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Daisy wants me back.......
- Thread starter wootoom
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be careful bro. Slow, slow, slow. With much counselling. Don't jump back into a relationship too quickly. Trust was broken, don't be too quick to give it back. Use your head. Think logically as much as you can, trying to keep emotions out of the thought process. Emotions cloud good judgement.
mrplunkey
New member
Yup. Cheating is more about the person than it is the specific relationship.
It's far better to say: "This isn't working" and move on. Even if you get elbow-deep into new poonany 5 minutes later, at least you ended the relationship you're in.
I was just going through a similar situation. I still love her, and her daughter, but fuck all hell if I could go back to the misery that was our demise. You think of the good times and that's what brings you back IMO. It never gets as good as it once was. Just my 3 cents bro. yeah that's right 3 cents. Movin up in this bitch!
mustang_00
Well-known member
just be like "bitch i got a mustache now" and say "whammmy!!!"
women are like monkeys swing from branch to branch when it comes to changing men. They need to make sure they have a firm grip on the next branch before they can let go of the other.
Someone fucks you over once...they WILL do it again...the whole postpartum depression excuse to cheat is just that...an excuse.
Someone fucks you over once...they WILL do it again...the whole postpartum depression excuse to cheat is just that...an excuse.
hehehhe you always do
Good take it slow whatever happends I am sure it will work out for the best.
Only get implants if you decide to take her back to me boobs are better then dimonds and it is a gift for both of you
canadianhitman
Well-known member
canadianhitman
Well-known member
seaking420
New member
Not too well I guess. Im in the process of getting divorced........I guess its bittersweet. I've been seeing someone for a little bit, she's awesome, but part of me still wonders if Im making a mistake by getting a divorce. What bothers me alot is if she gets remarried and my son lives with another guy 1/2 the time. The divorce is not final yet...probably wont be for a few months. Are you officially divorced from Daisy? Be careful bro.....I know how hard all of this is.....I really wish you the best.
Tytan
New member
Friendship first, I think for the kids sake you guys should just work on being able to tolerate eachother again. You can`t get right back into a relationship, it will never be the same. You can however, be cool w/ eachother, forgive eachother and start a new type of relationship. "Single Parents".
mrplunkey
New member
This is probably a top three concern among all men getting a divorce. In reality, it turns-out to not even be a top-500 issue in practice (IMO).
Even being marginally available to your own child (i.e. every other weekend) means no other would-be "father" will replace you.
seaking420
New member
I really hope you're right about that. It scares me more than alimony/child support does. Its my #1 fear.
BNG
Well-known member
Talkin' as friends is a step in the right direction.
I still think some couples counseling is desperately needed whether you get back together or not. Just so you can co-exist and be decent parents while around each other.
It's temting to give smart-assed bs advice like make her pay etc. and she may even be on the same page, but the fact is that there are several levels involved here.
First: She's running to you when SHTF. She still has that tendancy.
Second: You still care about her and the effects it has on the kids.
Next: Possibly most important is that she see's you've moved on and are doing well. It bugs the shit out of her that your living fine without her. Her state of mind may be as destructive as anything. Don't do anything with her but get counseling. If you tap that now it's feeding the cycle. Being parents together doesn't mean that you have to be back in a relationship. In fact if you have someone else right now it would be all the better.
I still think some couples counseling is desperately needed whether you get back together or not. Just so you can co-exist and be decent parents while around each other.
It's temting to give smart-assed bs advice like make her pay etc. and she may even be on the same page, but the fact is that there are several levels involved here.
First: She's running to you when SHTF. She still has that tendancy.
Second: You still care about her and the effects it has on the kids.
Next: Possibly most important is that she see's you've moved on and are doing well. It bugs the shit out of her that your living fine without her. Her state of mind may be as destructive as anything. Don't do anything with her but get counseling. If you tap that now it's feeding the cycle. Being parents together doesn't mean that you have to be back in a relationship. In fact if you have someone else right now it would be all the better.
redsamurai
Banned
so she get's to go off and fuck around and leave you shitless and witless for a year and then "oh, so sorry.....now I want to get back with you??". Since I don't know the both of you I have to accept that she may have had a good reason to leave you......"if" that's the case, than those things haven't changed. It's STILL a bad idea all around. Cheaters always cheat again. And even if she doesn't, you'll be paraonoid as fuck for the rest of your life about what's she doing or where's she's at. At some point you're going to say fuck it, she's probably cheating.......well than so should I. It's just a mess. The kids are better off now than they would be in that kind of a marriage.
calveless wonder
New member
smart man. glad you recognize it.
thats exactly what it is. from everything you have said about her, its something she'd do. don't be dumb. she fucked you and thought the grass was greener.
let her live with her mistake.
Woot, in the final analysis, you have to answer for your own actions, nothing that anyone else does is a reflection on you, you can't control their actions. So if you will regret not trying to rebuild the relationship then go for it. Take the precautions you need to that will protect your heart as much as you can, go to counseling, but if you can honestly say that you can truly go forward, building a better relationship than you had in the past and not drag up the past, beating her or yourself up over shit that's dead and gone, then do it. If you will spend the rest of your life regretting not trying, then do it.
