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Got served with court papers today!

T

The_Ghost

High End Bro
Platinum
I knew I was getting something but holy mother of god!! I knew it would be bad but I had no idea of the shit my Ex was going to pull.

If you were to read this thing I am the fucking devil and she is mother Theresa!!

I am now left with no choice but to get down in the mud and take the gloves off just to defend my character.

Trying to punish me instead of doing what is best for our daughter is going to cause a lot of people to get hurt and I can't care about that anymore.

Gloves are off and I am going all out for my little angel!!
 
Burnando behind this shit too?

(plan carefully your actions as you don't want them to come back and haunt you in court, emotions can lead you astray and make you impulsive.)
 
The Bigdawg said:
I knew I was getting something but holy mother of god!! I knew it would be bad but I had no idea of the shit my Ex was going to pull.

If you were to read this thing I am the fucking devil and she is mother Theresa!!

I am now left with no choice but to get down in the mud and take the gloves off just to defend my character.

Trying to punish me instead of doing what is best for our daughter is going to cause a lot of people to get hurt and I can't care about that anymore.

Gloves are off and I am going all out for my little angel!!
Click to expand...

Sweetie.. Remember she can have that lawyer write anything up she wants in those papers...

SHE HAS TO PROVE THEM IN COURT!!!!!!!! She can't.. she'll look like a fool and an ass and a Bitch.

I'm so sorry that she's being such a twat... Stay cool and collected...

:rose:
 
AAP said:
Burnando behind this shit too?

(plan carefully your actions as you don't want them to come back and haunt you in court, emotions can lead you astray and make you impulsive.)
Click to expand...


I hear ya bro, I learnt a long time ago not to do anything or make any decsions while pissed off. Something she has done quite often already.


I will always act in the best interest of my kid with each action. Count on that!
 
Frisky said:
Sweetie.. Remember she can have that lawyer write anything up she wants in those papers...

SHE HAS TO PROVE THEM IN COURT!!!!!!!! She can't.. she'll look like a fool and an ass and a Bitch.

I'm so sorry that she's being such a twat... Stay cool and collected...

:rose:
Click to expand...


True enough!

I will push for an evaluation of both of us as I have no worries about my state of mind or what will come out.

The only thing that worries me in all of this is the gear stuff. It isn't illegal here but the stigma attached could be bad.

I have spent my entire moring going over 93 points of fact she has down and I can't believe how facts have been omited or events changed, most of which I can prove in court.
 
Well my daddy always taught me that if you give a foolish woman enough rope (or cock) she will hang herself everytime. Little did daddy know that applies to ex bitches as well.
 
feel free to say this in court... although i am amde out to be the devil... i understand because, in fact that is what she would like you to believe... what she doesn't understand however is that her actions not only affect herself now but affect the life of our child, and i find that her narccisim will not only be her demise but fear it will harm mmy child.
 
Welcome to the club! I got served a few months ago, but luckily she don't got money and her bf doesn't want to spend money for her.

I am saving up for the retainer for my lawyer and I am gonna serve her big time.
 
The Bigdawg said:
The only thing that worries me in all of this is the gear stuff. It isn't illegal here but the stigma attached could be bad.
Click to expand...

She knew you were using before you slipped one past the goalie. It's not like your behavior or character changed as a result of your usage.
 
What bothers me is she was able to go to court, say all this bullshit and get a temporary order giving me only 1 hour a week supervised all without me being able to defend myself!

She is no more the victim then myself, the child is.

I will keep my cool.

All I want is to be a part my daugthers life, not a monthly check, is that asking to much! Does my little girl not deserve this?
 
gotmilk said:
She knew you were using before you slipped one past the goalie. It's not like your behavior or character changed as a result of your usage.
Click to expand...

Excellent point!

Don't you just love it when this "Something that was ok when we were together" becomes something that makes one party bad when we seperate...

I've been slammed for allowing my kids to go to a sitter (my mom to be exact) for me to train....... WTF... When we were together it was ok.. but now that we are divorced I shouldn't do this.
 
Frisky said:
Excellent point!

Don't you just love it when this "Something that was ok when we were together" becomes something that makes one party bad when we seperate...

