I need major help with my eating disorder

[curvymommy]

FAT IS FIXABLE

Here. Here! You can do it. Get the binge foods out of your house. Find an accountability partner to help you out.

Binging is a very shameful act. Please get help to find the root of the problem. There is a good book called Life is hard, Food is Easy.

I used to binge too. I hit my rock bottom point when I was driving home from an event with a half gallon of semi-melted ice cream in my car. I looked over at it and attacked it with a sturdy green starbucks straw at a red light. By the time I got home I was so pissed off at my self (tears streaming down) that I had a fit and slam dunked the rest of the container into the garbage and sought help online like you are. I haven't binged since.

Sorry if this seems to be all about mememememe but I can relate dude. You must FIND the root of your problems and build on small successes. That builds confidence.

 

[freeze2000]

High School football is over dude - if you don't move on past that, you will be in the same place 20 yrs from now. You are too young to become a has been. You have to move on.

Thanks everyone for the help and support. Im currently 18 but have been bodybuilding for 4 years which turned badly 1 year ago into the eating disorder.

I used to eat very strictly and gradually start to eat which then turned into emotional eating.

I know many of you say "High school is over, football is over" but thats not it. I understand High school is over, its just the perception people look at me. For instance, I ran into a GOOD FRIEND i had this past week. He used to look up to me for my work ethic and dedication to bodybuilding. Now we starting talking and the first thing he asked me was why I quit and you could clearly tell his opinion of him changed. Its like they go from admiring me to saying "Your a low life" and I HATE that. You probably don't think its that big of a deal but I feel it is.

Also to add: I have been to a counselor, 2 of them in fact. I told them I have a eating disorder and I was merely depressed. He said it wasn't a eating disorder and gave me meds but I feel these docters and psychotrists aren't doing shit.

And yes I have ran a cycle of test and tren ace, I know a lot about that stuff, but I am properly balanced, took the proper PCT,AI, and have gotten my test levels checked and they are fine. The depression isn't from the drugs, its more mental. (Its been over 3 months sense my last injection) Infact, I plan on doing another cycle in about 4 months when I get the money. But thats off the subject, they won't do anything if I cant conquer this problem.

I emailed someone and plan on going to the bookstore sometime this week and getting a pick called "shrink yourself" Which is a book on binge eating.

 

[calveless wonder]

professional help is in the right direction...our advice can only take you so far. however, you need someone who you can TRUST and knows what they're talking about.

there's alot of issues and shame you're experiencing now.

being at the top and falling from grace is one of the most difficult things to deal with in life....the ones with true strength rise up from the ashes and will be better off than before. it's a long, difficult journey...

but i sense it's something deeper than this that's bothering you.

you need to stop looking at where you were, and realize where you are now. as hard as that sounds. focus on getting better by the day....you're not going to be where you were overnight. Commit yourself to this journey...map it out.
define goals and how you're going to get there. until you put it on paper and really see yourself doing it, it won't happen


i've been through your struggle many times over already at age 25, and i can tell you it's never been easy to recover but when you get there you feel an incredible sense of accomplishment as well as personal strength. don't let your mind play tricks on you by thinking you can't reach that point again

if you train hard, eat well and let yourself live a little (don't give up everything you enjoy foodwise)...you don't have to be 1000% clean. live a little, you're young

there are several things that create action
1.) disgust
2.) anger

if you're feeling those things, use it to propel you. don't look at them as negative emotions

 

[freeze2000]

professional help is in the right direction...our advice can only take you so far. however, you need someone who you can TRUST and knows what they're talking about.

there's alot of issues and shame you're experiencing now.

being at the top and falling from grace is one of the most difficult things to deal with in life....the ones with true strength rise up from the ashes and will be better off than before. it's a long, difficult journey...

but i sense it's something deeper than this that's bothering you.

you need to stop looking at where you were, and realize where you are now. as hard as that sounds. focus on getting better by the day....you're not going to be where you were overnight. Commit yourself to this journey...map it out.
define goals and how you're going to get there. until you put it on paper and really see yourself doing it, it won't happen


i've been through your struggle many times over already at age 25, and i can tell you it's never been easy to recover but when you get there you feel an incredible sense of accomplishment as well as personal strength. don't let your mind play tricks on you by thinking you can't reach that point again

if you train hard, eat well and let yourself live a little (don't give up everything you enjoy foodwise)...you don't have to be 1000% clean. live a little, you're young

there are several things that create action
1.) disgust
2.) anger

if you're feeling those things, use it to propel you. don't look at them as negative emotions

Thank you curvy and capless, that means a lot. Thats awesome that you can relate. This disorder just sucks, and its a shame I have to go through it for a 18 year old boy. Tomorrow when I wake up i'm going to try and come up with a answer, and think positive thoughts. I realize I cannot change the past, and who I was before doesn't matter. It is where I am now, and I think that is the hardest part for me to cope. I actually want to start running marathons, but can't get off my lazy ass because I'm addicted to lifting and don't want to loose all my hard earned muscle. Im not all the way fat, im probably 225 with 17 percent BF and I was 210 with probably 10 about 2 months ago.

