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Women trouble.... please help....

artrius

artrius

New member
Ok so here's the deal... I've been dating this asian chick for a month or so now, and we aren't bf/gf yet, but it was heading that way. Now i've run into a situation with her, and I want your opinions on it...

First, a little background. I met her when I was with my ex (when I was in NY), and she wanted to date me, but she knew I was attatched. So she goes on to look for other guys and she happens to find one... on the internet. She hasn't met him yet, but she said the magic three words (i love you) to him. I was kind of appalled that she would do that without having met him, but I just thought whatever, its your life.

Time rolls on and I break up with my ex, and I know that she's still not his gf, so I ask her out. We've been dating, having a great time, etc. However, she still wants to see the guy. Well anyhow, the guy she said those three words to asked her when she was gonna come see him... and she said it wasn't going to be for a while, as she was planning on coming and staying with me for a bit again. So he gets kind of pissy and says that if she's gonna date me, then he won't date her. Keep in mind, she isn't attatched and doesn't have a bf. Yes, I understand that she said I love you to him... but still didn't make a commitment to him.

Last night, we were talking, and she said that she wanted to be with me, be my gf, whatever. However, she still wants to date him, so she, remembering what he said, goes and says that she doesn't want to date me anymore so that she can go and see him. I told her that it was a bunch of BS and that he has no control over her and who she dates, and that if he thinks he does, he can go straight to hell. So right now, its totally f*cked up.

I'm just looking for opinions on this situation.... I'm not really sure what I should do, I mean I've been totally understanding of her side of the story, but I've about had it with this love triangle BS. I really like her still. She said that she doesn't want to lose her connection with me, and wants to be at least friends, and I said that it may be possible to be just friends... but I don't really keep in contact with friends too much, especially ones that live far away. I think that I'm going to tell her that I'm looking for a bf/gf relationship right now, not friends, and basically that if she wants to keep in touch with me, then she's gonna have to be my gf. I know that sounds harsh, but I don't have the time or energy to put into a long distance friendship when I'm looking for something more than that.

I appreciate you reading this, and I'd be happy to take any comments or suggestions you have on this...

Art
 
Any girl that thinks she loves someone from just talking on the internet is a fucking wack job - RUN, don't walk away from that shit fast. Much better fish in the sea...This is just foreshadowing of all the bs you will have to put up with if you continue to see her...
 
is she 12?
 
NiteOwl said:
Any girl that thinks she loves someone from just talking on the internet is a fucking wack job - RUN, don't walk away from that shit fast. Much better fish in the sea...This is just foreshadowing of all the bs you will have to put up with if you continue to see her...
Click to expand...

I know... I told her that its TOTALLY different in real life, and I think I convinced her that she shouldn't have said that to him without meeting him... we had a discussion about that last night too. She feels guilty that if she doesn't go and see him, that she would have been lying about saying those words to him. Like I said, I think I convinced her that she made a mistake in saying that...
 
artrius said:
she's 20... just happens to do a lot of drama....
Click to expand...

then sweetie.. you just solved your own problem.. drop that bitch like a hot potato... drama now = drama for life
 
Frisky said:
then sweetie.. you just solved your own problem.. drop that bitch like a hot potato... drama now = drama for life
Click to expand...

I know I should, but I still have some feelings for her... I think that maybe once the whole love triangle drama is over, and she settles on one guy... it might not be such a pain... but I guess I'm being overly hopeful, aren't I?
 
TheOak01 said:
send her packing bro,she is nuts,you dont need this shit in your life,shes just a mindfuck
Click to expand...
straight up.

shes trying to hook u both and play for the better.

either use her for sex or get her otuta there
 
Frisky said:
then sweetie.. you just solved your own problem.. drop that bitch like a hot potato... drama now = drama for life
Click to expand...

(Frisky - Is there something in the water? :lmao: )


I agree. She isn't worth the headache. You deserve better than that.
 
nycgirl said:
(Frisky - Is there something in the water? :lmao: )

I agree. She isn't worth the headache. You deserve better than that.
Click to expand...

