Can the ladies explain this to me?

[sawastea]

agreed

 

[nycgirl]

damn, this is usually the other way around, no? usually they jump in without thinking and it gets bad.

I am useless here. and also not a woman

No, it happens. I've been there. They aren't ready and would likely end up hurting & fooling you if they forced themselves to be in something they weren't ready for. I did this to someone. I tried, but I wasn't ready for the love he wanted to give me. Yes, it had to do with some drama I experienced. I broke up with him on Valentine's Day. I took myself out of the dating game for awhile and didn't return until I was ready.

Java, if they are running away, its a good thing. They aren't ready to give themselves to you, to love you, and to be completely raw & honest.

 

[javaguru]

There are many reasons.....some thoughts here......

1. your good looking so might assume your a player
2. Something freaked them out about you
3. they already have a boyfriend
4. didn't want anything to serious and you seemed way to intense....

Just some of my thoughts lol

I would like to think it's number one. I am intense but I don't exhibit "player" qualities other than just being a "good catch." I have had women admit they would never get serious with me because, "I would be afraid you wouldn't come home to me some night." I've also had an attractive, intelligent, educated and successful woman tell me I was too young and good looking, she was looking for someone older and less attractive. Apparently she wanted a guy who wouldn't cheat and thought she could "control." Ironically, these "controlled" guys typically end up cheating with a less attractive and desirable woman than the one they're with, the more you try to control someone the faster they slip through your grasp.

 

[Spartacus]

There are many reasons.....some thoughts here......

1. your good looking so might assume your a player

and they "know" you're above thier leaque,even slightly, and feel they'll be dumped in the future
if the guy is below thier leaque they'll go forward because they know they'll control the relationship
and be dumping him

 

[javaguru]

btw javaguru, i'm pretty sure it's your fear and mistrust of the lord jesus christ which causes you trouble now.

these lovely, intelligent, faithful women can sense your errant heathenism and are rightfully afraid.

Get off my thread.... I tend to date women who are educated and intelligent, we tend to have similar beliefs..spirituality over the intellectual and moral slavery of organized religion.

 

[Spartacus]

I would like to think it's number one. I am intense but I don't exhibit "player" qualities other than just being a "good catch." I have had women admit they would never get serious with me because, "I would be afraid you wouldn't come home to me some night." I've also had an attractive, intelligent, educated and successful woman tell me I was too young and good looking, she was looking for someone older and less attractive. Apparently she wanted a guy who wouldn't cheat and thought she could "control." Ironically, these "controlled" guys typically end up cheating with a less attractive and desirable woman than the one they're with, the more you try to control someone the faster they slip through your grasp.

exactly

 

[nycgirl]

Whatever the reason, I think the fact that they are running from you (you are a good catch), is a good thing and you shouldn't dwell on it.

 

[javaguru]

"Ah Women, they make the highs higher and the lows more frequent."-Nietzsche

 

[javaguru]

Whatever the reason, I think the fact that they are running from you (you are a good catch), is a good thing and you shouldn't dwell on it.

I concur....bullets dodged. However, I suffer from a desire to understand people and I just don't get it. I find it hard to understand why people are afraid of success too....guess I'm just not wired that way....

 

[sublime35]

my post from the other thread:

"my guess is that that are afraid that something like that could develop into a great relationship and are afraid of commitment, despite what they say. People may talk about wanting to find the right person and settling down but when they get into something that could be the real thing, they run."