Can the ladies explain this to me?

[javaguru]

Maybe the ladies can explain this to me. Why is it that women run when they meet a man and have a great connection? I've dated a few women and we had a great connection on the first date, to the point we're finishing each others thoughts, a really great date all around. Then they don't return phone calls or e-mails? WTF, when I have a great connection I'm more inclined to pursue dating or a relationship, not run, it just seems illogical and counter intuitive. i know we've all been hurt and getting emotionally involved carries a risk but WTF? Mind you, these ae educated professional women, not twenty two year old ding bats?

 

[KillahBee]

damn, this is usually the other way around, no? usually they jump in without thinking and it gets bad.

I am useless here. and also not a woman

 

[hotzie]

damn, this is usually the other way around, no? usually they jump in without thinking and it gets bad.

I am useless here. and also not a woman

wtf ??

 

[sawastea]

I am useless here. and also not a woman

Disagreed.

 

[KillahBee]

figures, the two dudes that hit on me constantly are trying to convince themselves it's normal.

 

[jackangel]

I am useless here

agreed

 

[javaguru]

Hey...quit hijacking my thread before I go coldblue and make a one hundred new ones!

 

[KillahBee]

sorry java, this one got fucked up right quick.

 

[Gymgurl]

There are many reasons.....some thoughts here......

1. your good looking so might assume your a player
2. Something freaked them out about you
3. they already have a boyfriend
4. didn't want anything to serious and you seemed way to intense....

Just some of my thoughts lol

 

[jackangel]

btw javaguru, i'm pretty sure it's your fear and mistrust of the lord jesus christ which causes you trouble now.

these lovely, intelligent, faithful women can sense your errant heathenism and are rightfully afraid.

 

[sawastea]

agreed

 

[nycgirl]

damn, this is usually the other way around, no? usually they jump in without thinking and it gets bad.

I am useless here. and also not a woman

No, it happens. I've been there. They aren't ready and would likely end up hurting & fooling you if they forced themselves to be in something they weren't ready for. I did this to someone. I tried, but I wasn't ready for the love he wanted to give me. Yes, it had to do with some drama I experienced. I broke up with him on Valentine's Day. I took myself out of the dating game for awhile and didn't return until I was ready.

Java, if they are running away, its a good thing. They aren't ready to give themselves to you, to love you, and to be completely raw & honest.

 

[javaguru]

There are many reasons.....some thoughts here......

1. your good looking so might assume your a player
2. Something freaked them out about you
3. they already have a boyfriend
4. didn't want anything to serious and you seemed way to intense....

Just some of my thoughts lol

I would like to think it's number one. I am intense but I don't exhibit "player" qualities other than just being a "good catch." I have had women admit they would never get serious with me because, "I would be afraid you wouldn't come home to me some night." I've also had an attractive, intelligent, educated and successful woman tell me I was too young and good looking, she was looking for someone older and less attractive. Apparently she wanted a guy who wouldn't cheat and thought she could "control." Ironically, these "controlled" guys typically end up cheating with a less attractive and desirable woman than the one they're with, the more you try to control someone the faster they slip through your grasp.

 

[Spartacus]

There are many reasons.....some thoughts here......

1. your good looking so might assume your a player

and they "know" you're above thier leaque,even slightly, and feel they'll be dumped in the future
if the guy is below thier leaque they'll go forward because they know they'll control the relationship
and be dumping him

 

[javaguru]

btw javaguru, i'm pretty sure it's your fear and mistrust of the lord jesus christ which causes you trouble now.

these lovely, intelligent, faithful women can sense your errant heathenism and are rightfully afraid.

Get off my thread.... I tend to date women who are educated and intelligent, we tend to have similar beliefs..spirituality over the intellectual and moral slavery of organized religion.

 

[Spartacus]

I would like to think it's number one. I am intense but I don't exhibit "player" qualities other than just being a "good catch." I have had women admit they would never get serious with me because, "I would be afraid you wouldn't come home to me some night." I've also had an attractive, intelligent, educated and successful woman tell me I was too young and good looking, she was looking for someone older and less attractive. Apparently she wanted a guy who wouldn't cheat and thought she could "control." Ironically, these "controlled" guys typically end up cheating with a less attractive and desirable woman than the one they're with, the more you try to control someone the faster they slip through your grasp.

exactly

 

[nycgirl]

Whatever the reason, I think the fact that they are running from you (you are a good catch), is a good thing and you shouldn't dwell on it.

 

[javaguru]

"Ah Women, they make the highs higher and the lows more frequent."-Nietzsche

 

[javaguru]

Whatever the reason, I think the fact that they are running from you (you are a good catch), is a good thing and you shouldn't dwell on it.

I concur....bullets dodged. However, I suffer from a desire to understand people and I just don't get it. I find it hard to understand why people are afraid of success too....guess I'm just not wired that way....

