How Did It Get Decided that Women Get Half in a Divorce when the court is ran by men?

[Mandinka2]

Hi BMOM

Mandinka, don't you think if the guy had a hidden camera on his wife then he would have FOUND SOMETHING?

What if he put it up there and left it up there for a week AND FOUND NOTHING?

WHAT WOULD THAT MAKE HIM THEN?!

It would make him all of the following: Feel stupid , less suspicious, relieved that his wife loves&respects him, realize that maybe he is a fool and that he oughta just confront his wife and seek help.

What kind of a man puts a hidden camera on his wife in their own home? IT IS ILLEGAL IN MANY STATES![/B]

C'mon kid , we're all bodybuilders here,jaywalking,smoking in restaraunts and taking AS are illegal in many states.

If I am with a person who takes care of my home, my children, my business NEVER EVER questions a thing that I did, where I went I gave him shit about all the stuff that never was done, and NEVER EVER cared about what WAS DONE then I would shut the fuck up and thank my lucky stars - NOT INVENT SHIT TO FUCK THINGS UP![/B]

Ok , the guy was a jealous asshole , y'know we all have been jealous sometimes , I ain't sidin with him - hidden cameras and hittin on you is extreme but I have asked exes where they were , I have been faithful to women and so I needed to know that they were being faithful to me. I guess I'm old school.

You are very wrong when you say that I have issues just because I will not hesitate to point out that "poor men" aren't always the ones that get shafted as all of these threads would have you believe.[/B]

I have been a reader of your threads for a year and a half now, many comments of yours I have agreed with, I suppose I only really started to take issue with you from the VLC comments yesterday. No one questions that men always get the shitty end of the stick , that is not even up for debate but in a significant majority of cases the law and society sides with women.

How many threads have you seen me start that point out how much I hate men?[/B]

BKM , listen , I like you , but if I started a poll thread of "Does BKM in general like hate or revile men , how do you think you'd score?" , if you read my post again you will see that I said that I THINK that you've got issues with men , hate is too small a word to define what exactly. I studied philiosophy and psychology for two years if that makes you feel a little better. I wish for nothing more than you and your childrens' happiness.

I always say that no matter how much I personally have been screwed by SOME MEN that NOT ALL MEN ARE DOGS. Because this is what I truly believe.[/B]

But you have stated repeatedly on VLC's thread that ALL MEN lie when they say "I love you" just to prevent the woman cheating. Is that not warped in the light of the many posts made here , my own including . When your views do not conform to the objective evidence presented before you , you change those views , that is the essence of rationalism.When you cannot do so , you must question why you cannot.

And even though I personally have been screwed thus far by the divorce bullshit and had to sit by and watch the emotional BS my children have had to go through I STILL SAY THAT I BELIEVE IN LOVE AND MARRIAGE.[/B]

Please define "love" , one cannot love without sexual possession, I've known a million couples to try it and not one to succeed. My ex still tells me whenever she calls that she loves me but I believe that she has never felt love in her entire life for another.

My girls met my current boyfriend and had spent ONE DAY with him and they want me to marry him and for us to live in his country.[/B]

Your girls already sound like they might have inherited the intelligence of their mother.

They are with their father more than me because I work a lot of hours and because regardless of how much shit he gives me by trying in a futile attempt to take them from me I STILL SHARE.

Hell, they even want me to have a baby with my bf after we are married! (Sheesh, everybody has me married already! YIKES)


Could you please explain this to me? Because it doesn't seem to jive with your current assessment.[/B]

I don't really understand where the inconsistentcy lies , could you be more specific?

As for my comments about dating - THEY ARE ABOUT DATING. As far as I am concerned until a man is my fiance or is paying my bills, he has no business telling me where to go or what to do when I get there and I would treat him the same. So I don't see what the problem is. [/B]

"Paying my bills"! Do you really believe that shit , that marraige is a form of prostitution? I believe that selfish people (i.e. people who cannot seem to remain faithful) cause immense damage and hurt to others for little gain. I believe in fostering a society where caring , compassion and love (traditional definition) are seen as being worthwhile and worth fighting for , dating or otherwise. What is so special about the institution of marraige? When a man and woman are as one , are they not as close as they can possibly be in any case? Don't you know that the secret to happiness is to make others happy?

