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Thoughts on relationship(help)

  • Thread starter Thread starter Megalomaniac
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Megalomaniac

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Recently I have found myself in a relationship and most parts of it are great. Previously I have been hooking up with hot younger ladies for sex though, which was great. I want both, the qualities the wiser, more mature lady offers but the hot sex from the younger hammers. Any advice on how to handle this?
 
jnevin said:
Polygamy.
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Costs too much until the kids start paying off. You ever see how young polygamist live, in the poor house.
 
I don't know what you mean by older, but low 30's is much better sexuals than 20's from my experience.
 
jnevin said:
I don't know what you mean by older, but low 30's is much better sexuals than 20's from my experience.
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Well I haven't been with a girl in her 30's that can compare to a hot 22 year old body. I'm sure they are out there but just not in my league I guess.
 
drsketch said:
dump her.
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Life long friend and great companion, she just wants more. I probably will in 20 years but right now I'd rather have the great sex life.

My question is there a way for me to have it all. Convince her our relationship is great and I love everything about it but yet still hook up with the other girls. Do this without damage, I could alway lie and cheat but I don't believe in that.
 
jnevin said:
I don't know what you mean by older, but low 30's is much better sexuals than 20's from my experience.
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+100 definitely. I don't get it?

Anyway, tell her how you feel bro. Tell her you LOVE SEX and would expect it. wtf can go wrong? That will decide for you. She's a life long friend, she must know a little about you. good luck
 
Megalomaniac said:
My question is there a way for me to have it all. Convince her our relationship is great and I love everything about it but yet still hook up with the other girls. Do this without damage, I could alway lie and cheat but I don't believe in that.
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Ummmmmmmmmm NO!

that is called "wanting your cake and eating it too" (Smurf in 3, 2, 1)
Life doesn't work this way

That is like saying, I want to work cause my job gives me good money, but I want to play golf all day also
 
Yeah keep her around the house, and do the chics on the side. Never let your side chics know where you live and probably even call them on a track phone.
 
make a choice. sounds like you aren't ready to settle

can't have it both ways unless you want to be a complete scumbag and that'll catch up with you in the end
 
With those two standard answers out of the way, I wonder how you'd feel if she wanted a relationship but wanted to screw a few bigger-dick guys on the side...
 
what's the age difference?? just wondering

Be honest with her, she might be open minded and have an open relationship. Or..maybe she feels the same way about you
 
blueta2 said:
Ummmmmmmmmm NO!

that is called "wanting your cake and eating it too" (Smurf in 3, 2, 1)
Life doesn't work this way

That is like saying, I want to work cause my job gives me good money, but I want to play golf all day also
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Well that is exactly how I feel, I love golf but work sucks. Why can't life work that way for me? Are you telling me young girls don't get to have a cake and also eat one? IMHO that is what I have always seen, young girls(not all) throwing a wink and getting what they want but not earning it. I'm not saying this is for everyone but I would love to have a great companion but sexual relations with a bunch of younger girls.


my age33, her age 33, younger girls age 20-23.
 
princesa said:
what's the age difference?? just wondering

Be honest with her, she might be open minded and have an open relationship. Or..maybe she feels the same way about you
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She might feel that way but she expresses that she loves our sex and wants more relationship. Right now we are distant so that helps but I'm just not one who has ever enjoyed waking up with someone every morning. I enjoy it some mornings but also enjoy waking up alone some mornings.

I've stayed out of relationships for the last 8 years but this long time friend wanted to go for it so I did. Now I just want it how it was, I think I took it to far.
 
Megalomaniac said:
Well that is exactly how I feel, I love golf but work sucks. Why can't life work that way for me? Are you telling me young girls don't get to have a cake and also eat one? IMHO that is what I have always seen, young girls(not all) throwing a wink and getting what they want but not earning it. I'm not saying this is for everyone but I would love to have a great companion but sexual relations with a bunch of younger girls.


my age33, her age 33, younger girls age 20-23.
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Talk to the Grump, he lived this life for like 20 something years.

I am still trying to figure why he traded "all that" for me. :whatever:

Honestly? If that is REALLY how you want to live your life then just lay your cards on the table from the get go. If the women are down for that, then I say, "Why not?"

... sorta like I told my old grump from the first conversation, "Sorry I don't share. If you want to be with me then you will have to accept that I don't care how long you have lived your life *that* way. That just won't work for me." ... realizing full well that if he was not down with what worked for me then the relationship would not progress.

