got dumped..BUT I'M GONNA GET PUMPED, HUMPED, JUMPED AND BUMPED!

[Lestat]

Re: got dumped..

my journal entry for today so far:

I want to badly to call or email Sarah.. to just have that contact.

Last night I felt a little better, but an onslaught of emotional dreams just brought it all back. I have these dreams where Sarah and I are back together again... where things are great.. and I am just SO happy.

I'm finding it hard still to just reconcile things... Sarah and I didn't fight.. we got along very well. I wish I would have known that Sarah was having feelings like this.. this drastic... this life changing.. because I know.. I just know.. that I could have done more...

This is officially the worst pain and hardest thing I'd have to deal with in my life ever.. it makes you feel like love isn't even worth it... I see so many people in relationships and I think.. how come I couldn't keep mine together??

I've been trying to focus on the negatives in the relationships... but to be honest, they are too insignificant to make a difference..

its mid day Sunday now and I haven't left my room.. haven't showered.. haven't eaten.. I've lost all motivation for everything and I seem to be just walowing in this shitty feeling.

It seems like all I can think about today is what I would have been doing.. what I feel I should have been doing.... probably going to the beach with Sarah.. maybe Wind and Sea... also, getting coffee... reading a little.. just enjoying being next to each other and reading... and then she'd likely be making dinner tonight and would probably invite me over... we might get dessert and then I'd leave around 8 or so.. ready to start the week of work ahead of me with a big smile on my face.

I think that in the back of my mind I knew that some things might not have been 100% perfect with Sarah and I.. however I think I just felt that there was always time.. the future was full of promise... if its not perfect today, that doesn't mean it can't be perfect tomorrow.. there are still so many things I wanted to do with Sarah.. big and small..

I'm hoping this feeling will go away... it has to right? I'm wondering how am I supposed to know if this depressed feeling gets out of hand... if I should ever seek professional advice or help?

Its been a week and one day since the breakup and it feels like it was just yesterday.

 

[Smurfy]

Re: got dumped..

yes these feelings of hurt and pain will subside but truly may never die out totally. if you feel that strongly for her , you will probably always be saddened by the breakup. good luck bri. youre such a sweet person. i wish you the best.

 

[velvett]

Re: got dumped..

my journal entry for today so far:

Writing's good for the soul...

It always troubles me of how fickle the heart can be to and about our desires. How easily our feelings can change or slowly subside. It disappoints and saddens me when I see or feel it happen. It bothers me most when this heart is my heart that does changing, even when it was something in the making or something that may be easily recognized as a defense mechanism. Regardless of who, what or when it's a downhearted and empty moment when the shimmer, the emotion and enrapture dies.

0 7 2 4 0 0

 

[Lestat]

Re: got dumped..

Writing's good for the soul...

Wow, great writing.. that is a keeper.

 

[wutangnomo]

Re: got dumped..

I read this entire thread and felt the need to respond. I agree whole-heartedly with Big Rock (funny posts bro lol).

Bro think about it, nobody breaks up with someone else for no reason. The whole "it's me" line is a farce. It's a nice way to say "I have lost interest in you and think you're boring" or "I seriously want to enjoy some new 9 inch penis that I've had my eye on for some time". She was NEVER in true love with you. Your ex says she wants to go out and date new people blah blah blah. In other words, she wants that experiencing 'new and many things' phase, but guess what, YOU were part of that phase! She had a nice little relationship with you and it's time for her to move on to the next guy. I'll bet that the guy she was with prior to you heard the exact same lines as you, and the next guy she'll hook up with (for a year or so) will eventually get the same "it's me" line. Bro you are just one guy in a long line of many for her before she finally gets to the settling down point, which by the looks of it isn't any time soon. You're wasting your time and pride by trying to MAKE her love you and want something more WITH YOU because she has made it clear she wants new cocks and fun loving. Why do you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you??? The ONLY reasons why she would get back with you is because you are an EASY and SAFE relationship, so it'll be simply for her comfort and not for true love... and the fact that she knows she's got you hooked!

