New York Cock Exchange

[ATrollFromTheFatBoard]

speechless ...

For cryin' out loud, p0ink.

So, your hobbies are weightlifting and ... this ... ?

 

[p0ink]

troll, what the hell are you talking about? someone sent me this site and i copy and pasted some of the logs that were funny? whats wrong with that?

 

[p0ink]

NinjaTenchu77885: Hi
Doug Stanhope : How Old are you?
NinjaTenchu77885 : 19
Doug Stanhope : Cool!
Doug Stanhope : Kids don't know how to cyber.
NinjaTenchu77885 : ok
NinjaTenchu77885 : so... u wanna play first(its my trademark)
Doug Stanhope : Sure!
Doug Stanhope : Whats your kink?
NinjaTenchu77885 : whatcha wanna play?
NinjaTenchu77885 : strip Poker
Doug Stanhope : k
NinjaTenchu77885 : *draws hand
NinjaTenchu77885 : k what u got?
NinjaTenchu77885 : i got high card
NinjaTenchu77885 : jack
Doug Stanhope : I have two pair, Aces and threes.
NinjaTenchu77885 : damn
NinjaTenchu77885 : i guess my pants are leavin town
NinjaTenchu77885 : OOPs no boxers oh well
Doug Stanhope : Ok, deal em up.
NinjaTenchu77885 : alright
NinjaTenchu77885 : *havds out cards
NinjaTenchu77885 : hands^
NinjaTenchu77885 : DAMMIT
NinjaTenchu77885 : i bet the rest of my clothes
Doug Stanhope : I have two dueces, a birthday card, the card from some plumbing company in Miami, and a joker.
NinjaTenchu77885 : damn
NinjaTenchu77885 : ok im buck naked u win
Doug Stanhope : One more hand on house credit?
NinjaTenchu77885 : ok...i i lose...sex...if i win...sex...however u like
Doug Stanhope : K
Doug Stanhope : I deal
Doug Stanhope : *shuffles*
NinjaTenchu77885 : alrighht
Doug Stanhope : What do you have?
NinjaTenchu77885 : royal flush
Doug Stanhope : What suit?
NinjaTenchu77885 : hearts
Doug Stanhope : Ooooh. Tsk Tsk.
NinjaTenchu77885 : aww damn
Doug Stanhope : See, I also have a royal flush, only mine is in diamonds.
Doug Stanhope : Do you know the rule here?
NinjaTenchu77885 : no?
Doug Stanhope : Alphabetical order.
NinjaTenchu77885 : dimonds rule
Doug Stanhope : Clubs beat diamonds beat hearts beat spades.
Doug Stanhope : You owe the house.
NinjaTenchu77885 : allright
NinjaTenchu77885 : well u see im butt naked
Doug Stanhope : *A large Buster Douglas type walks into the room and crack his knuckles.* Looks like someone got in over his head!
NinjaTenchu77885 : oh shit
Doug Stanhope : He palms the back of your head, which at this point is shaking uncontrollably.
NinjaTenchu77885 : IT CAN BE A THREESOME I DUN CARE
