How Many of You Would Date a Person with a Kid?

[AGENT SHAGWELL]

Just curious, cause I tend to get overly attached to the guy I'm dating's family (case in point: I still go out to dinner frequently, with my ex of 2 year's, mother ). I don't think I'd be to down on that idea. I'd have to be really into the guy from the get go, then I'd still be hesitant. I probably wouldn't. Afraid of getting too attached to the kid, then breaking up and missing the kid.


Disclaimer: I'm only 24, I have no kids. Granted if your older and have kids, it's more of you options.

 

[WODIN]

If I were dating I would.

 

[Big Buck]

 

[Weapon X]

I just married the single mom I had been dating.
The situation is a little different, since I already have a (9-year-old) son with a previous wife, so I know my way around a 2.5-year old pretty well already, and knew what I was getting myself into.
Life is good.

 

[Gilbyag]

this is a tough one... only because if my pops had been the type not to date women w/kids I wouldnt be here. Then again Im not my pops, but I think it TOTALY depends on the chick. If (like your poll says) I were really into her, AND (very important) I had the chance to get to know HER FIRST. Then maybe. I say this cuz when I was ho'n round (last yr) I had 2 in my pack w/kids. One, I had the opportunity to get to know her 1st, and that couldve gone somewhere had she not been psycho. The other, threw them in face and said deal... I did for about 2 weeks. But she was look'n for a daddy for her kids and somone to support them, & her.

 

[velvett]

I have no problem dating someone with a child (children), it's the ex-wife I may or may not have a problem with...

 

[HappyScrappy]

does fucking supersizeme's mom in the ass count here?

 

[Weapon X]

Good point, velvett! Her ex has threatened to kill me!

 

[karson]

hey

I like to date women with kids because you know they put out and wont make you wear protection, nothing better than that....

 

[AGENT SHAGWELL]

Notice I said unless I was really into them. If so that rule could be broken . However, one rule I never would break....NEVER DATE A MARRIED MAN.....

 

[Big Buck]

Shags...



BTW: You got mail again....

 

[velvett]

However, one rule I never would break....NEVER DATE A MARRIED MAN.....

... and if I may add...

Make them prove it in writing...so me the paper honey, show me the papers!

 

[Weapon X]

Yeah, dgreenhill, male BBs never get stretch marks!

 

[Galen]

yea definitely. It pisses me off when i hear friends talking about a girl saying yea she's fine but she's got baggage. I always like to ask them if their parents viewed them as baggage but then again i love little people, if u don't i imagine u would view it different.

 

[Yellowbomber]

NEVER, don't like kids

 

[Big Buck]

Yeah, dgreenhill, male BBs never get stretch marks!

he, he, he.....gotta love the stretch marks...let's ya know you're growing!!!

 

[Yellowbomber]

 

[_Outlaw]

If someone wouldnt date because they have a child..I would have to say they are shallow as fuck!!

 

[AGENT SHAGWELL]

If someone wouldnt date because they have a child..I would have to say they are shallow as fuck!!

Shallow fuck here......would rather just gamble having my heart broken by one person, verses 2.

 

[live_large]

Well, a the moment I am dating a girl I meet from the gym (she works there). She is 3 years older than me and I found out she has a son. She was never married and hardly speaks to her sons father. So it is not bad at all, actually the kid is great and we still find time to hang out alone.

 

[Big Buck]

Shallow fuck here......would rather just gamble having my heart broken by one person, verses 2.

smart girl....

 

[Galen]

Don't agree with Shags but I respect her reasoning. I wouldn't feel comfortable spending time with someones kids unless we were serious.

 

[Hannibal]

smart girl....

true dat...don't get me wrong I'm not saying NEVER...but I would really have to see a future for us before I would consider it. Besides its only fair to the child too...imagine that your daddy is gone and then I come along and the kid gets attached to me. Then if things don't work out the kid is heartbroken again...kids shouldn't have to have their heartbroken...going through a divorce is rough enough to have it happen again.