I let him decide for himself. There was no deception on either of our parts and is working out just fine for both of us.
 
BIKINIMOM said:
Talk to the Grump, he lived this life for like 20 something years.

I am still trying to figure why he traded "all that" for me. :whatever:

Honestly? If that is REALLY how you want to live your life then just lay your cards on the table from the get go. If the women are down for that, then I say, "Why not?"

... sorta like I told my old grump from the first conversation, "Sorry I don't share. If you want to be with me then you will have to accept that I don't care how long you have lived your life *that* way. That just won't work for me." ... realizing full well that if he was not down with what worked for me then the relationship would not progress.

I let him decide for himself. There was no deception on either of our parts and is working out just fine for both of us.
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Well what did "be with you" mean? I'm not looking to be with her, just be her companion. She is really smart, witty, beautiful ect. I just don't want to be responsible for both of us. For instance I live my job with the thought that if I don't like the way something goes I can say fuck it. The consequences will only be on me. However with her I would have to consider her and loose my advantage there. Much of my life has been shaped around this philosophy and adding someone in the mix forces me to adapt so much of my life.
 
Megalomaniac said:
Well what did "be with you" mean? I'm not looking to be with her, just be her companion. She is really smart, witty, beautiful ect. I just don't want to be responsible for both of us. For instance I live my job with the thought that if I don't like the way something goes I can say fuck it. The consequences will only be on me. However with her I would have to consider her and loose my advantage there. Much of my life has been shaped around this philosophy and adding someone in the mix forces me to adapt so much of my life.
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He decided that he would drop his previous requirement of swinging because I told him pointblank, "Been there/done that just don't do it for me anymore so if that is a requirement FOR YOU in order to be WITH ME, then we need not be together."

So since you really don't want to be with this girl longterm then you really aren't risking much by being straight up with her. You owe that much to yourself as well. Why lie? Be straight up about what you want and need. That is only fair to her as well. If she stays then you both win. If she decides that this is not for her then you still BOTH WIN because then you are both free to move onto finding a situation that makes you both happy, it just won't be with one another. :)

Honesty, in these situations is ALWAYS the best policy.
 
BIKINIMOM said:
He decided that he would drop his previous requirement of swinging because I told him pointblank, "Been there/done that just don't do it for me anymore so if that is a requirement FOR YOU in order to be WITH ME, then we need not be together."

So since you really don't want to be with this girl longterm then you really aren't risking much by being straight up with her. You owe that much to yourself as well. Why lie? Be straight up about what you want and need. That is only fair to her as well. If she stays then you both win. If she decides that this is not for her then you still BOTH WIN because then you are both free to move onto finding a situation that makes you both happy, it just won't be with one another. :)

Honesty, in these situations is ALWAYS the best policy.
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I'm misrepresenting myself here I think. Actually I would like to be with her long term, just not now. I mean if she wants to hang out now that is great but I have so many other goals I am trying to achieve that I don't want the weight of a full relationship. That is why I was talking about leaving the sex out, to keep it simple. Sex usually translates to love and I'm not looking for that now, I want friendship, companionship, support both ways, and advice(not responsibility and reliability).
 
Megalomaniac said:
I'm misrepresenting myself here I think. Actually I would like to be with her long term, just not now. I mean if she wants to hang out now that is great but I have so many other goals I am trying to achieve that I don't want the weight of a full relationship. That is why I was talking about leaving the sex out, to keep it simple. Sex usually translates to love and I'm not looking for that now, I want friendship, companionship, support both ways, and advice(not responsibility and reliability).
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ahhh, then you need a cougar who has been there, done that and just wants the same thing.

Younger woman will want a commitment
 
blueta2 said:
It works that way if you're a rich shiek with 4 wives. Maybe you need to move to Dubai
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I'm better at pulling the trigger over there, I'm not sure living in that desert would be a good location for me full time.
 
Megalomaniac said:
Life long friend and great companion, she just wants more. I probably will in 20 years but right now I'd rather have the great sex life.

My question is there a way for me to have it all. Convince her our relationship is great and I love everything about it but yet still hook up with the other girls. Do this without damage, I could alway lie and cheat but I don't believe in that.
Click to expand...

Don't be in a relationship.

Bang anyone you want.
 
Megalomaniac said:
Recently I have found myself in a relationship and most parts of it are great. Previously I have been hooking up with hot younger ladies for sex though, which was great. I want both, the qualities the wiser, more mature lady offers but the hot sex from the younger hammers. Any advice on how to handle this?
Click to expand...

