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Was i wrong

theoak01

theoak01

New member
I was talking to the mrs tonight,got a bit dirty,got on the topic of blow jobs and forplay, she said she dont like that and doesnt want to do it ever.

this is an issue for me so I called her on it,she got all pissy and defensive,but I said it keeps things interesting and exciting.

i forget what she said,and i think here is where I kinda fucked up.

I said " well just having sex feels like something i could get from a hooker i like to have the intimacy of forplay etc"

she got pissed and said"i dont want to talk about it"

was i wrong?

ladies? help
 
I can not imagine not giving my lovey a blow job. I find that to be about as intimate as possible.
And hell forplay is well needed.
Always pre heat the oven first! lol
 
thats my thinking of it,makes it intimate not just some wham bam thank you mam, i mean fuck most girls would kill to have this kinda treatment,yet she dont want it at all
 
Not wrong, just stupid. lol. you gotta be careful with what you say when talking about such a "sensitive" topic for people - especially when it's to your GF!!

And WTF @ her not giving head? damn, that sucks....

And more of my awesome 2 cents - don't bother trying to talk her into it. especially using logic. try to use her emotions to your advantage. a lot of women say they won't do something sexually, but when you get them at the right time and place in the bedroom, they will do ANYTHING, especially if they feel comfortable and trust you
 
i like your sneaky ways, and yes i probably was stupid but im frustrated over it and tired of boring sex,not like im getting it now cuz im away anyways but still,bad sex makes me want to get better sex, and i dont want to cheat
 
women with sexual issues that are normal -in most relationships- should be a cautionary sign that something is amiss. its either "you" or they dont like or care for sexual experieinces other than missionary intercourse.
if they are seeing someone else, the acts of intimacy with their SO often go awry...
 
Dude, she doesn't like foreplay? Does she just strip down, oil up, and let you mount her when you do it? Thank god, you're not going to marry her. Might as well call it quits right now and find someone on the east coast.
 
she just wants a bit of fingering and once shes wet wants me to hop on, its a new relationship so there really arent any problems but this,and she wants it many times a day so sex drive or wanting to fuck me isnt the issue,its just doing anything fun and kinky is a no go
 
a women that doesn't enjoy foreplay...

there's something terribly wrong with that...

Giving or Receiving?
Both?
 
theoak01 said:
she just wants a bit of fingering and once shes wet wants me to hop on, its a new relationship so there really arent any problems but this,and she wants it many times a day so sex drive or wanting to fuck me isnt the issue,its just doing anything fun and kinky is a no go
Click to expand...
lmao...that's too funny...I just got this picture in my mind of what it must be like...

Got a pic?
 
PICK3 said:
Odd how some dudes & chicks don't like getting/giving oral.
Click to expand...


For some people, foreplay (oral, fingering, etc.) is more personal and intimate than intercourse, and it's that level of intimacy that scares them and makes them uncomfortable.


I had a gf back in college that was like this. Fucking she was comfortable with, anything else and she became terrified. Oral just made her feel too self conscious, when my face was down there she had this horrible feeling that I was "examing" her. She had a host of issues that I found out later...


Oak, good luck bor. :D
 
PBR said:
women with sexual issues that are normal -in most relationships- should be a cautionary sign that something is amiss. its either "you" or they dont like or care for sexual experieinces other than missionary intercourse.
if they are seeing someone else, the acts of intimacy with their SO often go awry...
Click to expand...
ding ding ding ding..............
 
does she like u fingering her or giving her oral?

dont pretend that ur doing it for her.

be like "i want u to pelase me this way"

Its something u do for me.

i wont finger u or eat u out, unless u do this for me.

or make it a game...put it in ur mouth or i wont put it in ur vag
 
she lets me do it to her,but then i tried to use that as ammunition and shes all like,well I didnt tell you to do it.

bah its frustrating
 
theoak01 said:
I was talking to the mrs tonight,got a bit dirty,got on the topic of blow jobs and forplay, she said she dont like that and doesnt want to do it ever.

this is an issue for me so I called her on it,she got all pissy and defensive,but I said it keeps things interesting and exciting.

i forget what she said,and i think here is where I kinda fucked up.

