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What expectations do you have...

OK how about a pulse...i kid...i kid

i feel I give 110% to the girl i am seeing and I just want what I put in, that is all
 
respect, flexibility and humor

I need an equal and a partner that gets being on the same side of us vs. them.





























Tongue talents are always a HUGE plus though...
 
I'm actually talking to a girl now. I'm waiting for her to come back to my college town. We haven't done anything yet; we're like good friends right now, but we both expect more. I expect someone caring, honest, and interested in me. I have found to not expect too much because I have been screwed by the last 3 girls for being the nice guy.
 
Respect for me & Resepect for himself
Honest with me & honest with himself
Communication
Someone that listens and will be there for me
Signs of Affection (hugs, kisses, kind words, etc)
 
respect is very big too, should go without saying
 
cwc73 said:
I'm actually talking to a girl now. I'm waiting for her to come back to my college town. We haven't done anything yet; we're like good friends right now, but we both expect more. I expect someone caring, honest, and interested in me. I have found to not expect too much because I have been screwed by the last 3 girls for being the nice guy.
Click to expand...
Yeah but do you feel you go in slightly blindsighted if you expect nothing?? Good point here though.

If I put my entire mental, emotional, physical being into someone and the "us" factor...i expect a fair amount of effort in return. NYC girl said it well with the affection part.
 
habitualhealth said:
Yeah but do you feel you go in slightly blindsighted if you expect nothing?? Good point here though.

If I put my entire mental, emotional, physical being into someone and the "us" factor...i expect a fair amount of effort in return. NYC girl said it well with the affection part.
Click to expand...


Heyy...how you doin... :rolleyes:
 
nycgirl said:
Respect for me & Resepect for himself
Honest with me & honest with himself
Communication
Someone that listens and will be there for me
Signs of Affection (hugs, kisses, kind words, etc)
Click to expand...

Nice picks.


Oh, and I WANT CARDS DAMMIT!
B'days
Valentines
Holidays
and mostly for no damn good reason.

;)
 
a 50/50 split in feelings, and love

actually a 110/110 but that isnt mathematically possible.

(but would be ideal)
 
someone who gets me, understands the possible nuance behind what i say,
often sees what i see, and knows how i often think and feel, without necessarily
having to discuss it.

someone who sees greatness in me, even though i may not see it myself

someone that awes me, and is awed by me. or, someone to whom i am
at least a partial mystery, and vice versa.

someone who makes me want to be a better person*

someone with whom conversation becomes more than just a way to pass the time.

someone who is full of contradictions, as i am myself.











*yes, the line is stolen from As Good As It Gets
 
jackangel said:
someone who gets me, understands the possible nuance behind what i say,
often sees what i see, and knows how i often think and feel, without necessarily
having to discuss it.

someone who sees greatness in me, even though i may not see it myself

someone that awes me, and is awed by me. or, someone to whom i am
at least a partial mystery, and vice versa.

someone who makes me want to be a better person*

someone with whom conversation becomes more than just a way to pass the time.

someone who is full of contradictions, as i am myself.











*yes, the line is stolen from As Good As It Gets
Click to expand...



someone give this man some karma!

great post
 
jackangel said:
someone who gets me, understands the possible nuance behind what i say,
often sees what i see, and knows how i often think and feel, without necessarily
having to discuss it.

someone who sees greatness in me, even though i may not see it myself

someone that awes me, and is awed by me. or, someone to whom i am
at least a partial mystery, and vice versa.

someone who makes me want to be a better person*

someone with whom conversation becomes more than just a way to pass the time.

someone who is full of contradictions, as i am myself.











*yes, the line is stolen from As Good As It Gets
Click to expand...


when did you become me?
 
saint808 said:
sad thing is... i realize that life is not all puppy dogs and fairy dust... but how can i be so bitter so soon?
Click to expand...

i feel sorry for you, i never experience any real depression for more than 30minutes or so. it must suck to have that condition if it is that. i just cant even fathom it. ive always been an extremely happy person, not because i think its all puppy dogs and rainbows and shit, i am happy just because.

give me hug big guy.
 
My wife is my biggest fan, as I am hers. This goes along way.

She is my best friend first, wife second. God knows where I would be without her and my girls.