 

[sublime35]

my post from the other thread:

"my guess is that that are afraid that something like that could develop into a great relationship and are afraid of commitment, despite what they say. People may talk about wanting to find the right person and settling down but when they get into something that could be the real thing, they run."

 

[javaguru]

my post from the other thread:

"my guess is that that are afraid that something like that could develop into a great relationship and are afraid of commitment, despite what they say. People may talk about wanting to find the right person and settling down but when they get into something that could be the real thing, they run."

I agree, I'm just not wired with that reflex. I just don't understand why someone would be so afraid of getting something everyone seems to be looking for; Especially when it seems hard to find someone with whom you genuinely "connect."

 

[biteme]

Maybe your breath stinks and you're not aware of it? Bad breath and you don't get a 2nd date.

 

[nycgirl]

I agree, I'm just not wired with that reflex. I just don't understand why someone would be so afraid of getting something everyone seems to be looking for; Especially when it seems hard to find someone with whom you genuinely "connect."

See you view it as success (because of what you can offer & bring to the table). . . they view it as a potential failure (because of their emotional issues, insecurities, etc.)

When they rewire themselves, then they will be willing to take that chance.

 

[javaguru]

Maybe your breath stinks and you're not aware of it? Bad breath and you don't get a 2nd date.

I carry altoids at all times...minty fresh!

 

[biteme]

I just show up on my horse and take them away. Women can't resist a man on a horse.

 

[TC2]

No, it happens. I've been there. They aren't ready and would likely end up hurting & fooling you if they forced themselves to be in something they weren't ready for. I did this to someone. I tried, but I wasn't ready for the love he wanted to give me. Yes, it had to do with some drama I experienced. I broke up with him on Valentine's Day. I took myself out of the dating game for awhile and didn't return until I was ready.

Java, if they are running away, its a good thing. They aren't ready to give themselves to you, to love you, and to be completely raw & honest.

You broke up with someone on valentines's day??


that's a pretty fucked up time to do it, did you wait till after he took you out and bought you something?

 

[nycgirl]

You broke up with someone on valentines's day??

that's a pretty fucked up time to do it, did you wait till after he took you out and bought you something?

It was during dinner and I paid half.

I never said it was pretty. Yes, it was harsh. That's why I removed myself from the dating game; took some time to grow and work on things.

 

[TC2]

It was during dinner and I paid half.

I never said it was pretty. Yes, it was harsh. That's why I removed myself from the dating game; took some time to grow and work on things.

you couldnt have waited one day??

Do things ALWAYS have to be dramatic for women?

 

[nycgirl]

you couldnt have waited one day??
Do things ALWAYS have to be dramatic for women?

I waited too long already.

Dude, I wasn't trying to be dramatic. Those that know me, know that's not my game.

No yelling, no tears, it just came out. It wasn't planned. What would one day have done? He was okay, he knew my heart wasn't there.

 

[superqt4u2nv]

You got that heart breaker look to you will send them running at any age.

 

[musclemom]

Speculation is bullsh*t ... why don't you just ask them? Call them up out of the blue and say, "hi, remember me? I really enjoyed our date but you didn't want to see me anymore, and that's becoming a trend in my life. What am I doing wrong??? I'd really appreciate your honest input."

What's the worst that could happen? She hangs up on you (well, no I guess the worst is that she answers with total, brutal honesty ...) The best ... maybe you get date #2

You're attractive, articulate, I'm assuming gainfully employed, so either you're doing something wrong/sending the wrong signals OR you have bad taste in women and you're subconsciously going after women who aren't interested in a relationship.

Just a thought. You know how the ladies on this board feel about you Java

 

[TC2]

I waited too long already.

Dude, I wasn't trying to be dramatic. Those that know me, know that's not my game.

No yelling, no tears, it just came out. It wasn't planned. What would one day have done? He was okay, he knew my heart wasn't there.

seriously....of all the days in the year, you break up with him on v-day.

one day would've done alot.

 

[javaguru]

Speculation is bullsh*t ... why don't you just ask them? Call them up out of the blue and say, "hi, remember me? I really enjoyed our date but you didn't want to see me anymore, and that's becoming a trend in my life. What am I doing wrong??? I'd really appreciate your honest input."

What's the worst that could happen? She hangs up on you (well, no I guess the worst is that she answers with total, brutal honesty ...) The best ... maybe you get date #2

You're attractive, articulate, I'm assuming gainfully employed, so either you're doing something wrong/sending the wrong signals OR you have bad taste in women and you're subconsciously going after women who aren't interested in a relationship.

Just a thought. You know how the ladies on this board feel about you Java

Kind of hard when people screen calls or don't return them.

 

[Raina]

I think some people just don't want to be happy. They say they do but find some sort of amusement in being miserable.

 

[nycgirl]

seriously....of all the days in the year, you break up with him on v-day.
one day would've done alot.

Does it look bad? Yes. You are assuming it was planned, it wasn't. It would not have meant a thing if I waited a day or two. It just happened to occur on a date that was on Valentine's Day. I was sitting at the table, and it just came out.

