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I miss being married!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- Thread starter Arabian
- Start date
mrplunkey
New member
I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe try to schedule a visit during the holidays?
Sorry to hear that man.. now the only real gift i can give to you would be for you to look ahead, not backwards. This will be the 1st christmas without my mom, she passed away dec 26 of last year, i was there..
When my wife and i divorced, the kids were older, there was a time they didn't want to be with me, their mom forced them to, but it was ok, now it's all great..
Not saying that is how it will work out for you, but always look ahead, Hope springs eternal...
When my wife and i divorced, the kids were older, there was a time they didn't want to be with me, their mom forced them to, but it was ok, now it's all great..
Not saying that is how it will work out for you, but always look ahead, Hope springs eternal...
mrplunkey
New member
you will be married again. i'm sure of it.
i love being married. now.
I appreciate that Stilleto.. btw you mean alot to me..
1sassychic2
New member
What do you miss about being married, specifically?
mrplunkey
New member
That's a great question.
The married lifestyle is great. "Marriage" itself sucks IMO.
You were married and had children?!? I never knew that.
See sig
chris302001
Banned
lol i was waiting for u to chime in
omg i couldnt agree more
walliwalibus
New member
Arabian, this is great advise..... I am not allowed to see my (check this out) step grandchildren (future ex's son's daughters) whom I basically raised for 5 yrs. I do what the quote says... and one day they figure it out.
Well, too much is getting out on me now, so I won't say anymore. But I know what its like man..... we float in the same boat.
hang in there bro....
Tiesto says love comes again...
Tiesto says love comes again...
seaking420
New member
+2
seaking420
New member
arabian....i didnt know you were married with kids either......why dont you know where your kids are?? Dont mean to get personal.....some people like to share their personal stories like myself here because in the real world im not comfortable with other people knowing my personal shit but here i feel comfortable talking to people and sharing life experiences.....most people here dont judge you....probably because most have been there before. good luck bro.
I know exactly where you are right now. My ex took off with my two boys and remained hidden for more than two years. I have a long story with a very pleasant outcome and I sincerely hope you arrive at the same place!
seaking420
New member
why do woman feel like they have the only rights to their children. Never understood that....we are good enough fathers at the time when they wanted kids and when we help raise them, but then if the father and mother no longer get along the woman automatically thinks the kids are theirs....wtf!!!!
U
UA_Iron
Guest
I can kind of relate. I'm losing two dogs in my "divorce"
Everyone here has good advice. Good luck man.
Everyone here has good advice. Good luck man.
Arabian;8468350 I dont know where they are.. I wish i could.. this is the toughest thing Ive ever had to do in life.. I wish i knew for sure there was an after life however Im afraid Im been led on for years about to said:
Grumpy Old Man
Grumpy Old Biker Bastard
Hey D come up and visit, we can hang out and you'll feel better.
D
PS I haven't been able to see or talk to my 17yr old son or my 14 yr old daughter since 2004
D
PS I haven't been able to see or talk to my 17yr old son or my 14 yr old daughter since 2004
BBR100
New member
They're old enough to make their own decisions now. Did you guys have a big falling out?
Not too late to change that if you want to I hope.
Grumpy Old Man
Grumpy Old Biker Bastard
Yeah, I can't talk to them, their grandmother changed her phone number, I got the new one the kids never answer the phone I have my tow and my wife's 4 to deal with, in a perfect world the kids would be with me. But they aren't. I don't need advise by the way. Their mother is a crack whore, still in jail after her 14th arrest. The grandparents like the child support and the assistance they get cause they gambled all their money away after moving to Vegas 18 yrs ago, one parks cars the other gives change in a small casino. So they take the money and play.
Last about this from me.
This goes for everyone that can't/doesn't see their children.
Do you guys not have custodial rights? If you do their really isn't much stopping you from seeing them. Now if you don't that's a problem.
BBR100
New member
seaking420
New member
Is crazy to see/hear about so many people in these kind of situation....unfortunately its life and you have to just deal with it.
I agree, marriage is overrated. I think what most people struggle with is change. Its a big change when you get divorced, everything is different. Im glad your happy in the position your in woots...much better than a few months ago......whats up with daisy...does she still want you back??
damn man, that really sucks
sorry...
don't be
shit happens
I was stone sober when this all went down
nothing actually happened
her mother never got over me, and she used my child against me
It was sick and painfull to watch my daughter to be manipulated and f--d with in the head
A child has two parents
that's probably the reason I self medicated myself to death
I would love to Dale thanks for the invitw...
needtogetaas
New member
heh
layinback
New member
these threads tear my heart out. for real.
i ran my first wife off and of course, she took our two boys. i didn't see them for two months. i cried everyday, was unable to work
and didn't want to live. (later i got custody.) man, that was only two months away from my boys.......i couldn't imagine what some
of you guys have been through. as a loving father, my heart goes out to you.
i ran my first wife off and of course, she took our two boys. i didn't see them for two months. i cried everyday, was unable to work
and didn't want to live. (later i got custody.) man, that was only two months away from my boys.......i couldn't imagine what some
of you guys have been through. as a loving father, my heart goes out to you.
