Can a man be faithful to one woman?

[Stubby2]

winny fan, My girl is so insecure and has this problem whereby she just never trusts me regardless. It has been like this for the seven years ive been with her so it will never change. I just dont understand. She can be very cold towards at times and there is no passion anymore which is a damn shame. I still care for her dearly but it all came to a head at the weekend just gone. I met this girl and she started telling me how great she thought I was (not happened in a long time). anyways... we got talking in the club and left together... one thing led to another and although we did not have sex I still feel damn guilty that this happened. Not sure whether it was because of the fact that my girl does not trust me (i.e. if the hat fits... where it) or I actually wanted to do what I did. Eiter way, what I did was wrong and I feel ashamed and guilty and feel sorry for both my girl and the girl I met since she seemed so nice. I did tell the girl after (about my relationship) and that was that. Damn me, how could I have been so stupid... I'm thinking about telling my girl what I did. Maybe we need to split because the trust was never there and now it would be even worse as ive commited the offence she accuses me of and she would think if ive done it once id have done it before. I have no idea what the hell to do so any advice.... (not the genital removal thing LawDog LOL) that would be good...

STUBS

 

[LawDawg8]

Winny Fan - What's up dude?!?! Thanks for the re-welcome... been out bustin' people and making money... but I'm gradually littering this place up again with posts.... hehehe... thanks dawg!

35andfeel19 - Hell yeah man, I stand firm in my convictions. True, I'm no paragon of virtue or anything like that, but there are some things to which I hold fast. I am religious, and I feel that marriage is your promising to God Almighty Himself that you will be with your partner and no one else. Those who would cheat with someone whom they know is married do not respect the Lord God and a sacred covenant. I've done some things in my life that I'm not proud of, and I have an evil streak in me, don't get me wrong.... but things like trust, fidelity, and loyalty are timeless character attributes that I strive for and tolerate nothing less from anyone with whom I associate - be it friends, family, or girlfriends / wife ...

When I was single, I really got around and have literally had sex with so many women in my 27 years on this earth that there is no way I could ever count the numbers or remember all of their names. But, they all knew what I was about and that I was NOT going to commit to any of them. When I had a girlfriend, however, I pretty much stayed faithful (save occasional flirting.) And marriage - I would never cheat. Ever.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Ah the age old question of faithfullness......it is complicated at times, yet quite simple. Ultimately, we do what WE CHOOSE - no he said/she siad - no she neglected me BS either.

As for marriage....many of us know how tangled and difficult it can be to obtain a divorce. Would you all say that it is still cheating if:

- the two were PHYSICALLY separated. (Living in separate rooms of the same house or actual separate residences w/NO SEXUAL CONTACT WHATSOEVER.)

- one TOLD the other as they threw them out (it was either that, or have the police escort the individual to jail), "WE ARE OVER - YOU GO YOUR WAY, I GO MINE, IT IS ONLY A PIECE OF PAPER, I DO NOT FEEL THE NEED FOR THE INK TO DRY."

- the person who asked for the divorce NEVER ONCE gave a "mixed signal" that there was the REMOTEST chance that they would EVER reconcile - PERIOD!

- the final act that percipitated one leaving the domicile was PHYSICAL VIOLENCE.

- the one "with all the control and money (temporarily anyway..that is why they have courts)" is busting balls in THE WORST way because they DO NOT want the divorce even though all of the above exists.


........you guys tell me.

I had ZERO difficulty remianing faithful to my husband, even in my dreams, for 13 years PERIOD. Not that there wasn't AMPLE opportunity. When you are committed it doesn't matter how horny you are or what else is out there. Do people make mistakes because of life's complications? Yes. Can and should they be forgiven? Yes. Is infidelity a reason to end a marriage? Unless it is habitual, my answer is NO.

As for dating. That is another situation altogether. If you become sexually involved and you do NOT have your cards on the table with your partner BEFORE you engage in the act (ie - TELLING them that you are NOT looking for a commitment, etc) then you are just a slime with low self-esteem. But if you are TWO CONSENTING ADULTS and you are upfront from the getco, whether there is some form of monogomy or not is for the two of you to decide.....but remember, we are all entitled to change our minds. That is why one should understand the rammifications of their behaviour BEFORE engaging in the act. REGARDLESS of whether or not the guy or girl gives you the "I love you" and "It's forever, baby" line - BE PREPARED that it might be JUST THAT....A LINE.

...just my humble .02

 

[kuda75]

i was with my last girlfriend for 2 1/2 years and never cheated but man did i think about it all the time. lol

 

[The Whole F/N Show]

I hear ya Kuda

 

[tripleV]

Maybe

Actually ........no

 

[crimson coal]

As I said I have been with the same woman (wife) for 12 years. I was dating 7 different girls at the time we were goin out and had been...Juggling for several months. Got tired of juggling and gettin caught in lies. Plus the aids thing was startin to really scare me. I sowed plenty of seed and was just ready to settle down and she was the one. I find a good way to be monogomous is to think to yourself...What if she was fuckin around on me? How would I feel if I found out? Stops me cold cuz I care about her.

 

[whateverdude]

Staying faithful to my girlfriend in reality? Yes I think its possible. Staying faithful 100% to her in my mind? I honestly believe that is impossible for me. If I was 100% faithful in my mind at all times that would mean I never spank the monkey and that certainly isn't true . Either that or I only spank the monkey thinking of her but that is very silly and I never do that. Why would I only j/o thinking of my girlfriend when I could just have sex with her in real life . Seriously though, Bikinimom, maybe you are 100% faithful in your fantasies, but do you think your husband is? I HIGHLY doubt it. There's no way, gotta be impossible for a guy.

 

[galain]

whateverdude

I hear ya!

I already know I'm competing with Johhny Depp in my lady's head, so it doesn't phase me one bit that other women enter mine on a regular basis!

 

[Bikini Mod]

I am not saying that fantasizing is not normal OR healthey...because it is! Their is NOTHING wrong w/fantasy. It is what you DO about it that matters!

Me, personally, if I had a "naughty" dream about someone other than my husband it would be a man who was TOTALLY unobtainable ie Arnold Schwarzenneger for example...like THAT would ever happen! or the man would have an AMAZING body, but NO FACE or it would be a female.....so, in essence because the people are not REAL (in other words, like a co-worker, etc somebody that I REALLY COULD END UP WITH) the way I look at it, I was faithful even in my dreams. Perhaps this is rationalization. I don't know, but it works for me.

As for my husband - hell, I would POINT out the beautiful women TO HIM! We would go to strip clubs and go-go bars, have a few drinks, get horned up and then fuck like bunnies......so why would I mind if my husband is aroused by the sight of an attractive woman? He is coming home with me and I BENEFIT! Capish?