What's the strangest thing you've ever used to wipe your ass?

[Wynn]

Christmas themed toilet paper. It was not as absorbent as regular tp. All that red ink used to plaster Santa's face all over it made it tough to use. It was probably just for decoration.

 

[casavant]

This is the old fashioned toilet where you gotta squat.

 

[WODIN]

I whipe my ass with baby whipes.

 

[rnch]

my broly/best friend/partner in higher acts of stupidity, after a weekend of heavy partying was driving home from work and realized he wasn't gonna make it back to his own bathroom.

he stopped on the middle of the thankfully deserted country road, and dumped behind the car, using both of his short athletic white socks for toilet paper. holing on the car bumper for support and wiping with the other hand..........

i was laughing so hard i almost had to go to the bathroom!!!!!!

 

[Longhorn85]

I've used tree leaves before.

 

[spongebob]

well one day i was taking a big shit and i looked over and noticed the toilet paper roll was empty. then i remembered earlier that day that the family toy poodle had pulled all of it off the roll playing around and just at that time the little bastard came running in, so i grabbed him and wiped my ass. he never fucked with the toilet paper again. the end.

 

[casavant]

well one day i was taking a big shit and i looked over and noticed the toilet paper roll was empty. then i remembered earlier that day that the family toy poodle had pulled all of it off the roll playing around and just at that time the little bastard came running in, so i grabbed him and wiped my ass. he never fucked with the toilet paper again. the end.

You can also take the cardboard center of the TP, unwind it, and then pull apart the layers of cardboard. Crumple it up a few times to soften it, and there ya go...


...the poodle sounds like more fun though.

 

[prittie]

talc

I used talc once and it dried out my asshole until only the skin remind and it was clean!.
How many of you have used "corn cobs" for a wipper of your ass
it removes the shit and the itch all at the same time!.
I once even used a handful of leaves and later found out the leaves were poison ivy,talk about a "itchy hole" it lasted 3 weeks
and the only cure was noxzema and hydrogen peroxide and this left your hole very senative,like a blasting cap,if you passed gas the itch would start again,however a toothbrush and noxzema did wonders when insert into the anus to brush away the itch!
They to keep the itch from returning I spread petroleum jelly all over my ass to prevent any shit or gas from starting the itch again.

 

[Mysterio]

I've used sand paper before.










J/K but imagine though!

 

[sereneman]

Well once I got stuck out in the middle on nowhere and had to wipe my ass with a dollar. I got shit all over myself and my friend was like, damn how did you get shit all over yourself, I thought you said you had a dollar to wipe your ass. I said, "Yeah, but you try wiping your ass with 3 quarters, 2 dimes, and a nickel."