Does it pay to be a good person

[nefertiti]

I have to say I agree with you.

When you are a truly "Good" person (and that whole phrase is very fuzzy), but when you truly care, and you do good because it comes from the heart, when you are trusting, are compassionate and empathetic, it gets to the point where shit eats you up. In all honesty, when you are "truly good" people take advantage of you a LOT (not just money, either, they'll hit you up for favors, they'll ask to crash on your couch, they'll eat your food and drink your booze and never bring any over, they'll hit you up for car rides and never pitch in for gas, they'll pawn off their kids or pets on you ... you get the point). However, you can't operate from your heart center on a part time basis.

Dont agree here.

With a request for forgiveness of pride, I've gotta say I am someone who gives and gives and constantly gets taken advantage of.

The thing is, when I give I HONESTLY seek nothing in return. So getting nothing does not burn me. There is a difference between being good and being an enabler. One can say no to someone and still be doing the good thing. Being good doesn't mean instant compliance...It means making the right choice in that moment....even if that choice is no.

There will always be people looking to take advantage of goodness. There will always be temptation on the other side. It's all about motivation. If you are good because it is how you want to be, no amount of burning will deter you. If you do things for gratification, yes there will be burnouts.

 

[-SD-]

bunch of filosofizers and shit up in this piece.

 

[PICK3]

I never turn my back on people in need ... I don't go out of my way to find people in need = [HUMAN][FAIL]PICK3[/HUMAN][/FAIL]

 

[-SD-]

I never turn my back on people in need ... I don't go out of my way to find people in need = [HUMAN][FAIL]PICK3[/HUMAN][/FAIL]

paypal me some cash rob, sounds like you need a little self redemption

 

[PICK3]

paypal me some cash rob, sounds like you need a little self redemption

custom exhaust + motorcycle = [MONEY][ADEQUATE]Superdave[/MONEY][/ADEQUATE]

 

[Sub-Zero]

most people who claim to be amazing selfless people, who expect nothing in return, and are always taken advantage of, are probably not nearly as awsome and pure as they view themselves...

its the people that dont call attention to their goodness that are truely good people.

such as pauly D

 

[-SD-]

custom exhaust + motorcycle = [MONEY][ADEQUATE]Superdave[/MONEY][/ADEQUATE]

money adequate= [UNEMPLOYMENT_BENEFITS]superdave[/UNEMPLOYMENT_BENEFITS]

 

[musclemom]

Dont agree here.

With a request for forgiveness of pride, I've gotta say I am someone who gives and gives and constantly gets taken advantage of.

The thing is, when I give I HONESTLY seek nothing in return. So getting nothing does not burn me. There is a difference between being good and being an enabler. One can say no to someone and still be doing the good thing. Being good doesn't mean instant compliance...It means making the right choice in that moment....even if that choice is no.

There will always be people looking to take advantage of goodness. There will always be temptation on the other side. It's all about motivation. If you are good because it is how you want to be, no amount of burning will deter you. If you do things for gratification, yes there will be burnouts.

You're probably right, and perhaps the edges of being kind versus being an enabler are difficult for some of us to discern.

I always committed "random acts of kindness" without the expectation of kindness in return. That's not what bothers me. What bothers me is when people not only take advantage of kindness but then to learn they found it amusing that I was such a gullible idiot. In their minds, I was eating all the shit they were feeding me and asking for more.

From the time I was born until my early 30s the most important people in my life, the ones I should have been able to trust and feel safe with (I'm talking parent, in-laws, spouse) lived by the mantra that "he who fucks the other guy over first, wins." A philosophy that was applied equally to everybody they encountered, family included. In fact, the people they "loved" were usually the ones whose weaknesses they knew the best so fucking over family and loved ones who weren't on constant guard was like shooting fish in a barrel for them.

No friends or work associates have hurt me as deeply as some of my closest family members and in-laws have. Pretty easy to get a new job or cut friends out of your life. All you can do with some relatives is wait until they die.

 

[Strongbow]

I am amazed you guys actually think about shit this deeply.

 

[jaimejame78]

Being "a good person" ultimately turned me into a human door mat. I went through a period that I thought being that good person meant I had to help to fix ALL their problems. Now I think it is more about being an honest person that keeps your word. But that doesn't mean I won't slap a beotch. lol