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Can't possibly get any worse

poohbear

New member
OFF TOPIC:

My day started ok and thought would end ok. I open the back door to let the dog out. what does he do, he finds a hole in the fence and runs away. I immediately go after him, leaving my 6 year old by himself. I spot the damn dog across a busy intersection. He sees me and runs further away. I tried walking faster and even trotted a few steps, but this big bulge in my tummy wouldn't let me. He was heading in the direction of the rail road and a very busy street. Thank goodness for all the farms in the area. I followed him into this person backyard. Aha! That barb wire fence should stop him. NOPE!! He manages to squeeze underneath. I almost have up hope. He started rubbing his body on the ground. Probably a barb caught him. He's stuck with all these cows, but I can't climb the two fences separating us. I thought about getting the car, but realized that would take too long and he would probably end up elsewhere. I pleaded with him and he finally came. He even approached me and slid under the fence. He's freakin' filthy.
Have any idea why he was rolling around on the dirt. I'll tell ya. He was rolling around in cow poop. I managed to hook his leash, but not without getting poop all over my hands.
When we started heading back, I had the urge to pee. Being pregnant, I had that urge every 10 minutes. Guess what? I lead him in the forest area and I squatted down like a pregnant woman would and took a pee. Luckily, no one was around. The walk back was very uncomfortable. My belly felt extremely heavy and flies surrounded us as if there was a pile of poop around.... oh wait a minute...
It was over an hour when we got back. I was scared of leaving my son all alone for that long. When I came in to call for him, there was no answer. After screaming out for him, he finally came out of his room. Whew!!
I had to give the dog a bath. There was no way he was going into the house like that. It took me another 30 minutes to clean him up. He's now tied up to a pole in the backyard.
By the way, I'm having the baby tomorrow (Friday, 31 Aug). Wish me luck
 
i sometimes have to chase my cat down the hallway in our building...

he just looks back at me meows as if to say "this way", takes a few steps, looks back meows... runs, meows, runs meows...

i just follow him laughing and cussing at the same time... he gets to the end of the hall and gives up...

no poop, fences, 6 year old or pregnacy involved in my story though...

pooh-- ya didn't pop on my bday :( oh well... hehe g'luck tomorrow, i'm assuming you'll be inducing?
 
If that happens again I say stay with the kid and let the dog fend for himself, especially if he keeps running away. An hour is too long to leave a 6 yr old alone.
 
Thank you all for your responses. I feel much better. I didn't know dogs like cow pies so much, Lobo. Sorry couldn't get him out on your b-day, Phem. ttlpg, didn't know I was going that long. The boy was fine. He was packing for tomorrow. NO, I do hope that I don't get worms. I washed my hands as soon as I got in the house. Thanks fles, spat, sas. Any guesses as to what time the baby is coming? We can start some kind of Poohbaby pool. Winner gets, .... oh I don't know I'll think of something.

Until Monday:)
 
Well, you'll have some great stories to tell the kid when its all over and done with! Let us know how it goes and good luck!
 
Oh my god, tomorrow!!

GOOD LUCK!! How wonderful!!!! It's surreal to be hearing from someone the day before something so momentous. She's gonna have a baby!

When my mother was delivering me, she was completely drugged up and all she kept talking about was "the tomatoes...." She had left some on the counter to ripen and was afraid they'd spoil.

All my life, I've been a tomato freak. I eat them like apples. Go thru pounds and pounds a week. Coincidence???

Your baby might grow up to be a Ph'D in fertilizer (cow poop) sciences or something.

Hey, I personally think that'd be cool!:D
 
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