I can't get into dating again...

[nefertiti]

I'm confused here, hr says she can't get into dating but has no problem letting some stranger from texas fly up to hit it?
that'd doesn't make sense to me

Look at it this way -

There are two factors.

1) Time - Someone who comes over, spends some time with her and Devin, and a little time with her and just her....well he's not taking her from her baby as long as a dinner date.

2) Men in my baby's life factor - kind of irrelevant at this point in his life, but keeping things casual with someone leaves her free to completely prioritize devin. I remember a few years back in some interview Angelina Jolie commented that she didn't date because she didn't want anyone in her kid's life who wouldn't be a stable fixture, but that she "took lovers."

Now - ideally, somewhere down the line heather meets some nice guy who's good to her and the little one, and they all become one big happy family. But since she's not currently willing to invest the time in finding said guy, why not still get her cookies? As long as she's being safe and staying emotionally uninvested, I don't see the crime.

 

[nimbus]

oooh deleted gambino post! 2/2/08; forgive but not forget

 

[nefertiti]

lol ut oh.

Was he being mean?

 

[silverstar1025]

oooh deleted gambino post! 2/2/08; forgive but not forget

lol

 

[hanselthecaretaker]

Look at it this way -

There are two factors.

1) Time - Someone who comes over, spends some time with her and Devin, and a little time with her and just her....well he's not taking her from her baby as long as a dinner date.

2) Men in my baby's life factor - kind of irrelevant at this point in his life, but keeping things casual with someone leaves her free to completely prioritize devin. I remember a few years back in some interview Angelina Jolie commented that she didn't date because she didn't want anyone in her kid's life who wouldn't be a stable fixture, but that she "took lovers."

Now - ideally, somewhere down the line heather meets some nice guy who's good to her and the little one, and they all become one big happy family. But since she's not currently willing to invest the time in finding said guy, why not still get her cookies? As long as she's being safe and staying emotionally uninvested, I don't see the crime.

Funny how we call them lovers when all it is is sex. No wonder the L word is such an issue in relationships.

 

[mountinman]

Sounds like you would be better off trying to date a gay guy.At least you could bitch about guys together and you would have so much more in common.

 

[JayC9]

I didnt read all the above shit but it is never a good idea to let your baby sleep with you.

dozing off and accidentally smothering the baby?

 

[Bikini Mod]

Damn, some of you guys are pretty freaking harsh.

The fact that she has her infant son in bed with her is not a problem. Why would it be? If she is comfortable with him there then... so? If the child is still there when he is 6 (unless it is a matter of economy which sometimes life has a way of doing that to people) then I would raise an eyebrow but even then, WTF am I to pass judgment if it is working FOR THEM?

As for her boinking another adult consentually.... so? She is a grown woman supporting herself and her son. She doesn't need to give explanations to anyone - period.

Ms Heatherrae - I can completely understand your feelings. You want a particular component of an adult relationship (sex, which is a very strong biological urge) but aren't ready to give/risk all of yourself and that is why you are opting for these types of infrequent situations. As for dating... what's the rush? No one WANTS to be alone forever, but your feelings of not wanting to give up any of your "mommy" time to opt for finding a perspective life partner are completely normal. So why fight them? Take this time to be YOU singular before you concentrate of finding a YOU plural.

And may I offer you a bit of unsolicited advice to avoid the BS on elite C&C? The Old Grump says, come to Texas and bring the baby. WE will gladly watch him while you go on your date here. We live in a suburb of Dallas. They have carseats for Harleys... right?

 

[mrplunkey]

dozing off and accidentally smothering the baby?

Nope, but its considered a "regressive" behavior by my childhood shrinks. Some believe it can hold them back developmentally.

 

[mrplunkey]

cool, so he flies up from Dallas, hits it, then flies back to his real girlfriend(s).... must be cool being an area code ho... And you wonder why you can't find a "non-dud" lmao .... nice pond you fish in

I just wouldn't advertise the long-distance hook-up. I can't imagine it helping her find a "non-dud", so why even mention it?

And yes, if I were in that situation even as a male I wouldn't mention it either. If you were looking for someone "quality", that person knowing you had a fuck-buddy sure can't help and would most likely hurt your search.