Honesty, brutal, candid, honesty.







and a great ass. :)
 
pitbullstl said:
My wife is my biggest fan, as I am hers. This goes along way.

She is my best friend first, wife second. God knows where I would be without her and my girls.




Honesty, brutal, candid, honesty.







and a great ass. :)
Click to expand...

As of now, this thread is now useless without pics.

A great ass is a must. I just, I just need a nice ass. Take your girl out to the ocean, have herjust stand facing the water, set up a lawn chair behind her and enjoy the scenery...atleast thats what I do.
 
How about just being my best friend! Someone I can talk to, tell my secrets to :qt:, someone who will listen and understand (or at least try to), someone who will not judge......

must be affectionate, loving, caring and good to my kids!!!!!
 
habitualhealth said:
lol

oh wow, you and i....we'd never work out. i live for yappin'. ;)
Click to expand...

Well, thank god for that.

Unfortunately, it's not entirely true though. I married one of the most talkative, bitchy, italian broads on the planet.
 
spongebob said:
i feel sorry for you, i never experience any real depression for more than 30minutes or so. it must suck to have that condition if it is that. i just cant even fathom it. ive always been an extremely happy person, not because i think its all puppy dogs and rainbows and shit, i am happy just because.

give me hug big guy.
Click to expand...
it's reality... you play the cards you are dealt i guess and the heart can over rule the mind on decisions that can literally destroy you and your psyche, but the fact that i am still here must mean something inside is still alive. This ain't no gimmick and yeah it does suck to be me sometimes.
The secret to being happy is to be happy. Trust me I don't want to be known as that guy who brings everyone down and at times i find that i amuse people... i just wish all that laughter would never end and this serious reality of sitting here right now this very instant realizing that i may be the only one that i ever end up knowing or letting know myself.
I am chilvarous by nature. Polite and soft spoken. when i love i give all that i have to give. It's just at the end of the day I often feel like I should have a giant white stick coming out my ass because i feel like an all day sucker.


but the important thing is that i don't dwell and i am not bitter, eh?

back to the matter at hand... i seriously have no expectations anymore, but i am hoping that will change because as people we constantly evolve and yeah, somewhere inside i know that humanity as a whole will let me down, but maybe i can find someone who realizes that.
 
velvett said:
Tongue talents are always a HUGE plus though...[/I]
Click to expand...
toilet-tongue.gif
 
saint808 said:
it's reality... you play the cards you are dealt i guess and the heart can over rule the mind on decisions that can literally destroy you and your psyche, but the fact that i am still here must mean something inside is still alive. This ain't no gimmick and yeah it does suck to be me sometimes.
The secret to being happy is to be happy. Trust me I don't want to be known as that guy who brings everyone down and at times i find that i amuse people... i just wish all that laughter would never end and this serious reality of sitting here right now this very instant realizing that i may be the only one that i ever end up knowing or letting know myself.
I am chilvarous by nature. Polite and soft spoken. when i love i give all that i have to give. It's just at the end of the day I often feel like I should have a giant white stick coming out my ass because i feel like an all day sucker.


but the important thing is that i don't dwell and i am not bitter, eh?

back to the matter at hand... i seriously have no expectations anymore, but i am hoping that will change because as people we constantly evolve and yeah, somewhere inside i know that humanity as a whole will let me down, but maybe i can find someone who realizes that.
Click to expand...



Just remember this....IT DOES GET BETTER!!!


I live by that saying and believe it or not, it really does...eventually!! :rose:
 
FEISTY11975 said:
Just remember this....IT DOES GET BETTER!!!

I live by that saying and believe it or not, it really does...eventually!! :rose:
Click to expand...

Yes, it does. Great advice, Fiesty.

Whenever I start to bitch and plan my pity party, I try to force myself to think about the people out there that would love to be in my shoes right now. Those that cannot afford their own place and live on the streets, people that go hungry every day, those that don't have family and friends that care about them, etc. After putting things into perspective I realize, that I'm living a pretty good life.
 
jackangel said:
someone who gets me, understands the possible nuance behind what i say,
often sees what i see, and knows how i often think and feel, without necessarily
having to discuss it.

someone who sees greatness in me, even though i may not see it myself

someone that awes me, and is awed by me. or, someone to whom i am
at least a partial mystery, and vice versa.

someone who makes me want to be a better person*

someone with whom conversation becomes more than just a way to pass the time.

someone who is full of contradictions, as i am myself.

