How Did It Get Decided that Women Get Half in a Divorce when the court is ran by men?

[Lumberg]

Was I the one who started bitching about ME and how unfair it is TO ME?

You didn't start it, but you sure are doing it NOW.

 

[Bikini Mod]

You didn't start it, but you sure are doing it NOW.

No, no baby... not bitching. Just informing. There is a difference.

As for child support and custody. I agree.... whether a man pays child support OR NOT he should NEVER be kept from his children unless, of course, he is abusive. Then there is no court in the land that would find my children PERIOD.

Any woman who keeps her children from their father is cruel to the children and incredibly stupid to boot. All she does is make a JACKASS into a martyr. Children are not puppies. It doesn't take them long to figure out who is treating them as such.

If he is a good guy then there is no need to keep the children from their father and any woman who would do this JUST TO FUCK ON THE MAN should be beaten senseless.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Ahh... "you don't know what you're talking about" - the cop-out of the century.

Here's what I'm talking about:

1) I'm under the impression that you believe that faithfulness is not a requirement until engagement/the paying of bills. Two people who are "dating," regardless of the length of their relationship, are free to have sex and consort with others as much as they please.

You are under the wrong impression. You are the one who had a girl having lunch with a guy and having sex with him in the same sentence, not me.

2) I'm also under the impression that you believe there's no such thing as right and wrong. Murder is "wrong" but you can twist it to be right. Cheating is "wrong" but you can twist it to be white. There are no absolutes in life.

Again, you are wrong. I am talking about two different individual's viewing the same situation and having two completely different opinions. They BOTH saw THE EXACT SAME THING YET GIVE TWO DIFFERENT STORIES. WHO IS RIGHT AND WHO IS WRONG? And yes, there are times when murder may not be RIGHT but it is inevitable or at least acceptable. So please don't go there. As for cheating. When one cheats they only cheat themselves. I though I made this clear. I guess not. My bad.

3) Finally, I'm under the impression that you believe that a man who lets a woman walk all over him is "secure" and that a man who demands respect from such a woman is not "secure," even though 40,000 years of human history says otherwise.

Who is talking about someone walking all over someone? I am talking about trust and security. Are you saying that just because I never once went through my husband's wallet or checked the bank deposit reciepts against his work ticket stubs (he kept meticulous records) "just to make sure" because I CHOSE TO TRUST HIM that I was stupid? For all I knew he could have had an entire other family on the other side of town. He came and went as he pleased. He controlled ALL THE MONEY and I never questioned it. Why? Because I married him... I trusted him. It trusted that BECAUSE HE PROMISED TO LOVE US that he would never EVER do anything that would hurt us when I or the children were not present.

My only mistake was that I did not DEMAND the same respect from the beginning.

Again - MY BAD.

Putting a camera on your wife of over ten years who is the mother of your four children who ate, slept and breathed those children, you and your home and business is not something a NORMAL person does "just to see". It is what a sick and tortured individual does when he creates scenarios in his head as to why it is that his wife is SUDDENLY (took about 3 years or so) growing a backbone after all these years and actually telling him that if he doesn't get some professional help for his mental illness - SHE WILL KICK HIM THE FUCK OUT.

See, my dear, it is easier to point the finger at someone else and BLAME THEM for our shortcomings than to look deep within ourselves and accept personal responsibility for our own behavior.

As I said before, welcome to bikinilogic. If I'm wrong at all, please let me know why because I have no idea what I'm talking about and you do.

-Warik

You were saying?

 

[Bikini Mod]

Ahh... "you don't know what you're talking about" - the cop-out of the century.

Here's what I'm talking about:

1) I'm under the impression that you believe that faithfulness is not a requirement until engagement/the paying of bills. Two people who are "dating," regardless of the length of their relationship, are free to have sex and consort with others as much as they please.

2) I'm also under the impression that you believe there's no such thing as right and wrong. Murder is "wrong" but you can twist it to be right. Cheating is "wrong" but you can twist it to be white. There are no absolutes in life.

3) Finally, I'm under the impression that you believe that a man who lets a woman walk all over him is "secure" and that a man who demands respect from such a woman is not "secure," even though 40,000 years of human history says otherwise.

