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hooooooooooooooooly sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet! internet dating is not teh suck!

puddlemonkey

thou shalt not shill
EF VIP
So out of boredom the other day I signed up for a little internet dating. I threw down some witty one liners in my profile, couple pics, mentioned my age and the fact that I've never been married, am kidless, etc., and now I've got pretty much every woman within a 50 mile radius all up in my grill! They're like vultures!!! Are all single women my age this desperate? I'm use to dealing with the youngens, 21-24, and not the 28-34 age group. How am I, as a guy, not suppose to take FULL advantage of this? :devil:
 
be the vulture...yet act as the prey :evil:
 
Learn you have young padawahn. Strong the force is. Have sex you must.

PuddleMonkey said:
So out of boredom the other day I signed up for a little internet dating. I threw down some witty one liners in my profile, couple pics, mentioned my age and the fact that I've never been married, am kidless, etc., and now I've got pretty much every woman within a 50 mile radius all up in my grill! They're like vultures!!! Are all single women my age this desperate? I'm use to dealing with the youngens, 21-24, and not the 28-34 age group. How am I, as a guy, not suppose to take FULL advantage of this? :devil:
 
SaladFork said:
I lasted 1 day on Match.com... Match is 95% fat bitches.


I'm not on match, but I've already gotten some of those. You can always tell though, they'll post nothing more than a head shot, and they are holding the camera high to hide the extra chins. Smoke and mirrors baby, smoke and mirrors.
 
lol!!! I have the same problem because I look so young I always date younger womenz so I guess if I went online that may happen too but you have the never married and no kids going for you until you tell them that you never want kids and hate them. You put a real pic or a monkey one? lol
 
Beachboy6294 said:
lol!!! I have the same problem because I look so young I always date younger womenz so I guess if I went online that may happen too but you have the never married and no kids going for you until you tell them that you never want kids and hate them. You put a real pic or a monkey one? lol


See puddles would prolly use that to his benefit... girl starts getting to clingy... he'll just tell em... "I don't want kids... If you get preggers u're going to the clinic.... and it wouldn't be the first time."


I bet he left his several visits to the baby removal clinic off his profile.
 
PuddleMonkey said:
So out of boredom the other day I signed up for a little internet dating. I threw down some witty one liners in my profile, couple pics, mentioned my age and the fact that I've never been married, am kidless, etc., and now I've got pretty much every woman within a 50 mile radius all up in my grill! They're like vultures!!! Are all single women my age this desperate? I'm use to dealing with the youngens, 21-24, and not the 28-34 age group. How am I, as a guy, not suppose to take FULL advantage of this? :devil:

100 times more likely to get "accidently" knocked up!!!

Their clock is ticking, or they need to secure someone to pay for their current "accidents".
 
I still get messages from men and women on a nudist website I put a profile on last year.

Thing is, I don't have a picture, nor do I have most of the profile info filled in. No age, no body type, no height, no weight...

I still get messages from people wanting to hook up. I guess nudists are overly horny all day long.
 
all the whey said:
100 times more likely to get "accidently" knocked up!!!

Their clock is ticking, or they need to secure someone to pay for their current "accidents".

lololololoololloo
 
AAP said:
I still get messages from men and women on a nudist website I put a profile on last year.

Thing is, I don't have a picture, nor do I have most of the profile info filled in. No age, no body type, no height, no weight...

I still get messages from people wanting to hook up. I guess nudists are overly horny all day long.

Very_Funny_Face.jpg
 
Internet dating should just be called internet fucking, cuz thats what it really is. It's meeting chicks in a bar, without the smoke filled....but still the alcohol since a lot of people still lie.
 
Beachboy6294 said:
You put a real pic or a monkey one? lol


lol 3 actual pics. I didn't use puddlemonkey as a name, last thing I need is them google searching me and ending up here on EF. Me kno dummah!
 
PuddleMonkey said:
lol 3 actual pics. I didn't use puddlemonkey as a name, last thing I need is them google searching me and ending up here on EF. Me kno dummah!
Yes that would suck!! I don't think I ever saw a real pic

Heather- what kind of pie?
 
PuddleMonkey said:
So far its been about a 50% cute rate. I have 20+ message I have to respond to already. I deleted a few last night.
Out of that 20, there has to be one thats enticing... i mean one that you look at and think that there's possibility... I dunno why you left the younger demograph... my so is 23, but I dig older women too. I know millions would kill to face the dilemma in front of you :chomp:
Whats the order your going to date them in to. hottest on down, personality fits, freakiest,location... just curious...
 
I went out on a date with a 24yo girl I meet online a few months ago... DISASTER!!!

Nothing worst that seeing a semi cute 24yo girl reach over the table and you see arm flab. Then to hear "So you workout mass? I never plan on working out." Date ended right there... CHECK PLEASE!
 
SaladFork said:
I went out on a date with a 24yo girl I meet online a few months ago... DISASTER!!!

Nothing worst that seeing a semi cute 24yo girl reach over the table and you see arm flab. Then to hear "So you workout mass? I never plan on working out." Date ended right there... CHECK PLEASE!
yummy, arm flab
 
SaladFork said:
I went out on a date with a 24yo girl I meet online a few months ago... DISASTER!!!

Nothing worst that seeing a semi cute 24yo girl reach over the table and you see arm flab. Then to hear "So you workout mass? I never plan on working out." Date ended right there... CHECK PLEASE!
Damn that must have really sucked!
 
Beachboy6294 said:
Damn that must have really sucked!

She was trying to talk to me about investing... I was like WTF your 24 your foot should be rubbin my cawl under the table while you stroke my 34 yo ego...
 
