Split up with the lady, now a hot blond wants me to spend the night.... advice?

[RealDeal]

At least you've still got your sense of humor!

So she thinks you don't like her looking good and that you don't care about her because you haven't married her yet? Shit, major case of deja vu...not you...just me writing this. Anyway, obviously she thinks you're to blame & you think she's to blame. That's way you two NEED TO TALK about all this shit.

Problem is she isn't willing to do so.

I don't know bro. Maybe just leave work, go pack your shit and leave it at your place but in an obvious location, go kick the shit outta someone, then go back home. She'll have seen that you've packed up...then try one last time to get her to talk with you. Tell her, like you probably already have, that if she loves you, wants to be married to you, then she'd at least be willing to talk about this with you. If not, then she cannot care as much as she says. It comes down to being YES or NO, IMO.

Only you can decide what's best to do...good luck with whatever you decide. Catch you later.

 

[Big Brother Val]

I hear you. I'm not sure how to swing it right now.

She doesn't like to talk for some reason. Not anymore. We used to communicate very well.

I hope I'm not being a total piece of shit, and just not realizing it. I try to view the whole situation, and explain things just as I am in these posts. I try not to blame, or point fingers... I never yell. I just ask why she feels she's justified for being mad at me for feeling unimportant. She has never answered that question.

Thanks again for your time. I think I just may pack up before wrestling, go home after, take a shower, and tell her if she wants me to stay, talk to me. To tell me something. If not, just stay quiet, or stay mad at me, and it will prove she doesn't want me around.

Then, the hard part is sticking by my guns... and takin' the rest of the shit out of my house. Bad part is... I'll be sleeping either in the storage unit, or my car until I can get an apartment.

But a sore back from sleepin' in the car is better than how she's making me feel.

Man... do I feel like a whiney bitch.

 

[THeMaCHinE]

Val --

I'm sorry for the shit you are going through. Although it may not seem like it now, this could be a good thing. It could really help you guys figure out your differences and move closer together, or it could be the starting of the rest of your life...

Hit the site, read the basic concepts and start the book I mentioned. It will ground you. Individual counseling would probably be very helpful right now too -- it really helps to have a trained, 3rd party to talk things out with.

 

[THeMaCHinE]

I'd also consider bumping in 5-8 grams a day of Inositol (find powdered at a health food store) with a B-complex vitamin to help keep depression at bay.

 

[Hogdude]

Hey, don't know you, but reading this thread you sound like a good hearted guy, I've been there it's fucking painful--- hang in there bro...

 

[Big Brother Val]

I'll do that RealDeal. Keeping the depression away is a big part of this... A friend of mine told me his roomate moved out, and I could have the extra room, anytime I wanted. So now I have a place to go. Tonight I'm going to give her "The Talk". Not in an angry, asshole way. But I'll tell her what I need her to show me/prove to me. If she wants to marry me... show me why. If not... keep acting how she is.

If things keep going bad... I'll be out by this weekend. If she turns it around... and is willing to talk, we'll take it day by day. I hope she's willing to communicate. It's not that I can't live without her... I just sure as hell don't want to.

Thanks again, my friend.

And Hogdude... Not sure if that's a good thing on a freakin' steroid board... lot's of aggressive, hostile, iron pumping, musclebound badasses here.... I'm sorta showin' I'm a softie. But with this lady of mine, I sure as shit can't help it. Thanks.

 

[Texas Guns]

Big Bro, get your stuff as quick as you can and leave. You have let this weaken your self respect. She is in control and you are her puppet at this point.

See, you were the one looking at her and loving her before these changes in her. How many of these other men are going to love her the way you do when she can't stay in shape anymore. When she starts sagging those 34DD's, or when she starts to bore her new suitor and he starts looking for a new hottie, who is going to love her then?

I have a lot of men looking at me and taking double takes and saying things about me. (Frankly, it makes me uncomfortable) But there is no way I would ever trade that for the true love I get from my husband. There is not another man on the face of the earth who could love me like he does. Where were these men when I wasn't in shape and had three babies hanging off my hips. They didn't want me then and now they do???? Sorry Charlie. If you judge a woman's heart by the size of her butt, take a hike. The real men love the heart first then they get the body along with the total package.

They look at her in lust, you look at her in love. Give her the space and freedom she is wanting. She will realize this soon enough. All she will be is an object to anyone else. It will be fun for a while then it will start to tear her apart. She will just have to take a chance to see if you still love her and want her after she realizes you are the only true love she will ever have.

BTW--there is NOTHING more attractive to a woman than a man who is self confident and secure. Get out and find your self confidence again. If you were closer to us, you could hang out with us till you got settled somewhere!!!

Wish you all the best, and hope she comes to here senses very soon.

Mrs. TG

 

[kd]

Where are you going to sleep?

Here's a great IN with the NEW CHICK!

Try the old, "well I moved out, I need to find a new roomate or a place to live........." and then look at her with some "puppy dog" eyes and a little smile.

Then you should be right in there!. and with 3 or 4 days of hard fucking, you'll barely remember what was any good about old whats her name....lol

GO GO GO!!!!!!!!

 

[Texas Guns]

Word of advice.....heal yourself before starting a new relationship. You'll only bring in bagage and run a new one off. Of course, you may not be looking to this new girl for a "relationship". You just don't seem like the type that F**ks 'um and leaves em'.

 

[Big Brother Val]

Mrs. TG,

Wonderful post. You know, I had "the talk" with her last night... and said some nearly identicle things. I was very confident, very solid, and told her if she wants to be that superficial, then I just can't respect her body. I told her that she may find a guy who encourages her to show it off, just to feed his pathetic ego, so all the guys can see what a great piece of ass he's bangin'. And if that's what she wants, then she's not up to the same level I am, and to leave me alone.

But if she wants to be loved, respected, cherished, and protected, for the rest of her life... then she needs to think hard... and let me know it. If she chooses attention over that, then she's not the person I thought she was, and it would make leaving that much easier. I told her I had a place to go... and the second the gives me one more reason, I'm out the door.

The conversation went pretty well. She didn't say much at all. But I could tell she was actually thinking, rather than just shutting down. I hope I wasn't too harsh. I never yell, or raise my voice. But I was very firm.

And no, ma'am.... I'm not the kind of guy to sleep with a gal, and use her for that. I hate that mentality, and would never adopt that way of thinking. I wasn't so much interested in sleeping with the new gal, as I was hearing what she'd say, really.

Oh, by the way... she said a "very attractive" friend of hers saw my photos, and wants to come over during our first "training" session.

Two good lookin', nice bodied women at once. Most guys dream of that sort of thing. But I'd never even consider it, as long as I have a chance with my lady.

Thank you very much for your support. I really appreciate it.