 

[Gemini_Man]

Re: Generally....

Many years ago when divorce was not so common, most men chose to divorce thier wives. As it was a partnership, all they had was divided equally. Man often had to pay alimony to keep the woman supported in the manner to which she had become accustomed.

Today, I think it's a farce. Over half of all marriages fail, and the woman knows that. Alimony has no place unless the man's bailing for another woman. Likewise, the only division of property should be on what was gained after they were married. Some women marry then later divorce and want half of everything.

Most women would get less if the man just died. Why they expect him to pay more in a divorce is beyond me.

So true! Too many women treat marriage like a money making business for themselves.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Listen Mandinka, you pick apart my every sentence, take everything and assign your own interpretation. If that is what you need to get you through and "be right" by all means, continue. Me, I could care less about being right.

Funny how when I put up the thread, "what if my kids hate my current beau?" EVERY SINGLE PERSON REPLIED THAT KIDS CAN SMELL BULLSHIT A MILE AWAY AND THERE IS A GOOD REASON WHY THEY MUST HATE HIM." I posed the question that way on purpose for two reasons.

A) I don't want people to know exactly what is going on so as not to skew their answers.

B) I don't let my children parent for me.

The reason that my girls want me so badly to have a life with this man is because he is genuinely a good man who makes me happy. That is only a SMALL PART. The other reason why they want us to be with him and not my husband is because thier father has only shown them hatred abusive behavior and though they love him because they are little and he is their only father THEY WANT DESPERATELY TO ESCAPE FROM THE INSANITY THAT HE HAS MADE OUR LIVES!

Hello, I don't need to have a psychology degree to see this.

What I am trying to figure is why other professsionals involved in my personal affairs want me to be in this situation also. Perhaps they see something that I don't. I don't know and I am done trying to figure it out.

Am I somewhat jaded? Well of course, that I would never deny. But for Goodness sake to say that I hate men? Anyone here or in real life (some of you know me both ways) KNOWS that that is so far from reality it is scary.

As for that crack about the intelligence of my children and me - that was totally uncalled for but coming from a man who would see nothing wrong with putting a hidden camera on his wife of over 10 years, who did EVERTYHING FOR THEM, never EVER made him think that the sun didn't rise and set on him and THIER FAMILY just "to see" if she was being faithful, I will consider the source.

Did I make a poor choice when I married my husband? NO DUH. I have never denied my role in the mess that I am currently entangled in. I was 21 years old and thought that I could love enough for the two of us. I busted my ass for us and was faithfull even in my dreams for over TWELVE YEARS - and it was easy!

He made all the money. I had none.

He came and went as he pleased. My every move was questioned even though I always had any number of children in tow.

AND I STILL TRIED TO MAKE IT WORK AND NEVER EVER FOR A SECOND QUESTIONED WHETHER OR NOT HE WAS FAITHFUL TO ME. WHY? BECAUSE IF I AM IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE AND I HAVE TO QUESTION THEIR FAITHFULNESS THEN I WOULD RATHER JUST NOT BE THERE.

Being old fashioned has ZERO to do with it. It is called being SECURE.

You people (and you know who you are) are funny. Any number of men come one here constantly berating women, saying they are all sluts, whores, gold-digging, lying bitches but when ONE WOMAN consistently stands up and says, "Ummmm sorry, but it ain't all that you say it is ALL THE TIME!" she hates men and is a whiny baby.

Hello - the last time I checked I ain't whinin' OR bitchin'... just can't stand all the female bashing because there are women that getted fucked just as much. We just don't start numerous threads about it daily hating on all men while our men-hating sisters stand around us in a circle jerk shouting, "FUCK THAT ASSHOLE."

As for VLC - What was it that I said that was so wrong? That unless a man OWNS ME - HE HAS NO BUSINESS TELLING ME SHIT?

Hello - it went BOTH WAYS! I don't own my man. I can't tell him shit! He wants to fucking go to IRAQ if the we go to war. Do you think I WANT HIM TO GO?!... AND HE DOESN'T HAVE TO GO. BUT HE JUST MAY ANYWAY!!! THE FUCKING RED CROSS IN A MUSLIM COUNTRY DURING WAR WITH GENERALLY CHRISTIAN NATIONS...

