Then when I began to sleep with other men I got this godawfull feeling of suffocating. After sex I couldnt WAIT to get out of the bed. If I had a deep affection for him said:
My exbf once said to me, "It isnt that I want to go to sleep with you so much. It is that I want to wake up to you!"
Once you get to that point, the above described feeling will go away.
Now I only get that feeling when it comes to the idea of legal marriage. If it weren't for my personal situation I would NEVER legally re-marry. I dont need a piece of paper to be committed any more than I need a piece of paper to end that commitment.
They are both important for many reasons and I do respect and agree with the sanctity of marriage. I am just terrified at the notion of doing it again and don't know if THAT feeling will ever leave me. In short, I will have to most likely be stoned/drugged or under the influence of some controlled substance/hypnosis/etc if I am ever to embark on such an adventure again.