As I stated in the first post, I was not ready for the situation, learned a valuable lesson; worked on improving myself & removed myself from the dating game.

He moved on just fine to a beautiful woman that at the time (I haven't spoke to him in 2 years) could give him what he needed and wanted.

 

[hanselthecaretaker]

This is why I avoid pursuing women. When things seem great you get blindsided with some excuse.

And when things aren't so great and you couldn't care less about seeing her again, they come around. Go figure.

 

[musclemom]

Kind of hard when people screen calls or don't return them.

Send a letter. C'mon be creative here.

 

[javaguru]

Send a letter. C'mon be creative here.

They don't reply to e-mails either...lol

 

[Smurfy]

Maybe the ladies can explain this to me. Why is it that women run when they meet a man and have a great connection? I've dated a few women and we had a great connection on the first date, to the point we're finishing each others thoughts, a really great date all around. Then they don't return phone calls or e-mails? WTF, when I have a great connection I'm more inclined to pursue dating or a relationship, not run, it just seems illogical and counter intuitive. i know we've all been hurt and getting emotionally involved carries a risk but WTF? Mind you, these ae educated professional women, not twenty two year old ding bats?

dont worry. youre smart and hot. you have a million opportunities. why waste mental effort on someone who cant or wont see that?

 

[musclemom]

They don't reply to e-mails either...lol

Jesus

Umm, just my opinion mind you, but you're offending them or freaking them out somehow.

If they really liked you/were attracted to you they wouldn't duck you that bad. The only time I ever iced guys like that was when a) they were a sloppy octopus on the first date b) they were talking about being in love with me/marriage/kids ... on the first date.

Intensity, passion, that's one thing, I've never avoided a man who had zest for life and made it very clear he found me attractive. I have run like hell from guys who seemed like they could become obsessed nutjobs with very little encouragement.

 

[Whiskey]

Maybe your breath stinks and you're not aware of it? Bad breath and you don't get a 2nd date.

Anug. I think that's how you spell it. I "ONCE" went out with a girl who's breath was SO nasty, I had to keep rolling down the window. It's nasty. Anug isn't a good thing. She didnt' know she had it

Whiskey

 

[javaguru]

Jesus

Umm, just my opinion mind you, but you're offending them or freaking them out somehow.

If they really liked you/were attracted to you they wouldn't duck you that bad. The only time I ever iced guys like that was when a) they were a sloppy octopus on the first date b) they were talking about being in love with me/marriage/kids ... on the first date.

Intensity, passion, that's one thing, I've never avoided a man who had zest for life and made it very clear he found me attractive. I have run like hell from guys who seemed like they could become obsessed nutjobs with very little encouragement.

Well, they're not like direct e-mails addressing the issue, just general "How ya doing." I figure that if they aren't mature enough to give me a call saying "I don't think it's going to work." Then they probably wouldn't give me a straight answer anyway. Trust me, I've analyzed myself thoroughly and come to the conclusion I'm not doing things that are obviously wrong/creepy/clingy. this has been reinforced by some of what women have volunteered. Like, I'm too desirable and they're afraid I would cheat, They want a less attractive guy so they have "hand"..that kind of stuff. It just boggles my mind....

 

[musclemom]

Well, they're not like direct e-mails addressing the issue, just general "How ya doing." I figure that if they aren't mature enough to give me a call saying "I don't think it's going to work." Then they probably wouldn't give me a straight answer anyway. Trust me, I've analyzed myself thoroughly and come to the conclusion I'm not doing things that are obviously wrong/creepy/clingy. this has been reinforced by some of what women have volunteered. Like, I'm too desirable and they're afraid I would cheat, They want a less attractive guy so they have "hand"..that kind of stuff. It just boggles my mind....

Assuming this was stated by at least 3 or more women ... your eyes might wander too much (literally). Generally speaking a woman doesn't think you're a player unless you give her a reason to THINK you're a player. You're doing something, body language, verbally, eyes, something is throwing up a very BIG stop sign.

I think this "You're too attractive for me," could possibly be a VERY nice way of saying, "Jesus, you're hot, you're sweet, you're smart and I'm so terrified that I'm going to fall in love with you and you're going to hurt me because I'm sitting here at dinner and you're sitting across from me and you keep glancing over at that hot waitress." And scientists have discovered that some men do look at other women without even being aware of it.

I mean, who the hell thinks a guy is too attractive? C'mon. Let's be practical here.

I had a brief thing with a ummm, gorgeous guy. We had awesome chemistry ... I could have fallen so very hard for him. Right up front he told me he had no interest in monogamy, and yet in the next sentence he told me he hadn't met a woman he felt he could be so honest with ... it was very hard. I was much younger then, more resilient. The idea of having a summer fling-only with a guy I found unbearably attractive was much more appealing when I was 18. 22 years later, I just don't think I could bear crying for 12 hours straight again. The agony and the ecstasy, so to speak.

