Need help from women that are ALREADY sexy!

[wannaBsexy]

Hi Ladies. I hate to intrude on your board....but I'm desperate for some help or answers to my questions. I've posted several places, but just didn't get any responses. A google search for "Fit Woman's Forum" lead me here.

Basically I'm a typical working mother. I had my first child two years ago, and I let my body go from that point on.

Background:

Best shape of my life - Junior year in HS over 7 years ago . Weighed 130lbs. looked and felt good. I played softball and basically that was it.

Went down hill - Senior year. Quit softball started smoking weed. Gained 20lbs. kept it on until I got pregnant. Gained another 30lbs with pregnancy.

Currently - Weigh 170 lbs 5'4" tall. The thing I hate MOST about my body right now are my lower abs. I have like a spare tire that hangs down almost to my pubic area and it's covered in stretch marks (gross, I know...I"m sorry). I just need to get rid of it quick...I'm starting to get a really, really bad self image, and I've never had that problem. I don't even want to leave my house anymore. Let alone get naked in front of my husband.

I just really want to get looking good for my man. I think I would feel so much sexier if I looked sexier. So I guess I will list the things in order of importance that I want to change.....give me your input or suggestions on the quickest and most effective way to change/get rid of......please.

1. Ungodly spare tire around lower abs.
2. Stretch marks (I know they won't go away but will airbrush tanning or something hlep hide them?)
3. Flat (and I mean FLAT) butt. HOw can I beef it up?
4. Double chin.....not real bad, but noticle...yuck!
5. Flab on arms and thighs. Not real bad....but would like to tone it up.

I am starting to cut way back in my diet. No more eating fast food....drinking more water, and diet instead of reg. drinks. Doing an aerobic class twice weekly. Monday Stretch and Tone (with exersise ball and bands) Thursday Cardio workout.

I know I need to do more exersizing...but for someone who basically sits at a desk 8 hours a day, and then goes home and does minimal activity...this is a good start. I don't want to pull something. Plus, I don't want to waste my $ joining a gym, if Im not ready for it. Eventually I will join one, because I know I can't get in really good shape w/o weights etc.

Oh, also...I was going to take some diet pills from GNC called SlimQuick (I think) they are supposed to be targeted for women loosing belly fat from pregnancy.

TIA ladies for any help. And if I don't belong here, just say so....I'll go elsewhere to ask.

 

[scorpiogirl]

Well, don't say you don't belong here, girl! We all have to start somewhere - right?!?!?

We need to know what exactly you're eating and when. You should eat around every three hours or so. You should also be eating AT LEAST 1700 calories a day. I (as would most here) would suggest you start logging your food into fitday ( www.fitday.com ) to see EXACTLY where your food intake is. Most of the time the 40/30/30 - 40% protein, 30% carbs, 30% fat - is a good place to start. Fitday will break it all down for you as you start entering your info. If you've been eating a lot of crap, you should see almost IMMEDIATE RESULTS from just changing your diet alone! I'm talking within a week or two! How exciting is THAT?!?!?

If you REALLY want this, you're going to need to train with weights, eat a CLEAN diet and not make any excuses as to why you can't do this or can't do that. There's no time like the present to jump in and DO IT. Join a gym!

Start by doing some research and reading these! LOTS of GREAT info. here!!! Good luck to you and keep posting! Welcome to EF!!!!

http://www.elitefitness.com/forum/showthread.php?t=363631

http://www.elitefitness.com/forum/showthread.php?t=388278

 

[velvett]

HI

Based on what you posted you should start with a clean diet that offers enough food but not too much to hinder fat loss. (Post up your current diet or what you plan to do.)

Would you consider working out at home until you feel up to joining a gym?

You could do a resistance band workout, get some pilates tapes (I like Winsor), the Firm used to sell these great step up cubes that you can stack for step ups (great for legs and butt) and a dumbell set.

#1 - combo of fat and stretched skin - diet and ab stregthening
#2 - in time they will get silvery
#3 - squats, lunges (all kinds - forward, backward, walking, etc)
#4 - diet
#5 - diet and muscle building

Yes, of course you BELONG!