I've been slammed for allowing my kids to go to a sitter (my mom to be exact) for me to train....... WTF... When we were together it was ok.. but now that we are divorced I shouldn't do this.
Click to expand...

funny eh, in the court doc it is suddenly a big problem that I went to train 6 days a week.
 
I know you aren't going to want to hear this, but depending on the laws and what judge you get:

SHE WONT HAVE TO PROVE A FUCKING THING.

The best advice I can give is KEEP YOUR NOSE UBERCLEAN - BE THERE FOR EVERY VISITATION - KEEP A LOG - DONT GIVE IN.

The only good news is (I guess) is that your daughter is young enough where if you get this nightmare sorted out in the next 5 years or so (yes, you read correctly) she may not be old enough to remember when it was truly bad.

Call me anytime you want to talk. My digits are the same.

My heart goes out to you - you know I understand.
 
Oh yes, one more thing - HIRE THE MOST RUTHLESS CUTTHROAT ATTORNEY, ONE WHO SPECIALIZES IN CUSTODY!

The investment may be great upfront but in the long run it will save you A LOT of money, not to mention grief and heartache.

Do whatever you can to find the money. I mean it.
 
The Bigdawg said:
funny eh, in the court doc it is suddenly a big problem that I went to train 6 days a week.
Click to expand...

I've seen it so many damn times...

My X got slammed everytime he'd bring it up.. before he could even finish saying I'm bringing you to court for blah blah.. I had a come back of ... Well tuts.. go right on ahead... But be ready to look like an ass and pay a lawyer to to help...

:rolleyes:

a few family members have gone thru the wringer as of lately and It pisses me off that the courts allow malicious statements to even be made with out any proof...

Guilty until proven innocent...?

Fact is if you were an ass you could have reversed the roles and made her out to be the bad parent.. etc etc...

Its a who ever gets here first system... that really sucks.
 
Last edited:
I hate to say this...

But level every accusation you possibly can. You dont have to prove it. She has to prove that it ISNT that way.

This is totally against my character as you know, but faced with what you are faced with - CUSTODY OF YOUR CHILD - do not be "nice" or even think for a moment about fair.

THERE IS NO JUSTICE.

Remember that.

Say whatever you have to say in order to win.

I tried to do the right thing. Look what it netted me. Had I to do things over again this is exactly what I would do different:

1 - get the most ruthless/experienced attorney that money can buy. - FIND THE MONEY TO PAY FOR THEM.

2 - level any and every accusation under the sun.

I am not proud to give this advice. But I am well versed. I have had to do many things that I never thought I would be capable of to take care of my kids, many that I am not very proud of except for the dispicable things that would have made a REAL difference.

Learn from my mistakes.
 
The man who can drive himself further on truth and honesty once the effort gets painful is the man who will win in the end.



She might can snow one over on a judge and the legal system, but in the end, the child is not going to be blind or stupid. The child is going to see what is right and wrong and act accordingly.
You might not win next week, next month or next year. But in the end YOU will be the one who gets the last laugh. However long it may take you to do so.
 
Last edited:
EnderJE said:
Whoa...you train six days a week? That's it...you shouldn't be a father... :rolleyes:
Click to expand...
Yeah, fitness, dedication.......there's a bad example to set! :rolleyes:
I had a friend in Kitchener. His Wife left & went to a shelter in Guelph, said he was beating her. HE WASN'T, I know, but the stigma stayed for years because he didn't fight it.
It's gonna get messy, but you have to defend your rights, & the child's, & the grandparents.
Good luck & best wishes. Oh, & by the way. Because he didn't fight, his ex's poisoned the kids' minds & they want nothing to do with him. Mind you, he got fucked by the child support system here in Ontario, so if you can privately settle the support thing, aside from the custody, you'll be better off
 
Last edited:
AAP said:
The man who can drive himself further on truth and honest once the effort gets painful is the man who will win in the end.



She might can snow one over on a judge and the legal system, but in the end, the child is not going to be blind or stupid. The child is going to see what is right and wrong and act accordingly.
You might not win next week, next month or next year. But in the end YOU will be the one who gets the last laugh. However long it may take you to do so.
Click to expand...

I used to believe in these principles. But I am sorry, it just doesn't work that way.

This isnt about truth and there is no justice - first thing they teach in law school.