:lmao:

water is tainted... don't drink it!

trust me ... drama now.. drama later.

that poontang got you thinking its worth waiting out but honey.. there is poontang everywhere
 
Frisky said:
.. there is poontang everywhere
Click to expand...
thats true, but some of us have trouble getting it.

its easy for u to say since u have ur own, and girls can get sex much easier than guys, cause all they have to do is pull their pants down, whereas guys need to actually open their mouths and do some talking/wooing

atrius, dont listen to frisky at all, but do not stay with that girl
 
SublimeZM said:
straight up.

shes trying to hook u both and play for the better.

either use her for sex or get her otuta there
Click to expand...
I agreed up until the last line,but you will learn this with experience bro,chicks like this will get prego on purpose to keep you,dont even touch her
 
SublimeZM said:
thats true, but some of us have trouble getting it.

its easy for u to say since u have ur own, and girls can get sex much easier than guys, cause all they have to do is pull their pants down, whereas guys need to actually open their mouths and do some talking/wooing

atrius, dont listen to frisky at all, but do not stay with that girl
Click to expand...


dood

lol
 
Frisky said:
trust me ... drama now.. drama later.

that poontang got you thinking its worth waiting out but honey.. there is poontang everywhere
Click to expand...

well to be honest, that's not what I want out of her... she's (believe it or not) a really sweet girl and a lot of fun to be with...

I'm not sure what to say, I know I should drop her...
 
TheOak01 said:
I agreed up until the last line,but you will learn this with experience bro,chicks like this will get prego on purpose to keep you,dont even touch her
Click to expand...

gah... pregnant... :worried:
 
nycgirl said:
(Frisky - Is there something in the water? :lmao: )


I agree. She isn't worth the headache. You deserve better than that.
Click to expand...

Thanks... I'm not putting up with this for much longer, that's for sure.
 
TheOak01 said:
I agreed up until the last line,but you will learn this with experience bro,chicks like this will get prego on purpose to keep you,dont even touch her
Click to expand...
thats why u use condoms it hought?

shit, getting pregnant on purpose is funny, but in that case if u like her then uv won the games and got her ehh?
 
SublimeZM said:
thats why u use condoms it hought?

shit, getting pregnant on purpose is funny, but in that case if u like her then uv won the games and got her ehh?
Click to expand...

well she says she doesn't want to get pregnant any time soon, at least not without being married or whatever... so.... I really don't think that she would do that to someone...
 
artrius said:
well she says she doesn't want to get pregnant any time soon, at least not without being married or whatever... so.... I really don't think that she would do that to someone...
Click to expand...
yet shes saying "i love you" to online people, and craving attention, and leading u on and shit?

i dont think alot of stuff happens but it does...

i have some individual experiences with liars, but trust me, girls can make u believe anything. stick to porn and tissues, it works dude, it works
 
SublimeZM said:
thats why u use condoms it hought?

shit, getting pregnant on purpose is funny, but in that case if u like her then uv won the games and got her ehh?
Click to expand...


women do this man,Ive had a friend get trapped by a nut job,as horrible as it is to say Im glad she lost the kid and he left, now before everyone jumps on me about that comment,this bitch advertised she tried to get prego to keep him because their relationship was on the rocks large, and we all thought she was normal until this happened,nobody even knew she was a nutter
 
she still wants to be single, and feel things out with this guy, but wants to hold on to you too.

Best thing you can do is just cut her loose, let her do whatever she wants. She'll end up running back to you.

When that happens post another thread asking what to do, and we'll all tell you to tell her to pound sand.
 
Lestat said:
she still wants to be single, and feel things out with this guy, but wants to hold on to you too.

Best thing you can do is just cut her loose, let her do whatever she wants. She'll end up running back to you.

When that happens post another thread asking what to do, and we'll all tell you to tell her to pound sand.
Click to expand...