Besides like Shags said I'm sure I would become attached to the child as well...and I can only handle one heartbreak at a time.

 

[May1010]

single moms = damaged goods

 

[Big Buck]

single moms = damaged goods

what a shrewd comment......u don't know their situation. Too many men don't want to accept the responsibility that comes w/ fatherhood!!!!

 

[Freak Show]

Tough call. Tried it twice. I'm a bit young myself (24) so I wasn't sure how to deal with it. They never pushed their kids on me, but with one girl we went out to dinner w/ her daughter. I just felt like everyone's eyes were on us all the time. I felt like takin my placement and getting her daughter's crayon and writing,"This is not my child, nor my wife." I was younger when this happened so I blame it on being ignorant.
I would TRY (operative word here is TRY) if I was diggin her.
On a side note, my mom once said something that kinda hit home. When I was dating this girl my ma said, "well Freak Show, if you choose to get married down the road and have kids of your own, you have to understand that they will be so much more important to us." In that case it would be almost unfair for her daughter. Not that my folks would mistreat her, but its different cuz I'm there son and these kids came from me. My family and I have always thought 'long term'.

 

[Imnotdutch]

homosexuals = waste of space

Yeah I'm joking but my comment makes about as much sense as yours.

single moms = damaged goods

 

[HappyScrappy]

man, I tried to be offensive and nobody says anything.
what the fuck... maybe I'm just on too many ignore lists.

 

[slash747]

No Way!

Not because the kid would be baggage but most people coming out of relationship with kids usually in my experience, have emotional baggage that they carry with them....

 

[manny78]

hummm maybe but there's always the ex in background and thats what could pisses me off ... so I prefer to avoid these relationship

 

[AGENT SHAGWELL]

I felt like takin my placement and getting her daughter's crayon and writing,"This is not my child, nor my wife."

heheheh....subtle....

 

[Hannibal]

what a shrewd comment......u don't know their situation. Too many men don't want to accept the responsibility that comes w/ fatherhood!!!!

HOLY SHIT!! Big Buck are you growin up right before my very eyes??!

Seriously man I agree..any fool with a dick can make a baby but it takes a real man to be a father and raise his child whether the parents are together or not

 

[Big Buck]

HOLY SHIT!! Big Buck are you growin up right before my very eyes??!

Seriously man I agree..any fool with a dick can make a baby but it takes a real man to be a father and raise his child whether the parents are together or not

I may be young, and a "playa" so to speak, but I'm there for my son!!!! Believe that!!!

 

[AGENT SHAGWELL]

I may be young, and a "playa" so to speak, but I'm there for my son!!!! Believe that!!!

respect the daddy

 

[Hannibal]

I may be young, and a "playa" so to speak, but I'm there for my son!!!! Believe that!!!

I believe, I believe...much respect for ya!!!!

 

[AGENT SHAGWELL]

By the way I wanted to vote for the MARINO choice but it wouldn't let me

 

[Bikini Mod]

Before I married and had children of my own, I would NEVER HAVE DATED A MAN WITH A CHILD. I knew then that I would not be willing to handle all of the complications that would arise from such a relationship. So to all those male and female alike who feel this way - that is cool. As long as everyone is upfront....DO NOT try and "get some" just to leave her/him hanging once you've gotten it. That just isn't fair.

On the other hand. Now being the single mother OF FOUR little girls with a psychopath for an ex.....you can imagine how my range of possible suitors is GREATLY DIMINISHED REGARDLESS of how tight my rear is or how smart/funny/etc I AM. But that is just fine by me.

First of all - I DON'T NEED TO DATE. I have to care for the physical and emotional needs of my children in addition to fighting the ex in and out of court for custody/harassment/support, and the list goes on. I am also busting my behind to support myself and my girls so that we will eventually get to the point where not only will we not need his money, but I relish the fantasy of him actually hauling me into court to ASK FOR MINE!!!