Six months ago your ex said she thought she wanted to be single. What other clue do you need??? Guess what, that meant six months ago it was OVER for her already!! All you did was CONVINCE her to hang around a bit longer and give you a chance, but bro let me tell you one thing about women and men.... when it's OVER in their mind's, it is OVER period!! All she did was give you a bit more time because she felt sorry for you, but now the inevitable has happened as it always does when "she felt she wasn't right for me.. that I could be happier with someone else.. that something was missing." That is the nice way to get someone else to end the relationship without them having to do the dirty work. That's the roundabout way of saying "I don't love you, I don't want you, and you need to find someone else and end this shit before I do, so here's your chance." She was giving you clues LONG ago that she wanted freedom and when that happens the relationship is TOAST!! You can delay it all you want, but eventually the relationship will crash and burn because she never really loved you in the first place and decided to move on (in her head that is). I'm sure while she was with you she was scoping out other cocks and letting her mind engage in nasty thoughts of blowjobs and tittyfucks with them Duke linemen and co-workers. She was in love with the friendship/sex/having a guy/being in a relationship deal, but she was never TRULY in love. You were in love with being in love, in love with a facade and person you THOUGHT existed. The fact is you were making more of this girl than what she really was/is because you wanted to be in love and it clouded your mind from seeing her true colours and real motives. You think your ex was perfect in every way, but that is only because you are disillusioned in seeing what YOU want. The sooner you can see that is NOT what SHE truly wanted and felt, the sooner you will start healing. And by the way she ended her email with "also, i've been amazed at the depth and articulate nature of your emails. holy shit. you can write too!" that only goes to show you how seriously vested her emotions were, which wasn't much. Bro you were fun and interesting to her for a while, but those things have now evaporated. Her feelings aren't nearly as deep as you were LED to believe.

There's nothing wrong with wallowing, that's only natural. However, you seriously need to start calling the shots for yourself. This girl has YOU WRAPPED AROUND HER FINGERS. SHE is the one calling ALL the shots and what you need to do is start taking power back into your hands because as it stands she's got it all! Everytime you call her and beg for comfort and explanation, she's probably thinking to herself "I got this chump owned!". That does nothing but feed her ego because she sees that YOU NEED HER! You are coming off as DESPERATE, so take your life back into your own hands and stop resorting to going back to the person who dumped you for solice. Do you really want to be that kind of guy who begs their partner to be with them?? Do you honestly think this girl is sitting at home crying and wallowing over you??? FUCK NO!!! SHE dumped YOU and is probably enjoying her life partying it up and banging new cocks every other weekend! She's talking to you because she feels SORRY for you and will appease your request's for pity. What you don't realize is that she has moved on with her life, and you should do that same and quit DEPENDING on her. You are DEPENDING on her to bring you happiness, and as you can see, she sure as hell ain't giving you that because she ended it with you. That is not true love!! True love does NOT end, and she has ended it with you so that goes to show how she really feels about you in the first place.

As others have stated, cut off ALL contact with her as that only delays healing. The more you talk to her the more questions you will have and the more you prolong pain and suffering. Stop asking her why she dumped you because you will never get an honest answer. Use your head, why do people dump others?? Either abusiveness (which you know you didn't do so this can't be it) or they have lost interest (ie you're boring now and physically became fat and mentally turned into a fucktard) or they have found someone else (ie she's had her eye on some guy named Julio at the gym and wants to give into her temptations to have his cock stuffed between her asscheecks while performing a dropset of squats). It's not rocket science why people dump others and if you're honest with yourself you will know why she did.

I hope you didn't take offense to this post, but I hate to see a seemingly good guy down like this. You need to start taking control and power back into your hands. Forget about her and focus on YOU, and the next thing you know she will see what good of a guy she let go. You will see that you were settling and when your ex comes crying back, fogedaboutit!