Razorguns
Well-known member
unf people who are in "love" and wanna get married, have kids (or other way around like the palin slut) don't wanna hear that. They're blind to talk like that.
hence
nomarriage.com
Otherwise, that's life sir.
r
what to pay $500-$1000 for the tenth time, only for the to make sure I'm current on my childsupport(never missed a payment, auto-deduct from paycheck)
and they slap her on the wrist
then when it's time to see her she "can't, because something came up)
Ya can't call the police
I'm not the custodial parent
Fathers have very LITTLE rights in Mass
seaking420
New member
dude im sorry to hear that....but there has to be something you can do. Dont you have visitation rights. Just because she's the custodial parent doesnt give her the right to stop you from seeing your daughter
Bikini Mod
New member
With all due respect for those who keep saying "you have rights" "the custodial parent can't get away with that" - YOU HAVE NO CLUE WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT.
Until you have been dragged through the system you really have no clue.
My husband (Grumpy Old Man) finally volunteered the nightmare he lives with not seeing HIS BIOLOGICAL CHILDREN. That is why he believed me about my nightmarish custody situation with MY KIDS - He already lived through his own and knows that if the law fucked up favoring one fucked up parent then surely the law would fuck up favoring the fucked up parent in another situation - it happens ALL THE TIME to parents of both genders, not only to the fathers.
Once you lose custody for WHATEVER REASON (valid or not) you will have to go through hell and back to even try to get it back.
As for the children "knowing the truth" - newsflash - they don't have a clue what the truth is as they live with an asshole that fills their heads will all sorts of filthy lies about the parent who isn't there. The child is alienated and finally only "knows" that the other parent isn't there. What consolation is there when MABYE one day that alienated child grows up and maybe stumbles onto the parent they were kept from and MABYE believes the REAL TRUTH?
WTF good is that when 10-20 years or more have been lost?
Child support? WTF does that mean? Even when my ex did not pay me any fucking support and I had a final protective order I STILL let him see the kids waaaaaaaaaaay above the time that the court gave him, matter of fact I voluntarily gave him joint physical custody in the absence of ANY support... And WTF does that matter today?
DONT MEAN SHIT... not to the court and not to my kids because they were too young to remember and too young to understand that now.
I feel you Arabian and Ortiz and GOM and every other parent that has had a child kept from them, mother or father the wound is no less deep or real...
There is nothing to hold in our hearts except memories that continually fade with each passing day. Hope? WHAT HOPE? Can we be given that time back? NEVER....
I am still very bitter and angry because of how differently mothers who lose custody are treated than fathers...
I am not directing this towards anyone specifically. Arabian, Ortiz and My Grump I know that you both die every day without your kids, but I can guarandamnteeyou that no one ever called you a dirty whore who must have done something to have the court take them from you and not enforce YOUR RIGHT to parent... I know how hard you fought baby (to my husband)... I know you would give your life for MY children. I know how hard you have fought so that I wouldn't check out. I know and have lived how hard you fight FOR US to be a family.
I will never forsake you because of this.
Arabian - don't give up your entire life because you have lost touch with your children. Look at Ortiz and my old grump and me .... we found loving life partners. That will never replace the family that was stolen from us, true. But we have love and we have lives...
Maybe, just maybe if you ever get strong enough you can TRY to get back into the lives of your children if you feel that it is worth the fight FOR YOU...
No one knows what this is like until they have lived it. No one can judge and no one can understand.
I will tell you all something that the shrink who did THREE psych evals for me told me a few years back. I find it to be helpfull to this day. He said to me, "Your children will grow up with you or without you. What are YOU going to do with the rest of YOUR LIFE?!"
Wootoom, my brother you are certainly most lucky and it is a good thing that you understand how precious your children are in your life without having to have suffered the trauma of losing them.
Beachboy - it does my heart good to hear that your girls are finally safely with you in a loving environment.
Until you have been dragged through the system you really have no clue.
My husband (Grumpy Old Man) finally volunteered the nightmare he lives with not seeing HIS BIOLOGICAL CHILDREN. That is why he believed me about my nightmarish custody situation with MY KIDS - He already lived through his own and knows that if the law fucked up favoring one fucked up parent then surely the law would fuck up favoring the fucked up parent in another situation - it happens ALL THE TIME to parents of both genders, not only to the fathers.
Once you lose custody for WHATEVER REASON (valid or not) you will have to go through hell and back to even try to get it back.
As for the children "knowing the truth" - newsflash - they don't have a clue what the truth is as they live with an asshole that fills their heads will all sorts of filthy lies about the parent who isn't there. The child is alienated and finally only "knows" that the other parent isn't there. What consolation is there when MABYE one day that alienated child grows up and maybe stumbles onto the parent they were kept from and MABYE believes the REAL TRUTH?
WTF good is that when 10-20 years or more have been lost?
Child support? WTF does that mean? Even when my ex did not pay me any fucking support and I had a final protective order I STILL let him see the kids waaaaaaaaaaay above the time that the court gave him, matter of fact I voluntarily gave him joint physical custody in the absence of ANY support... And WTF does that matter today?