Secondly - on the rare occasions when I am in the presence of a male, I WOULD NOT EVEN REMOTELY CONSIDER HAVING A MY CHILDREN AROUND HIM. They have a father (Though he is a little fucked up these days, I can only hope that he will get some professional help - as have I - to resolve his issues before he permanently scars our girls.) who will financially support them right through college - PERIOD! I can and am earning my own money, so there is no need to mix the two. If I have an itch, I can scratch it quite effectively on my own time WITHOUT involving my children. They mean the world to me. NO MAN IS MORE IMPORTANT TO ME THAN THEM!

Actually, I consider myself to be at an advantage to others out there. I am upfront with EVERYONE about my sitch. Many run the other way soooooooo fast that it is pretty funny. Others may actually wait until I finish my sentence alerting them to my "reality". Regardless, I know that if a man does stay interested in me knowing all about me it will be because he is some kind of wonderful....the kind of man I deserve and who deserves me and, of course, this means that he will be a wonderful influence on my girls.

See? FOUR KIDS - weeds out bullshit.

Besides, I am not divorcing my current husband because I want a "new" one. I would rather be alone and happy than married and treated like shit. I am still trying to untie this knot! Why on earth would I even consider tieing another?...Hell I may never even pick that fucking rope up AGAIN!

 

[JohnnyO]

I have before, and would do it again.

 

[Hannibal]

I would rather be alone and happy than married and treated like shit.

Now that is the truth if I ever heard it...

"I'd rather be alone for the right reasons than with someone for the wrong ones."

Man I love reading your posts bkmom

 

[AGENT SHAGWELL]

Mad Props BKMOM....as usuall great post. I didn't know you got divorced! I'm sorry for the lost past, but congrats on you happiness filled futuer.

Being a child of 2 divorced parents....my mom came back to herself, and emensely happy person after the fact. It hurt as a kid, but I would change things for the world....I would have never known my mom if they were still together.

 

[Austin316]

Not at this point in my life, Id have to be in my upper 20's before Id consider it

 

[Bikini Mod]

Qutie

Being a child of 2 divorced parents....my mom came back to herself, and emensely happy person after the fact. It hurt as a kid, but I would change things for the world....I would have never known my mom if they were still together.

Your comments mean more to me than you will ever know.

Yes, sadly the battle has been raging since the beginning of the year (truthfully the marriage has been in trouble for about 3 years - SERIOUS trouble for the past two). The "trouble" exceeded serious and went to the point of no return somewhere between Christmas and Valentines - can't really pinpoint the exact time or event....only that is was a series of events each becoming more grave than the last and finally it became physical. The moment my head hit the ground ANY shred of affection/respect that I had had for my spouse left my mind, body, and soul FOREVER.

I have been giving little dribs and drabs here and there, some picked up on them others did not. To those who reached out to me - THANK YOU! Your help has made a world of difference for me. But I just haven't felt ready to disclose all of the info until recently...and even then, it was a total surprize to me.

For the longest time I felt a deep sense of shame about my situation - failed marriage and all.....I thought I would be letting the board members down somehow. But since my ex has pulled the stunts that he has....I feel no shame WHATSOEVER. Quite the contrary, the only shame I feel is that it took me THIS LONG TO WAKE THE FUCK UP!!!! My own girls' attitudes are like, "If you had called the police when daddy hit you then MAYBE this would be over by now?!"....from the mouths of babes - GOTTA LOVE 'EM.

 

[AGENT SHAGWELL]

BKMom....do whats best for you as a person. Best example you can give to your girls. And you being a happy person is the best parent you can be to your girls.

I hated my mom when my parents were together, she was a mean yelling lady that I did not know, nor want too. I was Daddy's girl cause he bought me what I wanted, and let me eat ice cream after every soccer game, and was my coach.

Total 360 after they divorced. I'm notw proudly a momma's girl...she's awesome....my dad sucks! (cheater)

 

[HappyScrappy]

Total 360 after they divorced. I'm notw proudly a momma's girl...she's awesome....my dad sucks! (cheater)

umm... I think you mean 180...

