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Amy' S GeT Right Get Tight Journal
- Thread starter believeNme
- Start date
OMG!!! 
on't EVEN think you guys understand how amazing God works through you all! SG; GG; BunZ; Que.... I'm so heart broken right now because of the VERY thing you asked me. I feel likke I give and give , because I LOOOOONG for close friendships. I have so many aquaintances, I know 8 people everywhere I go, always bubbly and "fun-amy" but I'm DYING inside. ALways with a "new-guy" for validation, and always with a guy thats more needy emotionally than me, and I end up catering to him, and still feeling empty. I was making my long drive home from my new guy's place tonight (he's going through a rough time with his ex) and I was thinking to myself.... I am completly alone? And the only friend I really have...."down n out" is the one I PAY!!! 
It makes no sense, b/c the people who really know me if they knew that they would think I was lying, but it's true! I feel alone and scared.More support would be great, but that means more money, which means more of "hearing about it from dad" (cause holding a job for me is near impoosible?!!?! ) So im broke too! SOrry to rant...Just strange that these posts were the one's i came home to, when i was pondering them for the last 30 minutes in my car!!! =( I love you's guy's too! 
Thanks for caring!
on't EVEN think you guys understand how amazing God works through you all! SG; GG; BunZ; Que.... I'm so heart broken right now because of the VERY thing you asked me. I feel likke I give and give , because I LOOOOONG for close friendships. I have so many aquaintances, I know 8 people everywhere I go, always bubbly and "fun-amy" but I'm DYING inside. ALways with a "new-guy" for validation, and always with a guy thats more needy emotionally than me, and I end up catering to him, and still feeling empty. I was making my long drive home from my new guy's place tonight (he's going through a rough time with his ex) and I was thinking to myself.... I am completly alone? And the only friend I really have...."down n out" is the one I PAY!!! It makes no sense, b/c the people who really know me if they knew that they would think I was lying, but it's true! I feel alone and scared.More support would be great, but that means more money, which means more of "hearing about it from dad" (cause holding a job for me is near impoosible?!!?! ) So im broke too! SOrry to rant...Just strange that these posts were the one's i came home to, when i was pondering them for the last 30 minutes in my car!!! =( I love you's guy's too! Thanks for caring! 
que_66
New member
gemini269 said:OMG!!!
You are a beautiful creation.
You are worth the effort.
You are worthy of being loved.
You are NOT alone.
You're not a parking pass that needs a validation punch by the guy at the parking garage.
Validation doesn't come from others.
God made you for a reason.
God doesn't make junk.
It's like Bunny said, there's a reason we came to EF and stayed.
Hang in there Amy, there has to be a little rain before the flowers can bloom and be beautiful.
THanks Bunz and Que =) I really do need to hear those wonwerful things. SOmetimes it's easy to start to wonder WHAT exactly our purpose IS when our "little world" around us wants to fall apart but I know your right. YOur beautiful wonerful women and I pray God blesses you tonight and this week!!!! Lots of love!!! AMY
Yeah! Thanx nelms! I was just talking to my "shrink" ha! today about that fact. She asks me how my "med's" are doing and I say great. SHe gets excited... and I began to cry. SHe looks confused and I tell her.... thats the problem.!!! I've felt bad for so long, self-destructive, and self punishing and NEGATIVE, that I find myself "making up for" all the good the medicine is doing by, alcohol, etc. beating myself down, because being down and hurting is more COMFORTABLE!? strange but true.... so i will check out that book too!!!
nelmsjer
New member
Amy, I know exactly what you mean, and I have talked to others about it, too. It's "scary" to think of being positive and confident, because all you know is your misery. Negativity is what is comfortable for you (exactly what you said). People that have never been there will literally never understand. As a matter of fact, that is literally how your brain is functionally wired right now...to be negative.
So was mine. Believe me.
The good news is that you can rewire your brain. I'm dead serious, and I'm very much living proof. You will learn to rewire it to be positive. You will learn that there is far more comfort in joy and love and confidence. You will learn that you are extremely valuable, which is absolutely foreign to you right now (and me, at one time).
The book I mentioned teaches you HOW, which is what I was missing. My counselor and I worked out all of the "why" I felt like I did. But when we got to the "how to fix it", progress stalled...until I read the book. Understand, though, that I was searching and pulling with everything in me to get better. I had had enough. So, when I found that book, I DID EVERYTHING IN IT.
And that is the key. You must DO what is in the book...not just read it. Every day. I did the things that were in the book EVERY DAY for months on end...and before I knew it, I was a 100% completely different person that people didn't even recognize.
It has now been 12 years, and I've never looked back.
You can do it. 
And, because it would be simply wrong for me not to mention it: ask for God's help.
So was mine. Believe me.
The good news is that you can rewire your brain. I'm dead serious, and I'm very much living proof. You will learn to rewire it to be positive. You will learn that there is far more comfort in joy and love and confidence. You will learn that you are extremely valuable, which is absolutely foreign to you right now (and me, at one time).
The book I mentioned teaches you HOW, which is what I was missing. My counselor and I worked out all of the "why" I felt like I did. But when we got to the "how to fix it", progress stalled...until I read the book. Understand, though, that I was searching and pulling with everything in me to get better. I had had enough. So, when I found that book, I DID EVERYTHING IN IT.
And that is the key. You must DO what is in the book...not just read it. Every day. I did the things that were in the book EVERY DAY for months on end...and before I knew it, I was a 100% completely different person that people didn't even recognize.
It has now been 12 years, and I've never looked back.
You can do it. And, because it would be simply wrong for me not to mention it: ask for God's help.
