Thanks everyone, it was awesome to come home from work tonight to read this feedback...
In the end, I am fine with not taking the 1st place trophy, sure it would have been nice, but in the end, I cant believe the difference in how I look between this contest and the last one, I have to keep going back to the pics to make sure thats me, its sure not what I see when I look in the mirror....
It was tough to blow off the next one, knowing he'll be there, and he cant get bigger in two weeks, but I could own his ass by coming in a little dryer(and the little extra water was my fault, I did shit I knew I wasnt supposed to do). But I keep thinking of stuff today that I have missed with my family in the last few months, and it keeps making me feel shittier and shittier, my son will only be this age once, and he's up to some seriously cool shit(18 months old). Realizing that he has gone from single words to basically sentences in the last few weeks, and I was too busy to see it, even though he was right in front of me....well I cant get that back....but I can make that up to him and my wife....
As soon as my body has a chance to clean out, and it will be a short one, I am hitting the offseason structural training with Laura Binetti, and will come back an absolute beast, my family always makes sure I have time to train, competing will just have to wait a while