Find a "mature" woman that enjoys the same kind of sex as you and likes to keep her figure.

Or learn to compromise and decide what will mean the most to you after you've been with someone for 10-15 years.
 
Megalomaniac said:
I'm misrepresenting myself here I think. Actually I would like to be with her long term, just not now. I mean if she wants to hang out now that is great but I have so many other goals I am trying to achieve that I don't want the weight of a full relationship. That is why I was talking about leaving the sex out, to keep it simple. Sex usually translates to love and I'm not looking for that now, I want friendship, companionship, support both ways, and advice(not responsibility and reliability).
Click to expand...

Honestly, with all due respect, I call bullshit.

If you wanted to end up with her then other women would have ZERO appeal to you.

I think you don't know WHAT you want (no harm there, that is part of life).

You sound like you want a fuck buddy and there ain't nuthin wrong with that, however, you can not ask a woman to step back from what she THINKS is a committed relationship to fuck buddies with the promise that MAYBE you will want to commit to her later on.

A man will NEVER respect a fuck buddy the way that he would a woman that he wants to elevate to the status of life partner. Why should he? If she allows herself to be treated that way then he will never EVER see her any other way then just as the cow who gave away the milk for free. If she is happy with being viewed that way by a man who *supposedly* respects her, then that is good for her too.... no?

Just be honest with her and tell her straight up the way you told us here, "I do want to be with you longterm someday but NOT NOW. NOW I just want to fuck you when we are both up for it but then WE CAN BOTH fuck other people when we really don't feel like fucking one another or when the thought of fucking someone else is more appealing to either one of us."

^^^ Dunno bout you, but that wouldn't sound appealing to a woman who wanted more than *just fucking* from her man. If she IS down for that, then as I said - YOU BOTH WIN.

I mean, she gets to view the relationship through the same eyes, doesn't she?
 
BIKINIMOM said:
Honestly, with all due respect, I call bullshit.

If you wanted to end up with her then other women would have ZERO appeal to you.

I think you don't know WHAT you want (no harm there, that is part of life).

You sound like you want a fuck buddy and there ain't nuthin wrong with that, however, you can not ask a woman to step back from what she THINKS is a committed relationship to fuck buddies with the promise that MAYBE you will want to commit to her later on.

A man will NEVER respect a fuck buddy the way that he would a woman that he wants to elevate to the status of life partner. Why should he? If she allows herself to be treated that way then he will never EVER see her any other way then just as the cow who gave away the milk for free. If she is happy with being viewed that way by a man who *supposedly* respects her, then that is good for her too.... no?

Just be honest with her and tell her straight up the way you told us here, "I do want to be with you longterm someday but NOT NOW. NOW I just want to fuck you when we are both up for it but then WE CAN BOTH fuck other people when we really don't feel like fucking one another or when the thought of fucking someone else is more appealing to either one of us."

^^^ Dunno bout you, but that wouldn't sound appealing to a woman who wanted more than *just fucking* from her man. If she IS down for that, then as I said - YOU BOTH WIN.

I mean, she gets to view the relationship through the same eyes, doesn't she?
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You make fuckbuddy sound like it's a dirty thing.
 
ricco561 said:
You make fuckbuddy sound like it's a dirty thing.
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Not at all. There is a time and a place for every sort of situation but any woman who thinks that a man who views her as a fuck buddy will EVER view her as anything other than that is bigtime fooling herself.

"I am woman, hear me roar. I pay my own way and can take care of myself."

Mhm...

If your man won't commit to you then guess what? You (as a lady) aren't exactly who you thought you were to your man.

(I know that I will get a whole shitstorm of heat for that point of view but hey, I am a big girl and I can take it.)

As long as everyone is a consenting adult then who are we to judge? But if a man isn't completely upfront with his intentions then that is plain wrong.

Being a fuckbuddy is also very beneficial for the woman. She doesn't have to put up listening to his whiny bullshit drama EVER. She just gets pleased and leaves when SHE gets off. But if she doesn't know from the word jump that that is all the relationship is ever going to be then that isn't fair. If she is told and continues to lie to herself well then, she just isn't very bright... is she?

Any woman who is merely a fuckbuddy (no matter how she sugarcoats it for herself or how he sugarcoats it for her) and thinks that that man will ever view her or respect her as anything more is well, delusional. And any woman who would WANT to commit to a man who is merely her fuckbuddy thinks even less of herself than HE thinks of her.

Men don't work that way and I am not saying they should. A man should never lower his standards, just as a woman shouldn't.
 
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