biteme said:
I think a lot of us men have had the experience of making a committment to love a woman for the rest of our lives, through sickness and health, good times, bad times, etc. They made that committment in return and reneged on it for no good reason and after a lengthy relationship. This committment to many women means nothing. I think they are far more fickle than men. If I love a women, it will be forever. That has been the case both times that I fell in love. I would never have left them because I truly loved them. How can a man trust the average woman these days? Knowing the divorce statistics. 80% of all divorces are instigated by women. I read this statistic at Father's Rights. 60% of first marriages end in divorce these days. The statistic is higher for second marriages. The reason, women are always looking for the grass is greener on the other side. That is what I think anyway.
It's all about the green.
$$$
As with any encounter all individual experiences and responses may vary....
A man will cheat on a woman and stay with his wife because the divorce will cost him too much - and if he is lucky he will not get a caught.
A woman will cheat on a man and leave her husband for the new love and get her chunk of the pie providing there have been enough to contribute to the receipt of said $$$.
Men and women will always be different even when commit the very same act, they are wired different and it will always be as such.
Hopefully men and women can look beyond the hurtful actions of their prior mate(s) and not punish those in their future because of the action of another that they did not commit.
After my parents married, my father forbid my mother to work even though she had been an active journalist during their 6 year courtship. Then he gave her an allowance to live by (food, me, dry cleaning, gas, etc) and when she did not abide by his rules he punished her by leaving her no money to buy anything for the household and he would eat his meals out and drop his own clothes off at the cleaners. When she couldn't take it anymore she punished me because there was no else around.
They should have gotten divorced in the early 80's when I 11-12 years old but they did not. They just continued their co-dependant - I abuse and I need to be abused relationship.
In the early 90's my father did everything he could think of to make her miserable and in result she tortured him in response. He told her that you can be free if "you divorce me" - because to him it could not be his failure but hers. "I will never divorce you "her name" I would kill you first."
In 98, the day after Christmas my father found himself cuffed in front of his own house and placed in jail. I'm still unaware of what the truth is behind that event was but it starts a 4-year divorce preceding.
The details of the follow 4 years of hell (mine included) are too lengthy but what is important is that they never did get divorced.
Why?
Money.
After 37 years.
So now co-exist between 3 houses - one of which they both really like and both fight over hating each other waiting to see who die first so the other can live out the rest of their lives without the other.
Why did I tell you all this?
Men and women are influenced by the actions of those around us. The experiences we live through and the experiences that we create and come through our own accord.
That is why neither two men nor no two women can be judged the very same way and even when we consciously try not to judge we do anyway as if it were an auto-response.
I don't know - I just felt chatty.
So there it is.