i made a mistake today

[Sub-Zero]

my mom was being a huge bitch to me, and something happened that broke the straw on the kemeels back

so we are already pissed cause shes dumb, and then her phone rings and shes reaching for it while driving, and im like ill get it, get it, but its too late.

so i had her the phone and shes like, call him back, and i hate fucking using her phone and having to be the messenger between 2 fucking convos, its like bitch call when u get home, its not even safe while driving. s

anyway she wanted me to call, and im like no, im not gunan do it, so she yells and grabs the phone <WHILE DRIVING> and is like FINE. so im like well if ur not gunan wait till u get home ill do it, and she hands it back to me and is still being bitchy.

as soon as i get the phone i meant to mutter under my breath "its not like i know how to use ur god damn fucking phone"

but for some reason, i got muttering under breath and yelling mixed up in my brain (no joke, i shit u not i had every intention to mutter it so she couldnt hear).

so i YELL super loud right at her "ITS NOT LIKE I KNOW HOW TO USE YOUR GOD DAMN FUCKING PHONE"

i love her though


___+
EVANSTEVE cliffnotes:
women + hormones = backhands, bruises, and cops

 

[awittyusername]

Sorry Junior. I'll try not to call your mom while she is driving. I guess I should wait until she tucks you into bed at night

 

[SoKlueles]

my mom would have knocked my teeth out

 

[Gambino]

sub can we see a quick pic of mommalicous?

 

[Sub-Zero]

oh yeah, the negativity started because:

a long time ago while driving her and my dad somewhere, it was a red light and i was coming out o fa enighborhood with a stopsign and was making a right, and this asshole left space for me (light is red mind u so she cant go anywhere anyway, and the sign said dont block the box) so i start turning into the space, and then she starts going forward and HONKS ME!! (light is still red and noone in front of us is moving).

so shes a bitch

my parents go, "what the hell are u doing she had the right of way" i tried to explain the situation to them, but they were all like "if she doesnt want to let u in she doesnt have to" and im like "she LEFT room, for me to go in wtf is the point in leaving room then"

so anyway,

today my mom goes out of the same turn but instead of turning once, she fucking goes over 2 fucking lanes of traffic while doing this, and SHE honks some people calling them fucking assholes for trying not to let her go.

mind u she did the exact thing she said i was wrong for, except over another lane of traffic, and she was the one honking.

i called her out on it, and she started yelling at me (shes not feeling well today but still, wtf) and so im like "well if u can critisize me i gottta stand up for myself when im right".

so shes like 'JUST SHUT UP, JESUS" and then she realized she was being a bitch, and was like trying to turn it into a joke and shit, so im just like "u cant expect me to let u critsize me for stuff and me cant critisize u when u do the same"

so thats why she was already bitchy

 

[eat big]

At least your mom isn't a drunk. When my mom gets shit faced she does stupid shit that pisses me off. One night I took away her wine bottle because she was absolutely plastered. She got pissed and took my car keys. She hid them somewhere. And we haven't found them since... because she was so drunk she forgot where she put them.

 

[Sub-Zero]

Sorry Junior. I'll try not to call your mom while she is driving. I guess I should wait until she tucks you into bed at night

it was my bro who called, nice try

sub can we see a quick pic of mommalicous?

shes ugly.

 

[awittyusername]

sub can we see a quick pic of mommalicous?

I got some pics of her that I can shoot to you. But, they are definately not PG-13. So, don't show them to Junior

 

[Gambino]

oh yeah, the negativity started because:

a long time ago while driving her and my dad somewhere, it was a red light and i was coming out o fa enighborhood with a stopsign and was making a right, and this asshole left space for me (light is red mind u so she cant go anywhere anyway, and the sign said dont block the box) so i start turning into the space, and then she starts going forward and HONKS ME!! (light is still red and noone in front of us is moving).

so shes a bitch

my parents go, "what the hell are u doing she had the right of way" i tried to explain the situation to them, but they were all like "if she doesnt want to let u in she doesnt have to" and im like "she LEFT room, for me to go in wtf is the point in leaving room then"

so anyway,

today my mom goes out of the same turn but instead of turning once, she fucking goes over 2 fucking lanes of traffic while doing this, and SHE honks some people calling them fucking assholes for trying not to let her go.

mind u she did the exact thing she said i was wrong for, except over another lane of traffic, and she was the one honking.

i called her out on it, and she started yelling at me (shes not feeling well today but still, wtf) and so im like "well if u can critisize me i gottta stand up for myself when im right".

so shes like 'JUST SHUT UP, JESUS" and then she realized she was being a bitch, and was like trying to turn it into a joke and shit, so im just like "u cant expect me to let u critsize me for stuff and me cant critisize u when u do the same"

so thats why she was already bitchy

damn flegygel, where is the cliff notes? fucking way too many words, at least underline the important stuff

 

[dahamn]

my mom was being a huge bitch to me, and something happened that broke the straw on the kemeels back

so we are already pissed cause shes dumb, and then her phone rings and shes reaching for it while driving, and im like ill get it, get it, but its too late.

so i had her the phone and shes like, call him back, and i hate fucking using her phone and having to be the messenger between 2 fucking convos, its like bitch call when u get home, its not even safe while driving. s

anyway she wanted me to call, and im like no, im not gunan do it, so she yells and grabs the phone <WHILE DRIVING> and is like FINE. so im like well if ur not gunan wait till u get home ill do it, and she hands it back to me and is still being bitchy.

as soon as i get the phone i meant to mutter under my breath "its not like i know how to use ur god damn fucking phone"

but for some reason, i got muttering under breath and yelling mixed up in my brain (no joke, i shit u not i had every intention to mutter it so she couldnt hear).

so i YELL super loud right at her "ITS NOT LIKE I KNOW HOW TO USE YOUR GOD DAMN FUCKING PHONE"

i love her though


___+
EVANSTEVE cliffnotes:
women + hormones = backhands, bruises, and cops

That's funny, I never cussed in front of my Mom much either especially the F word, but we were out driving one time and we saw a car out in the middle of a field. There was this guy walking back toward the road with blood all over him, I turned to my Mom and yelled, that motherfucker is hurt, the look in her eyes was priceless, I could tell she was more surprised by what I said than the guy. After a second of awkward silence, I said, well, he is.