Why can't women and men be friends?

[fyxgel]

another thing I'd like to add.. (to answer the original question)

They most certainly can be.

Lemme ask you men this question? The last time a male/male friendship between you fizzled out did you base it on the fact that he was a guy? Or was it based on something that had to do with character and/or circumstances?

Most of my friends have been guys since I was in kindergarten. Every man that I have become involved with has been my friend first, but I have most certainly not been sexually involved with all of my friends. What does that mean? Nothing... no great mystery here. Either two people get along or they don't. period.

Yes, men and women can become friends of course. if they get along, then they get along and can become friends. The thing that you and many girls fail to realize though is that it is more valuable for a guy to have a girlfriend than it is than a friend thats a girl.
Therefore if at any moment he meets a girl attractive enough, that he is interested in her, then he will want more than a friendship, its that simple. In a man's mind, its almost always worth the risk to get into a relationship with a girl who has friend potential and attractive potential.

I mean think about it. If a girl becomes a guys friend, she already has half the criteria necessary to become his girlfriend. if she was attractive to begin with, or becomes more attractive later on (maybe even through him just getting to know her better) then the relationship possibility comes into play.

maybe girls are different and value friends that are boys, more than they value boyfriends.

But I'm just letting you know how it is from a guys point of view.

In most cases, the girls I become friends with and not want anything more, are either: A) all the girls I meet that I'm not interested in, or B) They already are in a relationship.
And then of course there's always-
C) I become friends with her, and I find her attractive [maybe that helped draw me to become friends with her, heheh] and for the future she could possibly be a potential prospect to some degree.

 

[fyxgel]

God forid you get to know someone irrespective of their gender, right? Maybe hang with someone because they are a good person, intelligent, funny, supportive - youknow, all that shit that has nothing to do with ta-tas.

Oh shit!... a female's value begins and ends with her sex. Silly me. I forgot that for a moment.

i think maybe we are misunderstanding each other. I would get to know someone who is a good person and has other good qualities besides appearances.
I'm just saying, that it's hard getting to know anyone, without asking them to hang out with you. And usually when you ask someone to hang out with you, in any fashion thats constructive towards getting to know them (Note: 1 on 1 or maybe a double date or something please, not a large group where there are other guys macking on her, and she's acting all ditsy with her girl friends)

anyways, if you want to hang out and get to know them, usually the best way to do it is one on one.
and if you do it one on one, usually it gets called a date. (if you dont call it that, other people will)

I hang out with girls in group scenarios, and have fun with them, regardless of the fact that they are of the opposite gender. The problem is that again, you really dont get to know them that well in a group situation,

therefore the only way to really get to know them is to ask them to hang out 1 on 1, aka "date them".

 

[Werd]

The thing that you and many girls fail to realize though is that it is more valuable for a guy to have a girlfriend than it is than a friend thats a girl.
.

Why?

 

[big4life]

Attraction can sometimes cause tension.

Yep.

As long as the two of them have the same expectations they can be friends, but once one begins to look for more, it causes problems. Not saying they can't still be friends, just that it can be a big enough distraction to cause long lasting problems if it is not handled correctly.

 

[jd_uk]

Up until lately I thought yes. Now, I don't think so, not good friends anyway.

www.elitefitness.com/forum/showthread.php?t=311418

 

[MattTheSkywalker]

only recently...at 28...am I learning how to do be just friends with women. Previously the women friends I had were girls I slept with but did not date.

 

[string_bean00]

Me ex always thought she had a lot of good "guy friends". That's only because they wanted to fuck her.

 

[fyxgel]

Why?

I'm not sure if I can easily explain it. I just think that the male-female romantic relationship is the strongest of all relationships, the best of them all, so to say, therefore I think its something to definately strive for.

Even if it means risking the chance of losing a friend thats a girl (by asking her out, and lets say she gets scared off).

or maybe you could be friends with an attractive girl, once you realized that u didnt have a chance with her (or at least right then) and u just wanted to stick around and be her friend.

ok, so let me rephrase, if you both are attracted to each other, i dont think its possible to remain friends, but rather it becomes 'more than friends'. That is, unless you both are just shy of your feelings (or you both dont know that you're interested in each other)

I dont think well a matched couple would push themselves away from having a wonderful relationship, by saying "you know, we should just remain friends, and pass up on a wonderful opportunity, just for the hell of it."

 

[velvett]

my girl and I have been best friends for 18 years (since we were tots)...never left each others sides, we fight like brother and sister but have never gone to bed mad at each other.

What's really weird is although we have gotten older, she looks the exact same to me...

That's awesome.
I had a relationship like that once.

It's totally golden.

 

[velvett]

Personally, I think it's easier to be friends with a man. There's no competition, cattiness, or back stabbing. At least, not as much.

That is so true.

But I have good news - as I've gotten older the girlfriends that I've kept and made new have been better than that. There's tension sometimes - especially as summer comes along but you just have to pretend not to notice (or get them tipsy).