Check this out

[chesty]

My best friend is also getting married and he wanted to check on his fiancee cause she started acting weird the last few days. She is pregnant and it is his baby, no questions there, but she has become very quiet almost to the point of ingnoring him. They used to talk on the phone all the time, and on ym when they were separated.

They had an engagement party Wed night and apparently all was cool thursday night when she went home. Friday, she had to go to the hospital, but he didn't know that. He was supposed to meet her at the airport for breakfast before she flew out to her home state to sign papers to sell her home.

So anyway, after he tried for 4 hours to get ahold of her, she calls and says she had to go to the emergency room for a nose bleed that would not stop and that she loves him and to call her when he gets the message. So he does, and they set up a lunch date. He cruises on over and receives another message that she has to go back for two more tests and to call her and that she wants to see him before he has to go and that she loves him.

Well, he tries for another five hours to get a hold of her and can't. He calls all of the hospitals in the area and none of them have had a patient with her name check in.

Then at about 1030 that night he gets a couple of txts and that is it. Then from that point forward, she hasn't replied to one of his txt, when they are on ym, she will just log out claiming it is the wireless. But when they would talk before on it, if she got logged out she would log back in or txt him what happened. She doesn't answer a single phone call or return his calls.

She has something to tell him about her, but wants to wait until she is ready and to trust her. So he does and says he will. But now he feels like he is being ignored and so forth. She says she is still marrying him and they are supposed to meet her parents and family in a couple of weeks.

So, he asks me to check her out and see if anything is up with her (con artist, what not) So, I do, he gives me the state she moved from and so I do a public records search for court cases in the superior court.

I find out that yes, she was married to the one guy she says is her ex and they got divorced 1 1/2 years ago.

But then, I find that she is still married to another guy, but has filed the papers in the same state she is from. I recognize the name she hyphenated to hers, because he was telling me how her emails had that name on them and she told him it was an old family joke.

I also find that she had filed a restraining order against the current guy for physical abuse just a few months prior to filing for the divorce which is still pending.

Now, my question is this, I believe she loves my friend and I know he loves her. Should I tell him this info or let her tell him. I know he doesn't like being lied to and it isn't like he just asked her to marry him, they are going to have a kid as well, so he can't just tell her to piss off for not being upfront with him.

I can understand her not wanting to say anything and hoping that it would have all been done soon and then she could have just stated she was married twice and not once. But why she just didn't say that to him at the beginning is bothersome and the fact that she lied about the email name when it was really her married name from the second marriage is where I have a problem. He doesn't like being lied to any more than I do.

I can understand getting divorced because of physical abuse and in the process meeting someone you do want to spend your life with and don't consider that cheating, but what I can't understand is why lie? If he is the one for you he will understand the process you are going through.

Now that she is pregnant she is in a real hurt locker, because he doesn't believe in birth's out of wedlock and wants to marry her before she starts showing. They have told everyone except her parents and their kids.

She had agreed to moving in in like 3 weeks (first weekend in June) and then getting married as soon afterwards as possible. If he pushes it who knows what she will do. But she needs to come clean with him and soon.

I don't know whether or not I should tell him or confront her without him knowing. I honestly believe that she does love him and wants to be with him for the rest of their lives, but things moved much quicker on the good side than she anticipated and is possibly freaking out.

What an f'd up sunday this became.

 

[HumorMe]

 

[Phenom78]

ahahahahah

He should though. She's crazy and a liar

 

[WarriorPL]

Can you confront her and tell he you know her secrets? This way you give her a choice to tell him, or you tell him yourself. Either way, your friend should know this before the wedding...

 

[HiDnGoD]

Weeellllllllllll, what I would do, if I were you, is try & get ahold of this chick, yourself. Tell her, her beau is getting antsy & she better come clean, tout suite.

 

[chesty]

That is what I was thinking, but how could I do that without her knowing he put me up to it. Just on the off chance she is trying to be upfront and things just went much faster than she anticipated.

On his end he has told his whole family, friends etc that they are going to get married and she is having his baby (not why they are getting married, that was decided before hand)

I do have a way out I think possibly and without having to lie and get her to cough it up

part of her yahoo handle is her first name and the rest of it contain the letters MRK

We have been trying to figure that out and he never asked her as he didn't really pay attention to it since most people just pick something that works

But her maiden name starts with M, her first married name starts with R and her hyphenated second married name starts with K.

I am gonna hit her up on that tonight if she comes online and see if I can get her to come clean or if she will lie some more.

 

[heatherrae]

You know, I would not tell her that I know, nor would I tell your friend just yet. I would see if she volunteers the truth to him or whether she is going to make up another lie to mask the one she already told. If she lies to mask the lie she told before, I would fill him in on the truth.

Lying about still being married is a MAJOR lie!!!! Very unfair. I would call the whole thing off if I were him.

On two different occassions, I had men lie to me about how many children they had. One told me he had 2 when he had three. The other told me he had one when he had two. I forgave both of them, but they both ended up being liars on much larger levels. Fact is, that is a big red flag into their personality. Lying is just like waking up in the morning and taking a pee. No big deal. I have learned my lesson, and if I caught a guy in this kind of lie ever again, I wouldn't even give him the time of day to explain.

He should run, not walk, away from this girl.

 

[chesty]

and what would he do about his baby? I mean she lied to him or omitted the facts if you will, so unless he wants to be a part of the baby's life how in the hell would he get out of that one! She says she won't have an abortion that is out of the question.

She has promised to tell him everything as soon as she is ready to and has asked him to be patient with her. I can understand the abusive aspects of the relationship and maybe she is still afraid of the guy and maybe afraid that my friend would do the same.

But shit, she is gonna start showing in another month and she told him she doesn't want to get married while she is pregnant unless it is important to him to be married before the child is born. I personally would go for being married prior to since he asked and she said yes before they knew they were gonna have a baby.

 

[Phenom78]

She's a shady operator. He should even question whether the kid is his. Guys are too quick to dismiss what women do that's wrong. If the situation was reversed and it was the guy behaving this shady, no one would even be debating what she should do.

 

[heatherrae]

phenom is right!