What's the strangest thing you've ever used to wipe your ass?

[sereneman]

I had a roommate in college that I could not stand. I will go out of my way to get along with people. But this guy was just a prick. He used to call me musclehead. I wanted to beat the shit out of him, but I didn't want to get kicked out of the dorm. He shot me with a watergun one night and told me that it had acid in it and that was the only way he could get me to try it he said. He told me that in a few minutes i might start tripping from the acid. That was the last straw. The little bastard. I took his toothbrush and brushed my ass with it and scrubbed all around the toilet that was shared by 4 people. I spit a loogie in his peanut butter and put Nair in his shampoo. After that, nothing he did bothered me that much. Some of you will think that I must really be an asshole to do something like that. But if you knew what I put up with from this jerk, you might not feel that way.

 

[dimitrios]

When I was young (8 yrs old) I used posion Ivy. I learned after that what it looked like

 

[guards]

Poison ivy...although i didn't know it was poison ivy at the time

 

[waldo]

A friend wanted to take a shit really badly after clubbing middle of the night. There was no place and he took a crap in the telephone booth and started tearing the telephone directory to wipe his ass. Same night earlier in the club he was talking to his DJ friend and threw up all over his system.