Peace!

 

[onebigab]

Re: got dumped..

yeah man, im pretty fucking bummed right now..and I RARELY get down about life or anything in general.. but this fucking sucks.

I'm hitting up Vegas tomorrow too and I hope I can get out of this fucking funk long enough to enjoy it....

one problem though.. I was in vegas just a MONTH ago for my ex girl's birthday... couples trip.. it was a lot of fun and is my last memory of vegas..

Let me know where your staying at and how things are there. I've never been there before and am going in November for a couple of days and then on over to the Phoenix/Giants game. Woo Hoo

 

[Lestat]

Re: got dumped..

I read this entire thread and felt the need to respond. I agree whole-heartedly with Big Rock (funny posts bro lol).

Bro think about it, nobody breaks up with someone else for no reason. The whole "it's me" line is a farce. It's a nice way to say "I have lost interest in you and think you're boring" or "I seriously want to enjoy some new 9 inch penis that I've had my eye on for some time". She was NEVER in true love with you. Your ex says she wants to go out and date new people blah blah blah. In other words, she wants that experiencing 'new and many things' phase, but guess what, YOU were part of that phase! She had a nice little relationship with you and it's time for her to move on to the next guy. I'll bet that the guy she was with prior to you heard the exact same lines as you, and the next guy she'll hook up with (for a year or so) will eventually get the same "it's me" line. Bro you are just one guy in a long line of many for her before she finally gets to the settling down point, which by the looks of it isn't any time soon. You're wasting your time and pride by trying to MAKE her love you and want something more WITH YOU because she has made it clear she wants new cocks and fun loving. Why do you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you??? The ONLY reasons why she would get back with you is because you are an EASY and SAFE relationship, so it'll be simply for her comfort and not for true love... and the fact that she knows she's got you hooked!

Six months ago your ex said she thought she wanted to be single. What other clue do you need??? Guess what, that meant six months ago it was OVER for her already!! All you did was CONVINCE her to hang around a bit longer and give you a chance, but bro let me tell you one thing about women and men.... when it's OVER in their mind's, it is OVER period!! All she did was give you a bit more time because she felt sorry for you, but now the inevitable has happened as it always does when "she felt she wasn't right for me.. that I could be happier with someone else.. that something was missing." That is the nice way to get someone else to end the relationship without them having to do the dirty work. That's the roundabout way of saying "I don't love you, I don't want you, and you need to find someone else and end this shit before I do, so here's your chance." She was giving you clues LONG ago that she wanted freedom and when that happens the relationship is TOAST!! You can delay it all you want, but eventually the relationship will crash and burn because she never really loved you in the first place and decided to move on (in her head that is). I'm sure while she was with you she was scoping out other cocks and letting her mind engage in nasty thoughts of blowjobs and tittyfucks with them Duke linemen and co-workers. She was in love with the friendship/sex/having a guy/being in a relationship deal, but she was never TRULY in love. You were in love with being in love, in love with a facade and person you THOUGHT existed. The fact is you were making more of this girl than what she really was/is because you wanted to be in love and it clouded your mind from seeing her true colours and real motives. You think your ex was perfect in every way, but that is only because you are disillusioned in seeing what YOU want. The sooner you can see that is NOT what SHE truly wanted and felt, the sooner you will start healing. And by the way she ended her email with "also, i've been amazed at the depth and articulate nature of your emails. holy shit. you can write too!" that only goes to show you how seriously vested her emotions were, which wasn't much. Bro you were fun and interesting to her for a while, but those things have now evaporated. Her feelings aren't nearly as deep as you were LED to believe.