It is all about perception.

And the child will not see what is right/wrong... not until they are much much older - we are talking adulthood and by then, a lot of "lifetime" has been robbed. Children are easily seduced by material things and are very easily misled by lies, are also blind to "truth" because they want so desperately to gain the love of a parent who is by all accounts incapable of it.

I am sorry - I hear what you are saying - but it just doesnt work that way.

I am incapable of lying or deception. But let me tell you this, after being in this wringer for near 5 years - had I to do it again I would learn to lie and decieve REAL QUICK and yes, the end would most certainly justify the means.
 
hidngod said:
Yeah, fitness, dedication.......there's a bad example to set.
I had a friend in Kitchener. His Wife left & went to a shelter in Guelph, said he was beating her. HE WASN'T, I know, but the stigma stayed for years because he didn't fight it.
It's gonna get messy, but you have to defend your rights, & the child's, & the grandparents.
Click to expand...

no not dedication but obsession :rolleyes: and according to her an eating disorder as I eat protein drinks 3-5 times a day in spring. I am 256 fucking pounds in the winter, if I have a eating disorder what should I be 300????
 
that sucks bro. sincerely I hope for the best for you and your kids.
 
Don't let her know about EF or she will be on here reading your posts.
 
The Bigdawg said:
Trust me that is one thing I made sure NEVER, EVER happened.
Click to expand...


I hope. Or else if you talk about it on here, she will know everything you will be doing in advance.
 
AAP said:
I hope. Or else if you talk about it on here, she will know everything you will be doing in advance.
Click to expand...

I made sure of that, not that she can't stumble into here one day which is one reason I will never go into detail about exactly what action I am going to take.
 
The Bigdawg said:
I made sure of that, not that she can't stumble into here one day which is one reason I will never go into detail about exactly what action I am going to take.
Click to expand...

Just make sure she never finds out about the pics of you and Jerkbox that were posted on here during Fleet Week.

BTW, you still have that link of the video with the aerobics chicks?
 
pitbullstl said:
Agreed bor. Fast indeed.

Good luck Dawg.........keep a level head.
Click to expand...

The pictures of my little girl I carry around with me everywhere is what has and will continue to keep me grounded bro.
 
The Bigdawg said:
The pictures of my little girl I carry around with me everywhere is what has and will continue to keep me grounded bro.
Click to expand...

Glad to hear it, because that's what's matters most. :)
 
This kids..is why you don't get married.

The "other" side of love they don't think about during their _lovey dovey_ phase.
 
Razorguns said:
This kids..is why you don't get married.

The "other" side of love they don't think about during their _lovey dovey_ phase.
Click to expand...

Looks more like to me why you don't get married w/o shacking up first. You gotta be around somebody 24/7/365 for a while to learn their true motivations.
 
Sorry to hear bro.
Been there done that and its a dirty situation.
The anger does subside.
Hold your head high and prevail!
 
I think that's awful. I think there's almost nothing worse than one parent using a child to hurt the other parent. It's selfish and unfair. I'm so sorry for you and your child. :(
 
Dial_tone said:
Looks more like to me why you don't get married w/o shacking up first. You gotta be around somebody 24/7/365 for a while to learn their true motivations.
Click to expand...
If I had to do it all over again, I would do this. It actually worked out for me (jumping into marriage), but for many others it didn't.
 
The Bigdawg said:
I knew I was getting something but holy mother of god!! I knew it would be bad but I had no idea of the shit my Ex was going to pull.

If you were to read this thing I am the fucking devil and she is mother Theresa!!

I am now left with no choice but to get down in the mud and take the gloves off just to defend my character.

Trying to punish me instead of doing what is best for our daughter is going to cause a lot of people to get hurt and I can't care about that anymore.

Gloves are off and I am going all out for my little angel!!
Click to expand...

I've been thru it also. Sorry man. It's not fun. It's more than likely the Lawyer. I hear women are evil when you make them mad, but I don't know about that. I was hit with the same thing and couldn't believe it when I read it. I fought back and we ended up with 50/50 on everything and no child support.
 
The Bigdawg said:
True enough!

I will push for an evaluation of both of us as I have no worries about my state of mind or what will come out.