 

[Kryp2o]

Seriously man I agree..any fool with a dick can make a baby but it takes a real man to be a father and raise his child whether the parents are together or not

Agreed 100%.

Yes I would have no problem dating a women with a child . . . unless it was that same kid in the movie: "Problem Child."

 

[thefacelessballer]

at my age... i dont think i would...

 

[Jae]

My fiance did. My son was 14 months old when I met her and she just went mad for him. They are closer emotionally than he is with his birth mother. What kind of woman would take on a 26 year old with a 7 year old son? Well she did. My son is the primary beneficiary of her estate. He gets 65% (50% in a trust), I only get 30%. My son is now a multi-millionaire many times over and doesn't even know it. Now, if I had a child that I had abandoned, or only saw once every two weeks or so, I am sure she would have thought twice about the whole relationship.

 

[MattTheSkywalker]

I did it. It was tough, but rewarding. There were some problems, but never due to the child. I loved the child, as I loved his Mom.

 

[Stan O'Zolol]

I don't know...it would be kinda like throwing a hot dog down a hallway don't ya think?

 

[Mdguy]

I really wouldn't have a problem with it, but it would give me many more things to think about before I would enter into a relationship with that person..(i.e Will I be able to support the child(ren)?, Am I emotionally ready to be a parent?, Where is the ex and how involved are they? , etc.)

BIKINIMOM, I am really getting tired of you and your posts---because this is probably the 3rd time in recent memory I have had to reply to you that they are EXCELLENT and give you a *standing ovation*!!!!!

Keep it up!

 

[TxCollegeguy]

I have a date with a single mother in my future

 

[OMEGA]

My girlfreind s a single mother, her daughter is 9 .......it is proving to be a wonderful experience....

by the way I am 23 and my girlfreind is 31.

 

[OMEGA]

I did it. It was tough, but rewarding. There were some problems, but never due to the child. I loved the child, as I loved his Mom.

so what happenenned?

 

[Norman Bates]

I don´t want to be a father until i finished studying and have a real income.

 

[Kahn]

Omega, you revived a 9 month old post, if you want an answer, I suggest PMing him.

 

[Warik]

Would I date a woman with a kid? Only if the kid were mine.

No offense to anyone currently in that kind of relationship. I just can't imagine myself raising someone else's child.

-Warik

 

[Warik]

Omega, you revived a 9 month old post

I just noticed that after posting my reply. Damn old threads. =)

-Warik

 

[spookyghost]

beet this then guys

well i met and run away from the army with a girl a civvie girl she had 3 kids so i thought i wanted out the army so she put the idea of going awol in my head so i did it then 8 months later im stuck shes a lazy bitch i look after all her kids all 4 of them yeah thats right 4 the older boy lives with her sister the girl of 7 is thick as fuk realy dense then theres the other boy 4 hes got add a behavioral problem so now i cant work have to do everything in the house have no money of my own she has let herself go in a big way im tryin to encourage her to go to the gym but she cant be arsed ten i found out all the kidds have different dads all of them so any one in scotand gt any cash in hand sound work like on the door let me know as i want out of this i cant go back and face the music at camp i would get 6 months in nick honest uve never met a lazy women like this in your life the only reason im here is for her 2 year old hes wonderfull but they are all calling me dad its doing me head in help( this must be worth karmer)

 

[SDRaver]

I've dated women w/children in the past. There's things I always look for though when dating a single mom but this is just me:

-Do they introduce you to their kid too soon.
-Is she able to go out ANY night of the week.
-has no problem staying at your place because she always finds a babysitter.

From my experiecne these have always been RED FLAGS. Just went through a breakup with my ex-gf who has a daughter. I admire her so much because her daughter is her #1 priority as it should be. have no problem not being able to stay out late because of homework or her kid's gym class.
Once dated a women who had two son's but you'd never no it because she was never home. that didn't last long because I thought damn if she could treat her own flesh and blood that way then how would she treat me down the road.