As I said before, welcome to bikinilogic. If I'm wrong at all, please let me know why because I have no idea what I'm talking about and you do.

-Warik

Warik you have a lot of nerve sitting on your high horse on judgment about issues that you know nothing.

I am actually pleased that your parents raised you with such high self esteem that you would NEVER allow yourself to be in a verbally abusive and controlling relationship. And I am not being remotely sarcastic about that. I wish that I could be as non-understanding as you.... but I, like many other women sadly, can not be.

You find it hard to believe that a man could just all of the sudden "snap" one night? That is too bad. Because there are many others who can. Well what did she do to make him snap?

SHE GREW A BACK BONE AND STOOD UP FOR HERSELF FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 12 YEARS!

See guys who are controlling and verbally abusive tend to get physical when a woman who they have successfully controlled for thier entire relationship all of the sudden stands up for herself.

Also, I was not aware that you or any one else at elite were judges in a court of law. I have been to court TWICE with my husband... why? BECAUSE HE ASKED FOR IT! Both times I won hands down without a single shred of evidence. It was MY WORD against HIS.

Do you have any idea how difficult it is for someone to obtain a FINAL PROTECTION ORDER in the midst of a divorce without ANY PROOF? I am not talking restraining order - I AM TALKING FINAL ORDER OF PROTECTION.

And like AN IDIOT I dropped it a few months later because I didn't want to fight, I just wanted a divorce. I didn't want to hurt the children and I wanted us to be able to move on.

THE COURTS TOOK FULL CUSTODY FROM HIM AN HE WAS ONLY ALLOWED TO SEE THEM ONE DAY A WEEK FOR SEVEN HOURS.

I said, "Come get them Friday and bring them back Sunday night."

THE COURTS AWARDE ME FULL PHYSICAL CUSTODY AND ALLOWED HIM ONLY LIBERAL VISITATION.

I SHARED JOINTLY WILLINGLY. As a matter of fact because I work so often they are in his custody more than mine. But of course, he forgot to mention how much they are with PAID SITTERS when they are on "his time" without ringing my phone to see if I can "watch" my own kids. When they are with me - THEY ARE WITH ME!

This is no court and you are no one... I am trying to figure out why I even bother. You seem to know so damned much. How? Personal experience?

I feel for anyone MAN OR WOMAN (and I know plenty of very decent fathers who have been raked over the coals) who gets shafted in these situations, but THE ONLY ONES WHO TRULY SUFFER ARE THE CHILDREN.

You can say whatever you want.... yea, you are sure giving me a "work over".

What you fail to realize is that there is even some bogus judgement against me (won BY DEFAULT) that I can't discuss this shit on the internet! Yea, by me bickering back and forth, my husband and whoever his little "watchdogs" are are at this moment in time printing this NONSENSE shit out and just allowing more FODDER for the court room. KA -CHING I think I just heard more money going into my husband's attorney's pocket.

Thanx Warik - YOU SURE SHOWED ME.

And as for my personal feelings today... You can be very cruel and unfeeling. You say whatever you want because YOU are not affected. You live in an ivory tower and know everything.

I sincerely hope that you are still in that ivory tower 10/15 years from now.

Again, no sarcasm AT ALL.

 

[Warik]

I said:

"1) I'm under the impression that you believe that faithfulness is not a requirement until engagement/the paying of bills. Two people who are "dating," regardless of the length of their relationship, are free to have sex and consort with others as much as they please. "

You said: "You are under the wrong impression."

But you first said: "As for my comments about dating - THEY ARE ABOUT DATING. As far as I am concerned until a man is my fiance or is paying my bills, he has no business telling me where to go or what to do when I get there and I would treat him the same. So I don't see what the problem is."

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..............

I said: "2) I'm also under the impression that you believe there's no such thing as right and wrong. Murder is "wrong" but you can twist it to be right. Cheating is "wrong" but you can twist it to be white. There are no absolutes in life."

You said: "Again, you are wrong. I am talking about two different individual's viewing the same situation and having two completely different opinions."

But you first said: "There is no right/wrong as truth is NOT ABSOLUTE."

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..........

