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Anyone ever been treated for Depression?

you know what's really hard? having days off from work. i can't stay busy enough when i don't work. i find myself doing things that aren't productive or positive. too much on my mind...........
 
i swear, this is like training. i am trying so hard to unfuck my brain. it is so fucking hard. i wanted a drink so bad today. i wanted to drown in booze. it's so pathetic, that i work in a bar but wanted to stay home and drink alone. i haven't slept well in days, and i can't figure out why. i know i need to sleep now, but my mind won't cooperate. trying to change the way you think is a hard fight. i'm around a bunch of gossipy bitches at night, total negativity. and they want to sit and talk to me about other people. haven't they a clue that i know as soon as i turn my back, i know they talk about me? what possesses people to act like this? i asked this jerk-of-a-female why would you say that about someone? and she says" i'm not trying to be mean". well fuck all if that isn't what that is! please someone tell me there is a place where people don't stick it to you when you walk away? is there? the town i work in, it's asleep. i swear no one looks anywhere but at their feet. i say something to them and it's like i woke them up. "what?" huh? is all i hear from people. alcoholics are the worse, what a fucking roller-coaster that is. miserable on their way in, happy after 2 or 3 drinks, back to misery after last call. sorry, now back to me. now i've felt like my eyes are opened. like that guy in office space. i usually dated a girl if i found her attractive enough and we responded well to each other. i'd let the other pieces just fall in place and go from there. but now i think i've learned to peer into someone. to really look. look at who they are. how did i used to date someone after i heard her complain about guys being cheap? or when a chick has like 5 guyfriends constantly around? i've learned i'm not the only cuckoo in the nest. most people have issues, but most lack the introspective point of view. most let their friends tell them who and what they are. maybe i'm being harsh, but i don't want to be a part of this anymore. i go out to have fun, not fight. not to sit and complain about a "friend". but ti's everywhere, fucking everywhere! i choked this dude the other night, and felt terrible after i did it. part of me wanted to kick his brains all over the parking lot, and the other part wanted to say i'm sorry. i felt bad for humiliating him in front of these assholes that he got into it with. i wasn't trying to make these fucks happy. and then the bitches i work with are like, "oh, man! i wish i didn't miss that" that woulda been awesome"! people fucking suck. "have a good time always, @someone elses expense", and that is the new motto of the new millenium..............
 
If you are depressed at the moment some of the following symptoms may sound familiar:

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You feel miserable and sad.
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You feel exhausted a lot of the time with no energy .
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You feel as if even the smallest tasks are sometimes impossible.
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You seldom enjoy the things that you used to enjoy-you may be off sex or food or may 'comfort eat' to excess.
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You feel very anxious sometimes.
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You don't want to see people or are scared to be left alone. Social activity may feel hard or impossible.
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You find it difficult to think clearly.
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You feel like a failure and/or feel guilty a lot of the time.
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You feel a burden to others.
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You sometimes feel that life isn't worth living.
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You can see no future. There is a loss of hope. You feel all you've ever done is make mistakes and that's all that you ever will do.
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You feel irritable or angry more than usual.
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You feel you have no confidence.
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You spend a lot of time thinking about what has gone wrong, what will go wrong or what is wrong about yourself as a person. You may also feel guilty sometimes about being critical of others (or even thinking critically about them).
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You feel that life is unfair.
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You have difficulty sleeping or wake up very early in the morning and can't sleep again. You seem to dream all night long and sometimes have disturbing dreams.
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You feel that life has/is 'passing you by.'
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You may have physical aches and pains which appear to have no physical cause, such as back pain.
 
HumanTarget said:
i swear, this is like training. i am trying so hard to unfuck my brain. it is so fucking hard.

Hang in there, bro. Don't bail on your counselor/psychologist, don't bail on your doc, and especially

DON'T BAIL ON YOURSELF

I don't remember the exact stats, but my doc quoted some stating that "talk therapy" works in X percent of the cases, meds work in X% of the cases, but the two together work better than X + X (greater than the sum of the parts, if you catch my drift).
 
MikeMartial said:
Hang in there, bro. Don't bail on your counselor/psychologist, don't bail on your doc, and especially

DON'T BAIL ON YOURSELF

I don't remember the exact stats, but my doc quoted some stating that "talk therapy" works in X percent of the cases, meds work in X% of the cases, but the two together work better than X + X (greater than the sum of the parts, if you catch my drift).
thanks for the encouragement, bro. i'm workin' my ass off thrying to fix my self. i find things all day long being applied to my treatment. i see people far worse off than i am, but they don't think anytihng is wrong. i can't believe there are people that won't try to fix what is broken.
 
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