If you're going to beat her up (and when I say that, I mean emotionally) and not be able to let go of the hurt and the actions you've both done, separately and apart, then just let the idea go with a clear conscience.
In the end, the only real question you have to answer is: Will you spend the rest of your life regretting not having tried?
It's hard to forgive hurt but the old line about "It's better to have loved and lost ..." still holds true. It's better to love with an honest heart than never have given that heart the chance to love.
If you're going to beat her up (and when I say that, I mean emotionally) and not be able to let go of the hurt and the actions you've both done, separately and apart, then just let the idea go with a clear conscience.
In the end, the only real question you have to answer is: Will you spend the rest of your life regretting not having tried?
It's hard to forgive hurt but the old line about "It's better to have loved and lost ..." still holds true. It's better to love with an honest heart than never have given that heart the chance to love.
Thats tough. Depends. Is she sincere or is she treating you like a safety blanket? Did something happen and now shes coming back to you because its comfortable? All the wrong reasons and people deserve better than just being comfortable and being ho hum and burying there heads. I couldnt get past a spouse cheating and it would never be healthy. Its like a free Get Out Jail Card. A no brainer. Just move on.
mustang_00
Well-known member
on a serious note.... how do you keep your stache so neat??? do you have comb for it?? like a little crab comb or something!? i'm really debating on growing one to help start the mustache avi trend!
oh god
I agree with CW and Velvett, Velvett has her shit together remember!
jnevin
New member
That's true, but you won't be doing your kids any favors by being in an unhealthy relationship. They'll pick up on the tension and the resentment. You're in a hard situation dude, but just being in the relationship to see them more could do more harm than good.
that is true...but noone has any way of knowing if the relationship would be unhealthy at this point.
My suggestion is...If it is in your heart to try again, take it slow, and just go on a few dates and see how it works for you both. Get some counseling, and just take everything one step at a time.
Mr. Black
New member
As a father of two I couldn't imagine not being able to see my kids daily. If I found myself in a position where I couldn't see them in this manner, I would do whatever it fucking takes to make it happen. If Daisy is willing to follow your newly appointed Commandments...
1)Marital Counselling
2)Big Fuckin DD Implants (make her pay for em)
3)Anal every night
...then you really have nothing to lose. If it doesn't work out, at least you know you did everything in your power. Good luck whichever route you take.
Mr. Black
New member
Mr. Black
New member
Funny guy lol...
seaking420
New member
Woots remember in one of my pms with you........you said dont stay for the kids.....you will always be their father no matter what. Before you know it your kids will be 15/16 and you wont be seeing much of them anyway...they're going to want to hang out with their friends all the time......it comes down to you and daisy.....if you still have strong feelings for her....and think you maybe able to trust her again, then try with her, but dont get back with her for the kids. Trust me I understand completely when you say that, I still struggle with it, but I do now know that the kids will be fine. MAybe you can try to get full custody of them....
mrplunkey
New member
That's some seriously good advice.
I am not understanding this comment. I show no disrespect towards you nor towards your childrens mother as your private matters are your own. however you come here and you ask advice therefore I am going to give it and I am sorry if I hurt or seem to disrespect either one of you. However:
You 2 have some wonderful beautiful boys together, that is great. Would you rather raise them as functioning children not living in a home built around cheaters, liars, anger, fights, and what not??? How do you think that this will impact their futures? Will they grow to know how to treat a woman correctly or how to view their own mother without seeing her through their fathers eyes??? How about you, how will they see you, will you be the bad angry daddy who is always fighting with mommy, cannot trust mommy etc?
Look you two have soooo or shall I say TOO much shit to work through. Many many years of looking past things through therapy and communication. You cannot just wake up and be a happy family. Unfortunitaly it does not work that way.
Your children will benefit nothing if you are only building a marriage and a family on their behalf. That is a piss poor excuse, just like the women that get abused and stay because of the kids, pussy foot shit....That will only harm the children more than help.
Both of you need to sit and discuss this, get some professional help from an outsider that knows neither one of you. And Do not do this for the kids...Do not do this if you cannot trust one another, if you cannot talk to one another, and if you cannot 100% forgive one another. And damn it DO not lie to yourselves because you have children. Best to leave things well enough alone than to try, fail, and put your children through all of this mess once again.
Daisy- Woot, If you need to talk that is cool, we can exchange pm's. I have been with my husband for 11 years, obviously it has not all been pretty and I am not one to sugar coat...We all make mistakes. No marriage is perfect, no person is perfect. remember that!
I was not trying to state that you did not know that. I was trying to state that a lot of marriages have been there done that and not all have failed completely same as not all have made it after trying...
What do you mean "seems like something is up"
Sometimes it takes a while for confused people to understand what they really want and need, and also people learn from past mistakes.
jnevin
New member
I think CW nailed it.
gotmilk
New member
She's using a reverse jedi mind trick on you. Kiss your boat buh-bye.
As for the kids, tell her you want them more often...much more often as a start.
gotmilk
New member
I wonder if she was born female?
jnevin
New member
*boner*
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