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some general bodybuilding tips
- Thread starter TheBudMan
- Start date
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jenscats5
Guest
I'm laughing so hard I'm crying...........my hubby thinks I'm nutz....
Redshoteye
New member
I think I slightly wet myself laughing.
Reading this in Arnie accent makes it even better than Bilestews musclemuscle thread, my god.
Reading this in Arnie accent makes it even better than Bilestews musclemuscle thread, my god.
TheBudMan
New member
The other day I opened my huge fridge to notice it was empty except for a jar of huge pickles. So I decided to go for my daily groceries. It was a sunny day out, so I decided to run naked down the street, propelling myself 100mph each step with my gigantic legs. I stopped to smell a tulip, and accidently inhaled a bee. I sneezed the bee, like a bullet into a someone's huge keg, popping it like a balloon. When I got to the grocery store, it was locked and I started screaming, "LET ME IN!!!!" while shaking the doors off their hinges. The fat narc security guard beside me started to shit his pants. I then simply walked and smashed through the doors with my 8 foot chest. I loaded my daily 8 shopping cart load, and left a shiny penny on the counter.
DieselGunz
New member
LMAO, best alter of late for sure!
TheBudMan
New member
Here is a true story about my quest for an Ostrich egg.
One morning, I noticed I was out of Ostrich eggs. So I went to my backyard farm to get some, but Franco had stolen my flock of Ostriches. So I travelled out to the country to find an Ostrich, I finally found one, guarding an egg. I couldn't go up and take it, because I would have got cut by it's huge Ostrich claw. So I dressed up as an Ostrich and started walking towards it. The ostrich caught a glimpse of my giant steroid legs poking out of my costume, and was afraid because it knew it only had noodle bird legs. I stood up and started flapping my huge Ostrich wings and screamed, "GIVE ME THE DAMN EGG!!!!!!" The wind from my flaps flew the bird away into the sky. I then cracked open the gigantic egg and drank a half underdevolped baby ostrich.
When I came back to my ranch, I noticed the World Wildlife Fund had found out about my farm, and had confiscated all of my animals. I could no longer eat my precious silver back gorilla meat. And they had taken my only living dodo, which lays me it's precious egg every morning. Then I noticed my pet bird Tweety's cage was empty, they had taken him. "NNNNNNOOOOOO!!!!!! TWEEEEEETTYYYYY!!!!" But I then noticed he was only at the bottom of the cage taking a dump.
One morning, I noticed I was out of Ostrich eggs. So I went to my backyard farm to get some, but Franco had stolen my flock of Ostriches. So I travelled out to the country to find an Ostrich, I finally found one, guarding an egg. I couldn't go up and take it, because I would have got cut by it's huge Ostrich claw. So I dressed up as an Ostrich and started walking towards it. The ostrich caught a glimpse of my giant steroid legs poking out of my costume, and was afraid because it knew it only had noodle bird legs. I stood up and started flapping my huge Ostrich wings and screamed, "GIVE ME THE DAMN EGG!!!!!!" The wind from my flaps flew the bird away into the sky. I then cracked open the gigantic egg and drank a half underdevolped baby ostrich.
When I came back to my ranch, I noticed the World Wildlife Fund had found out about my farm, and had confiscated all of my animals. I could no longer eat my precious silver back gorilla meat. And they had taken my only living dodo, which lays me it's precious egg every morning. Then I noticed my pet bird Tweety's cage was empty, they had taken him. "NNNNNNOOOOOO!!!!!! TWEEEEEETTYYYYY!!!!" But I then noticed he was only at the bottom of the cage taking a dump.
TheBudMan
New member
One time I wanted to demonstrate the power of my buttocks. But did not know how. At first, I cracked walnuts between my titanium ass cheeks, but that was too easy. So I looked for something harder to crack. So I picked up a 45lbs plate, and cracked it in half. I then searched the city for something harder to crack. I then noticed a telephone pole, and cracked it like a baby twig. I then walked into a steel factory and picked up a huge piece of titanium steel and cracked it while screaming as loud as I could. I noticed my buttocks got an excellent workout from this. I then stood next to a cement wall and began to punch it down with my ass cheeks. But later that night I had a problem, I had to take a huge crap, but my rock hard gigantic buttocks were fused together because of it's muscularity. I did the splits to attempt to spread them, but that just made them tighter for some reason. So I took a laxative, but it did not work, and I did not shit that day. The next day I was doing the abdominator, and I felt a cramp in my powerful stomach. I just ignored it and began to flex my ass in the mirror. I flexed so hard I ripped a hole straight through my pants. Then all of a sudden I could not hold in my cramps, then uncontrobly liquid shit began to leak from my rock hard ass like water struggling to get out of a mountain crack, and it sprayed out in such a fine line, it was like a laser cutting everything it was aimed at.
TheBudMan
New member
This story may help you fellow bodybuilders....
One time, Franco asked me to spot him while he was lifting baby weights. So as he was benching his baby weights I tea bagged him, causing him to drop his baby weight onto his baby chest as he let out a baby scream. I told him if you want to be a great bodybuilder like me you must not let anything detract you.
We laughed for 9 hours after that.
One time, Franco asked me to spot him while he was lifting baby weights. So as he was benching his baby weights I tea bagged him, causing him to drop his baby weight onto his baby chest as he let out a baby scream. I told him if you want to be a great bodybuilder like me you must not let anything detract you.
We laughed for 9 hours after that.