*yes, the line is stolen from As Good As It Gets
Click to expand...
awesome post! If you aren't married or havent found that person (everyone)
Do you ever wonder if that person really exists for you?? (i do)

pitbullstl said:
My wife is my biggest fan, as I am hers. This goes along way.

She is my best friend first, wife second. God knows where I would be without her and my girls.

Honesty, brutal, candid, honesty.
Click to expand...
and this post gives hope to mine above ;)
dunk said:
a 50/50 split in feelings, and love

actually a 110/110 but that isnt mathematically possible.

(but would be ideal)
Click to expand...
best post ever

(can't believe i just said that to a "dunk" post :worried: )
 
Yes i do, just not in my immediate area

i have met some amazing woman but one that has it all is hard to find. They might have the body but the mind and MORALS are very important also. To find that right combination is not easy to find but well worth the bad dates to finally find her.
 
habitualhealth said:
awesome post! If you aren't married or havent found that person (everyone)
Do you ever wonder if that person really exists for you?? (i do)

and this post gives hope to mine above ;)
best post ever

(can't believe i just said that to a "dunk" post :worried: )
Click to expand...

Habitual, on the topic of expectations, I have found a girl that is very much what I want and vice versa...however, the only one thing as of now that stops me from taking our friendship to the next level. Her age. Now I know you are a believer in age just being a number, but she is 17, I am 19 and I guess that could be danger territory...but I really like her alot. We think so much alike that it seems like we have esp. Do you think its bad to want to persue someone underage even though all the circumstances for a good relationship are met?
 
ceasar989 said:
Habitual, on the topic of expectations, I have found a girl that is very much what I want and vice versa...however, the only one thing as of now that stops me from taking our friendship to the next level. Her age. Now I know you are a believer in age just being a number, but she is 17, I am 19 and I guess that could be danger territory...but I really like her alot. We think so much alike that it seems like we have esp. Do you think its bad to want to persue someone underage even though all the circumstances for a good relationship are met?
Click to expand...

It's weird to, because she's partly depressed with life...and somehow that attracts me to her. It's like, I wanna help her...I wanna be the reason she looks forward to waking up everymorning and can smile. She tells me already that her life is much better since she and I became friends but I just wanna take it the next level and have her feel completely one with me and the world...have her feel happy as she should. Sounds kinda sappy, but it's rare that you find people that make you feel that way.
 
ceasar989 said:
Habitual, on the topic of expectations, I have found a girl that is very much what I want and vice versa...however, the only one thing as of now that stops me from taking our friendship to the next level. Her age. Now I know you are a believer in age just being a number, but she is 17, I am 19 and I guess that could be danger territory...but I really like her alot. We think so much alike that it seems like we have esp. Do you think its bad to want to persue someone underage even though all the circumstances for a good relationship are met?
Click to expand...
Bad? No. How long has the getting to know process been? When does she turn 18? You never know the outcome until you try something. I would be careful about the underage thing. Not playing the mom card or the black cloud but you never know what people are really capable of. I would hate to see you in a situation where some girl (under age) took advantage of HER position or age with you. Proceed with caution. But have fun doing it. ;) *mommy mode off*
 
17 and 19? that's totally fine, if you're asking for an opinion based on morality or quality of character. but as a practical matter, i don't see a problem in being discreet and cautious. you can spend time developing a general relationship with her, and if you do get physical, you can either choose to go only so far for the time being, or go all out, but with extremely low-key style (assuming you've determined that she's not nutty or vindictive and liable to burn you). in any case, if there's magic between you, definitely don't let it fade. there's always some risk involved. that's how you know that you're alive*.

when you see a way, take it.


























* this bullshit has been brought to you by the people at Word Int'l.
 
ceasar989 said:
It's weird to, because she's partly depressed with life...and somehow that attracts me to her. It's like, I wanna help her...I wanna be the reason she looks forward to waking up everymorning and can smile. She tells me already that her life is much better since she and I became friends but I just wanna take it the next level and have her feel completely one with me and the world...have her feel happy as she should. Sounds kinda sappy, but it's rare that you find people that make you feel that way.
Click to expand...
OK! Retracting previous statement!