And the other thing, you could subconsciously be picking the same type of woman over and over again and not even be aware of it. Without knowing you or the ladies, it's a tough call.

 

[javaguru]

Assuming this was stated by at least 3 or more women ... your eyes might wander too much (literally). Generally speaking a woman doesn't think you're a player unless you give her a reason to THINK you're a player. You're doing something, body language, verbally, eyes, something is throwing up a very BIG stop sign.

I think this "You're too attractive for me," could possibly be a VERY nice way of saying, "Jesus, you're hot, you're sweet, you're smart and I'm so terrified that I'm going to fall in love with you and you're going to hurt me because I'm sitting here at dinner and you're sitting across from me and you keep glancing over at that hot waitress." And scientists have discovered that some men do look at other women without even being aware of it.

I mean, who the hell thinks a guy is too attractive? C'mon. Let's be practical here.

I had a brief thing with a ummm, gorgeous guy. We had awesome chemistry ... I could have fallen so very hard for him. Right up front he told me he had no interest in monogamy, and yet in the next sentence he told me he hadn't met a woman he felt he could be so honest with ... it was very hard. I was much younger then, more resilient. The idea of having a summer fling-only with a guy I found unbearably attractive was much more appealing when I was 18. 22 years later, I just don't think I could bear crying for 12 hours straight again. The agony and the ecstasy, so to speak.

And the other thing, you could subconsciously be picking the same type of woman over and over again and not even be aware of it. Without knowing you or the ladies, it's a tough call.

This stuff only seems to happen with the one's I REALLY connect with, 99.9% of my dates are very normal. I don't have a wandering eye, some of my dates have pointed out the fact they like I give them 100% attention. These are literally dates where we have common values, beliefs and literally finish each others thoughts and sentences. Thinking back, the one woman did make the comment, "Maybe we're too much alike for this to work." I thought she was half joking when she said it but that may have been her actual feelings on the matter. Of the two most recent, One sent me a text on my phone telling me sweet dreams and what a great time she had. The other sent me an e-mail the next day and wrote the same.

 

[silverbackn]

No, it happens. I've been there. They aren't ready and would likely end up hurting & fooling you if they forced themselves to be in something they weren't ready for. I did this to someone. I tried, but I wasn't ready for the love he wanted to give me. Yes, it had to do with some drama I experienced. I broke up with him on Valentine's Day. I took myself out of the dating game for awhile and didn't return until I was ready.

Java, if they are running away, its a good thing. They aren't ready to give themselves to you, to love you, and to be completely raw & honest.

Yep, I totally agree!

 

[musclemom]

This stuff only seems to happen with the one's I REALLY connect with, 99.9% of my dates are very normal. I don't have a wandering eye, some of my dates have pointed out the fact they like I give them 100% attention. These are literally dates where we have common values, beliefs and literally finish each others thoughts and sentences. Thinking back, the one woman did make the comment, "Maybe we're too much alike for this to work." I thought she was half joking when she said it but that may have been her actual feelings on the matter. Of the two most recent, One sent me a text on my phone telling me sweet dreams and what a great time she had. The other sent me an e-mail the next day and wrote the same.

That could be a very telling thing.

There's this STUPID, STUPID myth that "opposites attract." WRONG, WRONG, WRONG. Oh, they do attract, but they don't last. People who are extremely ALIKE, shared values, shared point of view, THAT's the relationship that will last (that's what EHarmony is all about!)

Have you ever been married before? Sorry, that's too much. The reason I ask is that when a guy gets to be over 30 you start wondering if he's never been married WHY hasn't he been married, as well.

 

[javaguru]

That could be a very telling thing.

There's this STUPID, STUPID myth that "opposites attract." WRONG, WRONG, WRONG. Oh, they do attract, but they don't last. People who are extremely ALIKE, shared values, shared point of view, THAT's the relationship that will last (that's what EHarmony is all about!)

Have you ever been married before?

Yep, I was married for 3.5 years we dated for two before getting married and lived together one of those years. We were opposites so I can appreciate your post. Everything was fine when we were dating, soon after marriage she became very unhappy and disillusioned. I did change like she expected I would after the marriage; She expected me to stop working out, become Mr. home improvent, and a neat freak..it was kind of strange to me. We actually went to couples counseling. She wanted to quit after three sessions, the counselor didn't take her side like she thought he would and told her she was probably too "high maintenance" for me and maybe we should get a divorce...:LMAO:

There are pictures of her in my album with the family pictures, the brunette in the bikkini..http://photos.yahoo.com/javaguru01

 

[Quadsweeps Sister]

No, it happens. I've been there. They aren't ready and would likely end up hurting & fooling you if they forced themselves to be in something they weren't ready for. I did this to someone. I tried, but I wasn't ready for the love he wanted to give me. Yes, it had to do with some drama I experienced. I broke up with him on Valentine's Day. I took myself out of the dating game for awhile and didn't return until I was ready.