Like I said... I'm gonna tell her today that I'm not looking for a friendship. You see, I listen to her, I never laugh at some of her issues, and I try to see it from her perspective, and she tells me everything, as she's told me that "she has never felt so comfortable with someone before". She's also never had sex with someone that wasn't her boyfriend... Anyways, my point is that she doesn't want to lose her friendship with me, because I try to understand her and all. I'm going to tell her that I'm sorry, but I don't have the time or energy to have a long distance friendship with her, or anyone else, that i'm looking for a relationship. I'm not sure how that will go over, but if she doesn't like it, she can just go do whatever with that other guy. I think I've let her run over me long enough.
 
artrius said:
Like I said... I'm gonna tell her today that I'm not looking for a friendship. You see, I listen to her, I never laugh at some of her issues, and I try to see it from her perspective, and she tells me everything, as she's told me that "she has never felt so comfortable with someone before". She's also never had sex with someone that wasn't her boyfriend... Anyways, my point is that she doesn't want to lose her friendship with me, because I try to understand her and all. I'm going to tell her that I'm sorry, but I don't have the time or energy to have a long distance friendship with her, or anyone else, that i'm looking for a relationship. I'm not sure how that will go over, but if she doesn't like it, she can just go do whatever with that other guy. I think I've let her run over me long enough.
Click to expand...


you just answered your own question,you moved into the friends zone
 
TheOak01 said:
women do this man,Ive had a friend get trapped by a nut job,as horrible as it is to say Im glad she lost the kid and he left, now before everyone jumps on me about that comment,this bitch advertised she tried to get prego to keep him because their relationship was on the rocks large, and we all thought she was normal until this happened,nobody even knew she was a nutter
Click to expand...
thats fucking crazy
 
TheOak01 said:
you just answered your own question,you moved into the friends zone
Click to expand...
plus long distance?

wtf are u doing bro, long distance= she getting fucked by other dudes when ur not around
 
artrius said:
Ok so here's the deal... I've been dating this asian chick for a month or so now, and we aren't bf/gf yet, but it was heading that way. Now i've run into a situation with her, and I want your opinions on it...

First, a little background. I met her when I was with my ex (when I was in NY), and she wanted to date me, but she knew I was attatched. So she goes on to look for other guys and she happens to find one... on the internet. She hasn't met him yet, but she said the magic three words (i love you) to him.
Click to expand...

No need to read further than this part rob. Ditch the bitch. Or strictly use her for booty calls.
 
If someone said (to sum it up) "Hey, I'm interested in someone else and will drop you like trash once it's more convenient for me to be with this other person, but I'll kind of be here for you until my real relationship works out", I can't see me agreeing to it.
 
artrius said:
I know I should, but I still have some feelings for her...
Click to expand...

Choose your response:

a) Nothing that a few shots of vodka can't fix.
b) Don't confused "feelings" with conveience <sp>.
 
Raina said:
If someone said (to sum it up) "Hey, I'm interested in someone else and will drop you like trash once it's more convenient for me to be with this other person, but I'll kind of be here for you until my real relationship works out", I can't see me agreeing to it.
Click to expand...

true... :(
 
EnderJE said:
Choose your response:

a) Nothing that a few shots of vodka can't fix.
b) Don't confused "feelings" with conveience <sp>.
Click to expand...

if I was a drinker, I'd definantly go with a) . :chomp:
 
Like all the others said, she sounds nuts. Very needy and insecure to have to string two guys along. And friendships (at least from my experience) don't really work when drama has ensued. DROP her quickly!!!!
 
Raina said:
Nobody wants to be the "I'll settle for you" backup plan. :(
Click to expand...

Yeah, that one really hurts. And it stays with you.

Art - at best she is emotionally immature and has no real concept of what "i love you" means, and at worst she jsut a manipulative bitch playing both ends. Seriously, there are TOO MANY women in the world for you to buy into her drama and games and actually pretend to believe it's a healthy r'ship.

Tell her that her indecision makes YOUR decision easy and kick her to the curb. You deserve better.
 
Artarius,

1. There is always going to be some other punk who is going to say the "I love you" shit to bang your girl. Just expect it.

2. Always expect your girl to create this drama love triangle bullshit. (for attention or to see if he is better than you etc)

As soon as this shit starts...Don't get pissed at her or him. And, definately don't get into an ass kissing competition with the other guy. (girls love creating this situation)

The best thing to do is say (calmly)... "Thats OK. I think we should see other people." Then, smile and say good bye. Trust me. Turning the tables will make her flip.
 
well I talked to her today... she didn't really think she was doing this, she just wanted to find out what she wanted in a bf. Basically, she was really really upset, and she just ended the conversation and I can't get a hold of her... it looks like it may be over with her... i know that some of what you all are saying is true... but still... i feel horrible that I upset her like this... :(
 
awittyusername said:
The best thing to do is say (calmly)... "Thats OK. I think we should see other people." Then, smile and say good bye. Trust me. Turning the tables will make her flip.
Click to expand...