I said " well just having sex feels like something i could get from a hooker i like to have the intimacy of forplay etc"

she got pissed and said"i dont want to talk about it"

was i wrong?

ladies? help
Click to expand...

Be careful. For all you know her dad made her blow him all the time when she was a kid. Crazy shit has happened to people.
 
theoak01 said:
she lets me do it to her,but then i tried to use that as ammunition and shes all like,well I didnt tell you to do it.

bah its frustrating
Click to expand...
HUUUUGE red flag.

Danger Will Robinson, Danger! Danger! (I wonder how many will get that reference).

Seriously dude, if she's got "issues" fresh into a relationship, just wait till you hit the one or two year mark. And for God's sake, wait till marriage. That's when she sits you down and explains all the things you guys used to do that she never really liked...
 
slat1 said:
Be careful. For all you know her dad made her blow him all the time when she was a kid. Crazy shit has happened to people.
Click to expand...


ya i tried to be sensitive but she blew it off so i took a more aggressive approach,we will see where it gets me
 
Back in the day the only man I gave head to was my exhusband and he got it PLENTY - but odd thing, I wouldnt do it until we were engaged. Matter of fact, this was how I would initiate sex. I have a strong drive and what man is going to say NO to sex when you are sucking his cock?! hehehee

I was raised with the notion that giving a man head was very dirty and totally disrespectfull to the woman.


I got over that REAL quick after being introduced to a man who can lick kitty properly. LOL

To this day - there is NO WAY I will give head to a man that I dont genuinely care for. It is very very intimate - more intimate than intercourse.
 
needtogetas said:
ding ding ding ding..............
Click to expand...


I'll get it













wait wtf... bastard.
 
tHAT DOES SOUND A LITTLE STRANGE, oak, considering her age. My daughter said when she was in high school, some of her friends would think nothing of giving head. They didn't really consider it sex. :rolleyes:
All I can say is try to make it fun for her. I've honestly never met a woman who didn't give head & swallow.
 
OK. . .so I'm a guy. . .but let me give you some advice. . .you ABSOLUTELY need to find these type of things out before you make some kind of commitment. If you're truly committed to someone and them to you, NO TOPIC OF DISCUSSION SHOULD BE OFF LIMITS. Just because you discuss something doesn't me you actually want or need to do it. . .you should be able to talk about anything or it ain't gonna work anyway. . .better to know now than 10 years from now.

Contrary to what most of society would tell you, I personally think that oral sex is much more intimate than straight-up sex. Don't get me wrong, I love them both but, I couldn't imagine living without either.
 
KillahBee said:
Not wrong, just stupid. lol. you gotta be careful with what you say when talking about such a "sensitive" topic for people - especially when it's to your GF!!

And WTF @ her not giving head? damn, that sucks....

And more of my awesome 2 cents - don't bother trying to talk her into it. especially using logic. try to use her emotions to your advantage. a lot of women say they won't do something sexually, but when you get them at the right time and place in the bedroom, they will do ANYTHING, especially if they feel comfortable and trust you
Click to expand...
im backing killah up 100%

not only is his advice dead on, but its also the only test you can do to see if there are underlying issues - if she trusts you 100% and otherwise enjoys sex 100% but STILL doesnt like to do it, you can start drawing more meaningful conclusions as to why that is. as it stands, her rationale for not liking it could be anything from personal preference to resentment to trust issues to child abuse

make it fun, then see what comes out in the wash. using rationale and guilt to get her to do it will suck the fun out of your sex life like a jewish girl giving...um...fast. itll suck the fun out FAST ;)
 
KillahBee said:
And more of my awesome 2 cents - don't bother trying to talk her into it. especially using logic. try to use her emotions to your advantage. a lot of women say they won't do something sexually, but when you get them at the right time and place in the bedroom, they will do ANYTHING, especially if they feel comfortable and trust you
Click to expand...


KB knows his stuff. If you really want to stay with this girl then you've got to break down these barriers that she's put up...show her that sex isn't something to be disgusted by. You have to find a way to make her really want to do those things.

Oak, you're way too nice. I'm not saying you shouldn't be a nice guy but some of the things that you've posted over the years tell me that a woman could easily mainpulate you if she wanted.
 