Welcome.


Read through the stickies and logs to get a feel of what people are doing and between everyone here you get the direction you need.

 

[*Bunny*]

^^ what they said!!! Intrude all you want WELCOME!!!

 

[wannaBsexy]

Thanks so much to both of you!

Currently this is what my diet looks like (used to be much worse - so even though it looks BAD it's an improvement):

Breakfast - 1-2 cups of coffee w/ cream and sugar. I forget or don't have time to eat usually.

Lunch - If I pack - Side salad w/ romane lettus, grape tomoatoes, cheese, baby carotts, oil and vinnegar dressing. One Michellena's frozen dinner (alfredo & chicken, Cheesburger caserole, etc)

Dinner - Either Pork chops, steak, hamburgers, hamburger helper, with either instant mashed potatoes, mac n cheese, pasta salad, and one veggie - canned beans, peas, corn, spiniach, or frozen, brocolli, limas, etc.

Then later in the night I will eat a few cookies, or oatmeal pie, or bowl of icecream. Sometimes drink a beer or glass of wine too.

I know your thinking - how could this be an improvement? BEcause I used to eat out at Mcdonalds like 4 times a week for 2-3 meals a day. PUKE!!!!!

Thanks so much ladies....I have looked at some of your pictures and it's amazing to me that you carried 2 and 3 babies and look like you do! It gives me some hope. Although I know I won't ever look that good, I can get close.

How do you find time to workout so much? Do you work or SAHM?

Oh, and is it possible for a chubby person like me to get looking that good?

(((hugs))) Thanks!!!!

 

[jenscats5]

Thanks so much to both of you!

Currently this is what my diet looks like (used to be much worse - so even though it looks BAD it's an improvement):

Breakfast - 1-2 cups of coffee w/ cream and sugar. I forget or don't have time to eat usually.

Lunch - If I pack - Side salad w/ romane lettus, grape tomoatoes, cheese, baby carotts, oil and vinnegar dressing. One Michellena's frozen dinner (alfredo & chicken, Cheesburger caserole, etc)

Dinner - Either Pork chops, steak, hamburgers, hamburger helper, with either instant mashed potatoes, mac n cheese, pasta salad, and one veggie - canned beans, peas, corn, spiniach, or frozen, brocolli, limas, etc.

Then later in the night I will eat a few cookies, or oatmeal pie, or bowl of icecream. Sometimes drink a beer or glass of wine too.

I know your thinking - how could this be an improvement? BEcause I used to eat out at Mcdonalds like 4 times a week for 2-3 meals a day. PUKE!!!!!

Thanks so much ladies....I have looked at some of your pictures and it's amazing to me that you carried 2 and 3 babies and look like you do! It gives me some hope. Although I know I won't ever look that good, I can get close.

How do you find time to workout so much? Do you work or SAHM?

Oh, and is it possible for a chubby person like me to get looking that good?

(((hugs))) Thanks!!!!

#1 - Of course you belong here....Welcome!

#2 - I'm 5'4" tall & used to weigh 170lbs - so I feel ya....though I've never had kids - it is possible for you to meet your goals....now being honest - depending on your body, and how it responds to exercise & healthy eating - if your lower stomach is that loose - the loose skin may *possibly* not bounce back....but that will take time to see....don't get down on yourself if you have loose skin & it doesn't tighten up right away....it can take time....

#3 - you need to start eating breakfast!! I found it easier to prep my food for the next day the night before.....and eating 4-6 times a day will allow you to lose weight & not feel hungry....

Try to incorporate less processed foods into your eating plan - the more "natural" the better. Also add in more complex carbohydrates & whole grains, more veggies & healthy proteins. And drink water!!

 

[scorpiogirl]

Most of us have jobs and are not SAHM's. The girls here train so much because they make it a PRIORITY...like paying the bills. You just have to do it. It takes HARD work and determination to make it happen. It took years to get to the point where you are now. It's not going to come off overnight, so be patient and keep at it and it will happen.

Definitely read the links I gave you. They will explain the CLEAN DIET (as Jen's is talking about).

