Ridiculous Job Descriptions: Can You Decipher Them?

[Longhorn85]

In today's Wash Post I read in the society pages about a young bride to be who describes herself as an, "opinion researcher for a crisis communications firm".

I had to think about it for a while then I realized that she works the phones at a collection agency.

What do you do for a living?

I'm a Governmental Defense Planner/Technician (Army Officer)

 

[EnderJE]

Solution Architect

 

[theoak01]

Private investigator and personal security guard

best way to describe it and the title changes with each job and where I work

I call myself a security specialist

 

[nugget]

Network and infrastructure systems maintainence

 

[Longhorn85]

Private investigator and personal security guard

best way to describe it and the title changes with each job and where I work

I call myself a security specialist

Hmmm. How about Private Investigative Consultant?

Solution Architect

That's a good one. What does it really mean? Systems Analyst?

infrastructure systems maintainence

Sounds like a good job. Also, if I were a Janitor this is what I would put on my resume.

 

[theoak01]

nah that makes me sound like im the boss lol,im a minion at this company

 

[Longhorn85]

That's the idea I think with these ridiculous job titles. Sound important.

 

[theoak01]

lol ok then Private Investigative Consultant it is

 

[Dial_tone]

I hate IT job descriptions usually...people trying to sound important. My title is Information Services Manager but I prefer Systems Admin.

 

[needtogetaas]

cheff.

 

[nimbus]

data protocol analyst specializing in remote communication among defective units




= EF mod

 

[Longhorn85]

My title is Information Services Manager

Data-sharing Facilitator

cheff.

Bio-Nutritional Engineer

EF mod

Non-profit conflict resolution consultant

 

[Smurfy]

Non-profit conflict resolution consultant

rofl

 

[biteme]

It's one of the first questions that women always ask you. What do you do? I tell them, "Hang out on the computer and shit like that." "No for work I mean." "Oh, I'm the Chief executive officer of the security dept. I got a gold badge and all."

 

[Longhorn85]

Unemployed = Independent Human Resource Locator

 

[needtogetaas]

Unemployed = Independent Human Resource Locator

lol

 

[Longhorn85]

rofl

If you ever read that free Washington Post Express that they hand out at Metro Stops, it was on page 10 Friday. I couldn't believe the way young newlyweds describe their occupations.

 

[jnevin]

In today's Wash Post I read in the society pages about a young bride to be who describes herself as an, "opinion researcher for a crisis communications firm".

I had to think about it for a while then I realized that she works the phones at a collection agency.

What do you do for a living?

I'm a Governmental Defense Planner/Technician (Army Officer)

I didn't even read this. I'm just happy to see someone on here didn't spell ir "rediculous".

okthanksbye

 

[Sub-Zero]

Pointless Unfunny Stupid Waste of Time




=this thread

 

[-SD-]

Government funded Academic specialist.

 

[Sub-Zero]

Immigrant Who Cleans Up Your Shit








= sorearms

is it just me or has he been posting alot less, i miss him

 

[gjohnson5]

I'm a DBA

 

[Sub-Zero]

I'm a DBA

dick biting asshole?

 

[gjohnson5]

The asshole part is probablly correct

 

[Longhorn85]

Government funded Academic specialist.

I didn't know you were a public school teacher. Cool.

I'm a DBA

Whuzzat?

 

[Sub-Zero]

Catholic Church Funded Prepubescent Cock Petter

 

[jnevin]

I'm a DBA

Business as what?

What are you contracted to do?

 

[gjohnson5]

Business as what?

What are you contracted to do?

DBA = Database Administrator
I am contracted by the State of Florida

 

[swole]

I'm an Entry Level Move Maker

 

[radarstoy]

Independent Research Assistant in Child Development = Mom

Government Communication Administrator in Education = School Librarian

 

[RADAR]

electronics technician.........even called "late for supper"


RADAR

 

[Longhorn85]

Independent Research Assistant in Child Development = Mom

Government Communication Administrator in Education = School Librarian

Those are really good, except I'd call the first one Chief vs Assistant.

electronics technician.........even called "late for supper"


RADAR

Circuitry Architect

I'm an Entry Level Move Maker

Avant Garde Film Maker

 

[-SD-]

I didn't know you were a public school teacher. Cool.





Whuzzat?

student who gets financial aid.

 

[Longhorn85]

student who gets financial aid.

My Daughter is off to college this fall. I hope she graduates in four years and doesn't become a "Lifelong Research Specialist".