Doug Stanhope : Shut your mouth, fool!
Doug Stanhope : I make the rules here!
NinjaTenchu77885 : ok
Doug Stanhope : Buster sets you down and unzips his fly.
Doug Stanhope : !3 and a quarter inches of unwashed jungle cock flops out into your face.
Doug Stanhope : 13*
NinjaTenchu77885 : eww
Doug Stanhope : You try to look away but the stink makes you wince.
NinjaTenchu77885 : *coughs
Doug Stanhope : I laugh and take off my bra.
Doug Stanhope : My tits flop out like gym socks full of vomit.
NinjaTenchu77885 : so umm why is this other guy here
Doug Stanhope : "Never make bets you can't afford to lose" I say as I take down my skirt.
NinjaTenchu77885 : ok
Doug Stanhope : "Shut your pussy white-boy mouth!" say Buster, and you make a little wet in the chair.
NinjaTenchu77885 : i dun have to give him head do i?
Doug Stanhope : You may. It's all gonna depend on you.
NinjaTenchu77885 : no thanks
Doug Stanhope : We're gonna do a little gambling.
NinjaTenchu77885 : uh huh
Doug Stanhope : I put my beautiful pussy inches from your face.
NinjaTenchu77885 : I try to lick
Doug Stanhope : Buster smashes you across the mouth with his giant Negroid hand!
Doug Stanhope : You wait, muthafucker!
NinjaTenchu77885 : OW dammit that hurt
NinjaTenchu77885 : piss off
Doug Stanhope : Now, My pussy is there on the poker table - right next to the greasy, uncut, unwashed black cock.
Doug Stanhope : You can put it all on red or black on the roullette wheel.
Doug Stanhope : If you win, I am your slave.
Doug Stanhope : Lose, Buster has his way with you.
NinjaTenchu77885 : and buster cant doa thing about it?
Doug Stanhope : Right.
NinjaTenchu77885 : if i win?
NinjaTenchu77885 : ok
NinjaTenchu77885 : red
Doug Stanhope : Are you nervous?
NinjaTenchu77885 : what the fuck do you think?
Doug Stanhope : Buster is one angry, stinky, big-dicked motherfucker.
NinjaTenchu77885 : exactly
Doug Stanhope : Here we go! *spins the wheel, rolls the ball*
NinjaTenchu77885 : RED RED
Doug Stanhope : It pops into 17, then to 36 and back into 17!
NinjaTenchu77885 : is that red?
Doug Stanhope : Know what that means?
NinjaTenchu77885 : huh?
Doug Stanhope : Sorry, my friend. Thanks for playing at the Moulin Rouge.
NinjaTenchu77885 : bye!
Doug Stanhope : Buster picks you up by the back of your neck.
Doug Stanhope : You shout but it falls on deaf ears.
Doug Stanhope : Your ass cheeks are pryed apart and greasy cock is plowed into you.

