How Did It Get Decided that Women Get Half in a Divorce when the court is ran by men?

[Bikini Mod]

On a side note... what does a GIRL'S virginity have to do with anything? Should not the man be a virgin as well? I mean, what is good for one, should be good for the other should it not? Surely you are not suggesting that the number of men a woman has or has not slept with has anything to do with the divorce rate. Are you?


As for dating - You are correct that we have VERY differing points of view. And yours works for you - COOL. Mine works for me. If my current beau were more geographically desirable I would not date other men at this point. I seldom date now even though I have more than my fair share of offers. As a matter of fact the dates that I have been on, the men knew upfront that I had a relationship though its future was uncertain because of the reasons that I listed so all that I was interested at that point would be friendship. There was no kissing, no sexual contact whatsoever. (See, I have more to offer a man than what is between my legs.) So, why is it innapropriate?

Honestly, though I enjoyed the company of those men, most of the time all I could think was, "This guy is attractive, successful, funny and very sweet... BUT HE IS NOT MY GUY." I email them and call them as they do me every now and then. If we have free time, we get together to do something. What is wrong with that?

I do not change my morals to "fit" the situation. I don't know where you came up with that.

Once I am in a committed relationship were we decide that we will do what we have to in order to become a family ( that is the reference that I made to a man "paying my bills") obviously I will not date. Until then, I will do as I please with my free time as I fully expect him to. I feel that we should both be free to explore interaction with others if we would like to. This will only reinforce whether or not we WANT to be together. It is called security and taking a careful approach to a situation where more lives will be affected than OUR OWN. MY CHILDREN ARE ALWAYS FIRST.

There was never any mention of sex - YOU mentioned sex. Just as you did murder or stealing or whatever deadly sin you want to insert.

See, unlike you, I am not interested in forcing my "right" morals on anybody else. I live by two simple creedos:

1. And do ye no harm.

2. Whatever energy you send out will be returned to you threefold.

What you decide to do with your life on your time is of no consequence to me unless you are hurting me or someone that I care for.

On the topic of cheating. I said it once and I will say it again. When one cheats they only cheat themselves. So now, why would I do such a thing TO ME?

I was faithfull to one man for 12+ years. What did it earn me? I can wave a big flag now that says regardless of the fact that I was faithful and NEVER EVER led my husband to believe otherwise HE STILL TREATED ME LIKE SHIT.

*thunderous applause*

The only important thing is that I KNOW that I was faithful to my children. THAT MEANS SOMETHING - PERIOD.

I have introduced my current bf to my girls. They want me to marry him. I would like to marry him. I am certain that he would like nothing more than for us to be a REAL family. Though I don't know what will happen between us - I WILL NOT CHEAT ON MY CHILDREN. This has almost nothing to do with a man and EVERYTHING TO DO WITH MY GIRLS. See I have the parent/child thing in check. But thank you for your concern. It is appreciated.

 

[Warik]

On a side note... what does a GIRL'S virginity have to do with anything? Should not the man be a virgin as well? I mean, what is good for one, should be good for the other should it not? Surely you are not suggesting that the number of men a woman has or has not slept with has anything to do with the divorce rate. Are you?

Not the number specifically. I just think a woman (and a man) who practiced such behavior prior to wedlock are more likely candidates for a long term marriage than those who slept around in their youth. Do you disagree?

And no I'm not suggesting that men find themselves up to their knees is whores while women stay home and behave themselves at all. Most guys I know who practiced that kind of behavior already have kids.

As a matter of fact the dates that I have been on, the men knew upfront that I had a relationship though its future was uncertain because of the reasons that I listed so all that I was interested at that point would be friendship. There was no kissing, no sexual contact whatsoever. (See, I have more to offer a man than what is between my legs.) So, why is it innapropriate?

That's not really my idea of a date then. The few times I've dated girls prior to entering this relationship was under the premise of "I like you and thus I am buying you dinner and taking you to a movie" not "hey you seem like a nice person so I want to become buddy-buddy with you and take you out all the time and pay for your stuff."

Honestly, though I enjoyed the company of those men, most of the time all I could think was, "This guy is attractive, successful, funny and very sweet... BUT HE IS NOT MY GUY." I email them and call them as they do me every now and then. If we have free time, we get together to do something. What is wrong with that?

Honestly? The fact that I don't agree with it. Don't get me wrong - you're free to do whatever you wish as long as you aren't breaking any laws. That's just not something I would do to my girl or would like her to do to me. Why would she need another man's company if she has mine? Your situation is different since from my understanding you and the doc' aren't able to see each other very often, but then again I was generalizing.

See, unlike you, I am not interested in forcing my "right" morals on anybody else.

Actually I was just killing some time between compilations of my program code and uploads. It would be nice if everybody said "hey Warik's morality is superior to ours" and followed me off the ends of the Earth if I wanted to take them there, but that's not going to happen. I'll be just as happy if you agree + listen to me as I would be if you thought every word I said was BS and ignored me. Why? Because whatever you do won't directly affect me.

On the topic of cheating. I said it once and I will say it again. When one cheats they only cheat themselves. So now, why would I do such a thing TO ME?

I disagree. You only cheat yourself if you get caught and face negative consequences for it. Until then you have a jolly old time and there's only one person you'd really be hurting.

But thank you for your concern. It is appreciated.

You're welcome. =)

-Warik

 

[Bikini Mod]

I disagree. You only cheat yourself if you get caught and face negative consequences for it. Until then you have a jolly old time and there's only one person you'd really be hurting.


-Warik

WRONG - If someone can cheat and live with themselves regardless of whether or not they get caught then there is something inherently wrong with them. THEY LACK A CONSCIENSE. Just as a man who can put a camera on his wife and act as if everything is NORMAL for a week until she accidentally discovers it one day. HOW DO YOU THINK THAT MADE THE WIFE FEEL?

By the virtue of this thinking (and yes, we are talking about ONLY ME), as far as I am concerned the trust that I afforded my husband for over 12 years was INSTANTLY broken just as badly as if I had walked in on him having sex with another woman.

I don't try to do the right thing (for me) because I am afraid I'll get caught and pay the consequences. This IMHO doesn't really apply to an individual past the age of 2/3. I want my children to do two things:

Do no harm to themselves or others.

Try to send positive energy with every thought and act.

Therefore they will have to THINK before they act. If they can honestly surmise that cheating in any form (whether it is a sex act or on a college entrance exam) will not harm themselves or anybody else and what they are engaging in is NOT NEGATIVE to themselves or anyone else then they can do it.

Does it sound like cheating would fall into either of those categories?

I don't think so. But I am sure that you will tear me to shreds and prove me wrong just as you have so clearly done already.

And as far as your concept of dating and mine, again, these gentlemen know the WHOLE TRUTH about me upfront. They also know that I have a very limited amount of time and money as the majority of it will go to my children. So if they want to take me to dinner or a movie then THEY KNOW they will pay. I try to make up for it with other acts of kindness like baking cookies or whatever. AND WE ARE JUST FRIENDS... if any of those relationships ever develops into something more than I will most certainly end one before I begin another as it would be neither fair to me, the guy, or MY guy. We are all adults. I treat everyone the way that I like to be treated, with kindness and respect.

You are obviously at a very different stage of life than I am. One is no better than the other - they are merely different.