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Having a hard time with a breakup

Goldark

New member
A couple weeks ago, my girlfriend and I decided to take a break after a discussion evolved into me telling her that she wasn't pulling her weight in the relationship. She tells me that she just hasn't felt the same about me and that I kinda changed. It's true, to an extent...I've been going through a rough time in othe areas of my life and maybe depended on her too much to be there for me emotionally. This was a girl I thought I could marry; she thought the same way about me, but I guess this eventually wore on her.

Fast forward a week and I convinced her to give it another try just as casual dating. After the weekend, I just broke it off because it was obvious to me she wasn't going to put enough effort into it. I broke up with her, she called me later that night, sad that we weren't together. I basically told her I wanted to work it out but she would have to pull her weight, too. She basically says she didn't feel the same about me anymore. I told her to call me back when she wanted to work things out. It's been a couple days since I last heard from her.

I started sensing this feeling from her about a month ago, when she moved an hour away, got a new place, and started a new full-time job. I know there's no other guy, but she's changed since then. Her birthday is in a few days and I'm not sure whether to wish her a happy birthday or just ignore it altogether. It hurts so much...

I still want to be with her, but I guess the ball is totally in her court. Things are so uncertain, and I've gone through so much heartache. I think about the happy times we've had and all the things she's done for me and said, and it just makes it worse.

Just posting to hear some thoughts, advice, tips on what I should do, anything inspirational, or just to hear other people's stories. I feel lost and there's a void in my life that won't be filled any time soon...
 
There is a reason why an ex is an ex. If you were happy with her you would not have broken it off to begin with. You broke off with her. Leave her alone. Put some time into yourself so that you can be happy alone. :) Then go out and chase some tail when you are ready.

I know it hurts, but believe me you will wake up one day and realize suddenly you've not thought about her AT ALL and THAT will feel nyice!
 
Cause:

about a month ago, when she moved an hour away, got a new place, and started a new full-time job. I know there's no other guy, but she's changed since then.

Reaction:

me telling her that she wasn't pulling her weight in the relationship.

I just broke it off because it was obvious to me she wasn't going to put enough effort into it.

I wanted to work it out but she would have to pull her weight, too.

Moreover:

I kinda changed. It's true

Upshot:

maybe [I] depended on her too much to be there for me emotionally.


From the above, it sounds like you have everything figured out already.


Things are so uncertain, and I've gone through so much heartache


And from the evidence, it appears self-inflicted.

HTH



:cow:
 
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