 

[ATrollFromTheFatBoard]

I was beginning to think this was a major pastime or something.

 

[p0ink]

the image of the big black guy from pulp fiction pops into my head.

 

[p0ink]

Joshy10: hey
PorkPipeAnnie: Yes?
Joshy10: im 23 m ny
PorkPipeAnnie: Great! I love NY.
Joshy10: kool
Joshy10: i horny
Joshy10: *im
PorkPipeAnnie: Poor bastard. Want some help jacking off?
Joshy10: ya
Joshy10: will you?
PorkPipeAnnie: Sure, what do you like/
Joshy10: im 5'10'', brown hair, brown eyes
Joshy10: tan
PorkPipeAnnie: No, what are you into?
Joshy10: i like sex
PorkPipeAnnie: Say I was a hooker and you were going to kill me afterwards anyway. What would you do to me first?
Joshy10: i would get head
PorkPipeAnnie: Thats all?
PorkPipeAnnie: Just head?
PorkPipeAnnie: Would you cut it off first?
Joshy10: you do something
PorkPipeAnnie: Ok, so I am a hooker and you want head.
Joshy10: i'd want you to do stuff to me
Joshy10: anything
PorkPipeAnnie: You bring me to a hourly-rate crack hotel.
PorkPipeAnnie: You take out a Poulan Chainsaw X-T 950.
PorkPipeAnnie: The whine of the motor terrifies me.
PorkPipeAnnie: Without so much as a crack in your expression, you saw off my head.
PorkPipeAnnie: Now you take my bloody skull, pull open the mouth and drop it onto your rock hard cock.
PorkPipeAnnie: It falls top-heavy and your big dick pokes out the neck like a turd sneaking out of an asshole
PorkPipeAnnie: Did you come yet?
PorkPipeAnnie: Hello?
Joshy10: no
Joshy10: not yet
PorkPipeAnnie: Ok.
PorkPipeAnnie: My corpse lies on the floor with blood cascading from the neck.
PorkPipeAnnie: You do another bump of meth and try to tug some life into your syphlittic twisted cock.
PorkPipeAnnie: Cop car sirens wail in the night and give you the fear.
PorkPipeAnnie: But they aren't coming for you. Not yet.
PorkPipeAnnie: You spread the ass cheeks of my cooling corpse and find that I voided my colon when I was killed.
PorkPipeAnnie: You stick two fingers into the waste and hold it under your nose.
PorkPipeAnnie: You know that smell. That is the smell of Power.
PorkPipeAnnie: It makes your cock swell like a thumb caught in a car door.
PorkPipeAnnie: Did you come yet?
Joshy10: no
Joshy10: almost
PorkPipeAnnie: You remeber that I am a heroin mule and have recently come back from a trip to Bolivia. On a hunch you jam your entire hand to the elbow in my ass.
PorkPipeAnnie: You can feel the skin and flesh tear.
PorkPipeAnnie: You feel a baggie way up in my colon and no you've struck paydirt.
PorkPipeAnnie: You remove it and your whole arm is dripping blood and feces.
PorkPipeAnnie: You lick it clean like a wounded animal.
PorkPipeAnnie: There's a knock at the door.
PorkPipeAnnie: *Knock - Knock*
PorkPipeAnnie: I said Knock - Knock!
Joshy10: who's there?
PorkPipeAnnie: "It's Thaddeus, Kareena's pimp. Where's my mutherfuckin ho at?"
Joshy10: not here
PorkPipeAnnie: You look through the keyhole and start to panic.
PorkPipeAnnie: Its the biggest angriest black man you have ever layed eyes on.
PorkPipeAnnie: He kicks in the door before you have a chance to slide the deadbolt.
PorkPipeAnnie: There you are with his prize whore's head impaled on your cock and his bag of Horse in your hand.
PorkPipeAnnie: "Mutherfucker, You killed my best ho"
PorkPipeAnnie: You are speechless.
PorkPipeAnnie: He tells you that there is a high paying client waiting to fuck that ho, who you have no ruined.
PorkPipeAnnie: They only way he will let you live is if you dress up like a girl and let this guy fuck you.
Joshy10: eeeeewwwwwww.....
Joshy10: n
Joshy10: NO
PorkPipeAnnie: You jump at the chance.
PorkPipeAnnie: Wait a minute.
Joshy10: no
Joshy10: im not getting fucked
PorkPipeAnnie: A minute ago I had you licking blood and feces of the fist you just pulled out of a headless, dead hookers ass... but NOW I went too far?
Joshy10: im not gay
PorkPipeAnnie: Oh, My bad.
PorkPipeAnnie: So any way..
PorkPipeAnnie: Here you are covered in the shit and innards of a dead crack whore, fresh from fucking her in her decapitated head.
PorkPipeAnnie: Her pipm is now standing in front of your naked body and he's pissed off.
PorkPipeAnnie: pimp*
PorkPipeAnnie: He grabs the back of your head like a basketball and pushes it down on his dirty, uncut, stinkin black cock.
PorkPipeAnnie: You take it in your mouth and try not to vomit.
Joshy10: no
Joshy10: sick
PorkPipeAnnie: He tells you that in order for him to come, you have to lick his ass.
Joshy10: no
Joshy10: fuck you
PorkPipeAnnie: What are you, a racist?
Joshy10: no
Joshy10: im not gay
PorkPipeAnnie: I didn't say you LIKED it, did I?
Joshy10: no
PorkPipeAnnie: Do you kill hookers with chainsaws?
PorkPipeAnnie: No, you don't. But did you get all pissed off when I put it in the fantasy?

 

[p0ink]

the majority of these logs are done by Doug Stanhope the comedian. the guy is fucking hysterical

 

[p0ink]

i post these out of a labor of love people.

 

[p0ink]

you people should read these as bed time stories to your kids.

 

[davidg]

this stuff was halarious