The only thing that worries me in all of this is the gear stuff. It isn't illegal here but the stigma attached could be bad.

I have spent my entire moring going over 93 points of fact she has down and I can't believe how facts have been omited or events changed, most of which I can prove in court.
Click to expand...

I was accused of steroid use and I didn't deny that I had done them in the past. At the time, I hadn't done them for quite awhile. She never had a problem with me doing them (at least she never said so). But, if you are doing them now, you might want to stop ulness you are prepared to admit that you are taking them possibly illegally. They can ask for a drug test and probably will.
 
You know, I know a guy who knows a guy that can solve you problem for less money that your lawyer would cost..... Heh heh heh. Just be prepared my man. I started dealing with this shit 6 years ago and it isn't over yet. Prep yourself for a long battle but hope it ends quickly. My ex pulled some way over the top bullshit. Plus, she went into this whole deal about how she was abused as a child and blah blah blah. We have been in court several times and just when I think the dark cloud has passed over, wham, she hits me again with some bullshit. I have been letting it ride for a while now and I have been checking out numerous lawyers around here to see who can help me the most. Once I find the right one, it's time to turn the tables. Its a shitty shitty road to travel, but it will be well worth it in the end. Make sure to keep your head high, don't back down, and constantly be thinking about your kiddo. That will drive you.
 
Near 5 years for me... as long as one asshole parent wants to use a child - THEY WILL and the law sits back and laughs. No one gives a damn about children. All they care about is making money. The only true victims are the children.

GET A RUTHLESS SCUMBAG PROFESSIONAL ATTORNEY - THE BEST IN YOUR AREA FOR CUSTODY - BEG, BORROW, LIE, CHEAT, STEAL - WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO DO TO FUND THE ATTORNEY. HIT HER HARD AND MAYBE SHE WILL BACK DOWN.

It sounds dirty, but yea.... so?

Dont do what I did by trying to do the right thing and trusting that the truth will prevail.

There is no justice.

And this is not about truth - the law doesn't give a shit about truth.


IT IS ALL ABOUT PERCEPTION.
 
Beached Whale said:
Near 5 years for me... as long as one asshole parent wants to use a child - THEY WILL and the law sits back and laughs. No one gives a damn about children. All they care about is making money. The only true victims are the children.

GET A RUTHLESS SCUMBAG PROFESSIONAL ATTORNEY - THE BEST IN YOUR AREA FOR CUSTODY - BEG, BORROW, LIE, CHEAT, STEAL - WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO DO TO FUND THE ATTORNEY. HIT HER HARD AND MAYBE SHE WILL BACK DOWN.

It sounds dirty, but yea.... so?

Dont do what I did by trying to do the right thing and trusting that the truth will prevail.

There is no justice.

And this is not about truth - the law doesn't give a shit about truth.


IT IS ALL ABOUT PERCEPTION.
Click to expand...

I really hope that if you get engaged one day...

your future husbands read this first. :)

Beached Whale said:
And this is not about truth - the law doesn't give a shit about truth.
Click to expand...

Actually it does, miss morals.

Most divorce trials are nothing more than judges trying to siphon through all the bullshit both parties are spewing.
 
Razorguns said:
I really hope that if you get engaged one day...

your future husbands read this first. :)



Actually it does, miss morals.

Most divorce trials are nothing more than judges trying to siphon through all the bullshit both parties are spewing.
Click to expand...

Ummmm you dont know what you are talking about.

As I said before divorce and custody are two different matters altogether.

NONE OF WHAT I SAID APPLIES TO DIVORCE - THAT IS PURELY ABOUT MONEY.

In the state where the law is equitable distribution why do divorce trials still happen then?
 
The Bigdawg said:
I knew I was getting something but holy mother of god!! I knew it would be bad but I had no idea of the shit my Ex was going to pull.

If you were to read this thing I am the fucking devil and she is mother Theresa!!

I am now left with no choice but to get down in the mud and take the gloves off just to defend my character.

Trying to punish me instead of doing what is best for our daughter is going to cause a lot of people to get hurt and I can't care about that anymore.

Gloves are off and I am going all out for my little angel!!
Click to expand...
:( Dawgy I know you will do what is best for your little angel.



