Java, if they are running away, its a good thing. They aren't ready to give themselves to you, to love you, and to be completely raw & honest.

Somebody broke up with me once on Valentine's day...thought we were going out to dinner and well....we didn't.

You cruel and heartless woman....

 

[musclemom]

Yep, I was married for 3.5 years we dated for two before getting married and lived together one of those years. We were opposites so I can appreciate your post. Everything was fine when we were dating, soon after marriage she became very unhappy and disillusioned. I did change like she expected I would after the marriage; She expected me to stop working out, become Mr. home improvent, and a neat freak..it was kind of strange to me. We actually went to couples counseling. She wanted to quit after three sessions, the counselor didn't take her side like she thought he would and told her she was probably too "high maintenance" for me and maybe we should get a divorce...:LMAO:

There are pictures of her in my album with the family pictures, the brunette in the bikkini..http://photos.yahoo.com/javaguru01

I've looked through your albums. Saw the ex (she's real cute), saw the fam., saw the puppy and the kitty. In a couple of pics he looks kind of wolfish

I DO SO wish you'd get some new pictures with a clean mirror particularly that last torso shot. You know you should really redo that one but stand just a little further back from the mirror when you take it ... damn bathroom cabinet gets in the way

Oh WTF was I going to say, totally lost my freaking train of thought ...

 

[javaguru]

I've looked through your albums. Saw the ex (she's real cute), saw the fam., saw the puppy and the kitty. In a couple of pics he looks kind of wolfish

I DO SO wish you'd get some new pictures with a clean mirror particularly that last torso shot. You know you should really redo that one but stand just a little further back from the mirror when you take it ... damn bathroom cabinet gets in the way

Oh WTF was I going to say, totally lost my freaking train of thought ...

That's the cropped torso picture, I have the uncropped one safely on my HD. Nitchske is a shepherd mix, he had a benign tumor removed last year, it's a very common type among wolves, so it's probable. My ex never worked out, except rollerblading and her diet consisted of cereal + soy milk as well as Ben and Jerry's. What was I thinking....we were like night and day but best friends nevertheless.

 

[javaguru]

I'll probably purchase a cheap stand for my camera to make it easier next time I take pics.

 

[Spartacus]

I didn't break up with a woman before V-day
and I had decided on my course of action late january
I took her daughter and her friend to the mall and bought them nice leather jackets
hell it was a good sale and got one for myself and my gal
then on V-day she went all-out on gifts
I felt bad as she wasn't too comfortable wealth wise and had 2 children w/o benefit of child support
I learned my lesson
don't carry a dead relationship into february

 

[javaguru]

I think one of the worst things to happen to male-female interaction was the popularity of "The Rules" type books. Basically, telling women to adopt the behavior they hate in men to manipulate a man into "liking" them. I always thought it was funny that not one of the bitch's who wrote book were even close to marriage. The minute I feel I'm being "gamed" i dump the chick; Do they really think I'm that stupid? I even tell them upfront I don't play games and will not tolerate it.

 

[nycgirl]

I think one of the worst things to happen to male-female interaction was the popularity of "The Rules" type books. Basically, telling women to adopt the behavior they hate in men to manipulate a man into "liking" them. I always thought it was funny that not one of the bitch's who wrote book were even close to marriage. The minute I feel I'm being "gamed" i dump the chick; Do they really think I'm that stupid? I even tell them upfront I don't play games and will not tolerate it.

Oh, it goes deeper than that. I blame the feminist movement for a lot of things. I'll save that rant for later.

I never read any of those books, because I can't relate to them at all (for many reasons).

 

[bicepts101]

Do things ALWAYS have to be dramatic for women?

yes indeed....its gets their pussies wet

 

[Smurfy]

There ARE NO fucking rules. It's human nature. These things cant be explained in chapters.

Jav, the way I see it is, you have WAY more going for you off the bat than most people do (men and women combined) so you are actually at an advantage. You need to find someone who appreciates and respects you (and vice versa of course). Thetr ARE people out there who will, too.

 

[javaguru]

There ARE NO fucking rules. It's human nature. These things cant be explained in chapters.

Jav, the way I see it is, you have WAY more going for you off the bat than most people do (men and women combined) so you are actually at an advantage. You need to find someone who appreciates and respects you (and vice versa of course). Thetr ARE people out there who will, too.

Got any suggestions for specific people....I'm at a loss..

