WTF do men want?

[Werd]

Well, it sounds like there is more to the situation than you've posted here, maybe if I had the full story I would change my opinion and agree with you. But from what I've read here I still think you over-reacted.

In any case, you've been in bad situations before and toughed it out, you know how to handle yourself, I'd say go with your gut feeling and do what you have to. If you really think the relationship is in danger over this then you must have a good reason.

Good luck.

Thanks Forge... I appreciate your thoughts and opinions.

There is more to it - a lot more. But I am chilling and just waiting to see what the tide brings. I have so much other stuff (waaaaaaay more important than "fighting with a boyfriend" stuff) to attend to that with each passing day this seems less and less important.

I haven't clue one what his thoughts are... when (and if) he wants to share them with me, we will talk. If not then, oh well. If two people want to rectify a situation (and this is about way more than jewelry obviously) then they will. There is absolutely no barrier that is insurmountable as long as two people want to rise to the challenge - TOGETHER.

At least this is what I believe.

 

[Werd]

id be like, "hell yea" the bitch isnt materialistic. she would immediately get put to the front of the rotation.

Another man *got it*.

Now just imagine that you are a multimillionare and women dont even TRY to hide the fact that they are after your funds....

 

[bluepeter]

:repeatedly banging head against wall:

Werd=BBF?

 

[Forge]

I haven't clue one what his thoughts are... when (and if) he wants to share them with me, we will talk. If not then, oh well. If two people want to rectify a situation (and this is about way more than jewelry obviously) then they will. There is absolutely no barrier that is insurmountable as long as two people want to rise to the challenge - TOGETHER.

At least this is what I believe.

EXACTLY. This is the reason why my marriage failed. I was willing to talk about our problems so we could work them out, but she wasn't. She bottles things up inside instead of talking about them, where I want to talk everything through. Two different viewpoints that just aren't compatible in the long run. Relationships work as long as both people WANT it to work.

You say you aren't experienced when it comes to relationships, yet my wife who is 41 years old could learn a thing or two about them from you. Don't sell yourself short, Werd.

 

[Werd]

:repeatedly banging head against wall:

Werd=BBF?

LOL your comment is relevant how?

 

[Werd]

EXACTLY. This is the reason why my marriage failed. I was willing to talk about our problems so we could work them out, but she wasn't. She bottles things up inside instead of talking about them, where I want to talk everything through. Two different viewpoints that just aren't compatible in the long run. Relationships work as long as both people WANT it to work.

You say you aren't experienced when it comes to relationships, yet my wife who is 41 years old could learn a thing or two about them from you. Don't sell yourself short, Werd.

Thanks Forge.... that was sweet.

 

[fistfullofsteel]

I want some Velvett. I want lots of Velvett.

 

[strongsmartsexy]

I'm going to describe something that has been useful with my current relationship. If this doesn't apply to you, just pass on by.

Think of moving along a relationship as walking along a path that you're building as you go. Each time you put down a paver, you can now walk on that paver. Falling off the path is a bad thing. So, you're doing your best to keep one another on the relational path.

Often instead of laying down a paver with me, my wife will dig a hole, which I have to fill back up again in order for us to lay down a paver. I call these things TESTS. I'm not often aware I'm taking a test until I've failed the test I wasn't aware I was taking to begin with. Fight occurs here. So, now that I know I've not only taken the test and failed, but now I'm expected to FILL in the hole that she dug to begin with before we can lay down the paver. Note that this cycle can occur many times. At some point she'll even go back to a previous paver, remove it and redig the hole. This I often refer to as drama.

It's very difficult to keep placing pavers to move relationships forward if one of the parties is constantly digging holes that have to be filled again before placing the paver. You also have to make sure that the pavers you're laying down don't run you around in circles. This is better known as picking up old baggage/garbage. It's a bit like tossing out food after dinner that you're not going to eat, only to dig it back up again and have it the next day for breakfast/lunch/dinner.

You can spend time growing a relationship and extending the path, or you can spend time running in circles, replacing pavers, tearing up pavers that have to be replaced again. At some point one or the other goes elsewhere to start building a path with a more suitable companion for path building...

 

[Carmen]

I'm going to describe something that has been useful with my current relationship. If this doesn't apply to you, just pass on by.

Think of moving along a relationship as walking along a path that you're building as you go. Each time you put down a paver, you can now walk on that paver. Falling off the path is a bad thing. So, you're doing your best to keep one another on the relational path.

Often instead of laying down a paver with me, my wife will dig a hole, which I have to fill back up again in order for us to lay down a paver. I call these things TESTS. I'm not often aware I'm taking a test until I've failed the test I wasn't aware I was taking to begin with. Fight occurs here. So, now that I know I've not only taken the test and failed, but now I'm expected to FILL in the hole that she dug to begin with before we can lay down the paver. Note that this cycle can occur many times. At some point she'll even go back to a previous paver, remove it and redig the hole. This I often refer to as drama.

It's very difficult to keep placing pavers to move relationships forward if one of the parties is constantly digging holes that have to be filled again before placing the paver. You also have to make sure that the pavers you're laying down don't run you around in circles. This is better known as picking up old baggage/garbage. It's a bit like tossing out food after dinner that you're not going to eat, only to dig it back up again and have it the next day for breakfast/lunch/dinner.

You can spend time growing a relationship and extending the path, or you can spend time running in circles, replacing pavers, tearing up pavers that have to be replaced again. At some point one or the other goes elsewhere to start building a path with a more suitable companion for path building...

Good thoughts, SSS.
Werd- people here only know what you tell us, so if someone calls you a drama queen (i can't remember if it was on this thread or another one as i type this), please keep in mind that most of your posts for the past few weeks have mentioned how in love you are, what a wonderful, caring man you now have, how your kids want you to marry him, how you feel like a princess and how sexually satisfying he is. Those things are great, and you should be happy and i'm glad you are. this recent incident- all you've said is that 'he was mean to me' and that he seems to have barked at you, or gotten a little short because he was busy. nobody here knows what he said, but you did say he barely raised his voice at you, while he was trying to work and your children were bothering him apparently (as kids do- not their fault obviously). In response, you returned a gift he gave you the previous week and although you said there was no drama involved, you also said you were crying when you returned it and that you wanted to show him you can't be 'owned'. As far as what people read here, thats overreaction and drama. a lot of it.
obviously you know more to the situation than anyone, but if thats all you allow people to read about- thats the reaction you're going to get. maybe chef and jersey don't see it as overly dramatic because they know more to the story, but nobody else does.
you were obviously so in love with this man that you could barely post without saying it. and maybe he was a real pig for a few minutes- stressed, overworked, tired, whatever. you haven't had a man treat you as well as he had in a long time, according to you... maybe he deserved some slack and not this dramatic ending of the relationship?

 

[tokyosportsjp]

just take the gift,thank him for his gesture,tell him honestly how you feel about him and his gift and shut the fuck up.