This hot blonde I see at the gym all the time approached me at the bar tonight

[Nathan]

lol

Nathan, it's just like riding a bike. I have no idea why people say that because it's nothing like riding a bike, but you know what i'm getting at.

Jerk.

Anyways, I went back and avoided the blonde entirely. I ended up getting some really hot girl come up to me and ask me to dance but I told her I didn't really dance (the other girl I'm seeing, we'll call her Laura, was right there). So I looked like a jerk to her and now can't ask her out (she's a regular at the bar). Anyways, I spent a good portion of my time grinding my erection into Laura's ass and fooling around her with her a bit in the back of the bar but I don't think the hot blonde or her sister saw any of that. Laura had to go back with her friend though and so I got jack shit in the end. However, her parents are in Hawaii so I've been invited over Friday night. I haven't slept with this girl in months (just fooling around) because she doesn't trust me she said or something, I dunno I wasn't listening really. Anyways, Laura ended up calling me on my cell when I got home and asked me to come over but I have no way of getting there now. What a jackass she is. Her friend doesn't like me I guess and pulled her away and screwed me over. Wonderful. The problem is, I'm not smart enough to fool them really. I wish I were smarter.
The best part is, though, I left the bar two Saturdays ago with another blonde girl, we'll call her Jessica, and Laura saw the whole thing and text messaged me when I was in the middle of porking Jessica with the words, "Having fun?" I called her the next day and lied about it and she bought it (so it seems). I come off as innocent and overly honest for some reason and it seems to work I suppose. I do try to be honest though, usually. Fuck you. Now I feel bad. Okay, I'm back to being fine with it again.
And don't feel sorry for Laura or anything because she's full of shit at the best of times. I'm pretty sure she had a boyfriend when I first started seeing her and she'd call him to pick her up after I had just banged her. It was weird as hell and I hear strange things about her sometimes from other people at the bar. I'm stoned and this was a long post. Sorry.

 

[bitemeagain]

Jerk.

Anyways, I went back and avoided the blonde entirely. I ended up getting some really hot girl come up to me and ask me to dance but I told her I didn't really dance (the other girl I'm seeing, we'll call her Laura, was right there). So I looked like a jerk to her and now can't ask her out (she's a regular at the bar). Anyways, I spent a good portion of my time grinding my erection into Laura's ass and fooling around her with her a bit in the back of the bar but I don't think the hot blonde or her sister saw any of that. Laura had to go back with her friend though and so I got jack shit in the end. However, her parents are in Hawaii so I've been invited over Friday night. I haven't slept with this girl in months (just fooling around) because she doesn't trust me she said or something, I dunno I wasn't listening really. Anyways, Laura ended up calling me on my cell when I got home and asked me to come over but I have no way of getting there now. What a jackass she is. Her friend doesn't like me I guess and pulled her away and screwed me over. Wonderful. The problem is, I'm not smart enough to fool them really. I wish I were smarter.
The best part is, though, I left the bar two Saturdays ago with another blonde girl, we'll call her Jessica, and Laura saw the whole thing and text messaged me when I was in the middle of porking Jessica with the words, "Having fun?" I called her the next day and lied about it and she bought it (so it seems). I come off as innocent and overly honest for some reason and it seems to work I suppose. I do try to be honest though, usually. Fuck you. Now I feel bad. Okay, I'm back to being fine with it again.
And don't feel sorry for Laura or anything because she's full of shit at the best of times. I'm pretty sure she had a boyfriend when I first started seeing her and she'd call him to pick her up after I had just banged her. It was weird as hell and I hear strange things about her sometimes from other people at the bar. I'm stoned and this was a long post. Sorry.

I'll say it again. Funniest character on EF bar none. Go to sleep knowing that you make me LMAO.

 

[Nathan]

I'll say it again. Funniest character on EF bar none. Go to sleep knowing that you make me LMAO.

I'll fucking fight you right now man.

 

[bitemeagain]

I'll fucking fight you right now man.

Some other day, you'd beat the shit outta of me right now. I'm feeling really old and slow. If 2Thick was correct about jerking off often making you die younger, I don't have long left.

 

[Lao Tzu]

Its hard to imagine you go to bars for fun. Is this a common thing? What do you do there?

 

[Deleted member 33117]

Its hard to imagine you go to bars for fun. Is this a common thing? What do you do there?

Drink, chat with yoru friends, then leave with a girl.

 

[Nathan]

Its hard to imagine you go to bars for fun. Is this a common thing? What do you do there?

I don't go to bars for fun very often. I'm a bouncer. This is the bar I work at. Basically, I show up to work around 10pm stoned off my ass and talk to my fellow employees for an hour or so while we wait for the bar to fill up. Then, we go to our posts, where I stand in a daze for most of the night, with fat girl upon fat girl coming up to you thinking that because you look like you can bench press all 300lbs of them you'll automatically be attracted to them. Usually, there's about one good fight a night and it's some 19 year old wiggers who think they're gangsters. Every now and then there's a good brawl but it's rare. Not really that hard a job all things considered, especially since my bosses don't mind me coming in really really high. You've never gone to a club before?

 

[Lao Tzu]

I don't go to bars for fun very often. I'm a bouncer. This is the bar I work at. Basically, I show up to work around 10pm stoned off my ass and talk to my fellow employees for an hour or so while we wait for the bar to fill up. Then, we go to our posts, where I stand in a daze for most of the night, with fat girl upon fat girl coming up to you thinking that because you look like you can bench press all 300lbs of them you'll automatically be attracted to them. Usually, there's about one good fight a night and it's some 19 year old wiggers who think they're gangsters. Every now and then there's a good brawl but it's rare. Not really that hard a job all things considered, especially since my bosses don't mind me coming in really really high. You've never gone to a club before?

I have never gone to a club and never been to a bar before.

 

[Nathan]

I have never gone to a club and never been to a bar before.

You've said much more clever things than that before.

 

[PIGEON-RAT]

nathan, where are you from?

if i ever see you bouncing at a bar i might pee on your leg.