 

[bicepts101]

I think some people just don't want to be happy. They say they do but find some sort of amusement in being miserable.

i agree

i also think that some women accually think they want to be happy. but when they find that perfect man for them they ignor the signs of a soon or distant break up and fuck it all up. when they could have reflected on past confrontations and tried to fix it. after they tell their freinds how much of an asshole he was and all that mumbojumbo. (i speak of women cause i dont care what men do cause i dont date them)

 

[bicepts101]

dont worry. youre smart and hot. you have a million opportunities. why waste mental effort on someone who cant or wont see that?

exactly but at the same time i understand him....he just cant figure out why these "good dates" arent "good dates" if u know what i mean. it would be eating at me also

 

[javaguru]

i agree

i also think that some women accually think they want to be happy. but when they find that perfect man for them they ignor the signs of a soon or distant and fuck it all up. when they could have reflected on past confrontations and tried to fix it. after they tell their freinds how much of an asshole he was and all that mumbojumbo. (i speak of women cause i dont care what men do cause i dont date them)

My ex-wife used to trash talk me to her co-workers who didn't know me. Those who met thought I was a stand up guy. Those who never met me would comment to her, "Why are you with that loser, you can do better..I have a friend..." Then she ended up defending me against the accusations she made!

 

[Smurfy]

IMO any woman who trash talks her man makes herself look like a complete and utter moron for being with him in the 1st place.

I'm lucky to have a great husband and I want others to know how much I appreciate him. However, if the tables were turned, and my husband was an asshole, well I certainly would not be jumping at the chance to tell people because it only reflects poorly on me

 

[Smurfy]

Besides, there is almost nothing more annoying than a woman trash talking her man/men. Bitch bitch bitch moan moan moan but do nothing about it. Fucking do something or shut the fuck up with your whining!

 

[bicepts101]

My ex-wife used to trash talk me to her co-workers who didn't know me. Those who met thought I was a stand up guy. Those who never met me would comment to her, "Why are you with that loser, you can do better..I have a friend..." Then she ended up defending me against the accusations she made!

unfuckin beleivable bro....my dad always tought me think before u act...

 

[nycgirl]

OH, they won't. Because then they will be lonely.

I'm tired of female acquaintances approaching me saying they are going to leave their boyfriends, ask for my help/advice, waste my fucking time, and then stay with the same asshole they bitch about.

I don't even want to help or hear any bitchin' any more.

Smurf, you're right, either put your foot down and do something, or shut up.

 

[hanselthecaretaker]

My ex-wife used to trash talk me to her co-workers who didn't know me. Those who met thought I was a stand up guy. Those who never met me would comment to her, "Why are you with that loser, you can do better..I have a friend..." Then she ended up defending me against the accusations she made!

This is why I hate gossip. No outsider knows the full story, so they have no business even commenting on such.

I have to laugh at those love and relationship "experts" on tv, radio, etc that answer the people's questions who write or call in. The jilted lover will give some half ass explanation (usually one sided) of what the problem is, and he or she will lay it out for them saying this is how it's going to be, and these people treat that advice like it's scripture.

Nothing in love is that cut and dried.
How many people know how to think for themselves anymore?

 

[bicepts101]

This is why I hate gossip. No outsider knows the full story, so they have no business even commenting on such.

I have to laugh at those love and relationship "experts" on tv, radio, etc that answer the people's questions who write or call in. The jilted lover will give some half ass explanation (usually one sided) of what the problem is, and he or she will lay it out for them saying this is how it's going to be, and these people treat that advice like it's scripture.

Nothing in love is that cut and dried.
How many people know how to think for themselves anymore?

HUH!!!????

...but.........i thought Dr. Phil had the answers to everything??!!....this is bullshit!!

 

[javaguru]

My ex was shocked when the marriage therapist didn't "take her side." It was always about her "being right." She's a good person and we were best friends..she just had "unreasonable" expectations from marriage.

 

[Frisky]

I've done that a time or two, more of a, I don't want to like someone and then get hurt type of thing though. I've had a few men i just clicked with right off, everything perfect but In my eyes.. i was setting my self up for some major disappointment. So I bailed and quick.

You guys aren't supposed to be perfect, tee hee.. that just sets off an alarm

 

[Spartacus]

my ex used to trash talk about me at her work
a month or so after the divorce me and some buds were at a restaurant
our waitress used to work with shannon
dude told her "he's shannon's x husband"
she "I'm so sorry"

 

[javaguru]

I've done that a time or two, more of a, I don't want to like someone and then get hurt type of thing though. I've had a few men i just clicked with right off, everything perfect but In my eyes.. i was setting my self up for some major disappointment. So I bailed and quick.

You guys aren't supposed to be perfect, tee hee.. that just sets off an alarm

OMG..I've been called "The perfect Guy" by women I dated...Actually, I took a personality survey meant to match you up with others. I got back," No major personality flaws were noted, you may want to develop some because not having personality flaws may be viewed as a flaw." WTF!

 

[nycgirl]

Have you ever thought about importing your women? I think you should look East.

 

[Frisky]

OMG..I've been called "The perfect Guy" by women I dated...Actually, I took a personality survey meant to match you up with others. I got back," No major personality flaws were noted, you may want to develop some because not having personality flaws may be viewed as a flaw." WTF!

lol

isn't that the suck! I've done the same thing and got burned... then I decided to not be so damn giving, etc.