 

[calveless wonder]

you're 18 and you're doing cycles already?

You know you're creating this problem for yourself.....

i touched the juice at the age of 20, and it was WAY too early honestly.

once you give yourself that mental and physical edge, it's pretty much impossible to turn back into a natty. The only thing stopped me from juicing was not working out/training all together...which was a couple of year period.


why the fuck are you juicing if you're 50 lbs overweight? its not going to help you in anyway. (edit..if you're 225 and 17% bf, you're really not that far off dude.....a couple of months of dedication will get you back on track. the way you make it sound is like you're 25-30% bf).

your issues are way deeper...find someone that actually WANTS to help you, not collect a check and just give you scripts. believe me, alot of docs are like that..but not all

 

[Tatyana]

I sorted out my diet and how I ate around your age.

Consider it a blessing.

You are 18, your life is not over, it has barely begun.

 

[curvymommy]

1.) disgust
2.) anger

if you're feeling those things, use it to propel you. don't look at them as negative emotions

I 100% agree. Those are the emotions I felt as the ice cream was slammed into the garbage. I was so pissed. Getting enraged does something to you, I pray you will get there and use that anger to say NO MORE. Then just build on small successes.

 

[freeze2000]

I sorted out my diet and how I ate around your age.

Consider it a blessing.

You are 18, your life is not over, it has barely begun.

Your right but see now I am starting to question myself. To tell you the truth I want to die just to see what the end is like. The big question - Where do we go when we die?

I'd love to die tomorrow and that kinda scares the shit out of me. But i'm not sure if any of you can relate to this subject, but I don't think that has anything to do with depression. I only get depressed when I binge, and don't have suicidal thoughts. The suicidal thoughts come as of religion and do I want to live a religious life, or have fun, party (not to much) and just enjoy life.

 

[freeze2000]

you're 18 and you're doing cycles already?

You know you're creating this problem for yourself.....

i touched the juice at the age of 20, and it was WAY too early honestly.

once you give yourself that mental and physical edge, it's pretty much impossible to turn back into a natty. The only thing stopped me from juicing was not working out/training all together...which was a couple of year period.


why the fuck are you juicing if you're 50 lbs overweight? its not going to help you in anyway. (edit..if you're 225 and 17% bf, you're really not that far off dude.....a couple of months of dedication will get you back on track. the way you make it sound is like you're 25-30% bf).

your issues are way deeper...find someone that actually WANTS to help you, not collect a check and just give you scripts. believe me, alot of docs are like that..but not all

To be honest I feel I was completely ready. My strength wasn't going to get much higher sense i've been bodybuildling strictly for 4 years, I had my diet down, and I knew what the **** I was doing. I researched for over 2 years until I decided to say lets do this. Also I have always been very mature for my age, and I feel im 2 years older then most people around my age. Hell, I was growing pubic hairs at 8, and had a full beard at 13.

I don't want to go back to natty, I love the juice. I feel like the juice has helped my life its this huge mental disorder I have. Juice is the only thing that is what I look forward to.

 

[calveless wonder]

To be honest I feel I was completely ready. My strength wasn't going to get much higher sense i've been bodybuildling strictly for 4 years, I had my diet down, and I knew what the **** I was doing. I researched for over 2 years until I decided to say lets do this. Also I have always been very mature for my age, and I feel im 2 years older then most people around my age. Hell, I was growing pubic hairs at 8, and had a full beard at 13.

I don't want to go back to natty, I love the juice. I feel like the juice has helped my life its this huge mental disorder I have. Juice is the only thing that is what I look forward to.

i can relate to that as well...however your age concerns me. your hormones are still fluctuating naturally and your growth plates haven't fused yet.

i'm not going to lie, i use the juice as well to fill voids in my life and it works. it may not be the most emotionally healthy thing but i feel great and it works. after every aaspect in my life went to shit the juice saved me and got my confidence back (of course in addition to training hard and eating clean). i don't recommend it, as it is self medicating...but i'm not gonna sit on a pedestal and say you're wrong for doing it etc.

hwoever i did this at the ages of 22 and 24-25....my body and hormones were already pretty much set in stone.

there's alot of dangers to doing steroids prior to your twenties.

that's my concern above all