You know, someone told be the exact same thing today... I honestly don't think that she's playing a game with me or the other guy, she just is trying to figure out what she wants....
 
artrius said:
well I talked to her today... she didn't really think she was doing this, she just wanted to find out what she wanted in a bf. Basically, she was really really upset, and she just ended the conversation and I can't get a hold of her... it looks like it may be over with her... i know that some of what you all are saying is true... but still... i feel horrible that I upset her like this... :(
Click to expand...

Yes, I know it sucks. I have been there before. But, don't worry...You will get pussy again. :)

I suggest you go out looking for some more ASAP. While they can still smell it on you.


BTW. Don't call the bitch
 
awittyusername said:
Yes, I know it sucks. I have been there before. But, don't worry...You will get pussy again. :)

I suggest you go out looking for some more ASAP. While they can still smell it on you.


BTW. Don't call the bitch
Click to expand...

If i was a drinker, I'd be out getting shitface drunk right now... and lemme tell you, it sure sounds tempting...
 
artrius said:
You know, someone told be the exact same thing today... I honestly don't think that she's playing a game with me or the other guy, she just is trying to figure out what she wants....
Click to expand...

Who ever told you this has been in the exact situations. I know instinct is to kiss her ass and compete for her with the other punk. But, this is exactly what she wants. Don't reward her for treating you like a bitch.
 
awittyusername said:
Who ever told you this has been in the exact situations. I know instinct is to kiss her ass and compete for her with the other punk. But, this is exactly what she wants. Don't reward her for treating you like a bitch.
Click to expand...

Well if she does give me any more "well I want to see the other guy crap" then yeah, i'm not gonna kiss her ass about it. I never really have, though, I've never given a shit who she's dated (she's seen some other guys while dating me). Its just what she said last night that really upset me...
 
artrius said:
Well if she does give me any more "well I want to see the other guy crap" then yeah, i'm not gonna kiss her ass about it. I never really have, though, I've never given a shit who she's dated (she's seen some other guys while dating me). Its just what she said last night that really upset me...
Click to expand...

Yes, I have been there.

Do you have any friends to hang out with tonight? So, you..DON'T CALL HER!.

Seriously, just be cool, laid back, and ACT like you don't give a fuck.
 
nycgirl said:
Art, why are you trying to justify her actions? You are trying to see something that isn't there.
Click to expand...

I honestly don't think she's the kind of person that would do that... I hate to say it, but she's almost too sheltered and naive for that.... she said that she's just trying to figure out what she wants in a partner... I think she's being honest...
 
awittyusername said:
Yes, I have been there.

Do you have any friends to hang out with tonight? So, you..DON'T CALL HER!.

Seriously, just be cool, laid back, and ACT like you don't give a fuck.
Click to expand...

Yeah, I think I should do that. Sitting here is only making this crap fester in my head...
 
Sounds to me like she's just a nice kid that doesn't know what she wants. When you called her on it, she probably didn't realize: a.) The depth of your feelings, or b.) That she was being dramatic.
I don't think she was being a bitch, or playing games intentionally. If she calls back, great, maybe you can work things out. If not, then you've learned a lesson. When you want something or someone, let them know. None of this wishy washy dating other guys stuff. That way there's no confusion. Women often expect us to be psychic. We should be careful we don't expect the same of them.
 
artrius said:
I honestly don't think she's the kind of person that would do that... I hate to say it, but she's almost too sheltered and naive for that.... she said that she's just trying to figure out what she wants in a partner... I think she's being honest...
Click to expand...

Okay. Then let her figure out what she wants. But, you shouldn't wait around for that and she shouldn't expect you to wait. Go out and date other people - have fun. If she still wants you and you are available, then fine. Life is too short.
 
artrius said:
I honestly don't think she's the kind of person that would do that... I hate to say it, but she's almost too sheltered and naive for that.... she said that she's just trying to figure out what she wants in a partner... I think she's being honest...
Click to expand...