Please read this carefully....YOU CANNOT CHANGE SOMEONE. I think it is VERY dangerous for anyone to get involved with someone thinking "i can help them or change them or what have you". Very not good sweets. Gosh, my dad has this great hobby in life....it's called marriage. He's on his 5th wife and I can honestly say 4 of the 5 have begun with this mentality. She's down or sick or whatever....he's the knight and shining armor to come rescue her. I will pull the age card here and say that you are FAR TOO YOUNG to be dealing with that mentality in a relationship. I just think....and feel free anyone to pipe in here if i'm wrong....but, I think there are women out there...perhaps even legal....who have it more together and could bring more to the table for you to "work with" so to speak.

If she is not happy without you....she's never going to be TRULY happy with you. It will be a facade. You may pacify her mental state when you're around....but when you're away...the depression will still be there. My suggestion.....while still in "friend mode" I would encourage her to talk to someone...even if it's her parents....to get past the depression or help controlling it. As her friend, she's going to be more receptive to you. Mommy's $.02. ;)

My dad is clincally diagnosed manic depressant....trust me, you do not want to wear that burden or pressure on your back. I still to this day am "responsible" for my father's existence. (so he says) But he's predominantly a negative in my life because that's the only thing he knows. He feeds off of my mental stability, my strength, focus, drive....all the things he lacks. But he doesn't change. Very few cases in the world does the postive person bring the negative out of their depressed state.......it's more often you see the negative/depressed person who sucks the life out of the positive and therefore bringing them down as well. You have to be a REALLY strong person mentally to maintain your strength in situations like that. If you haven't done it....i suggest doing some research on depression. So you can understand her better and also understand what your role should be for her. :rose:
 
habitualhealth said:
OK! Retracting previous statement!

Please read this carefully....YOU CANNOT CHANGE SOMEONE. I think it is VERY dangerous for anyone to get involved with someone thinking "i can help them or change them or what have you". Very not good sweets. Gosh, my dad has this great hobby in life....it's called marriage. He's on his 5th wife and I can honestly say 4 of the 5 have begun with this mentality. She's down or sick or whatever....he's the knight and shining armor to come rescue her. I will pull the age card here and say that you are FAR TOO YOUNG to be dealing with that mentality in a relationship. I just think....and feel free anyone to pipe in here if i'm wrong....but, I think there are women out there...perhaps even legal....who have it more together and could bring more to the table for you to "work with" so to speak.

If she is not happy without you....she's never going to be TRULY happy with you. It will be a facade. You may pacify her mental state when you're around....but when you're away...the depression will still be there. My suggestion.....while still in "friend mode" I would encourage her to talk to someone...even if it's her parents....to get past the depression or help controlling it. As her friend, she's going to be more receptive to you. Mommy's $.02. ;)

My dad is clincally diagnosed manic depressant....trust me, you do not want to wear that burden or pressure on your back. I still to this day am "responsible" for my father's existence. (so he says) But he's predominantly a negative in my life because that's the only thing he knows. He feeds off of my mental stability, my strength, focus, drive....all the things he lacks. But he doesn't change. Very few cases in the world does the postive person bring the negative out of their depressed state.......it's more often you see the negative/depressed person who sucks the life out of the positive and therefore bringing them down as well. You have to be a REALLY strong person mentally to maintain your strength in situations like that. If you haven't done it....i suggest doing some research on depression. So you can understand her better and also understand what your role should be for her. :rose:
Click to expand...


Hmmm. Interesting. I guess I'll just play it out and see where it goes...hope for the best. She's not completely depressed but is more so than some. Who knows, maybe its just a phase. There's no rush right now anyways to really take it far yet because there are not really any other obstacles that are stopping us from doing it at any time. We've known each other for about 10 months and have felt like this for a while (really close and could potentially be closer) but if need be, I can wait it out a little more and see if she straightens out her problems a little bit before getting more involved with her.
 
She should have self confidence / be comfortable with herself.