I've met a few guys that were that way too, and its not that they aren't attractive and all that good stuff, but sometimes we women need authority (omg, i just said that) Seems women are more attracted to men that have a tad bit of a prick in them... why? I'm stumped.. i dunno LOL

Men are the same too though, if you get the perfect woman you won't stick around cause its too good. Learned my lesson

 

[javaguru]

Have you ever thought about importing your women? I think you should look East.

Well, I'm desperate....but they only want green cards...MY KINGDOM FOR A GOOD WOMAN! (One I can have a real relationship with..no long distance crap)

 

[nycgirl]

Well, I'm desperate....but they only want green cards...MY KINGDOM FOR A GOOD WOMAN! (One I can have a real relationship with..no long distance crap)

Oh, I didn't mean Asia!! I meant the East Coast.

So, no long distance. hmmm.

Don't be desperate. Be patient. She will cross your path.

 

[javaguru]

I'm just pissed people don't make the right decisions..as in the ones that are logical to me..

 

[nycgirl]

Spoken like someone in the legal field.

 

[musclemom]

I'll probably purchase a cheap stand for my camera to make it easier next time I take pics.

Just promise to let me know when you update that album ...

(damn fool women who don't want a second date with you, IMO)

Sh*t, if your gonna kick a guys a** to the curb let him know why.

 

[javaguru]

Spoken like someone in the legal field.

Law School did change the way I think..for the better I hope...

 

[nycgirl]

Law School did change the way I think..for the better I hope...

I'm sure it did.

Have you ever thought that maybe you are too logical??

When I use to get into a discussion with my ex, he would say "don't play that lawyer game with me." I didn't get it until someone said something similar not to long ago. (I'm a paralegal, btw).

 

[BUBBLES]

They run because there is something worng with the guy (ie looks, he said the wrong thing during their date, flirted unknowinlgy, ate like a pig, burped, interrupted her while she talked, your sense of fashion is weird, you cannot stop talking about yourself etc etc etc) and they think they can get someone better or they are not ready for committment. She is not that into you.

Usually an educated woman won't tell you why she does not want you because she is being polite. Anyway maybe the guy she has been interested in all along came back and he now wants her.

Most of the time the woman is not that into the man if she is not returning the phonecalls after a "great date" and I am speaking from experience. Even the voice of a man can be a turn off.

 

[javaguru]

I'm sure it did.

Have you ever thought that maybe you are too logical??

When I use to get into a discussion with my ex, he would say "don't play that lawyer game with me." I didn't get it until someone said something similar not to long ago. (I'm a paralegal, btw).

My ex-wife claimed she could never win an argument with me(true). But she was wiley and went with I "feel" in her arguments...hard to counter feelings with logic. I took logic and debate classes as my math requirements in college; I am hard to beat...lol

 

[HS Lifter]

They run because there is something worng with the guy (ie looks, he said the wrong thing during their date, flirted unknowinlgy, ate like a pig, burped, interrupted her while she talked, your sense of fashion is weird, you cannot stop talking about yourself etc etc etc) and they think they can get someone better or they are not ready for committment. She is not that into you.

Usually an educated woman won't tell you why she does not want you because she is being polite. Anyway maybe the guy she has been interested in all along came back and he now wants her.

Most of the time the woman is not that into the man if she is not returning the phonecalls after a "great date" and I am speaking from experience. Even the voice of a man can be a turn off.

For all the guys out there, all of the above is ignored depending on the size of your wallet.

 

[superqt4u2nv]

Well, I'm desperate....but they only want green cards...MY KINGDOM FOR A GOOD WOMAN! (One I can have a real relationship with..no long distance crap)

Please sweety any girl with two eyes and a brain in her head would see you as more then just a green card.

 

[musclemom]

I'm sure it did.

Have you ever thought that maybe you are too logical??

When I use to get into a discussion with my ex, he would say "don't play that lawyer game with me." I didn't get it until someone said something similar not to long ago. (I'm a paralegal, btw).

My ex-wife claimed she could never win an argument with me(true). But she was wiley and went with I "feel" in her arguments...hard to counter feelings with logic. I took logic and debate classes as my math requirements in college; I am hard to beat...lol

EF Hook-Up EF Hook-Up EF Hook-Up EF Hook-Up EF Hook-Up

Your both single, you both love dogs, you're both hot, you're both into weights, your both smart as sh*t and in the legal field. PERFECT!

 

[Spartacus]

They run because there is something worng with the guy (ie looks, he said the wrong thing during their date, flirted unknowinlgy, ate like a pig, burped, interrupted her while she talked, your sense of fashion is weird, you cannot stop talking about yourself etc etc etc) and they think they can get someone better or they are not ready for committment. She is not that into you.

Usually an educated woman won't tell you why she does not want you because she is being polite. Anyway maybe the guy she has been interested in all along came back and he now wants her.