There's nothing wrong with wallowing, that's only natural. However, you seriously need to start calling the shots for yourself. This girl has YOU WRAPPED AROUND HER FINGERS. SHE is the one calling ALL the shots and what you need to do is start taking power back into your hands because as it stands she's got it all! Everytime you call her and beg for comfort and explanation, she's probably thinking to herself "I got this chump owned!". That does nothing but feed her ego because she sees that YOU NEED HER! You are coming off as DESPERATE, so take your life back into your own hands and stop resorting to going back to the person who dumped you for solice. Do you really want to be that kind of guy who begs their partner to be with them?? Do you honestly think this girl is sitting at home crying and wallowing over you??? FUCK NO!!! SHE dumped YOU and is probably enjoying her life partying it up and banging new cocks every other weekend! She's talking to you because she feels SORRY for you and will appease your request's for pity. What you don't realize is that she has moved on with her life, and you should do that same and quit DEPENDING on her. You are DEPENDING on her to bring you happiness, and as you can see, she sure as hell ain't giving you that because she ended it with you. That is not true love!! True love does NOT end, and she has ended it with you so that goes to show how she really feels about you in the first place.

As others have stated, cut off ALL contact with her as that only delays healing. The more you talk to her the more questions you will have and the more you prolong pain and suffering. Stop asking her why she dumped you because you will never get an honest answer. Use your head, why do people dump others?? Either abusiveness (which you know you didn't do so this can't be it) or they have lost interest (ie you're boring now and physically became fat and mentally turned into a fucktard) or they have found someone else (ie she's had her eye on some guy named Julio at the gym and wants to give into her temptations to have his cock stuffed between her asscheecks while performing a dropset of squats). It's not rocket science why people dump others and if you're honest with yourself you will know why she did.

I hope you didn't take offense to this post, but I hate to see a seemingly good guy down like this. You need to start taking control and power back into your hands. Forget about her and focus on YOU, and the next thing you know she will see what good of a guy she let go. You will see that you were settling and when your ex comes crying back, fogedaboutit!

Peace!

Wow.

As with a few of the others, I REALLY appreciate this and I am going to try my best to take it to heart.

Starting today (since today I have not spoken to her, emailed, text messaged, anything...) I will not talk to her. I can make this committment, I know I can, I just hope that it DOES help with this pain and that I can take control back.

Its funny, the night she broke up with me.. my instant reaction was to be pissed.. I told her that this didn't surprise me... she seemed to be very critical of me lately.. that she's been more selfish.... I basically walked out.

about 10 minutes latert hough I had changed my tune and was crying the blues.. I was on the phone with her for nearly 3 hours that night.

I know that I need to seriously make an adjustment... do something here not because I want to get her back.. but because I want to help myself and like you said, once again take control of my life.

Like I said, I totally appreciate you taking the time to spell this all out.. this was a long post and I can see a lot of truth in it.

I look forward to one day soon where I can post on this thread and not feel like I do now. I ate breakfast finally about 1pm and couldn't finish a bowl of cereal... I need to convince myself of the truth about this whole matter.

 

[Ulcasterdropout]

Re: got dumped..

Lestat......
If you had the chance to relive the past 21 months of your
life, would you still have gotten involved with her, knowing that this would happen?

 

[Raptorex]

Re: got dumped..

Dude,

Just make your self the best you can be and go forward...there are a million chicks out there. I know that is hard to understand now, but just look around and don't be shy....believe me, a month from now you will be happy as shit!

Good luck.

 

[Lestat]

Re: got dumped..

Lestat......
If you had the chance to relive the past 21 months of your
life, would you still have gotten involved with her, knowing that this would happen?

Man, I've asked myself that many times.

At this point, as much as it hurts, I think I would definitely say yes. I still feel like she is a one of a kind.

She didn't control the realtionship. I have a fairly dominant type A personality. Early on I actually had to have a talk with her and tell her I needed my space, I was feeling constricted. I didn't wanna feel like we HAD to hang out everyday. I'm a strong believer in personal space and don't think co-depedence is healthy.

Since she broke up with me I've basically lost it.. I've probably really ruined the image she had of me too.. she was always the emotional one and I was the level headed thinker. She often times thanked me for that.. just being with me she said could calm her down and make her feel better.