DONT MEAN SHIT... not to the court and not to my kids because they were too young to remember and too young to understand that now.
I feel you Arabian and Ortiz and GOM and every other parent that has had a child kept from them, mother or father the wound is no less deep or real...
There is nothing to hold in our hearts except memories that continually fade with each passing day. Hope? WHAT HOPE? Can we be given that time back? NEVER....
I am still very bitter and angry because of how differently mothers who lose custody are treated than fathers...
I am not directing this towards anyone specifically. Arabian, Ortiz and My Grump I know that you both die every day without your kids, but I can guarandamnteeyou that no one ever called you a dirty whore who must have done something to have the court take them from you and not enforce YOUR RIGHT to parent... I know how hard you fought baby (to my husband)... I know you would give your life for MY children. I know how hard you have fought so that I wouldn't check out. I know and have lived how hard you fight FOR US to be a family.
I will never forsake you because of this.
Arabian - don't give up your entire life because you have lost touch with your children. Look at Ortiz and my old grump and me .... we found loving life partners. That will never replace the family that was stolen from us, true. But we have love and we have lives...
Maybe, just maybe if you ever get strong enough you can TRY to get back into the lives of your children if you feel that it is worth the fight FOR YOU...
No one knows what this is like until they have lived it. No one can judge and no one can understand.
I will tell you all something that the shrink who did THREE psych evals for me told me a few years back. I find it to be helpfull to this day. He said to me, "Your children will grow up with you or without you. What are YOU going to do with the rest of YOUR LIFE?!"
Wootoom, my brother you are certainly most lucky and it is a good thing that you understand how precious your children are in your life without having to have suffered the trauma of losing them.
Beachboy - it does my heart good to hear that your girls are finally safely with you in a loving environment.
txbondsman
New member
seaking420
New member
question...ortiz, bm, arabian, grump..how does this happen....i mean if you are good mothers/fathers how are your kids kept from you.....is it because of your ex that lies???? Just trying to understand how you guys cant see your kids but others can....i just dont get it.
Bikini Mod
New member
BINGO.
That and IF you are unfortunate to get a judge who doesn't give a fat rat's ass that your ex is BLATANTLY lying then you are fucked... PERIOD.
Sorry to bust most peoples' bubbles that THINK that the law "nearly always sides with the mother" and that "only mothers who are crackwhores lose custody of their kids" ...that just ain't the case. Children are regularly taken from good mothers and given to abusive fathers on a regular basis. You just don't hear about it because of the SEVERE stigma of shame. Just look at the amount of the absolute CRAP that was heaped on me online all over the damned web FOR YEARS. Oh wait, I was a this or I was a that. Hate to tell ya'll but I have met THREE professional women who are by all accounts "average and boring" and it happened to them too. I have also read many MANY websites, articles and news stories that tell of the same phenomena.
See, there are the way that things are supposed to be and then there are THE WAY THINGS ARE.
Grumpy Old Man
Grumpy Old Biker Bastard
today is a perfect example of why i love being married.
last night we got some dinner and did some shopping (target). i was really tired, so we came home, watched the debate, and went to sleep. he got up early this morning, took care of the animals, drove my daughter to her friend's house, and picked up breakfast. we had the sechs, and we're going out in a little while.
it's nice to be taken care of. it's nice to take care of someone else (and be appreciated). and it's nice to have someone to do something with who doesn't require you to make small talk.
last night we got some dinner and did some shopping (target). i was really tired, so we came home, watched the debate, and went to sleep. he got up early this morning, took care of the animals, drove my daughter to her friend's house, and picked up breakfast. we had the sechs, and we're going out in a little while.
it's nice to be taken care of. it's nice to take care of someone else (and be appreciated). and it's nice to have someone to do something with who doesn't require you to make small talk.
Bikini Mod
New member
+10,001
-10,003
I win!
I win!
javaguru
Banned
Having children...totally separate from marriage. You can be a good dad and it's hard for a divorced father but you got divorced for a reason. Focus on being the best father you can, that means you shouldn't be a permissive father. You're dad..the disciplinarian and the example for your children. I love my ex-wife Shelagh but we should not have married, we were best friends and it didn't work for a reason.
layinback
New member
i take it you're not married and you don't have kids........
you are quite the charmer. real silver tongued devil, you are.
your compassion and empathy are only exceeded by your otherworldly
insight into the human condition. i can only bask in your wisdom and
genius. you are such a positive and helpful force here on ef.
i take it you're not married and you don't have kids........
you are quite the charmer. real silver tongued devil, you are.
your compassion and empathy are only exceeded by your otherworldly
insight into the human condition. i can only bask in your wisdom and
genius. you are such a positive and helpful force here on ef.
It's RAZORNEGATIVE!!!
Bikini Mod
New member
I guess you missed the part about his ex keeping him from having any contact with his kids for THREE YEARS now...
Bikini Mod
New member
You're just begging for a bikinimom beatdown! Men have it easy
Oh hush up you... that isn't what I said EVER... and you know it.
Now cut it out before I spank your ass!
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