Well that's another image ...
I don't wipe the stuff off anymore, I have a handheld shower massage so that alleviates the immediate problem of getting the worst of the burny stuff off in a hurry when the bell rings.
As far as injuring delicate parts, I empathize completely. I've done enough damage to myself in the past ... with my back forget shaving, I just don't bend that way.
I've seriously thought about the laser thing. Legs, nethers and pits. Wonder what that would cost?