I said: "3) Finally, I'm under the impression that you believe that a man who lets a woman walk all over him is "secure" and that a man who demands respect from such a woman is not "secure," even though 40,000 years of human history says otherwise."

And then you answered a completely different question. Let me break it down:

Guy A is dating Girl A.

Girl A cheats on Guy A with Guy B.

bikinimom's world: "Well if Guy A really loves Girl A then he shouldn't be jealous. If he makes a big deal out of it then it's only showing that he's not secure with himself. He's not paying her bills or anything. Who does he think he is?"

The rest of the world: "And he's still with her? That's no man. That's a pathetic excuse for a human being. He has no self-respect."

See, my dear, it is easier to point the finger at someone else and BLAME THEM for our shortcomings than to look deep within ourselves and accept personal responsibility for our own behavior.

Yeah, but then you turn around and contribute to this 40 page thread insisting in one breath that you're right and then insisting in the other breath that there's no such thing as right and wrong.

Nice.

Question: According to my most recent knowledge of your employment (dancer, right?), you don't work somewhere with Internet access. So, you must be home or at a library or something. Shouldn't you be working? Just curious.

-Warik

 

[Bikini Mod]

I'd like to see as well FreakMonster. I have my own opinion in the matter but I choose not to express it because I'm sure a 20 page essay will follow. I think we're not hearing the whole story.

I just find it difficult to believe that a woman can be faithful to her husband for (10,12,30? I dunno) years and suddenly do a 180 say "fuck indiscriminately unless you're married. it's perfectly OK" - just like I find it difficult to believe that a man can be a great husband (or so I'm assuming, since she/he didn't leave him/her earlier) for (10,12,30? minus 1 second) years and then suddenly do a 180 and turn into a raging woman-beater psychopath.

Something is not being told here, and that's OK since it's really none of our business unless she chooses to make it our business, but I also don't like the "my way is how it is and I can't logically reason why - it just is" attitude present in this thread.

OK, you believe all the crap you just said. Why? Reason it out. Stop speaking in 1,000 word riddles and bringing in irrelevant anecdotes. Your man wants to go to Iraq and you won't try to stop him? OK... that's great, now consider how the rest of the world works. If I wanted to go write programs on the frontline in Iraq I would damn sure expect my girlfriend to object, as would probably any other man on here, and I'd be quite the asshole to ignore her.

-Warik

First off Doll baby - I NEVER said any of what you just said. That came out of YOUR MOUTH - NOT MINE.

As for the last paragraph you are an imbecile. He does not right programs he is a SURGEON who works for the Red Cross. Did the thought ever occur to you that he may just be getting pressure because he does not WANT TO continue to do this type of work any longer but he is very happy and pleased with other facets of his position? So now he might be faced with the decision of having to end a career that he worked very hard and is quite deserving of because he may die or because he may risk losing ME?

Did the thought also ever occur to you that I am mature enough to know that NO ONE can control another and we all must make our own decisions in life?

Do you think that we are at a point in our relationship that we must now decide whether to even TRY to take an incredible leap of faith that involves FOUR INNOCENT CHILDREN?

He is there - I am here. One of us must move eventually.

That means that either he will have to give up the career that he worked so hard to build (I can give you a detailed account of what he has accomplished. He is solely responsible for not only keeping a very large rehabilitative hospital in France open, but within 4 months of his tenure he had it full to capacity and only 3 years later received many millions of Euros to not only REBUILD that hospital but another as well) and move to the US (yes, his english is very good but not good enough to function in an administrative capacity) or I will have to move there with my children, thus they will not be able to see thier father regularly.

I always thought that you were arrogant but I never EVER thought that you were just plain old mean.

I hope that your life will always be as uncomplicated as it is now.

Again - zero hint of sarcasm because even though you seem to enjoy "cutting me to ribbons" (not) I still only wish for your happiness.

Why? Because that is WHO I AM.

 

[Bikini Mod]

I said:

"1) I'm under the impression that you believe that faithfulness is not a requirement until engagement/the paying of bills. Two people who are "dating," regardless of the length of their relationship, are free to have sex and consort with others as much as they please. "

You said: "You are under the wrong impression."