*Off topic*

You back in T.Dot?
 
Interesting.

I am kind of on the other end of this. I am marrying a woman who has a kid and an ex. She is moving out to be with me, about halway across the country from where the ex is. Currently The Boy sees his dad about every weekend. We woudl let him have his kid for like 2 months during the summer and a month or so around Xmas.

Note that the father a) doens't have a job, b) lives with his sister in a small, dirty house with her kids and her husband, c) disparages the kid in front of him, and d) doens't even have a DL cos he has too many DWIs.

I look forward to providing him with a better "father figure" and role model, and getting him into activities like sports where you have to be in the same place during the week as for weekends.
 
hey sorry to hear about this....just do what is right and if paying her a few dollars every week is what is recommended just do it atleast she is out of your hair...and if you truly want your baby girl than do it...go get her!!!!!
:rose:
 
Holy shit Dawg!

You just moved out there a short while ago. I'm sorry to hear about this. Keep your cool and do your best to prove your case in court.

This woman sounds pissed!
 
I wouldn't assume it's all her. 'Bout 20 years ago, the first Mrs. Digger wanted a divorce, so I went to a lawyer and had him start up the paperwork. He wrote up a whole bunch of boilerplate BS about how she was an awful person who (among other things) called me at the office and interfered with my work. She looked at it and said "I'm not signing that!"

So I took it back and he just changed all the "she" to "he" -- everything else was exactly the same boilerplate BS. He didn't change one word except to make it so it was me harassing her, and we both knew that was a crock because she wasn't working, so how could I be calling her at the office? But the court in that state at that time had to have a reason to grant a divorce, and we had to give them what they wanted.

We didn't care what it said. We got our divorce, had Chinese for lunch and went our separate ways.

Is your ex a biatch? I don't know her. Is your ex's lawyer a biatch? Hell yeah! That's in the job description. But if the lawyer is just "going through the motions" you know that's got nothing to do with you as a person.
 
Best of luck. You are looking at this the right way. Its about your child. YOU need to be in her life. You are a reasonable person who will teach your daughter how to live life properly!
If you are on the juice. Get off it. When you go to court tell them they can test you.
If they ask why you work out so much tell them that your father was in bad shape and couldn't participate much in your childhood. That you did it to ensure you would be there for your daughter her whole life!
 
slat1 said:
Best of luck. You are looking at this the right way. Its about your child. YOU need to be in her life. You are a reasonable person who will teach your daughter how to live life properly!
If you are on the juice. Get off it. When you go to court tell them they can test you.
If they ask why you work out so much tell them that your father was in bad shape and couldn't participate much in your childhood. That you did it to ensure you would be there for your daughter her whole life!
Click to expand...

You aren't far off there on what you said.

I do work out like crazy due the fact that all memebers of my Dads side of the family have suffered major heart attacks, including my Father. They are/were all overweight and never excersised except going to the fridge.

My bro and I have always been conscious of breaking the family chain and living and eating our way to better lives.

I can pass a drug test as we speak so I have no problems with that.
 
angel_girl said:
hey sorry to hear about this....just do what is right and if paying her a few dollars every week is what is recommended just do it atleast she is out of your hair...and if you truly want your baby girl than do it...go get her!!!!!
:rose:
Click to expand...

no worries there, I have already started sending money as she is my responsibilty too.
 
Beached Whale said:
As I said before divorce and custody are two different matters altogether.
Click to expand...

That's not what i said.

If people wouldn't marry people they hadn't tested the waters thoroughly -- and put more thought and planning before popping out kids -- we'd cut down on these custody cases by 50-80%.

People should require a license before procreating.

I was smart and never married and procreated ... you don't see me in divorce court do you?
 
Razorguns said:
That's not what i said.

If people wouldn't marry people they hadn't tested the waters thoroughly -- and put more thought and planning before popping out kids -- we'd cut down on these custody cases by 50-80%.

People should require a license before procreating.

I was smart and never married and procreated ... you don't see me in divorce court do you?
Click to expand...

Please take my comment the right way...

Bet you're glad your parents were not as "smart" as you... eh?


Digger - I hear u on the boiler plate BS that the courts need in order to grant a divorce but when there are children involved and custody comes into play it is a completely different situation.
 
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