:lmao:

Art, you are so young and naive. Women lie, create situations for attention, create drama, etc etc. But, then can either justify their actions, or get sympathy from their friends or the guys that want to bang them
 
hidngod said:
Sounds to me like she's just a nice kid that doesn't know what she wants. When you called her on it, she probably didn't realize: a.) The depth of your feelings, or b.) That she was being dramatic.
I don't think she was being a bitch, or playing games intentionally. If she calls back, great, maybe you can work things out. If not, then you've learned a lesson. When you want something or someone, let them know. None of this wishy washy dating other guys stuff. That way there's no confusion. Women often expect us to be psychic. We should be careful we don't expect the same of them.
Click to expand...

Well, she knows that I want to be with her, she's just having a hard time figuring out what she wants...

Damn, I feel horrible about this............ i really care for her, for some reason... i know there are other fish in the sea (and closer ones to boot), but I guess I've screwed this one up, and I should just chalk it up to experience.... although i don't want to....
 
nycgirl said:
Okay. Then let her figure out what she wants. But, you shouldn't wait around for that and she shouldn't expect you to wait. Go out and date other people - have fun. If she still wants you and you are available, then fine. Life is too short.
Click to expand...

that's true, but I really don't want to date anyone else but her right now... I guess I just need to get over it already...
 
awittyusername said:
:lmao:

Art, you are so young and naive. Women lie, create situations for attention, create drama, etc etc. But, then can either justify their actions, or get sympathy from their friends or the guys that want to bang them
Click to expand...

Well I know that I don't know everything about this, but I know she isn't the type to do that.......... i think... maybe i'm not conveying her side correctly, but I know she isn't like that...
 
artrius said:
Yeah, I think I should do that. Sitting here is only making this crap fester in my head...
Click to expand...

damn, I can't get ahold of anyone... I guess I'll just go see star wars or something, I haven't seen it yet...
 
well i just talked to her, and she's really upset with herself right now... not sure what's going to happen at this point... i'll keep you guys posted. Thanks for the help!
 
in the beginning you always expect the best out of people, and yes they temporarily mold themselves to fit your ideal image. Right now you think she's an angel, but all these warning signs are right in front of you, there's trouble on the horizon, and before you realize it you're in over your head. Get out now, it's a long distance relationship so there's not as much awkwardness. Delete her number, email, whatever and leave with your dignity intact.
 
Mr_Sinister said:
in the beginning you always expect the best out of people, and yes they temporarily mold themselves to fit your ideal image. Right now you think she's an angel, but all these warning signs are right in front of you, there's trouble on the horizon, and before you realize it you're in over your head. Get out now, it's a long distance relationship so there's not as much awkwardness. Delete her number, email, whatever and leave with your dignity intact.
Click to expand...

:frsty:
 
NiteOwl said:
Any girl that thinks she loves someone from just talking on the internet is a fucking wack job - RUN, don't walk away from that shit fast. Much better fish in the sea...This is just foreshadowing of all the bs you will have to put up with if you continue to see her...
Click to expand...
you got that right bor
 
artrius said:
You know, someone told be the exact same thing today... I honestly don't think that she's playing a game with me or the other guy, she just is trying to figure out what she wants....
Click to expand...
then shes doing a good job of playing you.

dont fall for it wtf
 
awittyusername said:
Yes, I have been there.

Do you have any friends to hang out with tonight? So, you..DON'T CALL HER!.

Seriously, just be cool, laid back, and ACT like you don't give a fuck.
Click to expand...
tape something to the inside of ur phone that says "dont call the bitch" so everytime u pick it up, u see that, and are reminded not to call the bitch
 
artrius said:
Thanks... I'm not putting up with this for much longer, that's for sure.
Click to expand...


this is gonna be harsh, but the truth is you will be putting up with this for much longer...I've been in your shoes bor, this bitch broke your spine and she will have free reign to fuck with you...you say you'll walk away but I doubt you will...
...so with that dismal forecast, your only solution is to date this chopstickity hottie, fall in love with her, have her cheat/swindle/sex you and all your friends, have a broken heart for a year or so, then be fully recovered and a much better and wiser dude. So, you are looking at aprox 2 (including recovery time) years this bitch is going to take from you. But, alas, you will be a stronger bor.
 