 

[Sassy69]

HOLY SHIT GIRL! "Sexy" is a state of mind! I know lots of people who are jaw-dropping amazing but don't feel sexy because they aren't in a healthy place in their minds. Let's PLEASE not judge ourselves by how we perceive ourselves. I'd go a step back further - how we perceive ourselves is how we feel about ourselves. Sure I've had PLENTY of times when I felt like a fat cow, but guess what, I still friggen LOVE SEX, and my men (yea I'm single, I'm talking about my various men in the past) have told me I'm sexy when I know I've felt sexy. I've also seen them get turned off by me when I say "I feel fat" and all the accompanying bullshit w/ that. I'm 5'7 and I've topped around 190 in the past. But I've got a pile of muscle so imagine what a pile of mucscle gone flabby looks like. Ew. Its not a great feelign when you're in a strapless black dress as a bridesmaid at your brother's wedding (and yes, I was again, the oldest bridesmaid ) and someone asks if you are a power lifter. Jeez. Not the look I was going for.

Good comments from the girls here. From how you posted your thoughts, first your attention to your diet reflects a sort of frenzied approach to the whole thing. Its good you aren't doing the McD' thing, but there's still a better way to easily get some forward motion. Often when people perceive themselves as not as great as "everyone else", its sort of a cry for help and a feeling of confusion and maybe helplessness about how to fix the problem.

First, let me remind you (again speaking as a 40 yr old single lady w/ a 13 yr old fat cat) - you have a husband and (at least one ?) baby. You are doubly blessed right there. Your husband loves you - that makes you sexy in his eyes. You have a baby - that means you've experienced that glow of amazing mom - baby love. That makes you sexy.

OK -- now for the "giving you the tools to get where you want" -- and this is IN ADDITION to you tossing the "I am icky" attitude. You are just passing thru a phase on your way from sexy lady to sexy INSIDE AND OUTSIDE lady!

I'd like to make sure you are not just getting some diet, training and support /advice here but also that you are learnign the basics of nutrition & diet so you aren't feelign lost. There is a basic set of guidelines and common sense context for both nutrition & training that should help you not feel so helpless and also give you some knowledge & context to base your understandign of any diet & trainign advice you get and also to help avoid gettign sidetracked by the myth & misconceptiosn about diet & trainign that always seem to just make things more confusing.

Check Bill Philips' "BODY FOR LIFE" book - either the original or the new one "for women". Excellent intro to the basics of nutrition & training. Not just "a diet" -- you need to understand how your body works and how it responds to how you feed it to do what you want to accomplish. You don't just "eat a certain way" and you get lean. There's more to it. Its not rocket science, but there are some logical ways that it works and these are not so intuitively obvious if you are just going on the canned diet programs like "Low carb" or "atkins" or whatever.

Also if you like to cook - I LOVE the South Beach Diet book for great recipes to make it more interesting. DIET is not DIE w/ a T - its just a way to eat that respects your body. The crap you are eating now or dont' have time to make or prepare is not respecting your body. And your body is what you have to carry your spirit around in. Respect it & it will serve you very well.!!!!!

 

[wannaBsexy]

Gosh, thanks so much for taking the time to post all of this. It really did give me a different outlook. I probaby am going at this for the wrong reasons (how other's see me). In actuality my husband is very turned on by my body(stretch marks and all)....I just want to feel better. It's bad when you can't chase your two year old aroudn the yard w/o getting winded. I feel sexy sometimes...usually when I wear a teddy that covers my stomach. Silly, I know. We are starting to really explore our sex life, and that is bringing up some issues for both of us. He is getting involved in PE (Penis Enlargement) and I'm getting into fitness. So...I guess we are just trying to enhance our sex lives physically since the same old body's for the past 8 years are getting old. I don't know....that probably sounds stupid and sterotypical...but really it's meant in love for each other.

So, I will check out both books, and see what I can do about the foods.

It is really hard for me to eat good because I'm not much of a cook. I'm 24 and my Mom never really taught me how to cook. No excuse, I need to step it up.

I really apprecaite all of your responces. You are an amazing bunch of women...seriously!

