Worst-Case Scenarios
How to Survive If You Wake Up Next to Someone Whose Name You Don’t Remember
At Her Place
1. Do not panic. Evidence of your partner’s name exists somewhere nearby. Your task will be to find it before she awakens, or before she starts any sort of meaningful conversation.
2. Get up and go to the bathroom. The bathroom is a normal place to visit first thing in the morning, and it is also a place where you might discover her name.
3. Look through the medicine cabinet for prescription medicines with her name on the label.
4. Sort through magazines, looking for subscription labels with her name and address.
5. Go through a wastebasket to find discarded junk mail addressed to her.
6. Return to the bedroom. If she is awake, ask her to make coffee for you. Use the time alone to search the bedroom for evidence. Look for: wallet, checkbook, ID or name bracelet, photo album, scrapbook, business cards (a stack of cards, not just one), or luggage labels. If she is sleeping, look for these and other items throughout the house.
Be Aware
Try to find at least two items with the same name to be certain that you have identified her, unless the name on one item rings a bell.
At Your Place
1. Use terms of endearment when addressing her. Do not guess at her name. Use acceptable terms of endearment:
* Honey/Sweetie/Cutie
* Darling/Baby/Sugar
* Beautiful/Sexy/Gorgeous
2. Unless you are certain you have ample time, do not go through her belongings. If your partner is showering, you can count on having at least a few minutes of privacy to search through her belongings. Otherwise, do not risk it—it would be far more embarrassing to be caught searching through her possessions than to admit you cannot remember her name. (She may be in the same predicament.)
3. Ask leading questions while making small talk. Fishing for information is risky and can backfire by calling attention to what you are trying to do. However, if you feel you can pull it off, try to trick her into revealing her name:
* While getting dressed, pull out your own ID and ask her if she thinks that your hair is better now or in the picture. Laugh about how silly you used to look. Ask if she likes the picture on her license. (She may think that you are checking her age.)
* Ask her if she ever had a nickname. She might say, “No, just [Name].”
* Ask her how she got her name.
4. As she is leaving, give her your business card and ask for hers. If she does not have a business card, ask her to write her vital information on yours. Tell her you may want to send her a little surprise. Do not forget to send something later in the week and make sure that you spell her name correctly.