But you first said: "As for my comments about dating - THEY ARE ABOUT DATING. As far as I am concerned until a man is my fiance or is paying my bills, he has no business telling me where to go or what to do when I get there and I would treat him the same. So I don't see what the problem is."

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..............

I said: "2) I'm also under the impression that you believe there's no such thing as right and wrong. Murder is "wrong" but you can twist it to be right. Cheating is "wrong" but you can twist it to be white. There are no absolutes in life."

You said: "Again, you are wrong. I am talking about two different individual's viewing the same situation and having two completely different opinions."

But you first said: "There is no right/wrong as truth is NOT ABSOLUTE."

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..........

I said: "3) Finally, I'm under the impression that you believe that a man who lets a woman walk all over him is "secure" and that a man who demands respect from such a woman is not "secure," even though 40,000 years of human history says otherwise."

And then you answered a completely different question. Let me break it down:

Guy A is dating Girl A.

Girl A cheats on Guy A with Guy B.

bikinimom's world: "Well if Guy A really loves Girl A then he shouldn't be jealous. If he makes a big deal out of it then it's only showing that he's not secure with himself. He's not paying her bills or anything. Who does he think he is?"

The rest of the world: "And he's still with her? That's no man. That's a pathetic excuse for a human being. He has no self-respect."



Yeah, but then you turn around and contribute to this 40 page thread insisting in one breath that you're right and then insisting in the other breath that there's no such thing as right and wrong.

Nice.

Question: According to my most recent knowledge of your employment (dancer, right?), you don't work somewhere with Internet access. So, you must be home or at a library or something. Shouldn't you be working? Just curious.

-Warik

I never said any of that.... YOU DID.

You and I have a very different view of dating and sex and commitment. I am bored with this. You view it your way and I view it mine. Suffice it to say that because I have a boyfriend that does not meant that lunch with another means SEX - YOU SAID THAT.

And I worked until 3AM last night. Now my children are at CCD. I never work on Mondays and Wednesdays because those are the days that I have my girls.

But I am sure that you will be pleased to know that I will work 3 shifts back to back beginning Friday at 3PM. I will barely eat or sleep until about 3AM Saturday night. Does that please you?

 

[Warik]

This is fun.

Here we go.

First, I didn't say he wrote programs. I write programs. It's an analogy. www.webster.com.

Second, I'm not "plain old mean" either. We just see things differently. I seem to think that you are faced with many complicated situations and adjust your beliefs/opinions accordingly instead of adjusting your situation to match your beliefs. I highly doubt that you took on this attitude overnight. Morals and beliefs take years to develop and are hard to change once they become strong.

When you try to please everybody the only person you don't end up pleasing is yourself. Try to remember that. I haven't had much experience with it myself, but I know several people older than you who have and they would surely vouch for its validity.

Also, I didn't say that lunch = sex. Stealing and killing are both crimes, aren't they? But stealing does not = killing.

Having lunch with another man in the form of a date is something I would find inappropriate, as is having sex with another man. Come on... surely you didn't think that I said that lunch = sex. If so, I've probably had more orgies than all the porno people combined - with some superhuman endurance to boot.

Let's see... what else - ah. I was not aware of these details of your work schedule. Of course I do not take pleasure in your working 2 or 3 or 10 back to back shifts.

I think the whole point of this discussion got lost in 10 pages of arguing.

The point I'm trying to make is that I think you're wrong in your views of dating, sex, and commitment. No, I'm not saying that I disagree with you - I'm saying that your view is inaccurate, incorrect, etc... The divorce rate used to be substantially lower than it is today. The overall attitude towards dating and sex used to be much different than it is today.

Finding a girl who wasn't a virgin was peculiar, yet now girls make no attempt to hide that they've been with more guys than they can count on one hand. What's the record today for the youngest age a girl has lost her virginity? If it ends in "-teen," then that explains a lot.

I doubt you would preach that same behavior to your daughters, but if you do, I sure hope they end up with a man who won't take advantage of that kind of attitude.

-Warik

 

[Bikini Mod]

You are right Warik.... about it all.

 

[Warik]

Yeesh... finally. My work here is done.

-Warik