HiDnGoD said:
tHAT DOES SOUND A LITTLE STRANGE, oak, considering her age. My daughter said when she was in high school, some of her friends would think nothing of giving head. They didn't really consider it sex. :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

You talk to your daughter about her friends giving head??
 
jd_uk said:
KB knows his stuff. If you really want to stay with this girl then you've got to break down these barriers that she's put up...show her that sex isn't something to be disgusted by. You have to find a way to make her really want to do those things.

Oak, you're way too nice. I'm not saying you shouldn't be a nice guy but some of the things that you've posted over the years tell me that a woman could easily mainpulate you if she wanted.
Click to expand...


your right dude a woman could pretty much chew me up and spit me out if she wanted,it sucks but im working on that.

now its just working on communication with certain topics with the gf,she has a way of changing the topic when i bring this type of stuff up,so she definately has some barriers put up sexually. however she has opened up alot since we started having the sexuals,now i can give her oral some of the time but she is more impatient and just wants to fuck.

i hope we can open up about this because its definately a big deal
 
jd_uk said:
You talk to your daughter about her friends giving head??
Click to expand...
For many years my wife & I were her only friends. As she grew out of her shell, she talked to us about many things.
It's not unhealthy. I spoke with my parents the same way.
 
sounds like there are a few underlying issues here that need to be addressed.

I know for me personally I would have difficulty staying with a girl whom refused to give oral - I lived with 1 who refused that for 3 years...never again.

good luck, regardless
 
id tread it slowly seriously. She may have some huge issues with it, like getting molested as a child and such, because it happens alot more than people think it does
Seriously, is oral sex the only thing that is wrong with ur relationship?
if it is, id just work myself past it, and deal with it. If you love her, giving up oral sex is just a small thing to give up right?
I have a friend(no acutally its not me) that has been married for 15 years, and her husband has never done oral sex on her, and it was because he thinks its dirty(not her, the act) but yet he lets her blow him
and im like wtf? Misti? he thinks giving oral is nasty but hell take a blow job from you??
she didnt even know anything about oral sex on the woman until she read it in a book after they split up a couple of years ago
yes she led a sheltered life
 
velvett said:
a women that doesn't enjoy foreplay...

there's something terribly wrong with that...

Giving or Receiving?
Both?
Click to expand...

agreed, double check dude, "she" might be a tranny in disguise. Wimin are genetically programmed to enjoy/demand foreplay so I smell something fishy
 
Well act like her. Dont touch her at all any more. And after sex just roll over and go to sleep. NO foreplay NO nothing. See how she likes it.Guarantee that she wont like it to much!
 
Angel said:
Well act like her. Dont touch her at all any more. And after sex just roll over and go to sleep. NO foreplay NO nothing. See how she likes it.Guarantee that she wont like it to much!
Click to expand...

This is very sound advice















































if you're 15 years old































and retarded




































;) I love you Angel




































fuggin tard
 
KillahBee said:
This is very sound advice















































if you're 15 years old































and retarded




































;) I love you Angel




































fuggin tard
Click to expand...
OMFG....I think this is one of the nicest posts that you have ever typed to me. i must frame that bitch.
Any how, Do you suggest that he continue on kissing her ass, finger fuckin her, and lapping her pussy and being lucky if he so much has her look at him?
IMHO he should tell her to take a damn hike and find a new broad.
A woman that cannot service a man is a fool hearted woman who doesnt deserve her man! That is the way I see it. i Fully would expect needto to give me the boot if I were like that with him (well except for the part that there is a difference we are married). Sounds to me NO offense who ever made this thread but it seems like she is not sexually attracted to him. Unless she was just never taught how to please man kind. YET, even if that were the case then why is she unwilling to do it? But hey KB this is all MY opinion. You dickslurper.lol
 
Angel said:
OMFG....I think this is one of the nicest posts that you have ever typed to me. i must frame that bitch.
Any how, Do you suggest that he continue on kissing her ass, finger fuckin her, and lapping her pussy and being lucky if he so much has her look at him?
IMHO he should tell her to take a damn hike and find a new broad.
A woman that cannot service a man is a fool hearted woman who doesnt deserve her man! That is the way I see it. i Fully would expect needto to give me the boot if I were like that with him (well except for the part that there is a difference we are married). Sounds to me NO offense who ever made this thread but it seems like she is not sexually attracted to him. Unless she was just never taught how to please man kind. YET, even if that were the case then why is she unwilling to do it? But hey KB this is all MY opinion. You dickslurper.lol
Click to expand...


