Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below
napsgear
genezapharmateuticals
domestic-supply US-PHARMACIES UGL OZ
Raptor Labs UGFREAK OxygenPharm
napsgeargenezapharmateuticals domestic-supplyUS-PHARMACIES UGL OZUGFREAKRaptor LabsOxygenPharm

how honest are you...

S

snacky cake

Banned
about your faults. I vascillate between stages. I find that whenever I open up and share my vulnerabilities/fears/faults people use the information later in less than supportive/constructive ways. Then, I clam up with the next person. Then, it begins to feel dishonest and lacking intimacy.

What say you?

How honest is too honest?

When is too soon to "get real?"
 
I say:

Always be honest, and don't let (1) bad apple spoil the bunch.....

You are always nothing more than a moment away from the "right one"................(would hate to slight that one with former misgivings)
 
Humble Pride said:
I say:

Always be honest, and don't let (1) bad apple spoil the bunch.....

You are always nothing more than a moment away from the "right one"................(would hate to slight that one with former misgivings)
Click to expand...
okay, but there is a natural progression of things right. For example, I have a pretty "heavy" childhood. That isn't appropriate dinner conversation on a first date even if by some weird chance the conversation gets steered in that direction and the person comes right out and asks. Early on, people tend to discount others as "damaged" even if you are happy and well adjusted if you share too much too soon.

I don't do drugs/alcohol, but let's assume as a hypothetical I'm an alcoholic. You don't exactly post a single's ad saying, "Hi, I'm an alcoholic who will probably steal your money for booze." hahahaha.

On the other hand, I think lying about your pictures/age/occupation/marital status is a big big no no.

Where am I going with this? hmmmm...

Really the question is about how comfortable someone is with real intimacy, not just in romantic relationships but in everyday interactions and in platonic friendships, even.
 
I try to be who I am. I won't sway when confronted. But I always be up front and honest. Why not. But if a situation is a joking around situation, well that's different.

Why do you ask such question?
 
I "never" hide anything..........that way - I can devote 100% to my significant other and they know what to expect fro me.
"timing" of "when" to spill your most intimate guts is up to you, but when you do - a real man should be able to handle it, and should be able to recoup with some things of his own........
 
walliwalibus said:
I try to be who I am. I won't sway when confronted. But I always be up front and honest. Why not. But if a situation is a joking around situation, well that's different.

Why do you ask such question?
Click to expand...
I ask because it seems to recur VERY OFTEN with me that I'm torn about how much to reveal of myself. My nature is to share in order to feel intimately acquainted, but my experience is that people will more often than not judge you harshly when you do.

For example, everyone here knows about my son, knows what I do, has seen what I look like, even without makeup. I just like being real or I don't feel like anyone KNOWS me. Then, I often regret it because people use these things to label or to stereotype and I regret having shared them.

It happens in real life, too, with me. That was just one example.

what says the rest of EF?
 
Real quick I want to add this before I have to retire for the evening.

This is a subject close to my heart because I've learned a lot about it and me in the past couple years. I USED to have a hard time opening up because to do that also means being invested in others. It's easier not to be invested sometimes. Takes less time and you can be more selfish (fun, lol).

Now, I give friends and new people I meet subtle little clues into my life's challenges, my past, my dreams. Many times, this is all it takes for that person to open up to me a little bit too, sometimes a LOT! Then we have more in common and the more I share the more they open up the flood gates. It creates deeper relationships rather than surfacy "top this" relationships. I HATE those. They suck me dry even more than being invested.

Edited to add: I've learned the hard way to only give people information they can "handle" about me. If not, sometimes it can come back to bite you in the butt. More on that later too. I have experience there sadly.
 
Humble Pride said:
I "never" hide anything..........that way - I can devote 100% to my significant other and they know what to expect fro me.
"timing" of "when" to spill your most intimate guts is up to you, but when you do - a real man should be able to handle it, and should be able to recoup with some things of his own........
Click to expand...
yes, indeed.

I had a recent experience where someone really took things I shared with them about the past and turned it into a big mess.

Then, the weird thread tonight just sort of was disheartening.

It's very hard for me to just let my guard down sometimes.

The internet is easier.

woah, that was scarily honest...LOL.
 
snacky cake said:
yes, indeed.

I had a recent experience where someone really took things I shared with them about the past and turned it into a big mess.

Then, the weird thread tonight just sort of was disheartening.
It's very hard for me to just let my guard down sometimes.

The internet is easier.

woah, that was scarily honest...LOL.
Click to expand...