GUESS WHAT?! I CAN'T TELL HIM JACK SHIT BECAUSE THOUGH I LOVE HIM - I DON'T OWN HIM!

Sex is the very least of my concerns when I am in a committed relationship and I am truly sorry if you can not see past the end of your own penis to realize this.

 

[Mandinka2]

Ok BKM , let me explain somethin to ya: I quote you (you may notice that I am not now) because first of all your posts are long and multi-faceted and hence deserve a multi-faceted answer. Secondly I did it out of respect for you and did not mean it to cause offense although I am saddened that you have taken it this way. Ok , now onto the post....
Firstly if you "care less about being right" then you have no business posting , that is why (legitimate) people post - to help others see what is "right". If all your posts are simply an attempt at getting attention and validation then any issues you may have extend far beyond the relationship arena.
As you state yourself in your post, you write with a lot of subjectivity and hence you would benefit from an objective third party. That is what I tried to do earlier. I would suggest that the reasons why your daughter wish you to be with this man are mainly to with wishing to see their mother being happy.
I spent a good part of today looking over some of your previous posts and without doubt you have had a hard time of it , and shared a lot of personal information with people on the boards here. In the light of some of those things I understand that some of your comments regarding what is fidelity may arise from your own guilt. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that you need help, I do not wish to engage in a slanging match with you or denigrate you in any way.Good luck.Rob

 

[Bikini Mod]

My own guilt? Guilt about what?

Why is it so hard to believe that jealousy has no part in love? I need help because I don't have a jealous bone in my body? Never have, never will. This means that I need help?

Ok - if you say so then you are "right". See me, I'd rather be happy.

There is no mudslinging match here. And no, not everyone who posts does so because they want to be "right". Some of us post because we are offering a different point of view, no more and no less.

There is no right/wrong as truth is NOT ABSOLUTE.

 

[CYBERNIGG]

 

[Warik]

As far as I am concerned until a man is my fiance or is paying my bills, he has no business telling me where to go or what to do when I get there and I would treat him the same. So I don't see what the problem is.

The problem is that with that kind of attitude, no man with any degree of self-respect (at least any level of self-respect that I as a man would be proud to have) will ever want to be your fiance or pay your bills.

My girl and I are not engaged. I don't pay her bills. We've been together for over a year, so technically, by the standards you've outlined here, we are "dating."

So, I suppose that if I "really" loved her, it would be perfectly OK to go to lunch with another guy this Saturday when I will be out playing golf with my friends. Or perhaps that it would have been OK for her to be having sex with some guy (a different guy from this coming Saturday's guy, of course) while I was on vacation with my family this past weekend?

Please try to apply this logic to the world around you (around you, not in your head) and see if it still makes sense. Trust me, it doesn't. There is a name (actually, quite a few) for a woman who consorts with other men while she is seeing another. I don't think I need to specify it.

Why is it so hard to believe that jealousy has no part in love? I need help because I don't have a jealous bone in my body? Never have, never will. This means that I need help?

Did it ever occur to you that if there is a legitimate cause for jealousy then there is no love? I take it the boyfriend who leaves the cheating girlfriend never really loved her, eh? After all, if he really loved her he wouldn't be jealous of her having sex with other men.

There is no right/wrong as truth is NOT ABSOLUTE.

lol

Are you absolutely sure about that?

You're either alive or you're dead.

You're either beautiful or you're ugly.

You're either tall or you are short.

Something is either true or it is false.

Truth is absolute. There is a such thing as "right" and "wrong." Those who insist otherwise are usually guilty of "wrong," as you never see any virtuous people claiming that there's no such thing as right and wrong.

Welcome to bikinilogic, folks.

-Warik

 

[Mandinka2]

Sex is the very least of my concerns when I am in a committed relationship and I am truly sorry if you can not see past the end of your own penis to realize this.

Not an insult?

 

[-SD-]

There is no right/wrong as truth is NOT ABSOLUTE.

Did you ever tell that to your ex?

 

[Bikini Mod]

You know, I just typed a long post and my button hit a finger and it is *poof* gone.

You can all think what you like.

You can be right.

Those of you who honestly know me, know that none of what you see here has anything to do with reality.

Take it all as you will.

I have to go because I am saddened beyond words and none of you can understand.... maybe I will put up a thread about it later when I am less tired and my head isn't pounding.