lmfao
 
angel id think that she wasnt sexually attracted to me either if this was anyone else,but i get sex 3-4 times a day when im there so i doubt thats it.

this definately could be some underlying issue i gotta tread lightly around and see if she opens up.last time we talked she said she would think about it,now im gonna see if she takes it serious or not. if not well im likely gonna split, i need a healthy sex life no limits or boundaries
 
pintoca said:
dickslurper? now that is worth a lol or two, wouldn't you see KorleoneBee?
Click to expand...
was a spur of the moment word I guess..LOL it was some what humerous I admit.


And Oak, maybe she was forced as a child. Molestation into pleasing men. Just a thought to ponder on. Typically rape victims and molestation victims either love or hate sexual acts, with a passion.
 
Giving head in the shower is the bestest ;)
 
theoak01 said:
angel id think that she wasnt sexually attracted to me either if this was anyone else,but i get sex 3-4 times a day when im there so i doubt thats it.

this definately could be some underlying issue i gotta tread lightly around and see if she opens up.last time we talked she said she would think about it,now im gonna see if she takes it serious or not. if not well im likely gonna split, i need a healthy sex life no limits or boundaries
Click to expand...


honestly ... you will split because of a sexual issue? Even though you love her?

I posted about this a while back and was pounded on non stop, I now realize that a realtionship should be based on more than sexual pleasure.

How fresh is this relationship? Maybe she's just not comfortable right now... don't jump the gun and split when in time things may work its way out. Don't get me wrong, I understand the importance of the romance that comes along with foreplay... but its not like she isn't giving you some nanny... right? Give her time, open communication, find out the backing of her not wanting to do said acts and go from there. Whatever you do DON'T pressure her into doing anything... support her and find out the underlying reasons.

good luck sugar
 
All the chicks on EF are pornstars but also very respectable women.


And all the dudes have six packs and can deadlift a Hummer.
 
Frisky said:
honestly ... you will split because of a sexual issue? Even though you love her?

I posted about this a while back and was pounded on non stop, I now realize that a realtionship should be based on more than sexual pleasure.

How fresh is this relationship? Maybe she's just not comfortable right now... don't jump the gun and split when in time things may work its way out. Don't get me wrong, I understand the importance of the romance that comes along with foreplay... but its not like she isn't giving you some nanny... right? Give her time, open communication, find out the backing of her not wanting to do said acts and go from there. Whatever you do DON'T pressure her into doing anything... support her and find out the underlying reasons.

good luck sugar
Click to expand...

we are still pretty new to this relationship so i probably am jumping the gun,i definately want to give it a shot and hope it works. thanks for giving me some common sense frisk
 
theoak01 said:
we are still pretty new to this relationship so i probably am jumping the gun,i definately want to give it a shot and hope it works. thanks for giving me some common sense frisk
Click to expand...


check your K hun :heart:
 
KillahBee said:
a lot of women say they won't do something sexually, but when you get them at the right time and place in the bedroom, they will do ANYTHING,
Click to expand...
KB is right, you should get her really wasted.

also, you need to be a bit more of an asshole without being simultaneously being a tool.
 
Dump her ASAP.lol

Honestly,if she's like this now,wait till you marry her.You will be in for a LONG road of absolute frustration my friend.I feel for you.Been there...
 
bran987 said:
KB is right, you should get her really wasted.

also, you need to be a bit more of an asshole without being simultaneously being a tool.
Click to expand...

dude........

I was thinking more along the lines of ecstacy

drinking is just classless
 
How about telling a girl you don't really like yanking on her hair and calling her a bitch and a slut while fucking her?

I'd respect her wishes I guess. Well, my style with shit like this, personally, is to anticipate little to no changing will occur if that's what she says will happen. Then I would evaluate whether or not I can live with it. Nobody is going to be exactly how you want them after all. Beating my head against a wall trying to force things is fucking frustrating.

I think trying to convince her to do things she's said she doesn't want to do isn't going to make either of you happy. She's not into it. You can find someone else who is or get over it and accept that if you do get head, it probably isn't going to be very often.

