see us be anything bu civil to eachother and we have never bad mouthed the other in front of them.
 
StickFigure said:
My son has his pre-school "graduation" tonight and my ex called to let me know where it is and then invited me to go get appetizers with her and the kids afterwards.

Do you think this kinda thing gives the kids a false sense of hope that mom and dad are getting back together?

Or do you think it's healthy for them to see that mom and dad are still friends?
Do it for the kids bro! I would think it would be better for your kids to see you and thier mom not hating eachother. I know first hand what it was like for my parents to get divorced at a young age. it would have made my day if we could have all hung out and had dinner together once in a while and for them not to act childish
 
I think the fact that you and the ex will both be at the graduation supporting your son together is good enough. Especially this early.
 
everytime my ex and I did anything..even have a conversation, it did something to my son. He kept up hope that we would get back together up until he was 17 years old. Hell, me and his mother divorced when he was 1 year old
 
It will probably initially give them false hope. However, they'll get used to it. . .this is the way life is going to be. Most kids are a lot tougher, smarter and intuitive than they are given credit for.
 
Well, a little update. I went to both the grad and out to the restaraunt and the kids thought it was cool that we were having dinner as a "family" but I asked my oldest daughters afterwards if they understood that just because we went to dinner, doesn't mean we were getting back together. They both said thet they understood and that they actually don't want us to get back together because since the divorce "daddy has been alot happier". LMAO!! I love the things kids say!
 
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