Most of the time the woman is NOT THAT INTO YOU and I am speaking from experience. Even the voice of a man can be a turn off.

such mannerisms as "eating like a pig" are positive points in a discriminating women's mind
it's evidence of not having sent a "representative" for yourself to the date
it's "you"
granted she has to cull other ques together to decide

 

[javaguru]

They run because there is something worng with the guy (ie looks, he said the wrong thing during their date, flirted unknowinlgy, ate like a pig, burped, interrupted her while she talked, your sense of fashion is weird, you cannot stop talking about yourself etc etc etc) and they think they can get someone better or they are not ready for committment. She is not that into you.

Usually an educated woman won't tell you why she does not want you because she is being polite. Anyway maybe the guy she has been interested in all along came back and he now wants her.

Most of the time the woman is not that into the man if she is not returning the phonecalls after a "great date" and I am speaking from experience. Even the voice of a man can be a turn off.

I understand that...I'm talking about the rare experiences when all the signs say you are 100% compatible and all their body language and actions agree. Why do they run..when in their own mind you are so compatible? Are they afraid of being hurt...women have told me I'm "too good loking" to trust in a serious relationship.It boggles my mind....

 

[nycgirl]

EF Hook-Up EF Hook-Up EF Hook-Up EF Hook-Up EF Hook-Up

Your both single, you both love dogs, you're both hot, you're both into weights, your both smart as sh*t and in the legal field. PERFECT!

OH, NO . . . I'm taken.

Oh, my, you almost made me choke.

When I meant head East, I wasn't referring to me. lol

 

[BUBBLES]

EF Hook-Up EF Hook-Up EF Hook-Up EF Hook-Up EF Hook-Up

Your both single, you both love dogs, you're both hot, you're both into weights, your both smart as sh*t and in the legal field. PERFECT!

If you are both single and have all the attributes MM said then this should work out between the two of you.

If it does not you two have to be post up why it didn't work out fo all to learn.

 

[Frisky]

i HATE to argue.. LOL, but my gosh i love to win. Have to have the last word.. so I tend to just avoid an argument at all cost.

 

[javaguru]

EF is all about the drama...George IS a marketing genius!

 

[Spartacus]

top "tier" gals get so sick and fuckin' tired of fake and embellished behavior

 

[javaguru]

i HATE to argue.. LOL, but my gosh i love to win. Have to have the last word.. so I tend to just avoid an argument at all cost.

Lies ..damned lies and statistics...erzulie..you love it..so quit!

 

[Frisky]

EF is all about the drama...George IS a marketing genius!

drama and tits, gotta love the tits.. hell even i love the tits

 

[BUBBLES]

I understand that...I'm talking about the rare experiences when all the signs say you are 100% compatible and all their body language and actions agree. Why do they run..when in their own mind you are so compatible? Are they afraid of being hurt...women have told me I'm "too good loking" to trust in a serious relationship.It boggles my mind....

She is NOT telling you everything. You studied law. You know that everything may seem right yet she is not making the move.

No woman in her right mind will give up on someone who is intelligent, good looking and has the right manners.

What if she is rich and the guy is not. Maybe she is not ready to split her fortune with someone poorer.

 

[nycgirl]

top "tier" gals get so sick and fuckin' tired of fake and embellished behavior

Strongly agreed.

 

[javaguru]

drama and tits, gotta love the tits.. hell even i love the tits

Then show'em.....I showed you mine!

 

[Frisky]

Strongly agreed.

double that

 

[javaguru]

She is NOT telling you everything. You studied law. You know that everything may seem right yet she is not making the move.

No woman in her right mind will give up on someone who is intelligent, good looking and has the right manners.

What if she is rich and the guy is not. Maybe she is not ready to split her fortune with someone poorer.

That's the problem...with the last two I was higher on the hot scale, not to toot my own horn. One was a glorified admin and the other is a teacher... from the view of society I'm a total catch for both...

 

[musclemom]

OH, NO . . . I'm taken.

Oh, my, you almost made me choke.

When I meant head East, I wasn't referring to me. lol

I'm sorry I'm an idiot, NYC, I didn't think you were hinting (I don't get the impression you're the kind of girl who hints, actually ) I honestly thought you were single! I hope there's no need to pull out the Heimlich maneuver

Java's a cutie, trust me, check his album

I'd hurt him good myself but I'm happily married ... I was just thinking we could fix Java up with one of our own since regular biotches don't seem to appreciate him ... and at least if he went out with an EF lady and only got one date out of it he'd get a straight answer as to WTF is wrong with his game

 

[BrothaBill]

This thread reminds me of that television show blind date where the guy thinks the chick is all into him and they put little popups on the screen making fun of him and all the miscues he's making while he's totally obvlivious to it.
The best part is the post date interview where the guy is like "I feel a great connection etc..." and the woman is saying "Id rather have a wolverine gnaw off my face than go on a second date"

If a girl is dunking you so hard, its plain and simple, you are doing "Something" wrong