Gambino said:
this is gonna be harsh, but the truth is you will be putting up with this for much longer...I've been in your shoes bor, this bitch broke your spine and she will have free reign to fuck with you...you say you'll walk away but I doubt you will...
...so with that dismal forecast, your only solution is to date this chopstickity hottie, fall in love with her, have her cheat/swindle/sex you and all your friends, have a broken heart for a year or so, then be fully recovered and a much better and wiser dude. So, you are looking at a aprox 2 (including recovery time) years this bitch is going to take from you. But, alas, you will be a stronger bor.
Click to expand...

lol, you know what, you're probably right... hahaha.... all I can do is laugh...


although I've messed things up with her right now, so I don't know if things are gonna go my way or not... :whatever:
 
artrius said:
lol, you know what, you're probably right... hahaha.... all I can do is laugh...


although I've messed things up with her right now, so I don't know if things are gonna go my way or not... :whatever:
Click to expand...


seriously dude no maliciousness on my part with that post...but earmark it and check back in 2 years, their is a very good chance it will be spot on.
at least it was for me...
 
Gambino said:
seriously dude no maliciousness on my part with that post...but earmark it and check back in 2 years, their is a very good chance it will be spot on.
at least it was for me...
Click to expand...

yeah, I understand bro... the only way I would really walk away at this point is if she said that she didn't want to be with me.... I hope I'm not setting myself up... I trust her... but I guess I might be naive....
 
artrius said:
yeah, I understand bro... the only way I would really walk away at this point is if she said that she didn't want to be with me.... I hope I'm not setting myself up... I trust her... but I guess I might be naive....
Click to expand...

yes sir
but sometimes a good piece of ass is hard to turn down, no matter how bad she is for you...
 
Gambino said:
this is gonna be harsh, but the truth is you will be putting up with this for much longer...I've been in your shoes bor, this bitch broke your spine and she will have free reign to fuck with you...you say you'll walk away but I doubt you will...
...so with that dismal forecast, your only solution is to date this chopstickity hottie, fall in love with her, have her cheat/swindle/sex you and all your friends, have a broken heart for a year or so, then be fully recovered and a much better and wiser dude. So, you are looking at aprox 2 (including recovery time) years this bitch is going to take from you. But, alas, you will be a stronger bor.
Click to expand...
lol@2 years

i learned my shit in like 3 months and its not like i can get any other girls so nothing was really taken from me
 
SublimeZM said:
lol@2 years

i learned my shit in like 3 months and its not like i can get any other girls so nothing was really taken from me
Click to expand...

son, with the deadlift that you have at your age, you should be droppin thongs left and right. quit with the dick and fart jokes, chics hate that shit
 
SublimeZM said:
then shes doing a good job of playing you.

dont fall for it wtf
Click to expand...

Hammer, meet nail. Sublime is completely correct. Any player worth their salt, male OR FEMALE, knows that when the mark figures out they are being played the game is up.

She's running game on you. She may be naive and innocent, that doesn't mean that she ain't got no game. It just means that she hides it in wet doe eyes and a soft voice that sounds so sincere.

Step back and see it for what it is.
 
Gambino said:
son, with the deadlift that you have at your age, you should be droppin thongs left and right. quit with the dick and fart jokes, chics hate that shit
Click to expand...
how u know how much i deadlift?


i dont make dick and fart jokes,

actually fuck i do, okay ill stop
 
aandd said:
Hammer, meet nail. Sublime is completely correct. Any player worth their salt, male OR FEMALE, knows that when the mark figures out they are being played the game is up.

She's running game on you. She may be naive and innocent, that doesn't mean that she ain't got no game. It just means that she hides it in wet doe eyes and a soft voice that sounds so sincere.

Step back and see it for what it is.
Click to expand...

hmmmmmmmm..................... she said she's gonna call me tonight... I think its safe to say that if she doesn't want to see me anymore, that this analysis is wrong... however, if she does want to stay with me... well I don't know, I might have to learn the hard way....... :worried:

gambino was right....
 
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