Why can't women and men be friends?

[lucidblue]

you see, this is the problem. how the hell are you supposed to really get to know someone if you dont ask them out on a date or spend time with them one on one?

the type of situation you are talking about is unreasonable, and happens say once every 10 years (where u somehow get to know each other real well beforehand)
10 years just to get an audition with someone who may not even be the right mate? pfftt, forget that. you girls are crazy to think that is a good system

I never said it was a system I use. It's just what seems to happen to me. I've just known or been friends with all of my boyfriends before we started dating.

 

[lucidblue]

I'm not sure if I can easily explain it. I just think that the male-female romantic relationship is the strongest of all relationships, the best of them all, so to say, therefore I think its something to definately strive for.

Even if it means risking the chance of losing a friend thats a girl (by asking her out, and lets say she gets scared off).

or maybe you could be friends with an attractive girl, once you realized that u didnt have a chance with her (or at least right then) and u just wanted to stick around and be her friend.

ok, so let me rephrase, if you both are attracted to each other, i dont think its possible to remain friends, but rather it becomes 'more than friends'. That is, unless you both are just shy of your feelings (or you both dont know that you're interested in each other)

I dont think well a matched couple would push themselves away from having a wonderful relationship, by saying "you know, we should just remain friends, and pass up on a wonderful opportunity, just for the hell of it."

I pretty much agree with all of this.

 

[Raptorex]

Bottom line: Women are too dramatic and emotional. Guys aren't into that shit. At least I'm not. I can't handle chicks who get emotional. I've had cool friends that were girls in the past, but they were pretty tough chicks who didn't take shit and didn't get bogged down in their emotions. Thats what I like in a chick, someone who isn't emotionally shallow. I like chicks that can handle their bidniz, not ones who cry because they don't look like supermodels, or get jealous, etc.

You have to know when to just to know it is emotion and deal with it...rather than hinging on every word.

 

[Testosterone boy]

They most certainly can be.

Lemme ask you men this question? The last time a male/male friendship between you fizzled out did you base it on the fact that he was a guy? Or was it based on something that had to do with character and/or circumstances?

Most of my friends have been guys since I was in kindergarten. Every man that I have become involved with has been my friend first, but I have most certainly not been sexually involved with all of my friends. What does that mean? Nothing... no great mystery here. Either two people get along or they don't. period.

AHEM..................the trend continues....................


Women generally claim to have boyfriends while men usually do not claim to have a girlfriend.

Now we are seeing lots of women that "mostly have male friends" while the guys rarely claim to have "female friends."


I wonder how many women tell people that I am a friend or boyfriend?

 

[Werd]

Two of my male friends claim to have many female friends. There is an obvious distintion between a female friend/ male friend and a girlfriend/boyfriend. The first is a platonic relationship, the other is not. I do also have male friends (now) that I have been intimate with. Are they my boyfriend? NO. They are just guy friends who I happened to have sex with at one time.

The guy friends that I spoke of in the beginning - NO SEX - JUST FRIENDS. They are both 40 something yr old men (one is drop dead gorgeous and in amazing shape - professional stunt man - but he never ever made a move on me. We both were very attracted to each other but decided against it as we both knew that one of us would end up getting hurt as neither of us was truly emotionally available at the time and we respected each other too much to do that for "just sex". Damn, I gotta give him a call LOL - see if he is available these days.).

I don't think it matters if you are not in a committed relationship at all.

I don't lie to anyone about anything, there is no need.

As I said before, I think this all hinges on one thing: maturity. As long as two people are straight up with each other, sex (whether they have it, never had it, had it once but do not continue, or any variant thereof) should never be an issue if the two involved are mature adults.

Again... only my .02

 

[strongsmartsexy]

I have several good female friends. My wife takes issue with that at times, but she has male freinds and so I just remind her of that.

The really silly part is, she worries that I'll become intimate with them. 'cept the one's she worries about, I wouldn't become intimate with under any circumstances.

She has a couple female friends who I maintain a good distance from overall. When she complains that I'm not being friendly I let her know that they're being overly friendly. THOSE she just blows off...

 

[Lao Tzu]

my presence.

All in all I still have hope that maybe one day men and women could be buddies.


Sigh.

im your buddy and ive never tried to lay you.

 

[velvett]

im your buddy and ive never tried to lay you.

Cool.

I'm really flattered.

 

[crew9]

im your buddy and ive never tried to lay you.

stuck in the friend zone eh

 

[fyxgel]

I will not totally disagree with what you are saying. Especially the "if you are both attracted to each other and like being friends - taking it to the next level thing". However, there is something to be said for platonic friendships.

I think the one thing that makes it possible for people of the opposite sex to be good friends - regardless of whether or not they have had sex has to do with one thing and one thing alone:

MATURITY.

Just my .02

Maturity? you can be mature and still want a romantic relationship with a woman.

Don't assume that just because a guy wants to be in a relationship with you (because he finds you attractive) means that he's immature.

sure, if he chases all kinds of different girls, or is just out there to try to find a piece of ass, yes that's immature. But it is completely human and a good thing, for a guy to seek a relationship with a woman that he's attracted to, that does not mean that he is immature. I think it depends on if he's after the relationship between you two, or if he is just after the sex.

But there are plenty of guys out there who want to get to know you better, and aren't looking to just get into your pants. The problem is, that women by default are attracted to the men that are the players.