ANXIETY........... who's had it or has it??

[big_bad_buff]

http://www.davepalumbo.com/detroitpics/images/P1010040.jpg

 

[The Red Dragon]

what is that?

 

[Generic MALE]

Yes, including phobias and panic attacks.

Sorry can't remember all the questions. My medical history is colorful. For me the worst is rhabdomyolysis which is fatal in about 10% of the cases - but that is not a mental case. I was diagnosed in my teens with several head trips. I spent a few weeks here and there in the hospital for testing and observation. Was on medications for some years and just quit them. From the treatment I got from psychiatrists and psychologists I lost total respect for the medical profession (how ironic that now in my 40's I am a 3rd year med student). But for years I would not let MD's touch me no matter what - I set several broken bones (hand, wrist, nothing major) myself and cast it with ace bandages and plaster of paris from K-mart, I drained a large abcess in my leg - draining off about 15 CC's of pus, and almost died from the rhabdo. I hate MD's for the most part - school has helped me gain some respect as there are many dedicated MD's in the profession. But that is neither here nor there...

Usually its this feeling of my inner being being wrung out and twisted up with an overpowering feeling of something bad about to happen, some sort of impending doom and the thought of "what am I going to do...?". It often strikes at night. For a few years I had a fear of flying that started during a calm flight out of the blue, but I have overcome it. The fear of flying was terrible - white knuckled gripping the seat, sweating, panting, thinking of kicking in the pilots door and forcing him to land the plane type of fear. Overall having a sure feeling that something dreadful is about to happen and there is nothing I can do about it.

I have social phobias as well and have had them since I was in kindergarten. I still hate unstructured social situations. I am good at work where there are defined roles and "scripts". But at parties I feel a terrible knot in my stomach. Its so much better now that I am married and always have a partner that "has" to talk to me. Ironically I was a popular kid in grade school, junior high and even high school. I won alot of silly popularity contests and dated alot of the popular girls - cheerleaders etc. I think this was largely because I was very athletic, and that helped create artificial friendships. But I often skipped or left school as anxiety would sometimes build to the point I just could not stay there. I began skipping school in grade school out of anxiety. My senior year of high school we were allowed so many absent days (I think like 10 per semester) - I used all mine up the first quarter, so transfered schools - used them up again, then transfered back.

When I got married my wife was amazed at how socially phobic I was. She said nobody would think I was phobic, because I seem calm at parties and am well liked. But before a party I just don't want to go, sometimes get to the door and have to go home, am sure that even long time friends don't like me or are laughing at me. I get anxious before work(school), wondering if I will be able to handle the tasks of the day and wondering what to say to co-workers.

I am sure the social phobia (along with the extreme religous nature I had in my youth) was part of the reason I was a virgin until I was married. I went 2 years without dating in graduate school in my twenties, as I started to get panicked on dates around girls.

Other things that probably contributed to it was the fact that when I was in grade school everyone kicked my ass - my family, neighborhood kids, kids at school. It did not help that I had a girl sounding name. Thats part of the reason I got into martial arts in 4th grade. By 7th grade I had a bit of a reputation as a fighter and people did not mess with me - until 9th grade when a guy brought a gun to school to kill me, but got stopped by plain clothes police men as he walked up to shoot me. But I never really had to fight again after 7th grade.

I took different meds 20+ some years ago. I hated them. Made me extremely lethargic and groggy. I would not take meds now, even if I got suicidal. But many friends I have who are on antidepressants (often goes hand in hand with anxiety) and anxiolytics (anti anxiety meds) say they are great and the new ones have few side effects.

I use to meditate alot - Chinese Qigong. Exercise helps me alot. I was heavily into martial arts for many years (wrestling, kickboxing, Karate, Jujutsu) and found that I was most calm when sparring/fighting.

GABA helps me as does magnesium aspartate.

 

[Advaik]

1. Not anymore

2.

3. 16 years

4. Cant talk

5. Bigger groups of people, more pressure to talk

6. Medication

7. Paxil

8. Paxil

9. The only thing I take "Med" is medication

10. Nothing :x

11. Let me just tell you, I had social anxiety. Whenever I tried to talk to people I couldnt. It wasnt my fault it was hereditary. Paxil fixed it right up and I'm a little more wild now than I'd like to be.

 

[biteme]

Yes, including phobias and panic attacks.

Sorry can't remember all the questions. My medical history is colorful. For me the worst is rhabdomyolysis which is fatal in about 10% of the cases - but that is not a mental case. I was diagnosed in my teens with several head trips. I spent a few weeks here and there in the hospital for testing and observation. Was on medications for some years and just quit them. From the treatment I got from psychiatrists and psychologists I lost total respect for the medical profession (how ironic that now in my 40's I am a 3rd year med student). But for years I would not let MD's touch me no matter what - I set several broken bones (hand, wrist, nothing major) myself and cast it with ace bandages and plaster of paris from K-mart, I drained a large abcess in my leg - draining off about 15 CC's of pus, and almost died from the rhabdo. I hate MD's for the most part - school has helped me gain some respect as there are many dedicated MD's in the profession. But that is neither here nor there...

