Wife or Girl Friend

[Cutiebaby]

I had an affair for four years with the man I'm currently married to. I'm the first one to tell anyone, while the relationship is close to perfect, the affair was a MAJOR mistake. I should have walked out on my first husband long before I did, end of discussion (the nice thing about being young is that you get to make dumb mistakes). My current husband and and I are very, very happy together, but we're a rare exception; usually marriages that spring out of adulterous relationships fail.

If you love your wife, then focus on that relationship. If you DON'T love your wife, then let it go, get out, she deserves her freedom, too. Why should she be wasting her time with a guy who isn't in love with her?

Fully agreed

 

[solidspine]

solid spine, how did it go?

Thanks for asking,


How do I say it, well it did not go anyway I planned, and now I suppose there is a second step at least to end it.

When she gets emotional (hurt, crying), I get emotional too, and lose my confidence, or try not to hurt anyone, which is a mistake.

So the message was delivered, not received, and needs to be delivered once more. But there was nothing physical, just conversation in a restaurant and then is a more private location

 

[stilleto]

Thanks for asking,


How do I say it, well it did not go anyway I planned, and now I suppose there is a second step at least to end it.

When she gets emotional (hurt, crying), I get emotional too, and lose my confidence, or try not to hurt anyone, which is a mistake.

So the message was delivered, not received, and needs to be delivered once more. But there was nothing physical, just conversation in a restaurant and then is a more private location

well, you're on the right track. if you think its hard now, picture it in a few weeks or months from now.
you have to do this. for so many reasons.
good luck, and if you need support, we're here for ya.

 

[seaking420]

When she gets emotional (hurt, crying), I get emotional too, and lose my confidence, or try not to hurt anyone, which is a mistake.

I'm the same way, I dont like to see a woman cry, it kills me, especially if its me that causes it. But you got to stick to your guns. The longer you wait the harder it is. Easier said than done though. You put it out there now she just has to let it simmer until she fully understands. Good luck bro.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Its hard to imagine anything else when your wife wont give it up..


and need I remind ANYONE that a sex life is a hell of a lot more important than her doing the laundry or "cleaning up after me"

If I wanted someone to clean up after me.. Id hire a fucking maid..not get married.

Seems like many married women cant figure out how to do both.

LOL I dont have to clean anything and my husband is so good to me that the only time I say no is if I am ill (happens more than I would like) or if we just got done and he wants to go again.

Problem solved.

 

[solidspine]

well, you're on the right track. if you think its hard now, picture it in a few weeks or months from now.
you have to do this. for so many reasons.
good luck, and if you need support, we're here for ya.

Thank you very much

 

[sardonicone]

LOL I dont have to clean anything and my husband is so good to me that the only time I say no is if I am ill (happens more than I would like) or if we just got done and he wants to go again.

Problem solved.

Wife doesn't clean (often) cook (ever) and I don't get laid.

She's also out of shape, and when she's not at work, dresses only in sweatpants.

She does make me laugh though, that still goes a long way for me.

 

[solidspine]

Wife doesn't clean (often) cook (ever) and I don't get laid.

She's also out of shape, and when she's not at work, dresses only in sweatpants.

She does make me laugh though, that still goes a long way for me.

Sounds familar.

 

[Bikini Mod]

I totally understand where the men are at with this but Stilleto's initial post in reference to this topis is SPOT ON. One of the reasons why I never thought I would remarry. Being a wife (to my first husband) SUCKED ASS. I much prefered being the girlfriend thereafter LOL. But then my last husband came along and made me see that marriage is not about cooking/cleaning/fucking OR ownership but about FRIENDSHIP and sharing life with someone that you GENUINELY LIKE AND RESPECT WHO RECIPROCATES THESE FEELINGS 100%.

If you are not happy in your marriage the way I see it you have two alternatives pointblank:

1. Pour your energies into working on your marriage until it either gets better or you decide to call it quits.

or

2. Call it quits and move on.

Involving another party wont fix a thing but will only complicate your problems exponentially.

 

[nimbus]

We got together again, because her lover was dying of cancer, it wasn’t and isn’t pretty. She called and I was the willing shoulder, you know the rest.

ROFL, sounds like a really classy girl. You two deserve eachother.