Everything else sort of flows from tha - affectionate, caring etc...a person cannot be all of these things if they are not happy with themselves. If she doesn't have this, nothing will ever really be "mutual", and despite my relationship history, I am not a therapist.
 
Last edited:
GoldenDelicious said:
to be themselves, and not to play games
Click to expand...

What if being themself IS playing games.

I know a certain someone that's good at doing that.
 
pitbullstl said:
My wife is my biggest fan, as I am hers. This goes along way.

She is my best friend first, wife second. God knows where I would be without her and my girls.




Honesty, brutal, candid, honesty.







and a great ass. :)
Click to expand...

Id have to agree with pitbull here..
also maybe it naiive of me but i feel it shouldnt have to be so hard to be with somone it should just be easy. trust and loyalty go a long way
 
As for me:

*he should know himself completely so i can figure him out.
*always be direct. Say what you mean and mean what you say without fail.
*possess the ability to reciprocate affection and affirmations of love.
*kick ass sense of humor...he needs to laugh at himself once in a while.
*respect-dont treat me any way he wouldn't want his dad treating his mom. (or a man treating his daughter)
*be aware of his own mistakes and the humility to make things right.
*love me...be with me for me. Dont judge, point fingers, or assume he's got me all figured out..until of course he's really invested the time to do so.

^^those are the more serious ones...

All in all...i wanna fall in love with my bestest friend! Have the fairy tale ending with a twist. Note to self: invest in some friends first. ;)
 
mature,honest,caring,trustworthy,good morals,funny,someone who doesnt need to be entertained,I can just sit there with them in silence and be content

that is basically what Im looking for in a women but its proving hard to find,especially with the limited time I have
 
love, affection, honestly, communication, horniness, accepting, nurturing, caring, emotionally stable, happy, forgivness, intelligence, goofiness, fun but mature.

in other words, the impossible.
 
To be on my side. If I know that, and I do, I can get through anything.

Lestat, nice first post... smile, smile back...
 
Ok heres my take on things
There has to be trust between us and communication.....because if theres not that there is nothing.
I like us to go do things, even if its nothing that costs money....because he knows what i like to do....and i know what he likes.
I know its girly but cuddling is so special to me....its even more special than sex. Sex satisfies you but cuddling shows how much the SO loves you. He/she is willing to sit there and spend time with you. I like to give him massages and stuff....and it doesnt mean im after sex, it means that i love him and only him. I like him to just tell me how good the dinner is that i cook. I like when he notices little things i do for him and i like him to do little things for me.....that shows a sign of selflessness.
 
There is one word you need to focus on. RECIPROCATION

If you trust them they must trust you.
If you console them they must console you.
If you say I love you they must say it back and both need to really mean it.

Reciprocation means one thing in relationships. It means it isn't one sided, that neither person has to work harder than the other, that neither person is neglecting the other.

Expectations are dangerous to go into a relationship with as they can cause it's premature demise. You have to feel out the other person and figure out if the two of you can make it work or not. That's what dating is all about figuring out the other person and whether or not it's worth investing time, energy, and effort into this person. Love/lust fade fairly quickly in the scheme of things and the love/friendship had better be the strongest part. Just because someone doesn't meet the criteria on a list doesn't mean that they aren't the right one, because some bonds take time to make.

Cheers,
Scotsman
 
SoKlueles said:
Ok heres my take on things
There has to be trust between us and communication.....because if theres not that there is nothing.
I like us to go do things, even if its nothing that costs money....because he knows what i like to do....and i know what he likes.
I know its girly but cuddling is so special to me....its even more special than sex. Sex satisfies you but cuddling shows how much the SO loves you. He/she is willing to sit there and spend time with you. I like to give him massages and stuff....and it doesnt mean im after sex, it means that i love him and only him. I like him to just tell me how good the dinner is that i cook. I like when he notices little things i do for him and i like him to do little things for me.....that shows a sign of selflessness.
Click to expand...
Great post soklu.

Hammy...get on the ball man. ;)
 
habitualhealth said:
Great post soklu.

Hammy...get on the ball man. ;)
Click to expand...
lol yeah whatever
but anyway......its hard for me sometimes to post how i feel about things....its like my mind and my hands work on different levels lol
 
Scotsman said:
There is one word you need to focus on. RECIPROCATION

If you trust them they must trust you.
If you console them they must console you.
If you say I love you they must say it back and both need to really mean it.