Usually its this feeling of my inner being being wrung out and twisted up with an overpowering feeling of something bad about to happen, some sort of impending doom and the thought of "what am I going to do...?". It often strikes at night. For a few years I had a fear of flying that started during a calm flight out of the blue, but I have overcome it. The fear of flying was terrible - white knuckled gripping the seat, sweating, panting, thinking of kicking in the pilots door and forcing him to land the plane type of fear. Overall having a sure feeling that something dreadful is about to happen and there is nothing I can do about it.

I have social phobias as well and have had them since I was in kindergarten. I still hate unstructured social situations. I am good at work where there are defined roles and "scripts". But at parties I feel a terrible knot in my stomach. Its so much better now that I am married and always have a partner that "has" to talk to me. Ironically I was a popular kid in grade school, junior high and even high school. I won alot of silly popularity contests and dated alot of the popular girls - cheerleaders etc. I think this was largely because I was very athletic, and that helped create artificial friendships. But I often skipped or left school as anxiety would sometimes build to the point I just could not stay there. I began skipping school in grade school out of anxiety. My senior year of high school we were allowed so many absent days (I think like 10 per semester) - I used all mine up the first quarter, so transfered schools - used them up again, then transfered back.

When I got married my wife was amazed at how socially phobic I was. She said nobody would think I was phobic, because I seem calm at parties and am well liked. But before a party I just don't want to go, sometimes get to the door and have to go home, am sure that even long time friends don't like me or are laughing at me. I get anxious before work(school), wondering if I will be able to handle the tasks of the day and wondering what to say to co-workers.

I am sure the social phobia (along with the extreme religous nature I had in my youth) was part of the reason I was a virgin until I was married. I went 2 years without dating in graduate school in my twenties, as I started to get panicked on dates around girls.

Other things that probably contributed to it was the fact that when I was in grade school everyone kicked my ass - my family, neighborhood kids, kids at school. It did not help that I had a girl sounding name. Thats part of the reason I got into martial arts in 4th grade. By 7th grade I had a bit of a reputation as a fighter and people did not mess with me - until 9th grade when a guy brought a gun to school to kill me, but got stopped by plain clothes police men as he walked up to shoot me. But I never really had to fight again after 7th grade.

I took different meds 20+ some years ago. I hated them. Made me extremely lethargic and groggy. I would not take meds now, even if I got suicidal. But many friends I have who are on antidepressants (often goes hand in hand with anxiety) and anxiolytics (anti anxiety meds) say they are great and the new ones have few side effects.

I use to meditate alot - Chinese Qigong. Exercise helps me alot. I was heavily into martial arts for many years (wrestling, kickboxing, Karate, Jujutsu) and found that I was most calm when sparring/fighting.

GABA helps me as does magnesium aspartate.

You've had a storied past and have overcome a lot of adversity. Props to you. My anxiety started after seeing my daughter vomit blood and hemorrhage. It was a gradual thing, starting out as dizziness that became worse and worse. Had every medical test done. I despise much of the medical profession as well from my experiences. The anxiety peaked when I was sitting in my living room one day and could not move, I remember grabbing my head, feeling like it was going to explode. It was a bitch, but I made it thru it with the help of medication and relaxation techniques.

 

[plornive]

1. yes

2. what

3. 4 years

4. decreased appetite, increased heart rate and blood pressure, irritability, reduced ability to completely focus, neurosis, paranoia about medical conditions (STDs, cancer), depression, apathy about things other than my main instigators of stress (I usually kick people out of my life when stress peaks)

5. increase in projects, less smooth progress of work, sometimes try to release stress through mindless sex but when they call repeatedly it causes even more stress, many projects/businesses at the same time (stress and anxiety are quite necessary in my situation I think)

6. removal of stressful stimuli. Dump any girlfriend(s), forget about the unnecessary, actually *avoid* any addictive pathologies like food/drugs/sex/etc. but objectively chosen drugs like Wellbutrin have helped me (I don't enjoy it but it helps me to stay positive). Prioritize projects and let some projects sit and fade into the background. Meditation to focus. Exercising and doing other activities is essential!

Posting on Elite doesn't help, by the way.

7. Not many drugs for the purposes of reducing anxiety. Wellbutrin, amphetamine (illegal), weed if I have a full night and morning to blow. The amphetamine was really to help me to work harder and not forget about anything... it really probabl increased my anxiety.