Trying to get her wild about giving you head is probably not going to happen. It might, I dunno, but in my experience people don't tend to make complete 180s in their opinions all that often.
 
KillahBee said:
dude........

I was thinking more along the lines of ecstacy

drinking is just classless
Click to expand...
ok, have her do those happy pills oaky.

btw he really needs to dump her if she is causing him this much grief already, everything should be happy happy joy joy right now
 
Nathan said:
Trying to get her wild about giving you head is probably not going to happen. It might, I dunno, but in my experience people don't tend to make complete 180s in their opinions all that often.
Click to expand...
While I definitely agree with this for the most part, we're talking about people having opinions directly linked to HIGHLY emotional states of being. I think we've ALL been with women who say one thing and do another in the bedroom. Women think with their hearts, not their heads (this is not an insult, so relax Butch Dyke Man Haters). I've had near-virgin girls who have been too self-conscious to let themselves have orgasms turn into complete fun pornstars with some persistent work on my end.

Get em heated, then take em down.
 
bran987 said:
ok, have her do those happy pills oaky.

btw he really needs to dump her if she is causing him this much grief already, everything should be happy happy joy joy right now
Click to expand...


AGREED. But this is oak, he's a former SWV who is uber sensitive and probably does not have the self esteem he should have.
 
KillahBee said:
While I definitely agree with this for the most part, we're talking about people having opinions directly linked to HIGHLY emotional states of being. I think we've ALL been with women who say one thing and do another in the bedroom. Women think with their hearts, not their heads (this is not an insult, so relax Butch Dyke Man Haters). I've had near-virgin girls who have been too self-conscious to let themselves have orgasms turn into complete fun pornstars with some persistent work on my end.

Get em heated, then take em down.
Click to expand...

If it's an inexperience thing then that's a bit different. If it's stubborn "I've tried it and don't like it" sort of stuff then good luck. I'd save it for special occasions in that case.

Ask her if you can blow your load on her tits. In my experience, girls who don't want to give head really like it when you make a mess on other parts of them.
 
HiDnGoD said:
For many years my wife & I were her only friends. As she grew out of her shell, she talked to us about many things.
It's not unhealthy. I spoke with my parents the same way.
Click to expand...

Nah I agree, that's a good thing, just surprising. Some kids don't talk to their parents at all if they can help it.
 
velvett said:
a women that doesn't enjoy foreplay...

there's something terribly wrong with that...

Giving or Receiving?
Both?
Click to expand...

I disagree. I think younger women have less of a like for oral. As women get older like into their "dirty thirties", they enjoy it way more only b/c they feel more confortable with sex and their bodies.
I hated giving blow jobs in my early 20's. I thought it was totally disgusting....thank goodness I am now cured from that, but I was also not very comfortable with my sexuality.
Also my ex was always stinky and dirty down there so ewwwwwww to going down.
Guys if your ladies are very sexual and do not want to give u oral sex, then maybe check to see if you don't have any "schmigglies" down there!

;-)
 
Nathan said:
I think trying to convince her to do things she's said she doesn't want to do isn't going to make either of you happy. She's not into it. You can find someone else who is or get over it and accept that if you do get head, it probably isn't going to be very often.

Trying to get her wild about giving you head is probably not going to happen. It might, I dunno, but in my experience people don't tend to make complete 180s in their opinions all that often.
Click to expand...


Agreed. Talk to her about it calmly and rationally and attempt to find out why she is like this. If she won't talk or change, then either accept her like she is or move on without her. Sometimes people fall in love with fantasies and false perceptions, they project who they would like to be with onto who they are with. Don't fall into this trap.
 
she hasnt done it before so inexperience could be an issue,I got her to give me a hand job once,it wasnt bad,it wasnt good,but i let her think it was the best id had,good for confidence ya know. I think its gonna take some time is all,ill be persistant
 
theoak01 said:
she hasnt done it before so inexperience could be an issue,I got her to give me a hand job once,it wasnt bad,it wasnt good,but i let her think it was the best id had,good for confidence ya know. I think its gonna take some time is all,ill be persistant
Click to expand...

Sounds like it's not a lost cause then. Do you shave? Make yourself look appealing in any way? A mouthful of pubes is not going to want to make her do it again and again.


