Something awful happened - advice please.

[supersizeme]

drama

 

[AAP]

That contradicts EVERYTHING you said in your original post.

AT LEAST SHE AIN'T DEAD. I AM GLAD TO HEAR THAT.

 

[VeggieLifterChick]

um, this bitch was either ran out of town... or killed herself... or is out fucking half the city...

i'm guessing c.

Are you so addicted to Elite chat that you don't go a day without posting? SHIT! Damn I was online until 6 am last night and then I went to work today and I got home around like 10:30. LOL I did not kill myself. I was in really horrible anguish about things when I wrote that and I felt like there was no way I could handle it. Nice to see that you're so fucking compassionate.

**by the way, I realize that last post was unclear. We HAD an open relationship at the time when I fucked that other guy, but this latest incident happened when things were exclusive. Totally different circumstances**

**Also, yes this is going to be long distance for a few years at least because he lives in New Mexico when not in the army, and I am in school in NJ.**


Anyways, I had a really really long discussion with Naturally Anabolic last night, and I've come to some conclusions. First of all, all of you assholes who feel like you can make confident statements about whether or not I'm in love with "my Ranger" are full of shit. I AM in love with him, more deeply than you can ever know. But love has nothing to do with this.

I think what I need to take from this is the knowledge that I can't handle the terms of this relationship as it is. I do feel lonely - how could I not? I can't even talk to him! There are reasons why I was seduced, beyond the fact that I have a sex drive (though I do have a really serious sex drive). Clearly I need attention and I need to feel cared for, and this situation wasn't cutting it.

For that reason, I feel like I need to discuss what happened with him. I am going to tell him what I just said, which is that I learned that I can't handle the terms as is. I'm also not feeling emotionally satisfied with it. I am going to tell him that I decided not to move in with A because one night I slept over his place and he tried to get with me. I'm going to tell him that we cuddled and carressed eachother, but that we didn't kiss. (He doesn't need to know about the dry fucking -- had we gone to a club, we would have done that there, and I know my BF wouldn't give a shit, because that's been discussed). I'll let him decide whether that is cheating or not.

I need to face the repercussions of what I did, but I also need to acknowledge why it happened, and understand things, so that I don't make promises I can't keep.

He is the most wonderful person I have ever met. I am deeply in love with him. Every single time I see him I feel like I'm living in a utopian dream world. He says the same. That;s why its so painful to think that this might end things.

It will be up to him to decide how to deal with things.

 

[JohnyJuice]

solution: eat meat.



j2da2

I think she already did, and thats what got her in trouble. She ate Mr. grade "A's" meat.

P.S. If you decide to tell him, or end it, wait until he is done with Ranger school. He has enough stress already.

 

[VeggieLifterChick]

Veggie lifter,

In that case i should apologise, because Frack and Bmom were responding to my post.

In your previous threads, i had clearly thought that you said you were on 'probation' with your boyfriend because you had cheated on him with another guy, which is why i wrote that post.

I wasn't aware of the how and why's of that encounter, but did your boyfriend consider what you did to be cheating?

Sorry that i was unclear. Yes, he did consider these 2 months to be probation. I don't know if he ever called what happened "cheating" technically, but it hurt him and shook his trust, which is why these 2 months mattered so much.

Before that, there was one other incident. A guy friend slept over, a dude who seemed as virtuous as could be, and he kissed me. It was allowed because at the time our relationship was open. But my boyfriend was really hurt by that too. Looking back on it I can see that he really ought to have been more honest with himself sooner, and told me that he needed monogamy because he can't handle me getting with other people.

And yeah, I am fucking retarded, because I always trst my guy friends. I never really think they're trying to fuck me...but it always turns out that they are.

 

[VeggieLifterChick]

Ah yup, pretty much.

All is not lost, this should force you to think about you, your beau and your future with each other.


Next time I would take the a sofa as a place to sleep.


Experiences are for learning and you'll learn from this and while ending your life over it is not wise, learning from a less than desirable choice IS wise.

The sofa was taken. That;s why I slept in his bed. And yes, actually, if this relationship ends, all IS lost.

 

[vinylgroover]

Sounds to me like you and your boyfriend both have alot of maturing to do, and quite frankly at 20 years old, neither of you need to be in this type of relationship because you don't have the life experience or maturity to handle it. That is in no way a criticism.......Life shouldn't be that serious at 20. You both need to live a bit.

 

[Frackal]

DOES THAT CHANGE YOUR CRITICAL TUNE, ANY, FRACKAL AND BMOM?

not really

 

[Pamela]

>It was just carressing and cuddling and brushing our lips over >eachother without kissing.

That's IT? Good god, that's like a real elongated hug. I've seen people do more on the dance floor than that!

I agree, you're getting WAY over-dramatic. Chill out and go get a beer. Stop thinking so much into it. You didn't do squat.

-= nav =-

I agree with supernav...


It would be "A LOT" different if you were married..

You very young right now, you both should be enjoying yourselves.

The time will come to settle down..
And you will both know it..

 

[velvett]

The sofa was taken. That;s why I slept in his bed. And yes, actually, if this relationship ends, all IS lost.

OK let me speak from personal experience, you will feel like all is lost for a while. A few months, perhaps a year but after time passes and you gain distance from the event you will learn that the heart is far stronger than you give credit. The heart can love over and over again, deeply, even when it has been broken but only if you choose to let it.