:( :rose:
 
curvymommy said:
Real quick I want to add this before I have to retire for the evening.

This is a subject close to my heart because I've learned a lot about it and me in the past couple years. I USED to have a hard time opening up because to do that also means being invested in others. It's easier not to be invested sometimes. Takes less time and you can be more selfish (fun, lol).

Now, I give friends and new people I meet subtle little clues into my life's challenges, my past, my dreams. Many times, this is all it takes for that person to open up to me a little bit too, sometimes a LOT! Then we have more in common and the more I share the more they open up the flood gates. It creates deeper relationships rather than surfacy "top this" relationships. I HATE those. They suck me dry even more than being invested.

Edited to add: I've learned the hard way to only give people information they can "handle" about me. If not, sometimes it can come back to bite you in the butt. More on that later too. I have experience there sadly.
Click to expand...
Exactly, CM. This is how I feel too. Unless we share the little foibles, the things that make us human, it just isn't fulfilling for me. And, if I can't trust that person not to throw that stuff back at me, I can't move forward, either.

I'll be interested to read how you know how much is too much for each person. I'm a bad guage of those things.

In real life, I'm much like on EF -- very polarizing. People either absolutely LOVE me or HATE me. People are never ambivalent about me...lol.
 
There's a answer to that, and I posted it in another thread. It's simple, Fuck 'em if they don't respect. People have your back here... I am sure. OMG (had to get it in). Just be yourself, and don't put on a act like half the people here do. So:

Is there a line? Only if you decide where it is, otherwise its open.
 
I dont think it would be any fun if I wasnt honest about everything and open to people. I was concerned about things when I first came, but now that I just hang out in chat with the rest of the fatties, theres nothing to worry about! :D
 
curvymommy said:
Real quick I want to add this before I have to retire for the evening.

This is a subject close to my heart because I've learned a lot about it and me in the past couple years. I USED to have a hard time opening up because to do that also means being invested in others. It's easier not to be invested sometimes. Takes less time and you can be more selfish (fun, lol).

Now, I give friends and new people I meet subtle little clues into my life's challenges, my past, my dreams. Many times, this is all it takes for that person to open up to me a little bit too, sometimes a LOT! Then we have more in common and the more I share the more they open up the flood gates. It creates deeper relationships rather than surfacy "top this" relationships. I HATE those. They suck me dry even more than being invested.

Edited to add: I've learned the hard way to only give people information they can "handle" about me. If not, sometimes it can come back to bite you in the butt. More on that later too. I have experience there sadly.
Click to expand...

Excellent post!
 
walliwalibus said:
There's a answer to that, and I posted it in another thread. It's simple, Fuck 'em if they don't respect. People have your back here... I am sure. OMG (had to get it in). Just be yourself, and don't put on a act like half the people here do. So:

Is there a line? Only if you decide where it is, otherwise its open.
Click to expand...
okay.

how about IRL? Same? More? Less?
 
We all have faults and those that we become intimate with over time will see our value despite them or they will simply move on.
There is no real good reason to take your faults, wrap a bright colored bow on them and present them with bells and whistles.

Just be yourself and the rest will follow.

I've said this before, but to love fully we have love someone for their imperfections before anything else.
 
velvett said:
We all have faults and those that we become intimate with over time will see our value despite them or they will simply move on.
There is no real good reason to take your faults, wrap a bright colored bow on them and present them with bells and whistles.

Just be yourself and the rest will follow.

I've said this before, but to love fully we have love someone for their imperfections before anything else.
Click to expand...
yes, excellent advice. Maybe I'm not being objective but I lately have felt like people have enjoyed IRL and otherwise to "bring me down a notch or two," as they say. Funny thing is, I don't need to be brought down a notch, I don't think. I don't think I'm all that great anyway. Just an average, happy, middle aged mommy trying to make a living. I don't get it. Do I come off as conceited that would give people the idea that they need to attack?

It makes me wonder.

I don't mean to sound like a martyr. I just don't get it.
 
chris302001 said:
When does the next semester in the Puddle Monkey School of Charm start?

I need to learn all your secrets!
Click to expand...

All my secrets are about to be released in a 4-disc set sold on a late night infomercial. Call within the first 10 minutes and receive free shipping!!!
 
snacky cake said:
yes, indeed.

I had a recent experience where someone really took things I shared with them about the past and turned it into a big mess.