Maybe lather some peanut butter on there. Or even dust some cocaine on your rod and let her snort and then lick it off. She's into coke right?
 
dullboy says that you need to do playful things with her to disarm her insecurities.

slap your dick off her face a few times. that usually strightens 'em out.
 
dullboy says maybe her last boyfriend was an unwashed skanky motherfucker with a smelly ass and a sweaty ballsack. lol


sorry oak -lol - dullboy bets she was a virgin when you met her.
 
Forge said:
For some people, foreplay (oral, fingering, etc.) is more personal and intimate than intercourse, and it's that level of intimacy that scares them and makes them uncomfortable.


I had a gf back in college that was like this. Fucking she was comfortable with, anything else and she became terrified. Oral just made her feel too self conscious, when my face was down there she had this horrible feeling that I was "examing" her. She had a host of issues that I found out later...


Oak, good luck bor. :D
Click to expand...
good point and she might not feel like she's good at giving head and she's afraid of being bad at that so better not to do it at all. also, talking to her about it when she's not in the mood and when she feels like youre criticizing her bedroom skills which to a woman, pretty much makes them feel hurt and rejected and even more self conscious. you do need to address the issues with her for your own sanity and satisfaction in the relatinoship, but unfortunately it's a delicate matter. you cant just be all like DUDE I WISH YOU WOULD SUCK MY DICK MORE OFTEN AND GET MORE INTO FOREPLAY AND 69 OR SOMETHING WE NEED TO SPICE IT UP. lol.
 
This just may be a delicate issue for her also. That doesnt make her a delicate individual. I think we can all say we have our issues. This is just (one of?) hers. A little bit of positive reinforment goes a long way in a situation like this. Maybe when she does suck on it, you can like high five her and add ina few fist bumps for extra measure. Ok that was a joke, but certainly tell her how good she is at it and how much you love when she sucks your cock, and then even after the romp is over, you can bring it up again, like grab her with a big ol hug, squeeze her and tell her how great she is at sucking the cock. and smooch her cheek and tell her you love her. something like that. I mean, when my husband tells me of something I do that he loves and that Im great at, that makes me want to do it that much more, just to please him. I great joy in that. Strokes the ego too.
 
digimon7068 said:
Sounds like you speak from experience???

Sorry man, you left the door open on that one. :)
Click to expand...

Nah, I keep trimmed dude. I've been told to stay that way when I start getting lazy if I want to keep getting head though. Hence the advice.

And I was joking about the coke stuff.
 
Nathan said:
Nah, I keep trimmed dude. I've been told to stay that way when I start getting lazy if I want to keep getting head though. Hence the advice.

And I was joking about the coke stuff.
Click to expand...


coke is disgusting....but shaving and keeping clean (for both a women) is a MUST!
 
im such an asshole.

i dropped this wasnt gonna say anymore gonna give it a chance like you guys suggested.

now she goes and tells me how shes working out etc to be prettier for me,dont that make a guy feel like a fucking stooge,im bitching about this petty shit when she really does want to please me
 
Isn't this a new gf? IMO I would move on, it doesn't get any better than the beginning of a relationship, its not like there is some hidden wild woman underneath.

Like they said in Amityville...

GET OUT!!!
 
theoak01 said:
im such an asshole.

i dropped this wasnt gonna say anymore gonna give it a chance like you guys suggested.

now she goes and tells me how shes working out etc to be prettier for me,dont that make a guy feel like a fucking stooge,im bitching about this petty shit when she really does want to please me
Click to expand...
it's perfectly normal and ok for you to be concerned that she doesnt want to or like to perform oral sex or participate in foreplay. those are normal sexual activities shared between two people in an intimate relationship. like I said, it sounds like this might just be a delicate issue for her and if she is interested in pleasing you, there may be way to work this issue out.
 
theoak01 said:
im such an asshole.

i dropped this wasnt gonna say anymore gonna give it a chance like you guys suggested.

now she goes and tells me how shes working out etc to be prettier for me,dont that make a guy feel like a fucking stooge,im bitching about this petty shit when she really does want to please me
Click to expand...
Don't worry about it. Women learn in grade 3 how to make a guy feel like a tool.
Just be sincerely appreciative about her efforts, without going overboard. Maybe she's testing you to see what kind of encouragement you give.
 
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