Oh, I checked out the sticky's too - very informative. I printed out the "Clean foods" and will do my shopping with it

I will come back and post again once I get motivated and make some sort of progress.

No one commented on the QuickSlim pills from GNC - Yes? No? I wouldn't take them forever....just to get some energy for all these workouts, and to get things moving.

I really really LOVE my sleep - so I'm going to be sacrifcing a lot of sleep to prepare foods, exersise and still keep up with my family life (cleaning, making love, playing with my baby, etc.)

I like this board -very supportive and positive people!!! Thanks!

HOLY SHIT GIRL! "Sexy" is a state of mind! I know lots of people who are jaw-dropping amazing but don't feel sexy because they aren't in a healthy place in their minds. Let's PLEASE not judge ourselves by how we perceive ourselves. I'd go a step back further - how we perceive ourselves is how we feel about ourselves. Sure I've had PLENTY of times when I felt like a fat cow, but guess what, I still friggen LOVE SEX, and my men (yea I'm single, I'm talking about my various men in the past) have told me I'm sexy when I know I've felt sexy. I've also seen them get turned off by me when I say "I feel fat" and all the accompanying bullshit w/ that. I'm 5'7 and I've topped around 190 in the past. But I've got a pile of muscle so imagine what a pile of mucscle gone flabby looks like. Ew. Its not a great feelign when you're in a strapless black dress as a bridesmaid at your brother's wedding (and yes, I was again, the oldest bridesmaid ) and someone asks if you are a power lifter. Jeez. Not the look I was going for.

Good comments from the girls here. From how you posted your thoughts, first your attention to your diet reflects a sort of frenzied approach to the whole thing. Its good you aren't doing the McD' thing, but there's still a better way to easily get some forward motion. Often when people perceive themselves as not as great as "everyone else", its sort of a cry for help and a feeling of confusion and maybe helplessness about how to fix the problem.

First, let me remind you (again speaking as a 40 yr old single lady w/ a 13 yr old fat cat) - you have a husband and (at least one ?) baby. You are doubly blessed right there. Your husband loves you - that makes you sexy in his eyes. You have a baby - that means you've experienced that glow of amazing mom - baby love. That makes you sexy.

OK -- now for the "giving you the tools to get where you want" -- and this is IN ADDITION to you tossing the "I am icky" attitude. You are just passing thru a phase on your way from sexy lady to sexy INSIDE AND OUTSIDE lady!

I'd like to make sure you are not just getting some diet, training and support /advice here but also that you are learnign the basics of nutrition & diet so you aren't feelign lost. There is a basic set of guidelines and common sense context for both nutrition & training that should help you not feel so helpless and also give you some knowledge & context to base your understandign of any diet & trainign advice you get and also to help avoid gettign sidetracked by the myth & misconceptiosn about diet & trainign that always seem to just make things more confusing.

Check Bill Philips' "BODY FOR LIFE" book - either the original or the new one "for women". Excellent intro to the basics of nutrition & training. Not just "a diet" -- you need to understand how your body works and how it responds to how you feed it to do what you want to accomplish. You don't just "eat a certain way" and you get lean. There's more to it. Its not rocket science, but there are some logical ways that it works and these are not so intuitively obvious if you are just going on the canned diet programs like "Low carb" or "atkins" or whatever.

Also if you like to cook - I LOVE the South Beach Diet book for great recipes to make it more interesting. DIET is not DIE w/ a T - its just a way to eat that respects your body. The crap you are eating now or dont' have time to make or prepare is not respecting your body. And your body is what you have to carry your spirit around in. Respect it & it will serve you very well.!!!!!

 

[jenscats5]

*wags finger*



I didnt' know how to cook either - and my Mom was a terrible cook - so I taught myself!! I'm now a pretty good cook.... *pats self on back* (btw I'm goofy) Anyway - don't let "not knowing how" stop you. I was around your age when I taught myself how to cook....and around 27 when I weighed 170.....I'm 36 now, btw....

Now, not everything tasted good when I was learning, but hey.....Check out the Recipe Thread! in this forum - I've tried to come up with simple easy to prepare recipes that are also healthy......and if you have questions on cooking - just ask me!! Happy to help....