eh.. tough situation
I'd keep my emotions in check with dealing with her. She is Mom after all. She does care, just has her head up her ass like you said.
Act aloof towards her, getting kinda nasty with her only shows her you still care about her (In her mind/ not yours) even though your only care is your child.
Tough situation as I said... but you have to be the bigger, more mature person to win at these games. Make the choice easy for your daughter by keep showing her the love that you have done so far, then everything will fall into place.