Reciprocation means one thing in relationships. It means it isn't one sided, that neither person has to work harder than the other, that neither person is neglecting the other.

Expectations are dangerous to go into a relationship with as they can cause it's premature demise. You have to feel out the other person and figure out if the two of you can make it work or not. That's what dating is all about figuring out the other person and whether or not it's worth investing time, energy, and effort into this person. Love/lust fade fairly quickly in the scheme of things and the love/friendship had better be the strongest part. Just because someone doesn't meet the criteria on a list doesn't mean that they aren't the right one, because some bonds take time to make.

Cheers,
Scotsman
Click to expand...
Great post scots...question for you...when you realize it's not reciprocated and you actually confide in them and beg for that....at what point do you just walk away? Let's say they tell you over and over again that they love you? That they are going to try...that they will change...that they want to be with you? Do you continue to give and hope they reciprocate (as they've verbally convinced) or do you walk?
 
habitualhealth said:
Great post scots...question for you...when you realize it's not reciprocated and you actually confide in them and beg for that....at what point do you just walk away? Let's say they tell you over and over again that they love you? That they are going to try...that they will change...that they want to be with you? Do you continue to give and hope they reciprocate (as they've verbally convinced) or do you walk?
Click to expand...


Telling you they love you means nothing really, it's a convenient way of not having to show you they love you. If you have to beg then you are doomed already, if you mention something to someone one time and they don't respond it obviously isn't important to them. People don't change really, and someone trying to change for you will eventually make them resentful that you don't love them how they are. If someone keeps giving you the song and dance routine then walk, there are plenty of people out there who would be willing to, all you have to do is find them.

Cheers,
Scotsman
 
trying not to sound like a godfather quote here but i don't expect anyone to be honest all the time, i do demand integrity...i need to know that regardless of what transpires, that they will still be on my side
 
I expect her to love me for the rest of my life.




everything else falls in to place
 
JayC9 said:
trying not to sound like a godfather quote here but i don't expect anyone to be honest all the time, i do demand integrity...i need to know that regardless of what transpires, that they will still be on my side
Click to expand...

thats a good one. i want them to be my best friend- to come to me when the chips are down and be there for me too, we should be able to confide in eachother, nomatter what.
 
Just good old fashioned love and not much else. Things such as honesty, respect, communication etc should all be a by-product of true love if love is really there in the first place.
 
habitualhealth said:
Great post scots...question for you...when you realize it's not reciprocated and you actually confide in them and beg for that....at what point do you just walk away? Let's say they tell you over and over again that they love you? That they are going to try...that they will change...that they want to be with you? Do you continue to give and hope they reciprocate (as they've verbally convinced) or do you walk?
Click to expand...

That's when you go back then get burned again.

It never works the second time around.

Enjoy.
 
habitualhealth said:
for your significant other/spouse/someone you date? (sex is a given, so humor me with something else) ;)

(invested interest on this one so be furreal) :supercool
Click to expand...
Desire for a better life and takes responsibility for their actions. Has a plan for tomorrow and their future. Does act like a wall flower. Loves adventure and sky diving.

Dated too many of those damsel's in distress when I was younger.

Doesn't call themself Shadow.
 
jackangel said:
someone who gets me, understands the possible nuance behind what i say,
often sees what i see, and knows how i often think and feel, without necessarily
having to discuss it.

someone who sees greatness in me, even though i may not see it myself

someone that awes me, and is awed by me. or, someone to whom i am
at least a partial mystery, and vice versa.

someone who makes me want to be a better person*

someone with whom conversation becomes more than just a way to pass the time.

someone who is full of contradictions, as i am myself.











*yes, the line is stolen from As Good As It Gets
Click to expand...
:(
Eringobraugh said:
If you want the rainbow you have to put up with the rain.
Click to expand...
thanks for injecting some reality into this thread

HH seems like you're about to dump a dude are ya?
 
-Proper grammar.
-A vested interest in being healthy.
-Enjoys sports.
-Capable of disagreeing without arguing. Example: have her own opinion, and the ability to support/debate it.
 
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Using Fenugreek to my advantage
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