SaladFork said:
She was trying to talk to me about investing... I was like WTF your 24 your foot should be rubbin my cawl under the table while you stroke my 34 yo ego...
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
 
Trying to dig up a picture of this steriod chick I also went on a date with... Was going good untill she told me her EX made her take tren lol... Then she gave me some shitty advice about PCT. Said, go off the test, do 10 days of clomid then jump on tren only. I WAS LIKE WTF!!! I think she wanted to do me in da butt with her clit.
 
SaladFork said:
She was trying to talk to me about investing... I was like WTF your 24 your foot should be rubbin my cawl under the table while you stroke my 34 yo ego...
LMAO!!!! Damn bro and then another one on tren? lol

Damn the weather is bad out here the Sat is going in and out on the tv so I doubt the pc keeps going much more!
 
SaladFork said:
Trying to dig up a picture of this steriod chick I also went on a date with... Was going good untill she told me her EX made her take trenbolone lol... Then she gave me some shitty advice about PCT - post cycle therapy - - post cycle therapy - . Said, go off the test, do 10 days of clomid then jump on trenbolone only. I WAS LIKE WTF!!! I think she wanted to do me in da butt with her clit.
chic on trenbolone...lol.. dude, 24 year old arm flab, then chic on trenbolone, that is so much funnier than deuce bigalow... especially chic on trenbolone, thats not an easy demograph to fit in... very narrow niche :chomp:
 
SaladFork said:
Trying to dig up a picture of this steriod chick I also went on a date with... Was going good untill she told me her EX made her take tren lol... Then she gave me some shitty advice about PCT. Said, go off the test, do 10 days of clomid then jump on tren only. I WAS LIKE WTF!!! I think she wanted to do me in da butt with her clit.

Hit it & quit it.
 
SaladFork said:
trenbolone bish was hot and I actually was down wit her, I was not hardcore enough I don't think. Currently happy... :)

Here is her pic - http://i28.tinypic.com/xm1ws6.jpg
she is a hottie, she's nails, still can't believe the wac advice she gave you, not being a hardcore enough is no surprise, don't take it personally, thats just the tren talking :chomp:
 
ariel347 said:
she is a hottie, she's nails, still can't believe the wac advice she gave you, not being a hardcore enough is no surprise, don't take it personally, thats just the tren talking :chomp:


I think when you get to that level no one is hardcore enough, uless you are on stage also. She was a few comps from going pro. I think the only reason I was really into her was the fact that she was cool with me being on j00se. I kinda shut my mouth when talking about food and juice, since see seemed to know it all (but not really).
 
heatherrae said:
Dang, girls do tren? I never heard of that.

I do snack cakes.


She said her ex boyfriend was cutting it in with her shakes and she didn't know it. Not sure how the powder works, didn't think you could do that and get the same effect without converting it first (wtf do I know)? From what I read tren + girl = small penis.
 
If I were going to have a penis, I would want to have a HUGE one. Just sayin'


:lmao:
 
ariel347 said:
Whats the order your going to date them in to. hottest on down, personality fits, freakiest,location... just curious...


location, location, location. Ideally I'd like her to be a 5-10 minute drive to pick up. I've done the hour across town thing and that starts to suck after the third fuck.
 
yeah man, never joined a dating site but all my past girlfriends have been younger than me, like 22-24. now that i've been staying away from youngins and seeing what women my age are like (27-29) most have kids and are like desperate vultures circling over head.....kind of funny

PuddleMonkey said:
So out of boredom the other day I signed up for a little internet dating. I threw down some witty one liners in my profile, couple pics, mentioned my age and the fact that I've never been married, am kidless, etc., and now I've got pretty much every woman within a 50 mile radius all up in my grill! They're like vultures!!! Are all single women my age this desperate? I'm use to dealing with the youngens, 21-24, and not the 28-34 age group. How am I, as a guy, not suppose to take FULL advantage of this? :devil:
 
PuddleMonkey said:
location, location, location. Ideally I'd like her to be a 5-10 minute drive to pick up. I've done the hour across town thing and that starts to suck after the third fuck.
There has to one just hot enough for a long drive to and fro...
Still don't know why you left the old demograph...
With gas the way it is though, can;t blame you for being pragmatic, smartest way to go.
I bet Traz wouldn't go by location though...
 
PM...did you tell all your prospects they are responsible for all forms of birth control upfront?
 
SaladFork said:
I think when you get to that level no one is hardcore enough, uless you are on stage also. She was a few comps from going pro. I think the only reason I was really into her was the fact that she was cool with me being on j00se. I kinda shut my mouth when talking about food and juice, since see seemed to know it all (but not really).
is this the one you had a date with recently and you were asking for advice on where to take her/what to do on the date?
how did that one turn out BTW?
 
ariel347 said:
There has to one just hot enough for a long drive to and fro...
Still don't know why you left the old demograph...


I dunno, I'd really like to stick within or near my zip code for convenience. I may drive the 30 minutes to meet the one below, she messaged me yesterday, I'm responding right now. I've yet to even initiate convo with any of these women, thus far I haven't had to. Females are pretty aggressive these days.

2aj43gn.jpg
 
PuddleMonkey said:
I dunno, I'd really like to stick within or near my zip code for convenience. I may drive the 30 minutes to meet the one below, she messaged me yesterday, I'm responding right now. I've yet to even initiate convo with any of these women, thus far I haven't had to. Females are pretty aggressive these days.

2aj43gn.jpg


i bet she is chunky from the neck down. i can just tell!!!
 
When I had a profile up, all the geeks would msg me.
Then when I put a profile w/out a pic, only Marc msg'ed me.
Take your pic down
 
blueta2 said:
When I had a profile up, all the geeks would msg me.
Then when I put a profile w/out a pic, only Marc msg'ed me.
Take your pic down


but didnt he say your ass was soft? lol
 
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