8. I think I will have it for quite a while.

9. Meditation as in relaxing outside, trying to release stress. Helped a little bit. Not a big deal to me though.

10. Multiple businesses, university research, consulting, bitches, lifting.

 

[decem]

thanks very much to those that have responded sincerely.. i appreciate your input very much.. here's where i'm at..

was diagnosed w/ depression and mood disorder 2 years ago.. then diag. w/ dep. and cyclothymic disorder and general anxiety a year and two months ago..

i can handle the depression and mania.. i've had them all my life and have learned to channel them to my advantage.. even though they are increasing in severity.. it's the "anxiety" which i cannot handle..

the trouble is... like gen. male.. i too have lost respect for the med. profession in these past 3 yrs of encounters w/ shrinks as their only answer seems to be meds, meds, meds.. get their quick buck and not put forth any effort into trying to fully understand the root causes..

i actually think that what i have may not be anxiety at all, but perhaps more of a physiological disorder that gives birth to mental complications that mask themselves as anxiety..

it starts with a crushing pressure on my chest and feeling of someone strangling my neck (something that as a kid i fucking would go haywire from.. like if there was some of us as friends wrestling or whatever and someone would strangle me thinking it was funny.. i'd start fucking throwing down b/c of the rage it put me in).. then after this comes, extreme irritability and inability to concentrate.. but i think that i only have this b/c it feels as though i'm walking around with a fucking 400lb gorilla sitting on my chest strangling the fuck out of me.. the irritability makes me a fucking asshole and the inability to concentrate kills any chance at studying or reading or carrying on a conversation..

i've had it virtually every day and night for the past year and two months... since it first presented itself.. there is no external, "visible" thought or emotion that gives birth to it.. i don't worry excessively.. i live a pretty good life.. i'm 26 y/o, did 6 years in the USN, make 42-50k a year (depending on how much i get from mgib that year), have a house and a nice truck and yard and dog.. have a barn and horse.. most people in my family are healthy... etc etc..

for the anxiety i've tried buspar, verapamil, and klonopin.. i tried the klonopin first and used it for 4 months at 1.5mg / day.. then i wanted off it b/c, even though it takes away the anxiety, it makes me dumber than shit and prevents me from having the bouts of creativity that come with the manic phases.. as i no longer have these manic phases b/c klonopin is also used to treat cyclothymic disorder.. so then i went on verapamil... which helped me think more clearly and didn't make me as tired.. but which also had worse side effects (i can't remember what they were now).. then back on klonopin.. then off for same reason.. then tried buspar.. didn't do fucking shit.. then back onto klonopin but have graduated to 2mg a day.. plus a few beers..

ephedrine takes away the anxiety and helps me concentrate for a few hours.. as does strattera (an adhd drug).. i told the dipshit shrink this but it didn't seem to phase him any as he's too lazy to investigate.. gen. male.. any thought (besids.. "see a diff. shrink.." as this is what i plan to do anyway).. beer takes it away as well.. after about 3 or 4.. but not for long..

running/working out has no effect.. these used to be my escape from everything.. now they're my escape from everything but anxiety.. deep easy breathing has no effect.. concentrating on something "else" has no effect as i'm not really concentrating on anything to begin with..

nordstrom.. can you further address "the hopelessness that gives birth to anxiety" and more thoroughly detail that hopelessness? this is the only thing that i can think of that might be an underlying factor if i really do have anxiety.. as i am pretty much hopeless in life at this point.. i see no reason to accomplish anything or to acquire any material wealth.. nor do i see myself as really working any job or occupation that i like.. ever.. i want to be happy and have children to raise but i know that there really is no chance that i will have a genetic legacy that spans all of time.. as the human race will eventually die off at some point.. i know that i will never know the cause of the universe nor what runs it nor what happens when i cease to exist on this earth.. etc etc..

fuck.. i have to go put horses in before the flies start tearing them up..

any input is appreciated..

thanks again for the replies..

 

[gingersnap]

Lexepro has helped me

 

[Stangfriik]

1. Yes

3. Have had it for about 3 years. Precisely when I stopped doing drugs.

4. Uneasiness, irritibility, totally destroying my finger nails and cuticals (sp?), can't function in public without someone being there with me.

5. any stimulant, the day after drinking, any attention whatsoever from a group of people, crowds of people like at a concert

6. Haven't found anything except alcohol.

7. Haven't tried any drugs. I start seeing the shrink tomorrow.

8. haven't

9. Nope

10. In such serious financial problems that my fiance has filed chapter 7 and I'm not far behind her. Not being able to figure out what the fuck I wanna do. I have no goals and if I do think of one, the urge to complete that goal doesn't last very long thus ending back where I started. Always thinking I'm part of some bigger plan yet no one will tell me what that is and will only stare at me. I'm thinking this is some sort of paranoid schizo stuff here which scares the shit out of me. Other than that, life is peachy

 

[rx4mass]

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