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habitualhealth said:OK! Retracting previous statement!
Please read this carefully....YOU CANNOT CHANGE SOMEONE. I think it is VERY dangerous for anyone to get involved with someone thinking "i can help them or change them or what have you". Very not good sweets. Gosh, my dad has this great hobby in life....it's called marriage. He's on his 5th wife and I can honestly say 4 of the 5 have begun with this mentality. She's down or sick or whatever....he's the knight and shining armor to come rescue her. I will pull the age card here and say that you are FAR TOO YOUNG to be dealing with that mentality in a relationship. I just think....and feel free anyone to pipe in here if i'm wrong....but, I think there are women out there...perhaps even legal....who have it more together and could bring more to the table for you to "work with" so to speak.
If she is not happy without you....she's never going to be TRULY happy with you. It will be a facade. You may pacify her mental state when you're around....but when you're away...the depression will still be there. My suggestion.....while still in "friend mode" I would encourage her to talk to someone...even if it's her parents....to get past the depression or help controlling it. As her friend, she's going to be more receptive to you. Mommy's $.02.
My dad is clincally diagnosed manic depressant....trust me, you do not want to wear that burden or pressure on your back. I still to this day am "responsible" for my father's existence. (so he says) But he's predominantly a negative in my life because that's the only thing he knows. He feeds off of my mental stability, my strength, focus, drive....all the things he lacks. But he doesn't change. Very few cases in the world does the postive person bring the negative out of their depressed state.......it's more often you see the negative/depressed person who sucks the life out of the positive and therefore bringing them down as well. You have to be a REALLY strong person mentally to maintain your strength in situations like that. If you haven't done it....i suggest doing some research on depression. So you can understand her better and also understand what your role should be for her.
Hmmm. Interesting. I guess I'll just play it out and see where it goes...hope for the best. She's not completely depressed but is more so than some. Who knows, maybe its just a phase. There's no rush right now anyways to really take it far yet because there are not really any other obstacles that are stopping us from doing it at any time. We've known each other for about 10 months and have felt like this for a while (really close and could potentially be closer) but if need be, I can wait it out a little more and see if she straightens out her problems a little bit before getting more involved with her.
