relationship problems?

[cat_fish]

I don't know, for me its been completely different. To the best of my knowledge the women I've been involved with have never fucked around on me if there was one I never knew about it.

As far as confronting her about cheating why? What purpose would it serve? Its not going to take away the pain if anything IMO its going to add to it. If I were in instant muscle's shoes I'd stay as far away from the bitch as possible .

When it comes to a relationship men and women are completely different. From my experiences women don't need to go from one branch to another what they do need is closure if its over its over that's it! Whereas men for the most part closure means not being able to tap that ass every now and then so we as men like to keep that door open just for that reason. What I've learned over the years is most women need time to get over a relationship, they need time to heal but we as men find its easier to get over a woman by finding another one to take her place.

The one thing I have always done when I get involved with a woman and it looks like its going to be a monogamous relationship I'll tell her if there's ever a time they want to spend time with someone else tell me before they do it. I'm not going to beg, I'm not going to cry, I'm going to move on with my life because if they don't tell me sooner or later I'm going to find out about it anyway and the end result is going to be the same, in other words treat me the way you want to be treated.

 

[Sassy69]

At this point if she perceives that you've changed and she can't vocalize what specifically - either you actually have changed or she's just making excuses for a side guy. In my experience women can legitimately get turned off by somethign that may just not seem right - then you wonder is this what this guy is REALLY like? That's where it becomes a point of perception - if you aren't aware of anything that has changed about you, then you would suspect her of lying / cheating / whatever. And again, I don't know so I can't guess if she's actually looking for an out due another guy or maybe you are different to her and she isn't ready to dive into a marriage in a situation that makes her uncomfortable and possibly you don't even acknowledge.

It doesn't always have to be another guy so dont' spend all of your efforts suspecting her of something. At least take the time to explore what is bothering her and see if you perceive the same "changes" or whatever she says is different. This goes directly striaght back to the critica need for open communication because as soon as there's somethign tht is either never spoken or is voiced and not 'heard', one person, then the other will start to back into a shell -- i.e. when it feels like "us" just became "you" and "me".

 

[instant.muscle]

well we both went thru a big ordeal in Katrina losing all our belongings so maybe its good i found out now before we got married, i wanna thank all of u that helped me with this and if i could i would karma all but on this new karma thing i got none left

 

[Sassy69]

Wow that sux. I"m sorry to hear that. Shit, to be honest, even that could have huge impact on what she "wants out of life" and what she's been thru - as well as you.

 

[Lestat]

relationships are tough for the toughest of guys. I like whoever said that we just aren't equipped to handle or deal with that shit, that is very true.