Then, the weird thread tonight just sort of was disheartening.
Click to expand...

what weird thread?
link?
 
snacky cake said:
For example, everyone here knows about my son, knows what I do, has seen what I look like, even without makeup. I just like being real or I don't feel like anyone KNOWS me. Then, I often regret it because people use these things to label or to stereotype and I regret having shared them.

It happens in real life, too, with me. That was just one example.

what says the rest of EF?
Click to expand...


http://i34.tinypic.com/vxogu9.jpg
 
velvett said:
We all have faults and those that we become intimate with over time will see our value despite them or they will simply move on.
There is no real good reason to take your faults, wrap a bright colored bow on them and present them with bells and whistles.

Just be yourself and the rest will follow.
I've said this before, but to love fully we have love someone for their imperfections before anything else.
Click to expand...

Yes.
 
I am not totally honest

Only by witholding information , I'd never lie when asked a direct question, but I might ignore it.

Anytime I post something personal on here, I regret it.

I try to stay away from the computer while drinking.
 
cindylou said:
I am not totally honest

Only by witholding information , I'd never lie when asked a direct question, but I might ignore it.

Anytime I post something personal on here, I regret it.

I try to stay away from the computer while drinking.
Click to expand...

Well you won't have to worry about the walk of shame with a night on the computer!
 
Lies fuck you up yo... only truth survives in the end.

Without trust words become the hollow sound of a wooden gong. With trust, words become life itself.

Yeah, I got a little clarity in what I express, but I think I would lose it all if my shit got contaminated with lies.
I've read about gurus who were magnificent in their being, but once they got a huge following, ego shit took over and they started lying to peeps. Once this shit happened it ruined them immeasurably inner and outer.
I don't wanna be a guru, but I don't wanna be ruined neitha. :)
 
snacky cake said:
about your faults. I vascillate between stages. I find that whenever I open up and share my vulnerabilities/fears/faults people use the information later in less than supportive/constructive ways. Then, I clam up with the next person. Then, it begins to feel dishonest and lacking intimacy.

What say you?

How honest is too honest?

When is too soon to "get real?"
Click to expand...
Dude I didn't even read your intro on first pass.
So true, I can see shit totally from your point of view. Thing is what makes conversation fun It is not the communication that goes on, that is just information. Boring.... Its Expression, the conveying of emotions through language. It gets other peeps to share and open up.
This is the shit that moves, inspires, connects, and leads. This is what I dig about you. Keep doing what you are doing. Hell, I'm not christian, but the first thought that comes to mind is the saying the word came before the light. Its really a pretty transparent metaphor if you think bout it. I mean the word -vibration- e-motion precedes light, or vision, or thought.

Of course you need the union of both to be balanced, however you rockin out with your stories and openness fill this place with life. I dig your voice, and this you know.
Keep bringin it... :cool:
 
cindylou said:
I am not totally honest

Only by witholding information , I'd never lie when asked a direct question, but I might ignore it.
Click to expand...

+1 for lies of omission. I'm a rather private person, so if I don't know you terribly well and you ask what I believe is a personal question you likely will not get the unabridged truth. You'll get a redacted copy though. :)
 
JR76 said:
+1 for lies of omission. I'm a rather private person, so if I don't know you terribly well and you ask what I believe is a personal question you likely will not get the unabridged truth. You'll get a redacted copy though. :)
Click to expand...
K semantic combination x 2.
Good stuff...
Shit, bro, I just dig the overall attitude.
Style, funny, not to be trifled with.
The profuse mastery over several languages is impressive and you also have a musical proficiency that is enviable.
Man if I had that shit, I would be unstoppable... j/k
 
-Ariel- said:
K semantic combination x 2.
Good stuff...
Shit, bro, I just dig the overall attitude.
Style, funny, not to be trifled with.
The profuse mastery over several languages is impressive and you also have a musical proficiency that is enviable.
Man if I had that shit, I would be unstoppable... j/k
Click to expand...

Now I is blushing. ;)

You must spread some Karma around (ie give karma to other members too) before giving it to -Ariel- again.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

D
My pre-First Cycle Log
Replies
13
Views
2K
25homes
25homes
Hansky_26
Approved Log Rebuilding Lean Mass and Growing Log - Female
2
Replies
143
Views
5K
rizzlekdizzle
rizzlekdizzle
eazy_
Can You Test for Bodybuilding Genetics
Replies
0
Views
275
eazy_
eazy_
A
2026 Bulk Log
Replies
7
Views
444
Demon_throne
Demon_throne
4
FAKE Pfizer Genotropin Napsgear
Replies
16
Views
3K
jasonhill800
jasonhill800
Top Bottom