spentagn said:Ever heard of the New Testament?![]()
RyanH said:...eat fruit from a tree less than five years old. [Lev. 19:23]
How in the hell can you tell?
...cross-breed animals. [Lev. 19:19]
How 'bout fuckin' 'em?
...grow two different plants in your garden. [Lev. 19:19]
Fuck, I'm guilty of that!
...wear a cotton-polyester blend T-Shirt. [Lev. 19:19]
Whut's polyester?
...read your horoscope. [Lev. 19:26]
Read mine once. Shit. Din't even say nuthin' good.
...consult a psychic. [Lev. 19:31]
'Bout whut? I know some crazy folks but I ain't got no reason to talk to them.
...cut your hair. [Lev. 19:27]
I thought that wuz only levites?
...trim your beard. [Lev. 19:27]
Ha! Ain't got one.
...are tattooed. [Lev. 19:28]
Nope.
...don't burn witches. [Ex. 22:18]
Who in the hell has seen a witch. Actually, my cousin in greenboro sez he saw one, but he's crazier than a shithouse coon. Come to think of it, there was a pretty convincin' one at this halloween party...
...plant crops for more than seven years. [Lev. 25:4, Ex. 23:10-13]
Whut in the fuck you 'sposed to eat? cain't have just meat every day.
...bear a grudge. [Lev. 19:17]
How do you bear sumthin'? I wouldn't try grudgin' no bear.
...collect interest on a loan. [Ex. 22:24]
Does that include an asswhoopin' for being a year late?
...don't wash up after masturbating. [Lev. 15:16]
Shit. You sure you got to hell for that one? If so there ain't no way I'm gettin' outta that.
...insult a leader. [Ex. 22:27]
How's 'bout that towelbin feller? Cain't insult him? I know alot of folks been doin' that.
...mistreat a foreigner. [Ex. 22:21, 23:9]
Shit, beat a Mexican's ass last week.
...eat a rare steak. [Lev. 19:26]
FUCK YER SHITTIN' ME!!!
...or blood sausage. [Lev.17:13]
Huh?
...spread false rumors. [Ex. 23:1]
Shit talkin' count?
...drive a Mercury or a Saturn. [Ex. 23:13] (Look it up!)
Whut in the fuck are they?
So for all the "abortionists" "homosexuals" and "adulterers" never fear you have plenty of company.
Watch before you selectively use the Bible to support your arguments..........chances are you're just as close to hell as the lesbian next door!!!!
Ryan.
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